


Wanted Dead or Alive

by Jodz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Dean, Alpha Dean, Alpha Sam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Whump, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, I know we don't like Lisa but stick with it!, John's A+ Parenting, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Minor Character Death, Omega Castiel, One True Pairing, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Self-Lubrication, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Triggers, True Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 57
Words: 135,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5210813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jodz/pseuds/Jodz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who would figure a corrupt Government starting an unjust war would only be the second worst hing to happen to Sam and Dean Winchester.  </p><p>Sam had met a Omega Jess and was managing to evade the Winchester Curse thus far.... </p><p>Dean, unmated and hating every second was lost, he had no mate and no life, only a father who despised him and was hellbent of making his life miserable...</p><p>Castiel hated all Alphas and had resigned to be an unmated Omega and instead focused on his career.  Everything changed when the story of the year lead him to Dean Winchester.  </p><p>Dean has to put his faith in an unkown Omega in order to survive, little did he know how important the Omega would turn out to be....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... Bored one night gonna do a playlist thing and quotes n stuff. If it's too much let me know!
> 
> "Block the entrances  
> Close the doors  
> Seal the exits  
> 'Cause this is war
> 
> All gave some  
> Some gave all  
> But for what  
> I want to know"
> 
> "Survivor Guilt" by Rise Against.

 

_The war had raged on for almost a decade.  Neither the Lychans nor the Pale-Ones could say it was worth the sacrifice anymore; both races had lost.  In the end the Pale-Ones had lost more, they eventually surrendered and agreed to the Lychan’s demands.  The Pale-Ones were all registered and put into enclosed reservation camps their Sires had mostly been wiped out from the war, they were slowly becoming extinct, that was the only reason the Lychans showed mercy as the threat had all but vanished._

_The war had been intense, Sires facing the Alphas.  It became less and less about morals, and more about revenge and pay back.  Whole cities had been destroyed, feuds raging for years until there was no one left to fight them.  Whole families with pure lineage had been wiped from the board, on both sides._

_The Lychans were not any better off.  Most of the pure Alpha bloodlines had been lost, only a tiny percentage of the Alphas survived the war, even fewer came from solid established bloodlines.  The Alpha Sec of the government had a plan, to boost the Alpha population, no matter what the cost..._

 


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please Comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
>  
> 
> "I shut the door and turn all the lights out.  
> And listen to all the songs that the night shouts."
> 
> "Can't be saved" By Senses Fail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole fic is dedicated to DestielJunkie. She is doing an awesome job Beta reading! Once you have finished reading this fic you should DEFINITELY check out her works!
> 
> There are many triggers in this fic PLEASE read the tags before you read the fic

Dean sat miserably at the dining table and poured himself a bowl of cereal.  He could feel the irritability and need building low in his gut.  It was the time in his cycle filled him with dread.  He was in the middle of his rut.  The ruts were only becoming more urgent and more intense as his body protested the fact he had not taken a mate and created a litter of pups and at aged twenty four he was no closer to finding his mate.  More worryingly, his father would remind Dean of this fun fact and ask _why_ Dean hadn’t looked hard enough for his mate.  John Winchester wasn’t a man to be made a fool of and currently the fact that his eldest son had yet to be mated was something that could question his authority as head of the clan.  Dean had planned to camp out in his room and avoid the stream of name calling, and drunken threats.  He wished he could go visit his uncle Bobby for a couple days like he used to.  At Uncle Bobby’s, just a short day’s drive away, he could let the rut pass him by.  Between waves of unbearable need, Bobby would show him how to fix up cars, would cook for him and generally help Dean through the worst side of being an Alpha.   He had to stop going a few years back once Sam had presented as Alpha and his ruts started to hit.  Although Dean tried to get Sam to go to Bobby’s, John had insisted that they should stay in Lawrence and they shouldn’t have to run away from their nature like little, whiney, Omega bitches. 

               

That particular insult stung, since then Dean vowed he would do whatever it took to make his father proud, however, fate had a different plan and so far he was mateless and left to suffer the growing wrath of his father.  It only worsened when Sam had found his True Mate, Jessica.  Dean chewed thoughtfully thinking on the whole ‘True Mates.’  If the lore books are to be believed, there is one True Mate Omega for every Alpha. Pair bonding with a True Mate was made out to be very easy, the sociology experts liked to theorise that due to a ‘clustering’ phenomenon, you were likely to meet your True Mate.  Dean remembered Sam had met Jessica at the local bookstore where Sam was being the giant nerd that he is and Jess was browsing around the horror section for something new.  They happened across each other but fell in love instantly, their shared love of reading and perusing knowledge connecting them.  Dean would never forget the look on Sam’s face when he came home and announced he had met his True Mate.  He was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing around the house like a huge, overgrown pup.  It was only a matter of weeks until they were living together.

 

Dean was ecstatic for his little Sammy, of course he was, however the torrent of slander and abuse he received after Sam had moved out only grew in acidity.  That was only a few months ago.  Sam had urged Dean to move out, to find a place of his own, to leave their no good father behind.  Dean sincerely wished he could, but on more than one occasion Dean had returned home from work or from a rare night out and found his father in a puddle of his own vomit, barely breathing.  Whilst he wished he could leave, the thought of his father dying alone, covered in his own mess was too unbearable. 

 

Dean was bonded to his father in a way Sam had never managed to understand.  He was four years older than his brother, he could remember the fire, the heat, Dean still to this day had no idea how it started.  His mother grabbed him and dragged him down the hall with Sammy in her arms.  Then the wall fell, pinning her down, she just managed to dig Sam out of the rubble and shove the tiny coughing bundle into Dean’s small six and half year olds arms and told him to run.  They had just managed to get out when the house was consumed in a fiery ball.  Sam was too young to remember the love and kindness that their mother had given them.  He didn’t remember her blue sapphire eyes her soothing voice when she sang them to sleep.  When she died and father had returned from the army frontline, he was never the same.  He started drinking to cope with the loss.  That’s when the ‘education’ really stared.

 

John had insisted that both Sam and Dean learn the lore down to the letter and follow the traditional behaviours and rituals observed by Alphas since the dawn of time.   Dean could still remember the day he learned his True Mate might just be around the corner.  The cluster phenomenon proposes that the person you are most likely to procreate successfully with would be brought up in a similar setting thus holding similar virtues, beliefs, sharing social circles even.  This common ground would form the basis of the relationship.  When John had once tried to educate them about how it all worked after a few drinks.  He ineloquently stumbled through the story of how Mary had been working in the coffee shop just around the corner from his work.  Even though she was from a modest back ground her Dad had been military trained and that was the common ground they shared.  John then went onto try talk about breeding but Dean had run away with Sam outside before he could ruin what little memories he had of his mother.

 

The more religious coots would have everyone believe that it was destiny at work and you would meet your True Mate at the perfect time.  On the whole, Omegas usually mated with Alphas but since the Great War, Dean had heard his father worrying over the decimation of the Alpha population and how Omegas were being claimed by second rate Betas in order to breed.  As a result, there were very few Alphas presenting, even then, they weren’t deemed as pure Alphas. 

 

Dean mentally shook himself to clear his head.  He pulled himself away from his morbid thoughts and ponderings of life’s great mysteries.  He went to go and grab a cup of coffee when a wave of gut wrenching pain swept across him.  He scrambled noisily back upstairs to his room.  He buried his face in his pillow and screamed until the pain relented.  Only then could he stumble to the bathroom and use his hand to settle the swollen knot at the base of his cock.  His primal instincts longed for a warm, wet hole he could fuck into and make the pain go away completely.  As it was he could only make the pain settle to a dull ache that was only just bearable to continue his day.  He made his way back to bed and closed his eyes, determined this time he would sleep through his rut as much as the pain would allow.  He couldn’t have been asleep  for more than twenty minutes when someone was crashing into his room, the odour of stale alcohol and general musk flooded Dean’s room, notifying Dean of his father’s arrival.

 

“What the fuck was all that noise about!” Only when John stopped and assessed his son’s obvious discomfort and the smelled the Alpha pheromones in the air did he get the reason for Dean still being in bed.  “Dean you lazy shit!  Maybe if you spent less time in bed and out working or socialising you would have found your fucking mate already!”

 

“Dad.  Please? Not today.  I’m in so much pain!  Besides you know why I’m not out working.”  As soon as the words slipped out Dean wished he could take them back.  He could see his Dad’s face turn red with Alpha dominance and anger.

 

“It’s not my fault your boss is a bastard!”  He screamed and spat at Dean, storming across the room to his bed.  Dean cowered under his duvet as the waves of insults and punches rained down on him.  John regularly visited Dean’s work at JJ’s mechanics to get money for more booze, when Dean had told him he didn’t have any money to give him, he stormed off in the car, deliberately smashing into two customer cars in a fit of rage.  After that, Dean had been fired and since then no one would go near the eldest Winchester boy.  Once John had worked through most of his rage he straightened up and walked out the room like nothing had happened, the only words he muttered on the way out were, “be a bit fucking quieter I have a raging hangover.”

 

Dean slowly got out of bed and assessed the damage, the duvet had dulled the hits well, just one glancing blow to his cheek had left a small cut and a bruise.  By far not the worst beating he’s taken.  His Dad would apologise and promise to get his shit together tonight.  There would be a couple good days, and then the cycle would start again.  Dean often thought about leaving, his Dad told him to fuck off enough times.  The truth was he feared for his father, if he didn’t have money to pay the rent, Dean shuddered to think what deals he might make, what unsavoury characters he would get mixed up with.  At least with Dean living there, paying half the rent, his father had someone to keep an eye on him.  He took the abuse because, it was his dad, he would never lift a hand to hurt his Dad.  When Dean did try to leave once, he came home after a couple days to find John covered in vomit, laying back in his chair, barely breathing.  Dean was too scared to leave after that.  There was no way that Dean would be responsible for his father’s death because he was too selfish to look after him.

 

Dean got showered and dressed, making sure to jack himself off a number of times to lessen the risk of the pain hitting him whilst he was out.  He was coming to the end of his rut and should manage a day outside without fucking anything that moved.  He shrugged on his favourite canvas jacket and went in search for... well Dean didn’t know but the fresh air helped to clear his head.   He needed to work to get some much needed money, so Dean started there.

 

He had been wandering about talking to any mechanics in the area, looking for a new job when he smelled the distinct smell of a distressed Omega.  It was sharp and acidic burned his nose slightly.  He looked around the currently deserted street.  There was nothing other than suburban peace and quiet.  Dean followed the scent to one of the houses and knocked on the door.  A tearful, yet beautiful Omega woman stood in the door way.  Dean looked at this woman right in the eyes, willing himself to feel a connection, a deep bond that would tie them together forever.  Again, Dean though, Destiny or fate of whatever crap powered the universe was just playing a sick joke on him.  He felt nothing for this woman, other than the very human, non base instinct, to comfort her.  “are you ok Miss?  I smelled your distress scent.”

 

“Oh.  Um yes. Sorry about that.  I’m having a bad day, but I’m fine, honest.  Thanks for your concern!”  The woman was about to close the door when Dean put a hand out to catch it and gently pushed it wide open. 

 

“You don’t look fine.  No offense!  Um, I might be able to help?”  Dean gave his biggest reassuring smile, the one he used on Sam a thousand times to comfort young Sammy.

 

“Do you know anything about cars?  Mine is broken somehow.  My son is sick, I can’t get him to the doctor’s.  I’m supposed to be at work.  The house is a mess and I have no one to help!”  A fresh wave of tears rolled down the woman’s cheeks.  Dean went with his first reaction and gathered the woman in his arms and gave her a hug.

 

“Hey hey hey it’s ok.  What’s your name?”  


“Lisa”

 

“Well Lisa, I am here to save the day!”

 

For the next couple of hours Dean, worked away one the car.  The poor abused thing was on its last legs and hadn’t been taken care of at all.  He managed to get it going and drove Lisa, and her son Ben to the doctors where the boy was seen and given medication.  He drove them home again and was going to start heading home because he started to feel the pain accumulate in his gut.  Lisa asked him to stay for a coffee.  Dean smiled and went in, firmly ignoring the unanswered need to find his True Mate who was, unfortunately, not the woman whose house he was currently in.  He learned her tragic story, her True Mate, her Alpha, like so many others, had been killed in the war against the Pale-Ones.  It was the second anniversary of his death.  Dean couldn’t begin to imagine the pain of losing your mate.  He saw what it did to his father and his heart went out to the poor Omega woman, struggling to hold it all together. 

 

 


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "We'll make the great escape  
> We won't hear a word they say  
> They don't know us anyway"
> 
> "The Great Escape" by Boys Like Girls

As the sun streamed through the open window, Sam opened his eyes and smiled.  He was laying bed with his beautiful mate.  She was currently wrapped around him, nuzzled into the crook of his neck scenting him, breathing in the Alpha pheromones that were only just starting to ease away at the end of his cycle.  His rut had hit a few days ago, he now started to look forward to few days every month that he could let his instincts take over and basically live in bed with his mate.   Instead of the unrelenting pain, Sam only ever had the total bliss of being with his Omega.

 

                _Sam remembered back to when he met Jess.  It was a random Wednesday afternoon Sam had finished his classes at the local Community College and was hitting up the bookstore looking for a book by his favourite author H.P. Lovecraft.  He was lost in his own little world.  He had managed to get a Saturday job at the local Gas’n’Sip and finally had his own money he could spend as he pleased.  He tried to give some to Dean to help with the rent but Dean had refused and told him if he ever offered him money for rent again he would have to punch him.  Instead of dwelling on his family’s problems he spent as much time as he could perusing the isles of books, memorizing titles to look up later.  He was in the horror section when a small girl with gleaming eyes and glowing blond hair looked up at him and asked him “Do you know about this kinda stuff?”_

_“Um. I.  Err...  Yeah, I guess!”  Sam’s cheeks reddened as he stumbled over his words.  “What sorta stuff you after?”_

_“Oh I dunno really.  I’m bored of the girly books.  I want things with monsters, with magic.”  The girl became more animated the more she spoke._

_“Magic?  Monsters?  Sounds like you need H.P.  Lovecraft, he’s a genius.  What’s your name?”  Sam started to grow in confidence when it seemed they had common interests.  The girl was extremely pretty and her voice sounded like a song sung by angels._

_“My name is Jess.  What’s yours?”  At that point Sam’s world turned upside down.  It was like the planets had aligned and made this connection between these two strangers.  Sam felt like he was being ploughed down by a truck and being lifted by angels, all at the same time.  His nose was filled with her scent and he was instantly addicted. He would never be able to get enough of it. She smelled like a new paperback book, mixed with a warm scent of cinnamon and ginger. His heart sang, he imagined them snuggled on a sofa, hot drinks in hand, hiding from a Kansas storm. This was one of the points in his life that would define him.  Or rather it would if he wasn’t standing gawping at the poor girl in the middle of the book store._

_“Sam!  My name’s Sam.”  Sam was internally cursing himself.  He wished he had the ease that his brother, Dean, had when it came to talking to girls.  Maybe he could get some tips later.  Jess was still looking at him expectantly, as if waiting for more than his name.  “Um, would you like to go for a coffee with me? Only if you have time!”_

_“Finally!  Of course Sam.  I would love that.  Maybe I can skim though your copy of the Lovecraft book, see if it’s something I like?”  Jess could have asked anything of him then and he still would have agreed._

_That had been almost four months ago.  Their love for each other had blossomed quickly, moving in together after a month and a half.  When he told Dean he was leaving, he wasn’t sure if his brother was crying with happiness for him or sadness that he was left alone with Dad.   Sam tried his hardest to get Dean to leave with him, hell he even offered Dean to move in with him and Jess for a while.  Dean had stubbornly stayed at home with their Dad, out of some undeserved loyalty._

_The thought of Dean being stuck there with that dick made Sam’s blood boil.  He never forgave his father for what he had done to Dean.  Sam’s earliest memories were of Dean hurriedly tucking him into his bed and willing him to keep quiet, keep still and to not make a noise.  Sam never understood why Dean would return a while later, tears streaming from his eyes, stiffly getting into his bed.  It was only as Sam grew up he realised that Dean was hiding him away from their father’s drunken rages.  He also learned that if Dean didn’t go out and face his father, his father would come into the room and shouted and bawled until they were both shivering under their duvets.  Those particular nights Dean would cross the room and crawl into bed with him once Dad had left.  It was then Dean who apologised, for not going out to face Dad and for not protecting him.  Things had improved when they both were at school; he went back to work more hours and only ever drank on his days off.  That’s when Dean had turned from Dad’s punch bag to Dad’s carer.  Usually having to clean him up, occasionally having to put him into the recovery position on the floor to stop the asshat drowning in his own vomit._

_Sam told his Dad about Jess a few weeks after they met.  He didn’t want Jess to be associated with such a horrible part of his life.  John had insisted on meeting her and wouldn’t take no for an answer.  Much to Sam’s relief, John had been on his best behaviour and even kept the ridicule of Dean to a minimum, after a few warning looks.  They left before John could finish his third straight glass of bourbon._

 

There was a shift in the weight beside him that pulled Sam from his thoughts.  He immersed in the happiness a day like today should bring.  After a long discussion after Sam’s last rut, he and Jessica decided to make it official and this cycle, claimed each other.  He shrugged his shoulders experimentally and felt the stretch of torn flesh on his shoulder.  He smiled at the mild pain and hummed in pleasure.  He looked down at Jess’s own wound; it looked clean, but sore.  His Alpha bite had been a lot deeper then the Omega girl had managed to imprint on him.  His brow creased with guilt, he hadn’t meant to be that rough but in the heat of the moment he was unable to control himself.  When his Omega gave him permission to claim her, he sank his teeth straight away.  It had been a life changing moment; he suspected he wouldn’t be able to live without Jessica before.  After last night, it was gospel; he would be a broken man if anything ever happened to his Omega.  They were no longer two people but two halves of a whole entity.

 

“You’re thinking too loudly.”  A sleepy little voice chided him.  Sam felt his mate shift and sling an arm over Sam’s stomach.

 

“You can’t hear me thinking.  You aren’t psychic!”  Sam laughed.  He craned his head down to her cute little nose and gave it a loving kiss. 

 

“No but I can see you brooding.  You could brood with the best of them.”

 

“I was just thinking about how we met, it’s a good memory.”  Sam was still smiling.  “I was thinking about Dean too.  I should see him today.  He’s not going to be in a good place right now.”

 

“Are you gonna tell him we claimed each other?”

 

“Of course.”  He knew it would give Dean a small distraction from the monotony of a rut without a Mate.  He also missed hanging out with his big brother.  He was worried about him, every time he saw Dean, especially after their ruts, he would seem a bit more reserved, a bit more unsure of himself.  Like every rut would take a small piece out of his fun, loving, caring, sarcastic as hell brother.

 

 After a few more minutes lazily kissing and nuzzling each other, the couple got up and set about their day.  Once Sam was showered, dressed and fed he phoned his brother.  Dean picked up on the fourth ring, Dean sounded terrible.  They arranged to meet that afternoon in their favourite diner, ‘Roadhouse Diner’. 

 

Dean was already sitting in the booth they always picked when Sam arrived.  Dean was looking tired, worn out, and was sporting a new bruise under his eye and a small cut along his cheek.  “Was that him again?”  Sam was already curling his fingers into fists as he sat down.

 

“Sam just leave it.  Yesterday’s news.  I don’t wanna talk about it ok?”

 

“Dean, you can’t just-“

 

“SAM!  I said drop it!  I don’t need another lecture.  Please.”  Dean’s voice trailed off quietly.  Sam’s heart sank to his boots, Dean didn’t look like the full of life, happy go lucky Alpha that he was when they were younger, even just before Sam moved out.  Although he had his dark moments Dean was always happy with his life.  Sam could tell the poison that was John Winchester was slowly draining the life out of his brother.

 

“Ok! Ok!  Well, I have some news.”  Sam changed the subject to better topics than John – fucking – Winchester.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“yeah!”  Sam pulled the collar of his shirt down to show the shallow but still defined bite mark just above his collar bone.  “Last night, we made it all official, me and Jess claimed each other.”  Sam couldn’t help but let a huge grin spread across his face.

 

“No Shit!  Congratulations dude!”  As if a flip had been switched Dean was up on his feet leaning across the table pulling his little brother in for a huge bear hug.  He also had a huge grin on his face.  His face had changed completely.  His love for his brother was all he needed to be reminded how good his life really was, despite the things his Dad said to him, he had a brother who loved him and now a sister-in-law who was already family.  He had people who loved him and that warmed up the space that this morning was feeling so hollow and cold.  “Where is she?!”

 

“She had some errands to run, will I call her?  See if she wants to come down?”

 

“Hell yeah!  I’ll get the celebratory pie!”  By the time Jess had arrived, Dean had eaten both his and her servings of apple pie.  Sam was laughing at him, telling Jess the dramatic story of how he managed to get his serving of pie without losing his hand.  Within minutes they were all laughing together.  They all shared a friendship that was so easy and filled with joy, comfort and relentless teasing of Sam’s ever growing hair.  It gave Dean the confidence to confide in his two best friends.  “Guys I also have some news...  I met someone...”  He let the words out carefully, letting the complexity of the situation colour his words.

 

“Dean!  Is she...?”  Sam left the question unfinished, Dean was already shaking his head. 

 

“She’s not my True Mate.  My god how I wish she was.  Her Mate died in the war.  She was upset.  She was having a bad day, I helped her.  We talked for a while, well actually we talked for a long time.  We are meeting for coffee after.”  Dean was nervously twirling a teaspoon in his fingers, awaiting their reactions.

 

“Dean, that’s great.  But can I ask why?  If you know she’s not your mate...”  Sam struggled with the thought of an unmated Omega using his brother to help around the house, fix her car.

 

A heavy sighed escaped from Dean.  He couldn’t hide his true motivations from his brother.  “I can’t go through another month without someone.  I mean, the pain, I can bear, but I can’t...  Dad...  I can’t, I _won’t_ go through that again.”  Dean knew he was taking a monumental risk.  If things didn’t work out with Lisa, his Dad would know he lied and the consequences weren’t to bear thinking about but he needed to start separating himself from his dad.  No matter how hard Dean tried, nothing was ever good enough for John Winchester and Dean was getting tired of the constant put downs.

 

“Dean, we are here for you if you need us.  You know that.  We will support you any way we can.”  Sam gave his brother a slightly watery-eyed smile.  He was glad Dean had finally decided to leave Dad.  He was also heartbroken that it’s taken months of abuse to push him to that conclusion.

 

The subject was again brought back to happier topics and the three sat there talking, laughing, joking until the night fell and they went their separate ways, Sam and Jess heading off to their shared apartment, Dean heading off to Lisa’s for another coffee.  Dean approached when a sickening thought hit him.  He was using this poor woman to fill a gap in his life.  He was depending on her when she herself was struggling.  It made him nearly run away from the house, he would have if Lisa wasn’t already opening the door to meet him on the porch.  “Dean.” She sighed, with what sounded like relief.

 

“Hey, Lisa.”  She stepped out the way to let him in the house.  They sat down together on the sofa and talked about everything under the sun, from her son, Ben, to movies, music and Dean’s love of cars.  Lisa had the ability to peel back all the outer layers of Dean’s protective shell; she managed to get him to talk about his father, the beatings, the abuse.  She comforted him and told of her own trials and tribulations.  That when the conversation started turning towards a plan.

 

“Dean, we are both white knuckling it here.  I know we aren’t perfect for each other, I think we can make this work, if you want it to.”

 

“Lisa I don’t think I can take advantage of you like that.  Your Mate... I could never replace him.  I mean, unless you want me to, you know...” Dean didn’t finish his sentence the guilt and the self hatred of the idea he was about to use this woman to put on a fake show for his Dad.  It was unnatural and Dean hated the thought.  He felt a hand gently lift his chin until he was facing large, kind hazel eyes.

 

“I _f there's_  some  _rule_  that says this all has to be either/or, how about we break it? Me and  _Ben_  will be here, and you come when you can?  We act like we are together, we can enjoy the perks of being together, I have a veil of Alpha that keeps the town’s creeps away and you have an Omega you can show off to your father.”  Dean agreed to the offer and so started their relationship, part genuine affection for each other, part sham for mutual benefits.  It _was_ unnatural, but it worked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "I'm changing everything cos you won't be there for me!"
> 
> "I Don't Care" by Apocolyptica

John Winchester couldn’t remember life before the Alpha Army and fighting against the Pale-Ones.  He had joined the army in order to protect his True Mate, Mary and their two sons, Dean and Sam.  Dean was just turning six at the time and hung on every word John said.  Sam was a very pewny looking, chubby two year old who followed his brother around like a lost puppy.  John’s life was perfect, he had a loving family complete with two string boys who were destined to carry on the bloodline as Alphas.

 

John fought on the front lines against the blood thirsty Pale- Ones for three years, working his way up to Lieutenant, when the news came.  Mary Winchester had been murdered in their family home, reports said a fire was deliberately set; Mary had been unable to escape.  The only saving grace was that the boys had gotten out unscathed.  Dean had saved Sam and ran outside before the house had been engulfed in the inferno.  The evidence pointed towards a Sire who had been ordered to put a hit on Mary in response to a raid on a Pale-One strong hold, spear headed by John.  From then on he was never the same, the loss of his True Mate nearly killed him.  He had become obsessed with finding the _thing_ that killed his wife.  He was removed from the frontline and given a part time desk job in logistics so he could raise his sons.  He spent his spare time and many hours at work searching for clues for the identity of Mary’s killer.  After another week with no progress and no leads, John would often take a bottle of Jack and drink until he forgot who he was, and how he failed to protect his True Mate.

 

During John’s drunken stupors, he often forgot about his two young boys.  Dean learned quickly he was responsible for little Sammy and that when Dad started drinking that yucky yellow stuff it was best to keep quiet and keep out of the way.  John would wake up in a haze to find Dean was heating beans up on the cooker of was reading Sam.  It hurt John to think that his eldest son had to bring up his little brother, but mostly John’s head hurt more and he would vow to himself, he would never drink again, he would do more for his sons, he would raise them right.  That sentiment would last until the next fruitless week and the numbing effect of his buddies, John, Jack or Jose was too tempting to resist. 

 

John picked himself out of the daydream he was having, he often remembered portions of that horrific part of his life.  He had managed to get himself sorted, to a degree.   Once the boys had started high school, John increased his hours at work and found himself focussing on work and only looking for his wife’s killer to scratch the permanent itch that had been there since the day of her death.  He managed to patch things up with his kids, mostly.  Dean was always more forgiving then Sam.   He and Sam were never going to be the closest father-son combination but John had accepted this.  He was thrilled that both of his sons had presented as Alphas, as expected.  Sam had managed to find his True Mate with relative ease  It was surely just a matter of time before Jess would be claimed and he would be a grandfather to lots of little Winchester pups, hopefully lots of little boy pups who would grow up and present as Alphas to continue the lineage. 

 

Because John was a purebred Alpha, his sons were guaranteed to present Alpha.  If Mary had given him a girl, she would definitely present as Omega.  He was genetically designed to produce children most likely to reproduce, thus continuing the bloodline.  If only his eldest son, Dean was a bit more focussed in life he might have found his True mate too.  As it was Dean was suffering needlessly with the intense ruts that came with a mate to help the pain.  John knew he was a tad harsh on his eldest son sometimes.  Occasionally, John admitted to himself he could have behaved better at times around his son but really, the whole driving into parked cars thing was an accident!  John firmly placed the blame on the owner’s dud parking skill.  The fact Dean had got fired must have meant his son, once again, wasn’t very good at his job, disappointing, but there was nothing he could do.  John tried to get both his son’s into the family business, his father and his grandfather and a whole line of Winchesters were represented in the Army.  John despaired when neither his sons willingly joined up.  Sam seemed to think he was above such a living, having notions of being a lawyer, despite the lack of college fund.  Dean was just as bad, he started working as a mechanic in town, saying he didn’t like the idea of being a ‘mindless soldier with no free will,’ Dean got a fair talking to after that little outburst.  His thoughts were disrupted by a knock at his office door.

 

“Sir, Colonel Azazel wants to see you.”  Meg, Azazel’s assistant announced happily.

 

“Ok thank you Meg.  I’ll be along in a second.”  John stood and straightened out his uniform.  He felt just as much of a solder as he did when he first joined the Army, although being in the Army had lead to the death of his wife, the Army also helped him survive.  They reduced his working hours so he could look after the boys whilst giving himself time to heal.  They had welcomed him with open arms into the logistics division when he was ready to increase his working hours.  He owed the Army everything he had.  What John was completely oblivious to, was that the Army was willing to take everything he had.  EVERYTHING.

 

John marched to his Colonel’s office and knocked on the door.  He entered when given permission.  “You wanted to see me sir?”

 

“Yes.  Lieutenant Winchester, right?  Have a seat, at ease.”   John took a seat in the simple, slightly uncomfortable chair on one side of the desk.  The Colonel sat in his large, padded chair on the other side.  “How are you finding Logistics?”

 

“It’s good Sir, no complaints here!”  It was true, John did well at his work, he prided himself on it.

 

“I noticed you are exceeding all standards set, how would you feel about a bit more responsibility, a bit more money even?”

 

“Absolutely Sir! Which Department!?”  John was pleased; finally he might have some news to make his youngest son respect him more. 

 

“That’s classified at the moment.  We do want you n our team though.  There is just one small thing we need.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Your sons, are they in the Army yet?”  Colonel Azazel seemed to change the subject quickly, it made John sit up in surprise.

 

“Er.  No.  My eldest, Dean, is a no good lay about and my youngest, Sam, well he’s thinking about college and is in the process of shacking up with his Mate.”  John preened whilst he boasted about the achievements of his youngest son.

 

“Well you see John,” Azazel’s tone changed, something more desperate leaking through, “we are running Low on Alphas and we need all hands on deck for a final push.  Shove the Pale Bastards into extinction.  We just need every Alpha for up to six months.  That’s all.  You will hardly miss them!”

 

“Wouldn’t it be better if I was there fighting?” 

 

“Ah no John, I need you here.  You will be information gathering, you will be our expert, far too valuable to put on the field.”

 

“Well, let me speak to my son’s you will have my son’s application’s in the week.”

 

“That’s why I know you are the best man for the job, Winchester.”  John stood, saluted his senior and marched himself out of the office, pleased at the talk with his supervisor.  It was about dam time he got credit for his years of serving.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and feedback! Thoughts are always appreciated!
> 
> "I promise if you’re with me, say the word and we’ll find a way  
> I can be your lost boy, your last chance  
> Your "everything better" plan"
> 
> "Somewhere in Neverland" by All Time Low

Chapter 4         

 

                Lisa and Dean had been going out for a couple of weeks and things were awesome.  Dean had relaxed into the relationship, the guilt and self-loathing gradually ebbed away.  He saw how happy his girlfriend was, she carried a smell of Alpha that he regularly topped up with regular scenting, allowing her to continue her life without the creepy Alphas of the world attempting to claim her.  Dean spent many nights at her house, she would make him a half decent, warm meal whilst he taught Ben about cars, helped him with his homework and generally helped about the house.  He did the manly jobs, from the easy tasks like changing light bulbs to the more complex, like trying to fix the damn car once and for all.  It filled Dean with a sense of worth, he was helping! 

 

                The only thing Dean would change was the fact that deep, deep down, he knew there was a gap.  A small hole that nagged with emptiness and longing.  He was craving someone he had never even met.  He knew there was someone out there made for him and Dean had no idea where to look.  He felt lost, like he was floating aimlessly through life.   Dean forced that thought from his mind and thanked his lucky stars he found Lisa, so he could at least share part of his life with her.  He crossed the room to where she was cooking and scented her, breathing in her scent and covering her with his own as he exhaled down her neck and onto her shoulder.  She smelled so good, like rain on a summer’s day, like fresh snow on Christmas.  He wrapped his arms around her and swayed her from side to side.  It hurt something deep down within him, but it was a hurt he could live with.  He would take that background nagging pain over the sharp pain of new bruises and split lips.  He found an odd comfort in that dull pain.  Every time he smelled Lisa’s scent he would revel in the ache.  He felt her gentle laugh on his chest.  He turned her round and gave her a long kiss.  He released her and frowned as her face turned serious.   “Dean, I was thinking...”

 

                “Yeah?”  Dean tried to school his face to an expression of indifference.  She was breaking it off.  Dad was going to be furious; Dean already told him about Lisa, now there will be shit to pay.  It was all he could do to stand there and be dumped gracefully.

 

                “Yeah I was wondering, and you can say no if you want, um, you’re here so much, you’ve stayed over a couple times, Ben really likes you, do you want to move in?”  Lisa looked at him from under her eyelashes.

 

                “You want _me_ to move in?”  Dean now had to work to stop his mouth falling to the floor.  At the same time his heart gave a small flutter of happiness.  This was his way out!  Away from Dad. 

 

                “Yeah, of course!  Look I know it isn’t perfect.  I know you have issues with your dad, I know I’m not your True Mate.  I know your True Mate might walk around the corner tomorrow, a week, whatever.  I don’t care!  Lets grab this NOW and screw the consequences.  I love having you around!  I know you don’t like the idea but I’m going to have to meet your father at some point _aaand_ I still want to meet Jess.”  Lisa wanted Dean to know how serious she was about becoming part of his family.  It scared her, she knew Dean could meet his True mate at any time but she was willing to risk it for him.  Her life was a constant struggle without Don, her True Mate.  Between working, raising Ben alone and having the house was hard enough.  Then Don’s scent eventually wore off which made her vulnerable to some of the less desirable Alphas in the area.  She was scared for her safety on occasion outside, especially at night.  With Dean around he helped mask her unmated scent.    He had come out of his shell so much since she had known him,  she was under no illusions that she whatever they had was temporary, it could last two weeks it could last two years, and though she could never give Dean her heart the way that she had with Don, she could appreciate him and make him feel wanted. 

 

                “Lisa, YES!  I don’t know how to thank you.  What did I do to deserve such an awesome chick?” 

 

                “I’m sure we can work something out.”  Lisa gave him a suggestive wink as she turned back to dinner.  The rest of the evening was spent celebrating; they retired upstairs early to do so in peace without the chance of Ben walking in.

 

                A couple days later, Dean reluctantly agreed to let Lisa meet John whilst he packed up his few belongings.  He would have much rather they met at a diner but shock, John was running low on money and refused to let his son pay for his meal out.  Dean sighed as he let himself in.  He had tried to tidy up the day before, even dusted off the Vacuum cleaner to run it over the floor, only to have a few cans thrown at his head for interrupting the infomercial on the gun channel.  His dad’s behavior reinforced Dean’s resolve.  He was going to leave, once and for all.  Yes, it terrified him that one day he might get a call saying his Dad had died in the night, alone, but he couldn’t go on with the abuse.  As they walked in he shouted to announce his arrival, a wave of relief washed over him when he saw his Dad had at least showered and shaved.  “Dad, this is Lisa Braeden.  Lisa, this is my father, John Winchester.”

 

                “Pleasure to meet you, Sir.” Lisa bowed her head respectfully.  It made Dean feel protective over this Omega, he felt the whole submissive thing was stupid, there was no reason his girlfriend had to submit to his dad.

 

                “Wow, Dean you sure caught a good one, very polite!  Very respectful, I like her!”

 

                “Dad!!”  Dean shot him a warning look.  He grabbed up Lisa’s hand and squeezed, the return pressure he received helped to ground him.  He breathed out heavily.  “I have some news.  Lisa and I are moving in together.  She is my mate and I’m here to gather my stuff.  I’m leaving Dad.”  His words were rushed and didn’t sound as confident or as believable as they sounded when he practised this speech a thousand times over. 

 

                “Good.  I’m happy for you!  I’m glad you finally found your mate, I was starting to worry about you.”  John turned to his cabinet and poured himself a hefty measure.  He gestured to dean with the bottle as an offer.

 

                “No thanks, I have the car.  I’m picking up Ben later.”  Dean kicked himself at his mistake.  Ben wasn’t originally in this conversation.  Happily Lisa was ready with a story. 

               

                “Who the hell is Ben?!”

 

                “Ben is from another relationship.  I was with a Beta before.  We broke up a while back.  Then I found my Dean, my True Mate!”  Lisa had to think quickly to come up with a plausible story to explain the existence of her son, Lisa got the impression John was not a man who liked to be lied to so Lisa prayed for both their sakes that John bought the outright lie.  Don, her True Mate was full Alpha and had given her a strong soon to be Alpha, but John didn’t have to know that.  Dean gave a surprised look to the woman beside him, a look that John happily mistook for happiness.  Lisa’s quick thinking saved his ass, he wasn’t about to question it.

 

                “Well, it ain’t normal but it’s your life.”  John shrugged his shoulders.

 

                “Right, I’m going to grab my stuff.”  Dean walked through to his bedroom and gathered his few possessions.  His clothes, his photos of his mother, his phone charger and some CDs, that’s all he had to his name and it fit easily into a duffel bag.  When he returned to the living area, Lisa was smiling politely as John was talking about his soon to be promotion at work.  It was all he talked about these days.  “Ok that’s me.  Take care Dad, I’ll come in past sometime, Ok?”

 

                “Make sure you call first, I might be busy”

 

                “Fine Dad, see ya.”  Dean sighed relief when he got Lisa out of there.  “I’m sorry you had to suffer that,” Dean never wanted this innocent, beautiful woman to be associated with someone like John Winchester. 

 

                “It’s over Dean.  It’s ok,” Lisa new better than to play down Dean’s feelings towards his Dad, He still loved the man but John was a difficult man to like.  “Let’s go see Sam!”

 

                “Yeah!  They are meeting us as the ‘Roadhouse.’”  Dean perked up immediately.  He was excited for Lisa to meet Jess.  Lisa had already passed Sam’s lovingly embarrassing inquisition, he was a little bit in love with her too.  They drove to the diner where Jess and Sam were already nestled beside one another in their usual spot.

 

                “Hey guys!”  Sam jumped up and gave both Dean and Sam a big hug.  “Lisa, I would like you to meet Jess, my Mate.  Sam still beamed when he got to announce that.

 

                “Jess, hi!  I’m Lisa, lovely to finally meet you!”  The girls shared a hug and they clicked straight away, admiring each other’s shoes.  Dean and Sam both shrugged at each other and started talking about sports.

 

                Sam couldn’t help but smile at his brother whilst they talked.  The life had come back to Dean’s eyes and now, finally Dean was away from their father forever.  No longer would John Winchester make either of their lives miserable.  Although he wasn’t sure about Dean’s plan to begin with, it seemed to be working so far and Sam would never think to lecture his big brother on proper Alpha behaviour.  Under Lisa’s care, Dean was now free of bruises, of cuts, he had filled out a bit more.  Sam filed that away to tease Dean about later.

 

                The four of them talked for hours until Dean and Lisa left to pick up Ben from his friend’s house across town.  They left the diner but Dean couldn’t stop smiling.  His life was mostly complete.  There was still a gap, and it still hurt, but mostly complete was a hell of a lot better than the shithole of living with his Dad.  He felt content for the first time since his brother had moved out.

 

                A couple weeks later and gossip had spread about town that the eldest Winchester had moved out of his Dad’s house and that he was a damn good mechanic, within the month of moving away from home, Dean had his dream job working as a mechanic for Bobby Singer. His ‘uncle’ who had moved up from Sioux Falls.  Bobby taught him most of what he knew about cars growing up.  He was the one who got Dean the job at JJ’s mechanics.    Bobby and John never got on well but he was more than happy to offer Dean a position when he got away from John.  Bobby’s previous mechanic, Rufus, had become too lazy and moaned too much about his back.  Now mostly they sat together and complained about the world sitting on the porch.  Dean liked to make fun of the two old men comparing sciatica pain, called them an old married couple.  In truth he owed Bobby Singer a hell of a lot.

 

Dean felt like his life couldn’t possibly get any better, even when he did go to see his dad, he wasn’t being beaten, he was getting a handshake and a cold beer.  No longer did Dean fear he would enter the house, finding his dad dead choked on his own vomit of lying in his own mess, apparently this promotion agreed with him.  Things couldn’t be any better!  If life could be this way forever, Dean would be a happy man.

 


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "All of the months and the years that have gone by,  
> You never once could find the time to tell me why." 
> 
> "Caro Padre" - By Deaf Havana

The promotion was going well, John sat at his desk working away on paperwork for a logistics mission.  So far there was a bit more paperwork, a few more people working under him but overall John found it no bother.  The only issue he was having Colonel Azazel pestering him to get his son’s to enrol.  His desk phone rang, he rolled his eyes when he heard Azazel’s greeting.

 

                “Winchester, I need you in my office.  Now!!”

 

                “Yes, Sir.”  Azazel hung up and John made his way to his Boss’s office.  He knew what was coming and steeled himself for another argument.  He knocked on the door and entered with Azazel’s permission.

 

                “Winchester, how long have you been working in your new post?”  Azazel looked agitated, angry even.

 

                “A month or so Sir,”

 

                “Remember the small request I made of you, the promise you made me?”

 

                “I know, I promised my sons would enlist but, my eldest, Dean, he’s just began settling down with his true mate.  I figured we are winning the War at the moment, Dean should have time to make a family.”

 

                “John, John, John, we are not winning the war, we are losing at least as many Alphas as they are losing Sires.  We _need_ your sons to turn the tide.  There’s a nationwide recruitment drive.  If someone doesn’t do their bit to help the effort, we must think they are conspiring with the bloodsucking leeches!”

 

                “I’m sorry Sir, I’ll talk to them in the nest couple days.  They’ll enlist.”

 

                “I’ve heard that before John.  If you are losing your touch we might have to rethink your position.”

 

                “You’re going to demote me already?”

 

                “No.  Dishonourable discharge, if you’re lucky.  Sabotage could be put on a list of charges against you.”  Azazel glared at John from behind his desk, his yellowy-green eyes looked cold and dangerous.

 

                “You don’t have to do anything like that.  I’ll do it.  I’ll summon them to my office.  Just give me twenty four hours.”  John was panicking internally.   He didn’t have anything outside the Army.  His sons had all but left him, he needed this job.  It was how he validated himself.   He was going to have to do the worst thing a father could do to his son.  John pushed his mounting fear and anger down, he couldn’t mess up this opportunity.

 

                Dean was at work, underneath a car trying to find the culprit of the rattle it’s owner had described.  He was so content with life.  Bobby was a great boss, allowing him a couple days off when his rut hit again.  Bobby paid him a good wage for his work which meant Dean was starting to allow himself some luxuries in life, he was listening to his music through a new portable speaker system.  Bobby despaired when ACDC was blaring all day, every day Dean worked.  Bobby had become like a foster dad to Dean, allowing him to raid his fridge and eat all his food and drink all his beer at the end of a hard work day.  Dean even confided in the old man and told him about Lisa and their sham. 

 

                Dean nearly didn’t hear his phone ring over the rock music playing, he saw ‘Dad’ on the screen and jumped out from under the car to answer it, turning the volume down on the stereo.

 

                “Hey Dad, what’s up?”

 

                “Dean, I need you and your brother to come meet me in my office I have to speak with you, in person.”

 

                “I’m at work Dad, I can’t just drop everything.”

 

                “Tell that bastard Bobby Singer your FATHER needs to see you.  It’s urgent.”  Dean winced at the inferred insult, Dean didn’t hide his love for Bobby, much to John’s annoyance.  “And get your dam brother here too.  He won’t do anything I ask.  Ungrateful shit!”

 

                Dean sighed.  “Fine.  Dad.  I’ll be there.”  Something bubbled up to the surface as soon as John turned hostile, Dean almost immediately reverted back to the meek boy who would do anything for his Dad, almost.  On the other hand his Alpha instincts riled against being spoken to in such a manner.  He seemed the more independence he took for himself; the less he hung on every word his Dad said, the better he felt.  No longer would he allow his dad to brain wash him into thinking he was worthless.   He felt a wave of freedom wash over him.  He was going to sever some of the toxic bonds that held him and John so close together.   He was just about to call Sam when his brother rounded the corner looking concerned. 

 

                “Did he call you too?”  Sam looked as if he’d been running.

 

                “Yeah, wants us to meet him at his offices.”

 

                “Are you going?”

 

                “Well, yeah.  Arn’t you?”  Dean sent a questioning look to his brother, the two of them were infamous at arguing the whole time.  Sam never forgave John for his actions after Mary died.

 

                “No.  You shouldn’t either, you got away from him.  You’re doing so well!”

 

                “He’s alright now.  I’m going, he at least gets a chance to say what he wants.  You comin’?”

 

                “No.”

 

                “But it was an order from Dad.”

 

                “I.  Don’t.  Care.”

 

                “Fine Sammy, do what you want.”  Dean tidied his stuff away and explained the situation to Bobby, who reluctantly agreed to let him have the afternoon off. 

 

Sam stood and watched his brother move around the space.  At just the mention of John in a bad mood had Dean curling his shoulders in, trying to make himself smaller.  Sam wanted to shout and scream at Dean not to go, he would have if he thought it would help.  There was something about the edge in his father’s voice that had Sam’s gut worried.  Nothing good was going to come of Dean visiting their dad.  As Dean climbed into his car, his beloved Chevy Impala, Sam gave it one last ditch effort to persuade his brother.  “Don’t go Dean, Please?”

 

“Sorry Sammy.”  Sam saw the hopeless look on Dean’s face.  He was following John’s orders out of misplaced loyalty rather than any form of love.  It made Sam want to shake his brother!  Sam grumpily started to stride home.  Worrying his bottom lip as he went, what could their father possibly want?  It was a matter of minutes until Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket and found his brother’s name in the contacts list.

 

“Can you come pick me up?”

 

The boys pulled up outside the gates to the military base.  They passed through security with little problem.  They were guided up to John’s office, he shouted for them to enter.  He didn’t even stand to greet them, only motioned to the two small chairs on the other side of the desk.  Sam and Dean sat silently, trying to assess their father’s mood.

 

“Hey boys.  You must be wondering why I asked you here.”

 

“You weren’t exactly forthcoming on the phone, Dad.”  Sam pointed out, there was an edge to Sam’s voice that signalled his anger.  Dean winced beside him.

 

“Yes well never mind that.  As you well know, there is a great War raging in the north.  The sires are on the back foot and we just need one last push to eradicate the problem-“

 

“A great war?  Dad it’s an annihilation of another species.  They  are targeted because they have different mating rituals!  It’s ridiculous!  You know how I feel about your ‘Great War’”

 

“They are blood Sucking freaks who need to be put down!  Don’t forget it was one of them that killed you Mom!”

 

“Blood sucking freaks?!  Their mating ritual requires a blood swap.  It’s no worse than being stuck inside someone by your genitals and biting them!”  Sam was now shouting.  Dean looked at his brother with wide eyes.  No one spoke to Dad like that.  “The reason Mom was killed was because of this stupid war in the first place.  It would have never happened if you hadn’t joined!”

 

“you little SHIT!  You have no right to speak to me like that!”  John was furious.  It took all he had to stop from launching across the desk and tackling his son to the floor. 

 

“Guys, this isn’t why we are all here I’m sure.  Dad, why are we here?”  The other two men looked at Dean.  He didn’t look like a proud Alpha.  He was practically cowering within his chair.

 

“You’re right Dean.  The Sires are losing but they are getting desperate and messy and we need more Alphas to push them back.  There’s a nationwide recruitment drive.”  John looked at them expectantly.  Sam was the one to pipe up.

 

“So?  I’m not joining an army for a cause I disagree with.  You can forget it!”  Sam stood up to leave.

 

“What about you Dean?  Will you step up and be a man, secure a safe future with Lisa?”  John knew exactly where to apply the right pressure, or so he thought. 

 

“No. Dad.  I need to be there for them, closer to home.”  Dean found some resolve.  He wasn’t going to sacrifice his whole, newly built, life just to please his dad for the first time, Dean felt the freedom that came with shedding those unhealthy bonds to his father.  Dean joined his brother in standing.

 

“Boys, I won’t ask again nicely.”  John threatened

 

“See you later Dad.”  Dean waved half heartedly.

 

They were heading for the door of the office when they could feel a glare bore into their backs.  When John talked, his voice was subtly different, deeper, louder, more commanding.  “Sam and Dean Winchester, sit, the fuck, DOWN!”  John watched as his sons froze.  They looked at each other confused before returning to their seats.  “You WILL enlist.  You have no choice.  Its six month tours.  You will go through fast track training.  You WILL fight the Sires.  Ok?  Good.  Sign here.”  John produced two enlisting contracts.   There was a part of John that hated himself at that point.  Using his Paternal Alpha voice was something he swore he would never do.  John remembered the lack of will, the loss of control and the utter hopelessness that came with being under its influence.  His father used it regularly when John was young.  In order to have control over Alpha offspring, Paternal Alphas had the ability to control their Son’s actions with their voice.  Once the order was given, there was no getting out of it, unless the Paternal Alpha allowed it.  John fought with himself, he didn’t like what he was becoming but he couldn’t lose his standing in the Army, it was all he had.

 

“What the fuck is happening?”  Sam struggled in his seat but couldn’t find the will to stand.

 

“You’re an Alpha, one of the strongest creatures on earth.  The only thing stronger is an Alpha father.  You will bend to my will.  SIGN HERE!”  Dean found his hand lifting the pen and reaching for the contract.  His head felt heavy with the weight of the order, his legs had no movement to leave.  The only thing he could do was try to reason with his father.

 

“Please Dad, don’t do this!”  When his father remained silent Dean watched his own hand scribble his signature.  He knew exactly what was happening, it was in the Lore books, Alpha fathers controlling their sons with a voice that pulls submission from even the most unruly Alpha son.  All will and thought pours away, allowing the offspring  to complete the order with no further arguments.  Dean looked across to where Sam was looking murderously at their father, his copy was already signed.

 

“Thank you boys, you can leave now, someone will be around to pick you up tomorrow.  You WILL go with them.  Make your goodbyes quick.  Don’t be going home telling those omegas about our little chat.  Anyone asks, you volunteered.  Ok?”

“Yes sir.”  The boys muttered in unison.  They stood and left immediately, dazed and confused as to what just happened.  Their own father had forced them to enlist using some weird Alpha juju.  They drove in silence back to Sam’s house where Lisa and Jess were preparing dinner. 

 

“What are we going to tell them?”  Dean asked.  He cursed his father.  His perfect little bubble of happiness only lasted a couple months and it had been stripped away within a matter of minutes.  It was all so unfair.

 

“The truth.  Dad’s not here, maybe the thing doesn’t work.”  Sam grimly got out of the car and strode inside, Dean following a couple seconds behind.

 

Jess and Lisa were sitting on the sofa when the brothers entered, the Alphas immediately went to their respective Omega women and sat next to them.  They explained the phone calls from their dad and the exchange in the office.  “Wait he wants you to enlist?  Surely you didn’t _have_ he can’t force you.”  Jess was incredulous, he knew Sam’s view of the war.

 

“I volunteered to join.  No!!  I volunteered! Fuck!!  I VOLUNTEERED!!!”  Sam couldn’t stop the words from coming out.  He wanted to tell his mate the whole story but the words fell out were all wrong, John’s Paternal Alpha power restricting Sam from divulging his betrayal.

 

“Ok I’m sorry, I just didn’t think you would.”  Jess was looking worried and, for the first time looked like a meek omega, ready to submit to her Alpha.  It was something Sam never wanted to see.  It made him hate himself for putting that expression on Jess’s face.

 

“I’m so sorry Jess!”  Sam took her hand and rubbed it reassuringly, kissing her knuckles.  Her scared look faded to one of confusion.  She didn’t question him any further.

 

“Our father had some compelling arguments.  We had to sign up.”  Dean could see the struggle his brother had to go against their dad’s wishes.  His whole body felt heavy with the weight of it.  Lisa simply nodded, tear flowing steadily down her cheeks.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t want you to have to worry like that again.”

 

“When do you leave?”  Lisa’s voice was cracked with emotion.

 

“Tomorrow.”  Dean all but whispered.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "The sun don't shine but, it never did. And when it rains it fucking pours."
> 
> "Doomed" by Bring Me The Horizon

Basic training was hard.  The boys were constantly exhausted, mostly hungry and nearly always homesick.  They regularly cursed their father for sending them to this godforsaken pit.  The beds were uncomfortable, the schedule was gruelling and, for Dean especially, the punishments for breaking ranks were often.  Dean often found himself running laps of the training field, or doing an exercise with extra weight in his pack to ‘remind him of the weight of his actions.’  He tried his best to keep Sam out of the line of fire but he and Sam often were caught together, trying to score extra food or breaking ranks to help a fellow soldier who had fallen.  They were once caught trying to leave, that had warranted forty eight hours in solitary with limited rations.  So desperate was the frontline for recruits, they were never court marshalled. 

 

Their frequent brush with the law meant the boys were well acquainted with Colonel Alastair.  He was a wiry type of man with a long, sneering face and a voice that could creep out even the toughest of souls.  He was in charge of punishments which were sometimes very creative.  They were in the training field, Sam and Dean attempted to lighten the mood in camp with friendly competitions with each other, turning the purgatory of basic training into something slightly less monotonous.   They were running sprints adn other fitness drills Dean had coaxed Sam into a competition into who could complete their drill fasted,

 

“Oooohh, Sammy, three seconds slower!  I am owning your ass today!”

 

“C’mon Dean that’s not fair I was on fake sentry duty last night, I've had like three hours sleep.”

 

“Ahh you just don’t like being bested by your big bro, even though your taller I will still be the only person who can legitimately kick your ass!”  Dean was smiling, Sam looked tired but teasing him was one way of keeping Sam’s mind busy and away from home.  Dean tuned to grab his canteen of water when he came face to face with Colonel Alistair.  “Why Dean, you are in good spirits today, and Sam doesn’t look as depressed as usual, in fact everyone seems smitten with you Dean... Why is that?”

 

Dean never liked to be singled out, it usually meant something bad, his first reflex was, stupidly to make a joke.  “I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples, Sir.”  Dean cursed himself as soon as the words slipped out, he could practically hear Sam roll his eyes. 

 

“Dean, Dean, Dean, do you _really_ think that’s an appropriate way to speak to _me?_ ”  The fact that Alistair never yelled only made him more intimidating, he usually let his punishments do the talking.  “Go and get your rucksack Dean.”  Dean at least had the sense to wait until he had turned away from the colonel before rolling his eyes.  His rucksack already had five kilograms extra weight for the week as a separate punishment for a small infringement of dress code.  He brought it to Alistair, who filled it half full with rocks.  “twenty laps of the field, no one here gets dinner untill he finishes.”

 

Dean completed his laps of the field and that was supposedly the end of it.  Until, that night, Dean lay down, exhausted and aching, by lap twenty he thought his legs were going to collapse beneath him, Sam had to help him up into his bunk.   He noticed one of the bright spotlights was trained onto his bunk.  Because of the angle of the window, no one else seemed to be affected.  It was so bright he only got a couple hours of fitful sleep, waking up every time he turned in his bed.  He never mentioned it to anyone, he was already unpopular with the rest of the platoon for making them late for dinner, meaning there was less by the time other platoons had finished.  Every night, this went on for a week until Dean finally broke, completely ruined, aching and sleep deprived, he thought he was going insane, he was forced to apologise to the colonel.  Alistair had made sure everyone was lined up to hear him.

 

“Now come Dean, tell everyone what you just told me.”

 

I’m sorry, Sir.”  Dean’s jaw was twitching furiously, Alistair was clearly enjoying himself, revelling in Dean’s submission.

 

“Sorry for what Dean?”

 

“Last week, I spoke back you in an inappropriate manner Sir and as yet I haven’t properly apologised.  I apologise for my actions, they were disrespectful and rude.”  Dean made sure to speak loud enough that the entire company could hear him.  He was only going to say this once.  Alistair was a psycho who should never be in charge of other humans.

 

“Better.  But Winchester, remember this,”  Alistair spoke deathly quiet, so only Dean could hear him, “You are worthless,  I own you and right now I value this hit on my shoe more than I value you.  What are you?  Nice and loud again so everyone can hear you.” 

 

“I AM WORTHLESS SIR!”

 

“Good, Dismissed.”  Dean stood and willed the tears to keep from falling, he had been told many time he was worthless before, by his Dad.  But it was always when they were alone.  Dean had been reminded what he had been told his whole life, except it was in front of complete stranger, but worst of all, in front of Sam.  It was embarrassing and Dean kept his head down for a while after that. 

 

The darkest day at training was when Alistair found, and used, Dean’s weak spot against him.  They were out on exercise, marching through mud, rivers, bushes, everything.  Dean and Sam were striding through the rough terrain without much hassle.  One of the group however, was struggling.  Ron, an unlikely looking Alpha, was larger than would be useful in a war and was struggling with the pace.  He slipped and fell, twisting his ankle, everyone heard a sickening crack.  No one went to help Ron, except the Winchester brothers.

 

“C’mon lets go help.”  Sam whispered.

 

“Nah, no point both our asses getting into trouble you just stay here.  I’ll go.”  Dean started towards Ron.  Alistair happened to be the one in charge of the drill.  Dean avoided his gaze as he helped the larger man up off the ground.

 

“Private Winchester!  Fall back in line!”  It was a nasally command that sent shivers through Dean.

 

“Yes, Sir.  I will, Just as soon as I get Ron here back in line too!”  It took a lot of effort but Dean managed to arrange Ron So he could hop, using Dean as a crutch.  His ankle didn’t look broken but there was no way he was finishing the exercise without help.

 

“You will regret that Private!”  Alistair watched Dean struggle with Ron, they were nearly finished the drill and would head back to camp soon.  Happily, Dean thought, Alistair didn’t appear to be a total bastard.  He called the Medicart up and had Ron stretchered away.  When they arrived back at camp Dean could feel nausea rising in his stomach with the look on Alistair’s face.  He was wrong, Alistair was a complete fucking bastard.  “Private Winchester.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Dean stepped forward to receive his punishment.

 

“Not you _Dean_.  Private _S_ Winchester.”  Dean looked his superior straight in the eye.  A pang of fear and regret flashed through Dean’s eyes before he could control it.  Alistair had figured how to really hurt Dean, through his brother.

 

“Private.  Forty eight hours in solitary, only water and a third of rations for you and you must run five laps of the field, every four hours.  If _any_ one,” Alistair shot a pointed look at Dean, “tries to help you _when_ you fall.  You will have to start your five laps again.”

 

“Yes, Sir.”  Sam was visibly shaking but didn’t want to make anything worse.  He was taken immediately to solitary. 

 

Dean was shaking with rage.  He really fucked up this time, and it was Sam who was paying the price.  He cursed himself, he screwed up.  He hastily swallowed his rations and went outside to watch Sam do his laps, he might not be able to help but he can be there for his brother.  He stayed up all night and the next, watching Sam as he ran, even in the small hours of the night.  On the second night, it took everything Dean had to keep himself from running out to his brother when he fell.  The exhaustion in Sam’s facial expression was impossible to miss.  The silhouette against a blind spot was also impossible to miss.  He saw Alistair watching Dean with interest; again it sent a shiver through Dean.

 

When Sam was released from solitary, Dean met him and bundled him into his arms and took him back to his bunk.  Sam was physically exhausted; he already looked thinner than he did two days ago.  All Dean had was what he had managed to squirrel away at breakfast, a couple of bread rolls and an extra cup of coffee which was now cold.  Sam took it all within minutes but was asleep for the rest of the day.  For the last weeks of basic training, Dean was made into the perfect soldier, he never spoke back, he followed orders to a tee and he NEVER broke rank.  Never again was Sam hurt because of Dean’s reckless actions.  Dean made sure of that.

 


	8. Letter to Lisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment of (if you like what you read) Kudos. :)
> 
>  
> 
> "I would do anything for another minute with you, cos it's not getting easier"
> 
> "Folding Stars" By Biffy Clyro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of mushy stuff...

_“Dear Lisa._

_You know, I’m sitting here, trying to think what the hell I should say.  Sam’s probably got a poem or some chick flick crap in his letter to Jess.  I miss you and Ben.  I want to be there so I can smell you again, protect you.  I miss your cooking!  Gaoddam_ _n chef here doesn’t know his beef from his broccoli!_

_The War is tough but we are pushing those blood suckers back._

_Seriously though, I can’t wait until I’m there beside you.  You make me feel real.  I’ll be home soon_ _._

_Your pain in the ass,_

_Dean.”_

 


	9. Letter to Jess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> "God only knows what I'd be with out you." 
> 
> God Only Knows" By The Beach Boys

_“Dear Jess._

_Words cannot describe what being away from you is doing to me.  I miss you so much.  I feel like my heart is being pulled from my chest.  Every time I think of you I ache.  When I’m not around you it feels like I can’t breathe.  I WILL make it back to you after this ridiculous war is finished.  Believe in that.  We have successfully all but made the Sires and their race extinct.  Well done us._

_I’m sorry.  I don’t want you to think about me here.  I want you to start planning our wedding!  We should have a huge party to celebrate!  I know when I claimed you I made it official but we never really got a proper celebration in before all this mess started.  I want you to start planning out our whole future, it’s going to be a long one.  I PROMISE.  NOTHING will ever keep you away from me ever again._

_I will love all of you with all I have, for all of time._

_Yours_

_Sam_ _.”_

 


	10. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "Brother in arms  
> Together we, spill our blood, on foreign streets  
> Worlds apart, and in too deep, my brother in arms"
> 
> "Brother In Arms" by Young Guns

Fighting on the front line was actually a step up from basic training.  They had more rations, they didn’t have to put up with Colonel Alistair and the weather was warm and dry.  Three months into their tour and they were in the north west and pushing the Sire resistance further back, which mostly included raids on Sire hotspots and watching the survivors run or drive away.  It was all going well, the boys had sent a couple of letters to their Omega’s back home and had received a couple back.  Dean relaxed somewhat since they left basic training and Alistair but he still was nervous around authority and never risked not following an order.  The boys had become friends with the rest of their brigade and had been unofficially elected as the two leaders.  Encouraging the troop when morale was low and singing the loudest when morale was high.  It was going to plan, the enemy were erratic and often tried to attack at night.  Many of the men had taken to sleeping in combat gear, the brothers included.  They both took extra precautions too, keeping small blades tucked into the inside of their boots, nothing that would be found during a rushed frisk.  It was all going well until, one night, the boys were awoken to the shouts of their fellow men.  Over and above the shouting there was one voice closer, in their face, it was a woman’s voice.

 

“HEY!!  YOU TWO!!  PRETTY BOYS!!  GET UP!!!”

 

“What the hell is going on?!”  Dean opened his eyes to appraise the scene before him, his sleepy dazed moment not providing him with enough information to alert him to the danger near.  He saw the rest of his company kneeling in a line, on the floor, guns pointed to the back of their heads.  Many of the men looked on blankly, a few looked scared, Ron was quivering in his boots.

 

“Come with us or the rest of them pay for your stubbornness.”  Dean raised his head and saw guns trained on him.  He looked around to Sam who was sitting on his bed, guns on him too.  Dean stiffened when he saw his brother in danger, there was nothing he could do.  They were trapped. No way out.

 

“What do you want?”  Dean asked, avoiding eye contact in case they took it the wrong way. 

 

"Just you two.  We have questions for you.  If you come with us, we will leave the rest of your precious Alpha buddies.  You try run away, everyone dies.”

 

“Fine, just let them be.”  Sam’s voice was low, breaking with emotion.  All Dean could do was stare at his brother’s back.  He watched as they gestured for him stand, he turned willingly and put his hands behind his back where one of the Sire soldiers Zip-tied his hands together.  Sam shot Dean a helpless, distraught look before a cloth hood was put in place.  Dean felt the nose of a gun prod him between the shoulders, signalling to get up.  He mimicked his brother’s actions, he worked hard to keep his breathing regular when the hood sealed off his vision.  After a brief search, he was led away to a truck, Dean presumed, as he was unceremoniously pushed into a seated position.  He didn’t dare ask if his brother was near.  He sat, hands bound behind him uncomfortably for what felt like days, but could have only been hours until they eventually came to a stop. 

 

Dean was then led somewhere, deeper into the camp.  Ankle cuffs were  locked into place, just above his boots, soft clinking of chains rattled between his feet.  Dean had to work hard to control his breathing.  He was pushed up against a post, it felt like wood, as this information was processed, hands were coving him pushing his face and chest into the post.  He felt the zip-ties being cut, before he could move to pull his wrists free, his arms were seized and held painfully away from his body, behind his back, his left shoulder felt like it was going to pop out of place with the pressure.  Slowly, and with an iron grip around his arms, his wrists were raised above his head, manacle like cuffs attached.  The way he was tied, facing the post, he had to use his arms to pull against the bonds to give himself balance.  It hurt and he wouldn’t be able to hold himself up indefinitely.  The hood was removed and Dean had to blink a couple of times to adjust to the morning light.  When his vision focused he could see he was cuffed to a whipping post.  Dean wondered what kind of backwards, old fashioned army uses a damn whipping post these days.  He looked around, in search of his brother, he was nowhere to be seen.  This caused Dean to test the strength of his bonds, infuriatingly, they were strong and withstood his flailing.  “Where’s the other guy?”  Dean didn’t want them to be aware that they happened to be brothers.  Dean knew it would be used against them.  He spoke to no one in particular, the woman from the camp responded, she had bright, orange hair, pinned into a pony tail.  Her lips were a bright shade of red and her eyes were cold, sharp green eyes.  Her voice was sultry but held a threat behind it. 

 

“Hey there beautiful, I have some questions for you, I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Yeah, I mind!!  I have questions too you know.  Why didn’t you just kill us?!  You had us all trapped, would have been easy enough.”

 

“Well, you try torturing thirty odd people at the same time for information.  It gets messy, and hardly any answers.  Much easier to cherry pick the most important ones, they know all the best secrets.”

 

“And what makes you think I’m important?”  Dean hung his head, he has been asking people that his whole life, not in so many words but the question always hovered in the back of his mind. 

 

“They way your men looked to you when they were woken, every single one looked to you or the other one.”

 

“Yeah?  Well I know nothin’ so you’re wasting your time here sister.”  Dean tried to make his voice sound sarcastic, trying to cover the fear stabbing his gut like a white hot poker.  He attempted to get his legs more underneath him to release the pressure on his arms but the chains connecting his ankles to the post were too short. 

 

“Ok, I’m bored of talking.  Where are you planning on hitting next?”

 

“You think we get told that kind of thing?  C’mon.”

 

“Fine.”  Something in the ginger woman’s eyes went dark.  It sent a wave of fear through Dean.  “We’ll aim lower, What blood line are you from?”

 

“What?”  Dean tried to turn and look at the woman, his bonds stopping him getting very far.

 

“Easy enough question, what blood line are you from?”

 

“Nugent, my name is Ted Nugent.  The Nugent blood line, from San Diageo.”  Dean gave a fake name in case Sam has told him his true name.  He had to believe Sam was alive, and at best that they would leave him tied up somewhere, unhurt.

 

“Why don’t I believe you.  Someone check for Dog tags!”  The woman was looking over Dean’s body with an expression which fuelled his unease whilst one of her minions dug his hand under his jacket and t-shirt, pulling out his tags, exposing his real identity.   He watched as his tags were taken from him and given to the woman.  Dean couldn’t see her expression, he didn’t see her eyes widen with shock, he didn’t see her lips pull back in a cruel smile, he didn’t see her breathe a sigh of happiness.  All her heard was her command, “Leave him to stew in his own juices for a while, make sure there is juice for him to stew in!”  When her minion looked at her uncomprehending he heard and exasperated explanation, “The red kind!  Whip him until he bleeds, everyone can have a small taste but he needs to be alive by the end of the day though!”

 

Dean renewed his efforts against his bonds, he didn’t let up when his jacket and t-shirt was cut off his back.  He stood exposed, his muscles over his back rippling with effort, constantly trying to rid himself of his bonds.  When the first hit landed, he dug his toes into his boots, trying to gain more purchase.  The hits kept coming in a steady rhythm; he bit on his lip to stop the cries escaping.  When the hits escalated, he felt his skin split and the blood ooze out of the gashes running the length of his torso.  The only respite he got was when the whip was handed off to someone else, they would occasionally get talking between themselves, deciding how best to torture Dean.  They went from quick, sharp hits in the same spot to harder, deeper hits all over his back.  When he was still standing after what must have been hours, but felt like days, they upped the ante. The soldier started having competitions, who could hit the hardest, who could pull the biggest scream from Dean.  When one of the hits crossed an existing gash over his back, he couldn’t hold in the pain any longer and cried out.  From there the soldiers went to town with their games.  Dean only stopped writhing when the hits became too sore to bare.  Even his cries had reduced to whimpers, his left shoulder was definitely dislocated now.  He sagged down the post, now all his weight rested on his wrists, pulling the already damaged joint out of its socket.  Only when Dean had stilled did the torture stop.  He was left there, back exposed to the breeze, cooling the drying blood on his back.  Dean must have passed out with the pain, or the blood loss, for a long time.  When he woke, it was dark again.  He stood on his shaky legs; he tried to shrug his shoulders before he remembered his shoulder.  There was a sickening pop as it slid back into place, causing a searing, constant pain on top of the now dull ache over his back.

 

Sam sat and wondered if his brother was even alive.  He was sitting in a tent, strapped to a damn chair.  He was close enough that he could hear Dean maybe fifty yards away, the gag in his mouth stopping him from getting any words across.  He heard Deans sarcastic replies, to the cry in agony, to the whimpers of pain, to the eerie silence the rest of the day offered.  Sam would only hope Dean would be alive long enough for them to be reunited and escape.  No one had touched him so far, apart from being shoved into the chair.  As darkness fell once again a soldier came, untied his legs and led him over to where Sam could only just make out the shape of his brother, clinging to a wooden post to keep himself upright. He was covered in blood and long, deep cuts crisscrossed his back.  The boys exchanged a look, it was the look that held a whole conversation.  Sam silently pleading Dean not to take another beating for him, Dean wordlessly comforting Sam, saying it wasn’t as bad as it looks, even though Dean wasn’t sure he could stay conscious for much longer.

 

Sam was bound to another post, this time his hands were tied behind him, he had full vision of Dean’s marred back.  It made him feel sick.  “Who the hell are you?!” his voice wavered, his emotions betraying the confidence he was trying to put across.  Sam was already calculating a way out of this, but he needed to know who he up against.  He had to get back home to Jessica, even the thought of leaving her alone in this Earth left him blind with panic.  His heart already ached with the distance, how could anyone _volunteer_ for join the Army and leave their Mate?

 

 “My name is Abaddon.  I’m the head of this rebellion against you _mutts_ ,” Sam met her gaze and was met with a hard slap across his face.  “ You _Alphas_ just think you can over the world.  I mean... How dare you!”

 “We wanted nothing to do with this fight!  We aren’t here by choice.”  Sam reasoned, his voice trailing off at the end as he remembered the betrayal of their father that had landed them in this situation.  His response was returned with a fist to the face by one on the soldiers, flanking Abaddon.

 

“Shame.  That really sucks for you,”  another punch landed across Sam’s face.  “Cos you are going to die here because now, we are going to have a little fun!”  The flame haired woman teased. “What’s your name soldier?”  Sam stood there unspeaking; Abaddon growled, pulled a blade from her jacket pocket and cut Sam’s t-shirt from his chest.  “Last time I ask nice?!” 

 

Sam met her gaze once again.  She pushed the fabric away from his shoulder, she cut his along the bony edge until the blade hit the hard resistance of his collar bone.  Sam winced and tried to pull away.  The woman saw what she was looking for.  She sank the blade skin deep into Sam’s chest before moving her hand, and therefore the blade up to his neck where his tags were tucked down his back.  Sam growled at the pain slicing through his chest.   Abaddon pulled the tags round and studied them, her smile scared Sam, he worried for his life and for his Omega at home who would be left without her protector, without her Alpha.  The thought filled him with rage as he wrestled against his bonds.

 

The flame haired woman’s face was a mix of insanity, rage and pure ecstasy.  “Winchesters!!!  I caught me the two Winchester boys!!  Oh this is just too good!  Sorry boys, allow me to explain, John _Winchester_ was the soldier who killed all of my family.  It’s amazing what grief can do!!!  I wept, I got angry, I joined the army, I killed _many_ Alphas on my way to the top and now I’m here, leading this piss poor army and I’m losing!  The war is all but over!  But that’s ok!   Honestly, ‘cos now I am going to take everything John has and squash it!”  The madness in her eyes, only made her words a lot more terrifying.  Sam screamed in pain as his chest was slashed, stabbed and nicked.   Abaddon would vary her treatment, going from long, smooth strokes of her blade, to short nicks along Sam’s collar bone.  Just as Sam was getting used to the pain of one type of stabbing pain, she would change it up, eliciting another scream of pain from him.  Sam caught Dean protesting begging the woman to use him instead, his brother was knocked unconscious by a quick punch to quiet him.  Sam let the blackness curl into his vision as he passed out from the pain coursing through his body.  The last thing he saw was Abaddon shooting him a shining smile, exposing her sharpened teeth, her fangs, before striding away.  Leaving him contemplate his death. 

 

When the boys woke up, it was light again, the sun appeared high in the sky.  They were strapped to chairs ankles were zip-tied to the chair, arms were bound behind them.  Dean silently breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the side of Sam’s head looking round for him.  They were back to back, both on chairs, both bound by zip-ties.  They were inside a large tent.  It was bare, nothing inside it apart from a few large boxes.  Dean winced, his shoulder was out again, his shoulders were immobilised, he couldn’t get it back in.  His back was on fire from the flogging yesterday, he breathed his way through the pain as he struggled against his ties.

 

“Dean?”

 

"Yeah Sammy?”

 

“I _am_ going to get out of here.  I _am_ getting home.”

 

“Of course, we both are Sam.”  Dean started squirming in his chair.  He needed to get out of the goddamn zip-ties so he could reach his blade.  The stupid asshats missed it.  He could feel Sam doing the same, working his hands up and down one of the bars on the chair.  “Are your hands free yet?”

 

Sam felt the plastic snap after he had furiously rubbed against the sharp edge of one of the bars on the chair.  His chest ached where he stretched the broken skin to work off his ties around his wrists.  The pain was now a secondary thing, his number one focus was to get out of here, with his brother, and get home to his Omega.  “Yep, hang on.”  He reached down to his boot and pulled his small silver blade, cutting the zip-ties around his ankles.  Sam whipped around and made similar light work of Dean’s bonds.

 

“That’s my boy!”  Dean winced when his abused shoulder was freed, still sitting out of socket, “I’ve got a dislocated shoulder here!”

 

Sam rolled his eyes, “Ok I got you, on three, ready?  One!”  Sam yanked the bone back into place with a crunch, Dean just managed to hold in a yelp of pain.  He was trying to come up with the next step of their escape.  He had no idea where they were, let alone where the exit, the nearest road, where the Lychan’s base was.  That only left a very basic plan.  It was reckless, it was risky, it was the only plan he had.  “So what are you thinking?  Snatching a pair of Soldiers?”

 

“Getting their uniforms.”  Sam had a determined look on his face.  The brothers were on the same wave length, the plan already confirmed in both their heads.

 

“Grab a vehicle, a big one!”

 

“And drive like hell.”

 

“At least it ain’t complicated.”

 

“Shh!!  Someone’s coming!”  Sam returned to his seat and placed his hands behind his back, holding the small blade tightly.  He was going to have to be fast and make as little noise as possible. Two guards entered the tent.  Guns over their shoulders, they were moaning about pulling a graveyard shift ‘dog sitting,’ Sam rolled his eyes.  With a small tap against Dean’s chair behind him, he signalled to his brother that it was time to strike.  

 

“Hey! Asshat, c’mere!”  Dean beckoned.   One of the guards circled the boys and knelt beside Dean.  Dean held the man’s gaze and gave a small smirk from the corner of his mouth.  The guard gave him a hard slap across the face.  It should have stunned Dean, but he was expecting it.  The guard was caught off balance on his knees and Dean charged at him.  Simultaneously, Sam tacked the other guard.  A couple of effective punches later and the Sire guards were incapacitated.

 

“Shit!”  Dean looked at Sam’s chest, the struggle had opened up most of his wounds, he dreaded to think what his back looked like.  The pain was excruciating but they _had_ to plough forwards.

 

“Layer up, you’ll be fine, c’mon!”  Sam was already undressing the guard and pulling the clothing on himself, Dean followed suit.  Minutes later they were walking through the camp, helmets were dipped low and the scarves were pulled high.  They seemed to march around unnoticed for a long time before they found a suitable vehicle with keys in it.  As they climbed into the armoured jeep, they heard the alarm raise.

 

“PRISONERS ARE LOOSE!!! EVERYTHING ON LOCK DOWN!”

 

“Time to go Sammy!”  Dean yelled.  Sam had the engine running and was slamming his foot on the accelerator before Dean had closed the door.  They made for the nearest bit of wall they could find.  The jeep was sturdy enough that it should create some damage.  They drove head first into the wall.  The boys were slammed against their seatbelts, Sam crying in pain from his chest.  The wall barely budged.  “SHIT!”

 

“C’mon we are just going to have to climb! Let’s GO!”  Sam was out the door and climbing the wall, using the guards jacket to cover the wire.  The jeep plus Sam’s height allowed him to leap over the fence with a little effort.  Dean had more effort with the wall but managed over the other side, landing on his feet a tad heavily.

 

“Wouldn’t want to break your leg on _that_ fall any way!”  With that, the boys ran.  They hurtled towards the woods close by and they didn’t stop until they couldn’t breathe.  They staggered along for a little bit longer until they both passed out from blood loss, pain, exhaustion, dehydration, or all of the above.  They repeated a cycle of walking and sleeping, their pace growing ever slower as their bodies weakened.  The boys were sure the Sires would catch up with them any time now,  it must have been a couple days since they escaped the compound.  They heard voices off in the distance.  The boys tried to run from the voices but it was too hard.  Every movement was like walking through mud.  The voices grew closer and closer, this was surely the end for the brothers.  They heard the dreaded words, “Hey Sarge! We found ‘em!!!”


	11. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "Home, Now that I'm coming home,  
> Will you be the same as when I saw you last,  
> Tell me how much time has passed,"
> 
> Into Oblivion (Reunion) by Funeral for a Friend

Sam could hear the mumble of voices around him. He was being talked about. When he opened his eyes the pain from the bright light was too much for his weakened state. There were two things on his brain, first he needed to get home, to his Omega. Second, he needed to find his brother so could take whoever these people were, out. “Dean!?” His voice was cracked and dry.

“Hey Sam, it’s ok! I’m right here!” Sam felt pressure on his hand, he returned the grip tightly. “Don’t try to talk, you’ve been out for three days. Docs gave you sedation so you could heal quicker.”

“You would have been in better shape too if you let us treat you the same way.” A stranger’s voice was chiding Dean. “You should still be in bed resting.”

“Sorry Doc. I’ll go when he goes to sleep again.” Dean turned his attention back to Sam, “We were found by the troop! The morning after our capture they were organising a raid on the camp where we were held. We were gone by the time they hit, spent two and a half days wandering those woods, I was out for a day. Wouldn’t let them give me anything else till I saw you, had to make sure you were ok. Then when you weren’t... I didn’t leave.” There was a haunted look in Dean’s eyes, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. 

Although he tried to process that information, Sam couldn’t get past the dry rasping in his throat, his face was still sore from the punches and when he tried to take a deep breath he could feel the restriction of some dressings, literally holding him together. “Water?” With the shaky request, Dean grabbed up the cup sitting on Sam’s cabinet and pushed a straw up to his lips. There was the other thing Sam couldn’t stop thinking about. “Jess?!”

“She knows, she’s worried but she feels better knowing you are here, even more better when she learned we’re going home. They are sending us home Sammy!” Dean had some hype in his voice. It sent a wave of happiness through him. Yet again, however it was too much for his brain to handle and with that news, Sam was overcome with exhaustion. He was fast asleep in seconds.

A sigh escaped Dean’s chest. The look on Sam’s face when he asked about Jess... Why couldn’t he just make himself feel that way for Lisa. All through the escape, the woods, his thoughts were about Sam, his family. Lisa popped in his head once or twice when he needed an extra incentive to get home. Another stab of guilt pierced through him, he missed her dearly, he really did. Her scent would always ground him, remind him that he was lucky to have what he has, even if it isn’t perfect. 

Dean stood up and stretched himself out. Sitting in that chair for nearly two days had left him stiff. He made his way back to his own bed, barely used since his arrival, for a much needed sleep. His brother was alive, he was ok. He was banged up and he was hurting but it would be ok. Dean settled onto his chest, the dressings around his torso not enough to allow him to lie on his back.

The boys spent a week in the field hospital. The wounds were all stitched and were healing well. Sam was eating like a moose, consuming everything offered to him. They went for short walks to strengthen their muscles and had plenty of rest. It took most of the week to get the paperwork for the boys to be discharged home in place. John had tried to get in contact with the hospital but Dean had refused to take his calls. It was at night, that’s when the deeper, slower healing scars of the boys’ ordeal made themselves known. 

Dean stood and watched as Sam was pleading with the doctors one night, “No! Please Doc! I’m fine I will go to sleep I promise I just don’t want any more drugs! Please!”

“Sam we tried that the last couple of nights, we know you didn’t sleep at all. We've seen this many times before. Your body is still healing it needs rest.” The doctor pushed the needle into Sam’s arm and sunk the plunger. All attempts at using IV lines had failed, Sam pulling them out consistently. Sam valiantly tried to elude sleep, hoping to avoid the nightmares, the orange hair, the pain. He stayed awake for three days straight trying to convince the nurses that he was asleep. Apparently his acting wasn’t as good as he thought. As the drugs sank into his system Sam gave Dean a helpless look. It conveyed how broken he felt inside, how hard he was trying to be better. Once the doctor left Dean rushed over and took his brother’s hand. 

“It’ ok Sammy I’m here. Hey, listen to me, we are going to patch you up okay... You'll be as good as new. Huh? I'm going to take care of you, I'm going to take care of you! I gotcha. It's my job, right, watch after my pain-in-the-ass little brother!” His words felt hollow. His brother was hurt, not just physically. He wondered if that kind of injury could be patched up as easily as their physical wounds were.

Sam refused to go to sleep at night, he usually would have to be sedated. Even then he would wake up screaming Dean’s name, asking for Abaddon to stop in the middle of the night. Sometimes he would writhe so much it was as if someone was trying to shove all the broken bits together. He often fell out the bed, opening his wounds. The worst night was when Dean was sitting with Sam, he seemed to be getting better. He managed to get off to sleep without the use of drugs. Suddenly Sam was throwing himself around the bed, screaming in pain, blood curling cries ripping through his body. Dean leapt up to comfort his brother. “Sam! Hey buddy! You’re ok Sammy! I’m here! You gotta relax buddy! Sam! Stop!” Dean tried to hold his brothers arms, they were hitting the cotsides of the bed with great force. Dean, in his weakened state couldn’t hold them down for long. When Sam threw his body out the bed it sent Dean clattering down to the floor several paces away. Doctors and nurses swarmed the room and bundled the still writhing six foot four man into the bed. They filled him with all the sedation drugs they could. The nurses had to strap him to the bed. Dean saw it all. It broke his heart into a thousand pieces. He made sure he was right beside Sam in the morning. Sam woke up late morning and looked surprised when he tried to wipe the sleep away with his hand but found it strapped down. His nails were all bloody and pulled away from their nail beds. He looked towards his brother. “Dean? Wha-“ 

“They had to strap you down, you were throwing yourself about the place.” Dean’s face was haunted. He had aged years just in the last few months being away. The shine in his eyes were gone, his jaw constantly tight with worry.

“Oh... I don’t remember anything,” it was the truth, he had a nightmare sure, but he had become used to them now. 

“It’s ok Sammy. It’s not your fault. We’ll figure it out.” Dean walked over and untied Sam’s arms and legs.

“Thanks.” Sam’s voice was raspy and dry he reached for his cup of water and took a long drink. “How’d you sleep?”

“Ha! Like a drunk baby thanks,” Dean didn’t have the heart to tell his brother that he saw everything, he witnessed his brother completely fall apart. In truth, Dean’s nights were long, he slept for a few hours every couple nights. Every time he tried to sleep the sounds of Sammy being tortured played on a loop, the sight of flamed hair and piercing terrifying green eyes were ingrained in his brain. The Doctors attempted to give him the same treatment as they did with Sam but the doctor who had a broken nose could verify, Dean was probably going to be ok without an enforced nap time.

They talked about it all when they were alone, during their walks, “what if it never gets better Dean? I need to get home! To Jess. I can’t be transferred to some institution!” Dean winced, the doctors had mentioned it once between themselves in the corridor outside Sam’s room, Sam was supposed to be asleep so Dean didn’t think he had heard. “Hey thanks for telling me about their plan anyway!” Sam’s sarcastic accusation hurt. 

“Hey if you heard them talking then you definitely heard me going out there and ripping those doctors new ones!” Dean wasn’t going to get angry with Sam for not trusting him. They were both on tenterhooks the whole time, aching to get away from the hospital.

Sam sighed tiredly, “Yeah I know. I just miss her. That’s all.”

“I know. But to get both of us better, we gotta talk about this shit. For once I am going to do the healthy thing and we are going to talk this shit out. It’s the only we get home. What do you see? At night?”

“Dean, I can’t...”

“Only way we get home Sammy!”

“I see you,” Dean nodded thoughtfully, “I was marched out in front of everyone, I didn’t know if you were alive or dead. Then that look you gave me, lasted seconds before you were unconscious again that was all I had. Three seconds confirming you were alive. Your shoulder... it was gross man. That’s the worst part. Not knowing if you would wake up again.”

“She sliced you up pretty bad too?” 

“Well, the pain was excruciating but I was ok with it!” Sam shrugged his shoulders and looked confused at the memory.

“Yeah you’re going to have to explain that one to me...”

“The pain was just searing, unrelenting, sure, but it ultimately was a welcome distraction from the thoughts of you hanging there, Dean, dying. No pain could be worse than that so yeah, I was ok with it.” Sam looked exhausted. They headed back to Sam’s room where he lay down and was asleep within seconds. Dean stayed in case his brother started convulsing again. The soft cuffs were still attached to the bed, ready for action. Dean used the time to reflect on their collective condition. He didn’t appreciate the reasons Sam seemed more messed up than him. All he remembered from the time they were tortured together was Sam being parading about and bound the other post, that was about it. He realised suddenly that Sam had probably heard him being tortured, then go silent before coming out to see the full extent of his injuries, then to see him collapse with pain before his brother was even tied the post before having to undergo similar treatment. No wonder Sam was worse, he had to contemplate that Dean was murdered, he had to live in a world that his brother was dead, even if it was only for a while. In that place minutes felt like days. 

They knew it was going to take time, patience and chick flick moments, as Dean described them, to deal with it. They made a promise to not let their demons possess them. Dean had seen a cool symbol from an anti-possession charm, they agreed they would get it tattooed when they got home. 

When they were eventually allowed to be discharged home, things were slightly better, Dean got some sleep every night and Sam’s convulsions were less frequent and less severe. They were too keen to get home to stay any longer. They were flown to Kansas City Airport, where both Lisa and Jess were waiting for their Alphas to return home from War.

“Holy shit, man! We did it!” Dean was incredulous, they were back in Kansas, back home.

“We were always getting home Dean, but yeah it feels pretty good doesn’t it!”

“What do we do about Dad?” Dean looked to his taller brother, anticipating the response.

“He is no longer my Dad. I will have nothing more to do with the man who sent me to my near death.” Anyone father who has to use his stupid mojo on his sons is no real father.

Yahtzee, Dean thought, right on target. “He won’t let you go lightly.” Dean saw his the second his brother laid eyes on Jess. His face changed so completely, the smile reached right up to his eyes and he had already quickened his pace to close the gap between him and his True Mate.

“Don’t care. Let’s not speak about him now. I’m going to go run to my Omega over there and have a really mushy reunion. Feel free to bring a puke bucket.” Sam broke into a sprint, as did Jess, they hurtled towards each other, Jess leaping into Sam’s arms, causing him to drop his bags on the floor to accommodate her. They shared a long, deep, loving kiss, despite Dean making puking noises as he passed the couple. 

“Hey Lisa.” Was all Dean could get out. He looked into Lisa’s eyes, they were so deep, so understanding. All he could do was pull her into a long hug before planting a chaste kiss on her forehead. It was all he could do to stop himself collapsing in her arms and weeping like a child. He felt so empty and hollow, Lisa’s scent did its job and grounded him but he still felt that nagging void just a little bit sharper than usual. He nearly lost his brother because of their father. He himself nearly died before he had even met his mate. He filed those things away to talk to his brother about. They had already scheduled a time every week to go walking, just walking and talking, to help them both mend each other. He looked to his girlfriend and he smiled. He was fighting a battle within himself. On one hand he loved Lisa, she was everything he should want, she was beautiful, smart, witty and didn’t put up with his shit. On the other hand, he looked at her and he knew it wasn’t a scratch compared to what Sam felt when he looked at Jess. Jess and Sam were like planets, orbiting each other, locked in a cycle for the rest of time. Dean felt as though he was merely a comet, glancing past Lisa, close for a period of time until he inevitably gets pulled away by something else. His feelings could only stretch so far. He shook himself from those thoughts, this was enough. It wasn’t perfect, sure, but it was enough.


	12. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing   
> Haunting yourself as the real thing   
> It’s getting away from you again   
> While you’re chasin’ ghosts"
> 
> "Ghost of a Good Thing" By Dashboard Confessional

“Bitch!!”

 

“Jerk!!”

 

“Guys seriously!? How old are you now?!” Lisa rolled her eyes as she chastised the two over grown children currently arguing over the Saturday night movie. She brought the  
popcorn through from the kitchen and placed it on the table.

 

“I don’t think they’re ever going to grow up...” Jess stage whispered to Lisa.

 

“I don’t even know you right now. There's not even a contest.” Dean was already shovelling popcorn into his mouth, even though they had yet to decide on a movie.

 

“It depends on the criteria!”

 

“Survival is the only criteria, alright? And when the crap hits the fan, it's not about who has skill. It's about who's the bigger badass. Girls, will you please tell Sam that Chuck Norris could kick Jet Li's ass.”

 

“We are staying the hell out of this, but if you don’t pick soon we’ll put ‘The Notebook’ on.” Jess and Lisa nodded in unity in a way that had the two Alpha’s looking fearfully at their Omega girlfriends with genuine worry and fear. The boy’s quickly agreed on a Chuck Norris movie and settled down beside their respective partners.

 

The evening was one that all four of them had been longing for. The boys had only just got home from the Field hospital a month ago and between the debriefings, the meetings, the reunion with their girlfriends (and the week long absence both couples took as the boys’ ruts hit), it had been a long time since the four of them had managed to hang out like the group of friends they were. Dean and Sam kept their promise to each other and were sporting matching anti-possession tattoos. They went walking for the first few weeks, after a while Sam insisted on going for runs instead, much to Dean’s distaste. He often grumbled about becoming all smelly and sweaty but went went though it all with his brother, they would go to the nearest cafe where Sam would have a water to rehydrate and Dean would scoff a slice of pie to undo all his work from the run. “I’m replenishing my glucose stores!” He would say.

 

Lisa and Jess got on famously together and helped each other through the fear and the pain of having their men away at war. From the tears shed when the letters came, when Lisa would read Sam’s letter to Jess and Jess would read Dean’s letter to Lisa, to the long weeks where there was no word from either brother. When the Winchester brothers came home, slightly broken, slightly haunted the girls stuck together and supported their men back to health and happiness. Jess had managed to soothe the hardened lines on Sam’s face and brought back the dimples when Sam smiled. Lisa brought the sparkle back to Dean’s irresistible jade green eyes and managed to relax his jaw and brought his smile back. They helped the boys though the last stages of healing from their wounds, both the mental and physical ones. Dean had scars down his back that would never fully fade. Similarly Sam would have notches cut into his collar bone for the rest of his life. The Omegas didn’t even flinch the first time they saw the scars, merely helped care for them and kissed and loved the rest of the pain away. Only in the darker times since his return did Dean wake up, screaming in pain, orange flames of hair lighting his nightmares. Jess admitted once to Dean she was in the wrong place at the wrong time one night and when Sam had a convulsion attack one night she was hit. Sam was grovelling at her feet for the next week, despite her instant forgiveness. Dean made Sam talk about the period of time where he was being tortured and Sam had to listen. It was a rough session that day. That was the main cause of Sam’s severe PTSD. After that discussion it got much better, Sam was able to move on and his sleep improved dramatically.

 

Once the movie was finished the couples sat together and talked for hours, the brothers were regaling the girls of more stories from their childhood and the girls joining in with the mocking and teasing. Eventually, when Jess was half asleep against Sam’s chest, they called it a night and Sam carried his girlfriend to the car and laid her down with great care into the passenger seat. He gave his brother and hug and Lisa a peck on the cheek before slipping into the car and driving down the street to their apartment.

 

“I really wish they weren’t moving to the other side of the country.” Grumbled Dean.

 

“I know, me too, but Sam’s going to be an awesome lawyer, don’t you think?” Lisa wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck, having to reach onto her tip toes to plant a kiss onto those beautiful lips. It was one of the topics that came up during the boys’ time exercising their demons away. Sam had wanted to go to Stanford and study Law, he was already doing enough at community college to get into Pre-Law, he had an interview for a for a place in a week, his whole future on a plate, full ride and all. Sam wanted to fight to prevent anything like the war from happening again. He would fight tooth and nail to get justice and peace for all. Dean encouraged his brother to pursue his dream, however he knew he couldn’t lift Lisa and Ben from their lives and that he would have to stay in Kansas.

 

“Yeah, he will be.” Dean sighed. His brother moving away was going to suck, but they had already planned the schedule and protocols for who’s visiting who when. “So, we have the place to ourselves, Ben is at his friend’s house, what do you think we should do?” Dean wrapped his arms around Lisa and pulled her close, smelling her hair as it blew in the light breeze. It was a type of self-torture Dean had come to depend on. Lisa smelt like rain on a summer’s day, like fresh snow on Christmas. She was everything he had been brought up to want. His dad had been so proud of him for finding Lisa, a good Omega woman who loved him and would give birth to strong pups that were almost guaranteed to present as Alphas, just like their father, and their father before that. His lineage went right back to Alphas coming over on the Mayflower. John Winchester even looked over the fact that Lisa had a son, Ben. Dean never had the heart to tell his Father that yes, he loved Lisa, he would do almost anything for her but she was not his True Mate, and he was not hers. They were both lost when they found each other, they had clung on to each other and never managed to let go. They loved each other but knew that one day they may be torn apart by a force greater than either of them.

 

“I have a rough idea...” Lisa winked and made her way back inside, leaving Dean standing on the pavement staring after her like a hungry dog.

 

“You will be the death of me, woman!” Dean followed her inside and up to their bedroom. Dean could smell Lisa wasn’t nearing her heat. They were always very careful; they mutually agreed having kids together would not be healthy in any way and would only lead to further heartbreak and complications if Dean ever met his True Mate.

 

John had tried to contact the boys since their return. Dean didn’t have the stomach to face him. He hoped that, in time, the fractured bond between them would be fixed but, at the moment it was impossible. He still loved his father, the man was a hero but Dean couldn’t help but feel John Winchester was a bit too obsessed with Alpha greatness, Alpha bloodlines and continuing the family name. He quickly pushed those thoughts from his mind and focused his attention of the beautiful woman currently kneeling invitingly on the bed. He made his way over and showered her with kisses. He really wished he could make Lisa his True Mate, it would be so much easier. Instead Dean had to accept there would always be a small gap in his soul, a hole that would only be filled by the one person who was made specifically for him.

 

With Lisa falling into a sated slumber next to him having spent many hours in bed together, Dean thought more on the idea of True Mates. If he found his True Mate it was sure to be a bittersweet moment and Dean wasn’t sure if he could cope with the guilt of losing Lisa. Dean turned and wrapped a possessive arm around Lisa, using her smell to ground him, even if it did cause dull ache in his chest before falling into a fitful sleep. He slept peacefully that night with thoughts of his True Mate, there was no face, there was no telling who that person was, all he could see in his dreams was sapphire blue eyes and full lips.


	13. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "Oh I hope for the best  
> I prepare for the worst  
> If you were in my shoes, you would know, you would know how it felt."
> 
> "Hope for the Best" - By You Me At Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you for all the Kudos :) 
> 
> *Enter stage left _ Castiel :D*

Castiel Milton pushed himself away from his desk in frustration. He went in search of more coffee. Yet again he had come up with a story that was actually news worthy and yet again he had been told to ditch it in favour of covering the latest eating contest. Castiel seemed to be the only person in Kansas who cared that there was a pointless war going on and that most of a whole gender of Lychans was extinct because of it. He had been particularly interested in one family in particular, the Winchester brothers were local heroes, escaping from the Sire strong hold and lasting two days out in the wilderness after being tortured. Castiel desperately wanted to meet them, see the two soldiers who had been through so much together as brothers. But alas, he thought, his editor said no one was interested in the war anymore. It had gone on too long.

  
Something told Castiel, however, that those two boys were important . It was a niggle he could feel deep in his gut that he needed to see, to meet them. With a heavy sigh, Castiel pushed his thoughts down and focused on trying to make a hot dog eating contest more exciting than watching two men eat their height in hot dogs.

  
Although he was an Omega, Castiel did very well in life. He had managed to get his perfect job writing for the local newspaper and he was part of the political activist group “Equal rights for Omegas.” He felt he needed to work to stop anything from the horrific history of Omegas from happening again.

  
It was only thirty years ago that Omegas were given rights almost equal to those of Betas and Alphas. Prior to that, Omegas were expected to be this perfect symbol of submission and loyalty and devotion to their Alpha. It was common place for unclaimed Omegas to be kidnapped, raped, used and abused by anyone in society. No one cared during those times, Omegas were just bodies to be used for procreation. It made Castiel shudder to think what his life would have been like back then. As yet he was unmated, it would have made him a prime target for the lowlier Alphas in society. Even though the ‘Equality for Omegas’ act was in place, stating the illegality of rape, kidnap and general using of Omegas against their will, there were still many prejudices that hung around Omegas like Castiel . Although he could never prove it, he was convinced his bosses were shrugging off his stories because he was on Omega. He also had to be careful in his day to day life, he would still get wolf whistled at if he walked past a group of drunken Betas and he would get pawed at in bars, hence why he rarely went out anymore. Yes, he was ‘equal’ in the physical sense, not being locked away behind doors to shoot out pups left right and centre, but his life was certainly not as free and as equal as society makes it out to be.

  
After his frustrating day at work, Castiel made his way home, he contemplated his life and how it was going. He was getting a bit on the old side for an unmated Omega and his family were starting to worry for him. He, rather frustratingly, was the only child to present as an Omega. His Omega mother had died soon after he was born, tearing the family apart. His father was a good man but he travelled away a lot so Castiel was raised mostly by his brothers, eldest twins; Michael and Lucifer as well as his older brother Uriel. His brothers were very quick to teach Castiel the traditional ways an Omega should act, sometimes forcing Castiel to follow orders. He was taught to be meek, to submit to his Alpha brothers and in time he would submit to his True Mate. This had gone through Castiel’s childhood years until he was sixteen. That’s when he met Gabrie l, his far flung cousin. He was the same age as Michael and Lucifer but had very different view of the world to his brother. It was him that had taught him to rebel, to make his own way in life and screw the plan his older brothers had for him. Castiel followed Gabriel’s example and left the family unit after his eighteenth birthday, despite his brothers’ attempts to ‘fix’ him with intensive Omega training. It left Castiel with a questionable attitude towards authority which often landed him in a lot of trouble, hence the journalist’s career and the activist group.

  
Castiel walked through the park as he always did, searching out for the old couples still together after all this time. It made his heart well with need. There was something missing from his life. He knew exactly what it was but tried to rebel against it. Castiel didn’t want to be claimed by some self important Alpha. Legally, he was allowed to say no and remain unclaimed but there was something more terrifying that even that. Castiel knew there may come a time, if he ever met his True Mate, like the lore books say you are likely to, that he would have no choice but to submit to an Alpha. If his True Mate ever showed himself, the books suggested there was very little an Omega could do to turn off the feelings of need and loyalty and love towards the Alpha. He could appreciate the biological advantage of it all. By making the Omega latch on to the Alpha you are more likely to make little pups, forcing the two people designed for each other together, no matter what the cost. He could also appreciate the advantage of such strong, instant attraction, his ‘people skills’ were frequently described as ‘rusty.’ If he met is Mate and had to win them over with charm and wit, Castiel would be forever alone.

  
The walk through the park cleared his head and as he reached his apartment, Castiel pushed the thoughts from his head. With the war continuing, it was unlikely there would be any Alphas left. His True Mate might have been killed in battle last week and Castiel wouldn’t even know. The conflict of emotions within him raged on. He did want to share his life with someone, he had been with a couple of Betas in his past but they never really made him feel anything other than used. As he was getting older his heats were becoming more desperate, more painful, and needier. His biological clock was ringing louder and louder with every passing month. He only managed his heats with the help of fake knots and a few ‘me days’ from work.

  
Eventually, weeks after his first proposal for writing a story about the war, he was allowed to write a piece. He was handed the materials to base the story on, press releases from the Alpha Sec. It hailed the war as a great victory for the Alphas, that they were victorious in defeating a bloodthirsty, dark and evil threat to Lychan-kind. The turning point being when their power hungry, revenge driven leader, Abaddon was killed during a raid, the same raid that was supposed to rescue the now infamous Winchester brothers. From what Castiel could read about it was a piss poor rescue attempt, the boys had already been tortured, held in captivity, took out two soldiers and escaped in the time it took to organise a damn raid. It then took to Army two more days to find the brothers, both barely alive, huddled together in the woods, the story goes that the eldest brother had to fashion a shelter from his own jacket and a few logs to keep the younger brother dry and warm, another story said that despite being on the verge of hypothermia and septicaemia, the elder brother refused medical care until his sibling was seen to take taken into the Ambulance. Castiel wondered what it must be like to have family that you would risk our life for. To have someone in your life that meant so much. He liked the sound of the older Winchester and hoped that one day maybe he could meet him, write a story about him . Castiel sighed, that was likely to be a pipe dream, last mention of the Winchester was that he was at home with his Omega Mate and asked the media to respect his privacy. Maybe in time he would be open to an offer of a story .

  
The media portrayed the leaders of the Alpha Sec as merciful and tolerant, by meeting with the new leaders of the Sires. The leaders of both sides had met and agreed to a peace treaty. A peace treaty which, in no uncertain terms would guarantee the extinction of the Pale-Ones, the choice was either extinction now of extinction later . The Lychan government provided the surviving Pale-ones with designated communities, introduced breeding control programmes. It all sounded very civilized and very kind from the Lychan government. The pale-ones had no choice but to agree to the terms, the only way the survivors would get to live out their days with a small amount of freedom.

Castiel set the materials to one side and set about hacking his way into the real story. He managed to get into some pretty confidential files. The designated communities looked more like reservation camps, they had high walls, guarded gates, more like a glorified prison. The breeding control programme was an outright ban on procreation and pair bonding, thus ensuring the eventual extinction or the Pale-Ones. Castiel couldn’t really see what all the fuss was about, the Pale-Ones pair bonding was actually quite similar to the Lychan’s process, A bite between a Sire and their ‘chosen,’ their equivalent to an Omega, to initiate the bond, the only gross part was a blood exchange, the Sire drank a few mouthfuls from the Chosen and in turn the Chosen drank a few mouthfuls of blood from the Sire, after that if the Sire and Chosen had sex they were likely to have a sprog, their equivalent to a pup. It sounded gory but the Lychans have to spend hours literally tied together by an Alphas dick so who’s really the freaks? Castiel thought to himself. The whole war was started over some street squabbles, which turned into a gang war which sparked a few hits on important figures on either side hence leading to the Civil War of America. The Lychans painted the Pale-Ones as barbaric, bloodthirsty freaks who would drink you children dry. The Pale-one’s propaganda showed the Lychans to be uneducated, rabid dogs who needed trained. It was such a long and pointless war, there were no winners, only a growing number of dead humans of different species.

  
Castiel dug a bit deeper and found the true cost of the war to the Lychans themselves. Only seventy Alphas survived the war, hundreds, thousands of bloodlines and heritage blown away by years of conflict. Castiel shook his head, he was sure he was never going to be mated now. He couldn’t even do the maths to figure out his chances of meeting his True Mate now . He chided himself for being so selfish and set about writing the _truth_ about the ridiculous war and how much it really cost. The bottom line of it all was that Alphas were going to die out, leaving Betas and Omegas to continue. Lychans would live on but it would never be the same as before, not unless the government had a way of magicing up a couple hundred thousand Alphas.


	14. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "Do you feel like a man? When you push [him] around,
> 
> Do you feel better now? as [he] falls to the ground"
> 
> "Face down" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (adapted)

John typed away on his computer.  He had been asked to collect the data for the number of alphas remaining, to take a stock check, basically.  There was a nationwide decree for all Alphas to register themselves and all their personal information, bloodline, marital status, everything.  The idea was that the Alpha Faction ‘Alpha Fac’ from the government could then project the number of Alphas and if there were going to be enough Alphas bred to continue the gender, at least that’s what John had been told.  The decree had been active for a couple of months now, since the last of the Alphas returned home from the war.  So far it looked bleak.  Most of the Alphas were with Omegas, presumably their True Mates but there were a few who were unmated or were with Betas.  John looked down the terrifyingly short list, noticed two names missing and sighed.   Sam and Dean had been discharged home a month before the decree was made.  Dean was still with Lisa in Lawrence, Kansas, living a normal apple pie life, playing happy families and sucking up to that ass, Bobby Singer.  Sam was living in Stanford, California with his Mate Jess and was going to College there.  He was glad that Sam was moving up in the world but was disappointed when his son wouldn’t even pick up the phone when he called.

 

 He regretted the decision to force his sons to follow his will by using his Paternal Alpha power.  At the time he had managed to justify it, the good of the many outweighed the good of the few.  The whole Lychan population were depending on the Alphas wiping out the Sires.  Now, he couldn’t get either of his sons to answer the damn phone.  It filled him with guilt, he had failed his family and he knew if Mary, his late wife, could see him now, the way he treated her boys, she would be furious.  John nearly went crazy when he heard the brothers had been abducted.  He was refused leave to visit them in hospital and the boys weren’t interested in talking to him over the phone.  He just wanted an opportunity to explain himself, to apologise. 

 

 Feeling sorry for himself, John ended up in a bar after work.  He had a couple of days leave and planned on forgetting about the whole sorry affair.  He ordered a bourbon and a beer to chase it down with.  The burn of the bourbon was soothed by the coolness of the beer, a wave of numbness flowed over John.  The bar suited his mood to a tee.  It was dark, old, and there were patrons looking as equally forlorn lining the bar, trading stories of woe.  He ordered another bourbon and beer and downed them in quick succession, willing the numbness to consume him.  The guilt was washed away quite easily, he could think about things clearer now.  Looking at things objectively, John thought, he was _trying_ to reconcile with his sons.  He had reached out to them on several occasions.  He _wanted_ to explain himself, get them to forgive him.  It wasn’t even really _his_ fault he had to use his Alpha mojo anyway, is Sam and Dean had just done what he asked in the first place, they might not even be in this mess.  John laughed to himself internally, his Son’s weren’t exactly known for doing what they’re told.  He heard about their misdemeanours at basic training, even as kids, John would regularly have to give them telling offs, not that he could remember what they were for, but they must have deserved them.  He and Sam had butted heads a lot when Sam had decided to go to community college instead of joining up to the Army straight after school, refused to join the family business.   Dean was whole other league.  He could never understand why Dean was the way he was.  He always looked like a kicked puppy, a sad sap who just wouldn’t get his life together.  He was a condescending ass too, John would wake up after a few drinks and would be on his side, on the floor, towels around him, Dean there cleaning up, silent judgement always etched on his face.

               

John’s thoughts turned more acidic the more he drank, he steeled himself and stood up from the stool, holding the bar for support.  If he couldn’t get his ungrateful, unthinking, self righteous, condescending, unruly, troublemaking kids to see him, he would go see his damn kids!  He handed his hip flask over to the barmaid to fill up, to keep him warm on the walk over.  It took about twenty minute to walk to his eldest son’s house,  he was halfway through his hip flask and knew exactly how to get his son to see his side of things.  He banged on the door to the house until it was answered.

 

John smiled as his eldest son’s eyes widened in recognition.  It must have been later than John thought, Dean was clearly in his pyjamas and had hair ruffled from sleep.  “Hey, Dean.”

 

“Dad?  What the-“  Dean sounded confused.

 

 “You boys won’t answer your phones so I thought I’d come over!”   John stated, obviously.

 

“At one AM?”  Damn, John thought, it was later that he thought.

 

“Doesn’t matter!  You need to forgive me!”  John winced internally, his words came out all wrong.  “’t’s not my fault!  You boys don’t _listen_ to me!  Don’t do anything I ask!”

 

 “Maybe because everything you ask us to do isn’t what we want for ourselves Dad!  When we were younger we never wanted to learn how to hunt!  You made us!  When I was sixteen I wanted to go to my high school dance but you made me go to a bar with you!  You never ask us what we want to do.  You only think of yourself!”  Dean had never spoken to him like that before.  The Omega he’s with must be giving him some back bone.

 

“What?!  Some Omega bats her eyelids at you and suddenly your king of the fucking castle?”  John slurred.

 

“Dad!  Keep your voice down,” Dean hissed though clenched teeth, “you’re drunk.  You can’t come here in the middle of the night drunk!”

 

“Why won’t you talk to me?!”  John’s voice was becoming progressively louder, more threatening.

 

“Because you are drunk and that’s about the same as trying to speak to a fucking brick wall!  Go home Dad!  I have nothing to say to you.”  Dean attempted to step back into his house and close the door.  The next couple of seconds passed in slow motion, John was in a fit of drunken rage, he was not about to be turned away by his no good son after making the effort to come over!  His hand flew forwards and grabbed Dean by the throat, pulling him out into the porch before slamming him against the wall.  He could feel Dean grabbing his hands, trying to pull them away from his neck, John’s grip held tight. 

 

“You little shit and your ass of a brother need to learn some fucking respect!  If I ask you to do something, you should fucking DO IT!  I shouldn’t _have_ to use my Alpha powers to control you.”  John slammed Dean against the wall again, he punctuated his words with more slams, “You.  Should Fucking.  Want.  To.  Obey!”  He finally let go, his son slid down the wall to the floor, gasping breathlessly, unable to speak.  He looked at the pathetic mess squirming around on the floor.  “You need to register yourself on the ‘Alpha list,’ it’s Law now, and tell your fucking brother that too whilst your bitching about me to him.”  John had calmed slightly, the buzz of the alcohol burning up in the cold air.  “I expect you and Sam to be in my office on Monday signing that bit of paper.  You hear me Dean?”

 

By this point Dean had only just managed to push himself up on to his hands and knees.  He was dry retching and gasping still but managed to force out, “fuck you!” It was rasped and quiet enough John didn’t hear.

 

“Oh come on don’t be so dramatic!  Get up and go inside!”  John turned and strode away down the street.  It wasn’t perfect but he had managed to get his son to agree to register and if Dean did something, Sam usually followed.  Once home he grabbed a bottle of... something, he didn’t really care and drank until he passed out in his chair.


	15. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "This world, this world is cold  
> But you don't, you don't have to go  
> You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely  
> And no one seems to care  
> Your mother's gone and your father hits you  
> This pain you cannot bear"
> 
> "Hold On" By Good Charlotte

Dean coughed and sputtered for a few minutes before Lisa came rushing out.  “Oh my god Dean!  Was that... your father?!”  Dean didn’t have the breath to answer yet and just nodded.  His lungs were on fire, his vision was blurry.  Lisa helped him inside and back to bed with no other words.  After another ten minutes Dean had control of his breathing, his senses had come back and the fire in his lungs had settled.  There was no way he was going to be able to sleep tonight.  He considered phone his brother there and then, telling him about the attack but Dean thought better of it.  “Do you want to talk about it?”  Lisa asked

 

 

“Not really.  He said some things.   He was drunk.  It’s fine.  Try ‘n’ go to sleep.”

 

 

“Dean, he threw you around like a rag doll, I heard it from up here.”  Dean winced, he didn’t want to look weak in front of Lisa.  She depended on him to protect her.  This was yet another thing his Dad had ruined for him.  He had sabotaged Dean’s childhood, his old job, now he was sabotaging his relationship with Lisa.  He sighed and gave her a look of what he was hoping was love and comfort rather than what he was really feeling, desolation and hopelessness. 

 

 

“I’m fine.  I’ve had worse.”  The words ‘from Dad’ were left out but lingered in his mind.  Lisa sighed, gave him a kiss and settled down to sleep.  Lisa knew Dean was beat up when he lived with Dad but Dean knew she didn’t quite understand how it affected him.  That empty void made its self known again.  He longed for the person he could spill everything out to, even his deepest thoughts and feelings.

 

 

The next day Dean dragged himself out of bed.  The room was swirling around,  releasing a wave of nausea through Dean.  Morbid curiosity had him looking in the bathroom mirror.  Yep, Dean thought, that is definite bruises on his neck, the yellow marks highlighted with blue where John’s finger tips would have been.  He felt the back out his head and felt the lump from the repeated hits against the wall.  The wave of nausea hit him again and sent him to the toilet, retching into the bowl.  Dean’s mind raced back to one of the previous times his Dad had beaten him and given him a similar lump, he was throwing up for hours until his Dad finally took him to the doctors.  The doctors found the lump on his head and diagnosed him with concussion.  His dad explained it away saying Dean was playing in a tree and fell, landing on his head.  He felt similar to what he felt then.  His dad had beaten him so hard against the wall last night he had a concussion, fan-fucking-tastic, Dean thought.  He phoned Bobby at work, claiming something he ate last night had given him food poisoning.  Bobby didn’t sound convinced but let it go.  He needed to talk to Sam, alone.  His head was swimming, Lisa was giving him worried looks, all he could muster was reassuring smiles towards the Omega.  She agreed to go to work once Sam was called.  He would be over in twenty minutes.  Sam was visiting from Stanford, he had been there for just over a month and was loving every second of it.  Dean was thrilled that Sam was getting everything he had ever wanted.  He had the girl, he was going to be a big time lawyer he was gonna be rich and have beautiful, smart pups with Jess.  Dean wasn’t even jealous, despite the hollow feeling buried deep.  When Lisa called him, Sam said he would race over from the Motel he was staying in.  Dean was annoyed that Sam would have to spend his last full day in Lawrence babysitting him, making sure he didn’t throw up his stomach or die of a brain haemorrhage.  Sam was leaving tomorrow and they wouldn’t see each other for a couple of months until it was Dean’s turn to travel to California.

 

 

When the door bell rang it made Dean jump, he was reclining on the sofa he yelled for Sam to enter, wishing he hadn’t, his own voice sent a stab of pain through his head and another wave of nausea.   “Hey Sammy...”

 

 

“Dean what the hell!!  Lisa said something happened and I had to come over.  What the hell happened to you!”  Sam stopped to take in Dean’s condition, his eyes hovering over the marks on his neck.

 

 

“I think I have a concussion.”  Dean replied, as offhand as he could

 

 

“Need some Aspirin?”

 

 

“No thanks, House.”  Dean joked, he couldn’t hold in his pain and nausea for long though.  He promptly threw up again in the bucket Lisa had found and given to him.  “Dad stopped by last night.  Drunk.”

 

 

“ _HE_ did this to you?!”  Sam looked appalled.  Dean nodded, only slightly, trying to keep the room in one place.  “What did he want?”

 

 

“I don’t know, well he wants us to register ourselves for the whole government Alpha audit... thing.  Other than that he was kinda vague.  Kept saying we never listened when were kids, he was making his excuses for doing the whole ‘Paternal Alpha’ power, mojo, whatever.  I dunno...  he was wasted.  Then I turned him away and he got mad, like super mad.”  Dean sighed and closed his eyes in defeat.  Things were just getting back to normal, he was sleeping without the night terrors.  The occasional nightmare reminded him of his time in the war but other than that he was managing to move on.

 

 

“Dumb register.  I don’t like the idea of it!  I don’t think it’s even legal!  Forget it!”

 

 

“That ‘dumb register’ has to be signed by Monday, that’s when Dad wants to see us.”  Dean opened one eye to see Sam’s reaction.

 

 

“If dad expects us to see him after what he’s done to you...  You should be pressing charges!”  Sam looked at him incredulously.

 

 

“I just want today to be over!  Seriously though what are we going to do on Monday.  It seems a pretty big deal.  To not sign the register is to break the law.  I know we aren’t on speaking terms with Dad but... what do we do?”   Dean gave up.  He tried his whole life to do what was best for others and he kept getting the shit kicked out of him for it.  He was lost and had no idea what to do now. 

 

 

This time it was Sam who sighed a defeated sound, “Your right.  It has been made law but I’m thinking of taking it to human rights groups at Stanford, see what they make of it.  In the mean time, we’ll sign it on Monday, but I won’t be saying a word to Dad.  I’ll sign it on Monday back at Stanford.  He is nothing to me.”

 

 

“Ok Sammy, good plan.  But aren’t all the human rights groups about Omega rights?  I doubt they care too much about Alphas, hell they’d probably be laughing, serves us right after what the last generations did to Omegas.

 

 

“Dean, that’s a bit harsh!  The register, the sudden interest in numbers of Alphas, it’s the kinda stuff that should have everyone’s alarm bells ringing if we are going to avoid history repeating itself.  I mean, why would the government, specifically the ‘Alpha Fac’ sub government, thing, want a list of all the names, the addresses and personal information of all the Alphas?  What do they need that information for?  That’s what I wanna know.”    

 

 

“Well, from what I’ve seen in the news, its being spun as a great idea to build the Alpha blood lines back up to strength, to ‘ensure the continuity of our great traditions and values.’”

 

 

“Yeah, translation ‘We don’t want Alphas to die out.’  It would serve the government asshats right if Alpha kind died out.  It’s their fault!  They dragged us into a war that was pointless.  It’s their fault there’s so few left.”

 

 

“Agreed.  Now I’m going to sleep.”  Dean had no energy for Sam’s political discussions, even when everything he said was true.

 

 

“Ok.  But I’ll have to wake you up every ten minutes to make sure you’re still alive though.”  Sam joked, his voice sounded forced into a lighter tone.

 

 

“Never mind then, how’s the wedding planning going?  Set a date yet?” 

 

“Yeah we did actually, you know that week you are visiting us?”

 

 

“It’s like two months time right?  What about it?”

 

 

Sam rolled his eyes but blamed his brother’s slowness of the concussion, “it’s going to be then.”

 

 

“That’s so awesome dude!  I would hug you but I think I’m gonna hurl.”

 

 

“well I dunno if this is going to send you over that edge but...  would you be my err...  Best Man?”

 

 

“Are you serious?!”

 

 

“Who else am I going to ask?  You are my brother and my best friend Dean.  Of course I want you there right next to me on my wedding day!”

 

 

“Sammy...  Yes man!!  Uh, oh...”  Dean threw up in the bucket again but could help but look up to his brother when he was finished with a huge smile on his face.

 

 

The boys spent the next few hours talking about Sam’s upcoming nuptials.  They had set a date for two months time.   To coincide with Dean visiting, even though he would have made the journey seven times over to be there, no matter when it was.  Two months only _just_ giving themselves enough time to plan the whole thing.  After several hours Dean was feeling well enough to stomach some dry toast and a glass of water.  The world stayed still and sickness became a lot less frequent. 

 

 

The brothers watched TV sitting in companionable silence for a while until Lisa came home with Ben.  Dean wanted to hide away from the two of them, he didn’t want either of them to see him like this.  He was better but was still sprawled on the sofa, reluctant to move in case he was sick again.  Lisa ushered Ben upstairs to his room to do his homework.  Lisa gave Dean a kiss on his cheek, ever so gently, as if he would break into a thousand pieces.  “Hey you.  How are you feeling?”

 

 

“I’m good, thanks.  Sammy here has been boring me stupid with wedding news.”  Dean joked, half-heartedly.  Lisa smiled in understanding.

 

 

“I’m going to have a bath and an early night.  Leave you two boys to it.”  Lisa headed upstairs.  The boys continued to watch TV in silence.  Dean started to feel much better and managed to eat more toast and some juice.  He had a stroll around the living room to test his nausea and found it almost completely gone. 

 

 

“Ok.  You seem back in the land of the living again.”

 

 

“Yeah, feel much better Sammy thanks, and I’m sorry.”

 

 

“What are you apologising for Dean?”

 

 

“I didn’t want you to have to spend your last day in Lawrence watching me.”

 

 

“Dean...  You have never needed to apologise for something _he_ did.”

 

 

“Thanks Sam.”   Dean didn’t have the energy to argue about his deep rooted guilt complex.    

 

 

“I’m gonna head, I’ll speak to you on Monday?  We could go sign the register first thing, get it over and done with then phone me!  I’m getting an early flight tomorrow morning so I can surprise Jess!”  Sam had a huge grin on his face when he spoke of his Omega, he could tell his brother missed her greatly, even just after a couple of days.  Sam pulled his brother in for a tight hug before leaving.  Dean took himself upstairs, he felt gross after spending all day being sick, he entered the bathroom where Lisa was still enjoying her bath, he hastily scrubbed his teeth before taking himself to bed.


	16. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "This is the story of my old man  
> Just like his father before him  
> I'm telling you,  
> Do anything you can  
> So you don't end up just like them"
> 
> Story of My Old Man" By Good Charlotte

“Sergeant Winchester!?  Colonel Azazel is summoning you to his office.  ASAP.”  It was Meg on the phone, Azazel’s assistant. 

 

 

“On a Sunday?”  John questioned.

 

 

“Emergency summons.  He’s pissed.  You better get here!”  John got out of bed, he was having a two day hangover, after his discussion with Dean on the Friday night he got a bit more drunk than anticipated, Saturday was a total write off.  He stumbled through to the shower and washed quickly.  He reckoned he was probably good to drive and set off for the Military base.  He rushed through the building going directly to Colonel Azazel’s office.  Azazel was sitting behind his desk, flicking through some paperwork.

 

 

“Sergeant Winchester, thanks for coming in on short notice.  Have a seat.”  John sat down and realised the paperwork Azazel was looking at was his own report on the Alpha numbers and projections for future Alpha numbers.  It was unfinished as it was missing two names of Alphas, his sons were given until Monday to sign.  “So this is all there is huh?  Sixty eight Alphas?”

 

 

“My apologies, sir there are seventy; the list is missing two names, Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester, sir. Sam’s mated to an Omega.  Dean is soon to be mated with an Omega, they are both likely to create Alphas.”

 

 

“Winchesters?  I’m guessing they’re your sons, the same sons who were _reluctant_ to join the Army?”  Azazel had a look in his eye that made John squirm in his seat.  He cursed the boys loudly in his head.  They had been nothing but trouble since this whole war mess had started.  If they just followed orders like they were supposed to, John wouldn’t be in this mess.

 

 

“Yes, Sir they are going to report to sign the register first thing tomorrow morning.  Then all seventy will be accounted for.”

 

 

“And with the addition of your two sons, does it change the outcome of your report?”

 

 

This was the bit John was dreading since he first ran the probability programme.  Based on the number of Alphas currently mated with Omegas, their chances of conceiving children and the chances of those being born male (therefore Alpha,) meant that the Alpha gender were likely to be wiped out within two or three generations.  It was all there in his report; he had already factored in his sons’ statistics despite them having not signed.  “No sir, it doesn’t.”  That was the wrong answer to give to his superior.

 

                “John, do you even realise what could happen if America had no Alphas?!  We would be the laughing stock of the world!  Anyone who wanted to invade us could quite happily waltz in with an Alpha Army and have their way!  No!  We can’t let that happen.  We need a whole new generation of Alphas and soon.  Happily, I have a plan but we need to act fast.  John I am depending on you to get this working, if the Alpha Sec can pull this off there will be serious rewards for everyone!  I could see a Captaincy coming out of it for you.  It will be tough and you cannot tell another soul of what you are doing!  Are you with me Winchester!”

 

 

                “Yes sir.”  John was sold after the word Captaincy; if he couldn’t get respect from his family he would get respect from his soldiers.  It was a thought that had been playing on his mind.  Not only could other countries take over with an Alpha Army, but there’s the potential that other countries with Pale-Ones as a majority population might decide to take revenge and attack with a Sire Army.  As far as he could tell the Government were putting in treaties in place to ensure no one would attack America whilst the wounds from the Civil War were still healing, but it was at the cost of sanctions and worldwide reprimands for declaring war on the Pale-ones on the first place.  It would set America into a recession for the next thirty to forty years.  With Azazel’s plan we could come out of this dark phase stronger, more powerful than ever, with a whole wave of Alphas in as soon as seventeen to eighteen years. 

 

 

“This is classified up to the highest level.  Not even the government knows about this plan.  We can’t have the world knowing about it, they might then see us as a threat and strike against us whilst we are still vulnerable.  I can only tell you what you need to do.  Nothing else.  You cannot ask for a bigger picture, leave that for me to worry about.”  John was nodding emphatically.  It all made sense to him, he was going to be part of a task force to save America.  The Winchester name will rise again to stand as a respected family, something to be proud of.  Might teach his sons a lesson or two about effort and sacrifice and hard work!

 

 

“What do I need to do?” 

 

                                                                  

“Glad you asked.  First phase is the protection of the remaining Alphas.  I need you to organise an uplift of all the Alphas, they need to be kept somewhere protected, like military bases.  I’ve organised one holding area per state, two in some areas.  The Alphas are to be brought to the closest military/research lab there they will be protected, fed and watered.  All we would ask in return is a donation, something they wouldn’t really miss, a sample of sperm that, with a bit of sciencey tinkering, could be used to impregnate an omega and guarantee an Alpha.  I’ve been working with the geneticists and they have found a way to eradicate all the little swimmers with the X chromosome, leaving all the swimmers with the Y chromosome free to claim their prize and create a strong Alpha son, ready to take on the world and to start their very own blood line, their own legacy.  It’s that easy!”    Azazel looked like he had already saved the world.  It was a good plan though, John thought.

 

 

“What if they don’t want to go to the research centres?” 

 

 

“Use your imagination John!  If they don’t come willingly then we might have to just take them.  It’s for the greater good!  If there are any witnesses well then, they are unfortunate collateral damage.”

 

 

“Right, collateral,” Can’t make an omelette and all that, John thought, “When does this start?”

 

 

“Now John, I need preparations to uplift Alphas starting now!  I want first uplift tomorrow morning oh-eight hundred hours!”  Azazel made a dismissive gesture with his hand, signalling for John to leave. 

 

 

Back at his office he picked up the information Azazel had given him.  Part of it was the report on the geneticists, John leafed through it to try and understand the science stuff.  Sam was always better at this kind of stuff.   From what John could make sense of, the male Alphas would donate a sample of sperm which would be filtered by some machine John couldn’t even pronounce to take all the sperm containing an X chromosome out.  Thus guaranteeing the sperm with a Y chromosome, needed to produce a male child would remain.  It was pretty clever, John thought.  That would then be implanted into an Omega by a procedure involving something that looked like a turkey baster.  John skipped the details of the procedure.  He didn’t need to know anything else. 

 

 

He thought of how he could deliver on his superior’s almost impossible task of getting an Alpha picked up in less than twenty-four hours.  He would have to start local, with the closest Alpha he knew: Dean.  He quickly switched to what he did best and organised the logistics of such a task.  It would have to be quick, and he had a suspicion there would indeed be collateral damage.  Dean had been following that Lisa girl about like a lovesick puppy for months now but has never claimed her, John wondered if there was something going on under the surface, not that it would matter for much longer.  Dean would be safely tucked away and protected and Lisa well, Lisa’s fate would be sealed soon enough.  John was more concerned about Sam finding out Dean had been taken, he would have to organise for Sam to be taken soon after Dean.  It was very frustrating that Sam had moved to the other side of America.  No matter, it would give John good practice co-ordinating an uplift from afar.  He got to his work and before long he had units of Beta reservists ready to mobilise to uplift Alphas at the drop of a hat.


	17. Chapter14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> It all starts kicking off!! 
> 
> Some top notch John Winchester parenting all up in here right now
> 
> "The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger." - 'Miss Missing You' By Fall Out Boy

Dean wrapped a possessive arm over his Omega when he felt her turn in bed. He spent a few minute scenting Lisa, cloaking her in his scent, protecting her from no good, low life Alphas who refuse to acknowledge the equality laws. He breathes her scent in return and feels the familiar comfort and pain that her scent brought him. Her body was soft and warm, always responsive to his touch, he in turn was comforted by the closeness he shared with Lisa, it was easy and relaxed. However the ongoing ache in his stomach, his body’s protest at the lack of a true mate wasn’t receding. Lisa shifted on the bed again, sitting up, Dean heard her gasp, he instantly smelled her tension, he sat up and tried to pinpoint the cause of her angst. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table it was three A.M

 

“What the fuck?!” Dean looked around the room, there were several men, Betas judging by their size, all dressed in black, balaclavas, full S.W.A.T. team gear. Guns were pointed on Dean, one single man had a gun trained on Lisa . Dean growled threateningly at the man, as futile a gesture as it was it made him feel slightly better. 

 

“Calm down, sir. If you co-operate, no-one will get hurt.” One of the men was saying.

 

“Calm down? Some asshats just pop into my house, pointing a gun at my Omega! So why am I staying calm again?” Dean let his words drip with venom and aggression. He was still trying to scan the men in uniforms for anything that would identify them. Then he saw it, a small emblem on the sleaze of the men, it was the same emblem that he saw on many officers during his enforced time in the Army. It identified them all as soldiers for the Alpha Fac. The same department that his dad worked for, Dean rolled his eyes. “Is this about the whole register thing? I’m on my way there this morning, the deadline isn’t until the end of the day.”

 

“Mr. Winchester we are going to ask you to come with us. It is a new decree from the Alpha Fac.” One of the soldiers produced a government stamped lettered addressed to ‘All Alphas.’ Dean skimmed over the document, basically demanding all Alphas turn themselves over to be ‘cared for’ by the Alpha Faction and some stuff about sperm that Dean couldn’t make sense of other than they wanted sperm samples. 

 

“I’m not going there. I’m perfectly safe here thanks. You can close the damn door when you leave.”

 

“We are going to have to insist Mr. Winchester.”

 

“Or what, you’re going to shoot me? Kinda defeats the purpose don’t you think?” Dean then had a horrible sinking feeling Lisa was still cowering behind him, grasping at his t-shirt. He hoped for her sake they were above black mail. That’s when he heard a couple of soldiers whispering at the back of the room.

 

“What about the girl?” Dean nicknamed him Junkless, he looked weird, and Dean was actively trying to stop from launching across the room and kicking him until he was... junkless .

 

“You heard what the boss said... collateral...” That one would be nicknamed Chuckles, he had a sour expression, Dean decided. Chuckles met his glare, Dean growled at them for talking about Lisa like that. 

 

“Right, yeah collateral... but how do we get the stuff, you know the pheromones?” Dean could only just make out the last few words, he was straining, the other soldiers seemed to be waiting for an order.

 

“Later, just focus on getting the Alpha.” Chuckles stopped whispering and addressed the other soldiers, “Well don’t just stand about someone, cuff him!”

 

“Don’t you fu-“ two soldiers advanced on Dean, one holding hand cuffs. Dean launched himself at the two and took them down with a couple well placed punches. His Army training in hand to hand must be rattling about in his head still. His hand throbbed after he heard a rather satisfying crunch, he was unsure if it came from his hand or the nose of one of the soldiers. He took out another one of the soldiers with a swift kick to their knee, making it face a very odd way and an uppercut to knock him out. He looked at Chuckles and aimed an attack towards him, time slowed down for a few moments, Chuckles unholstered his gun and aimed it towards Dean, who didn’t stop the advance, Chuckles then smirked and aimed it over Dean’s shoulder, towards Lisa. That had Dean stopping in his tracks, he wasn’t going to be responsible for her getting hurt, she was innocent. 

 

Time was still passing impossibly slow. As soon as he came to a stop there were hands everywhere, grabbing him, pushing him towards the floor, he felt the air rush out of his lungs and he hit the floor hard. His hands were cuffed behind his back, the soldiers locked the handcuffs too tight, already he could feel the metal pull at the flesh around his wrists, and it was going to hurt. He writhed about trying to find Lisa in the mêlée, to make sure she was ok. She was curled up on the bed arms hugged around her knees her head bowed looking down at her feet, she was crying helplessly but looked unhurt, Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad that she wasn’t watching him being taken to the floor, he could only hope if and when he got out of this mess Lisa would still see him as worthy of protecting her.

 

“Winchester, on your feet.” Dean was pulled to his feet by the many hands still grabbing at him. “You are being held in accordance to the decree invoked by the Alpha Fac, stating ALL Alphas on the register are to be brought to an area of protection. Those not on the register are to be turned in by their next of kin to allow the Alphas to be taken to an area of protection. For your own protection and the protection of the Alpha gender your rights to free will be temporally suspended.” Dean looked down at the Beta reading him his lack of rights. He could feel his neck hairs standing on edge, he barred his teeth and lashed out at the soldier, struggling to free his hands from the cuffs . 

 

Within seconds he was bent double his arms being forced away from his shoulder, Dean’s left shoulder protesting at the awkward position. Dean eventually stopped his struggling after a few minutes. He was brought upright once again. He gave Chuckles a glare, in return chuckles just looked bored, “Alright let’s move out, quieter the better.” Dean was lead outside, five soldiers left a firm grip of him, marching him out to the van waiting for him. The van was the only vehicle outside the house. The night was still eerily calm and quiet, the surrounded houses all looking undisturbed and peaceful. Dean envied them no end.

 

“Look guys, maybe we can talk about this I’m on my way to see my dad... I-“ Something caught his eye, the rest of the soldiers were marching out of the house very quickly, something had Dean on edge, he was worried about Lisa. Something wasn’t right. Then he saw it, the flames were working their way through the house with an astonishing ease. His eyes searched out his bedroom window, there was already smoke coming out of the vents, within seconds the whole place was an inferno. He felt the heat from the flames. Dean renewed his efforts against his bonds, tearing the skin around his wrists. Lisa was still in there ! “HEY!!!! THERES SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE HER!! LISAAAA!” Dean felt the shock on his neck as the Taser shot knocked him out straight away, dropping him to the floor .

 

When Dean came to he was on a bed. Not his bed, was he in a hospital, no, there were bars on the window. Prison maybe? It was a bit too clinically clean for a prison. Dean sat up and took in his surroundings. He was wearing a jumpsuit, like a prisoner, he didn’t even want to consider if he had boxers on underneath, some creapo must have changed him. He was in a room with three brick walls and one clear wall, not glass but still see though. He had a toilet, sink and bed. There were some skin magazines in the corner ‘Busty Asian Beauties.’ None of it mattered when the last memory before he was zapped hit him like a train. Lisa was dead, murdered by the same government organisation that his dad worked for . His Omega, the woman he was supposed to be protecting, was dead. Ben, her son, he was just in the next room, did he get out? Is he dead too? Dean’s head swam, potentially two people were dead because of him, was he cursed? Why was it that everything he touched get taken away from him, or broken? A wave of self loathing washed over him. He didn’t blame himself directly for Lisa’s death but she would still be alive if he never edged himself into her life. And for what? Just so he had someone to show off to his dad. He held his head in his hands and shook and the tears flowed freely. Dean lost himself for hours, the grief came in torrents of different flavours . He grieved for his Omega and her life that was taken . He grieved for Ben, who he promised to protect, to raise, to show how to fix up cars. He grieved only briefly for his own life, his job, his home. Then another thought stuck him. Sam. If they were picking up all the Alphas Sam would surely be next, Sam would know something would be wrong if Dean didn’t answer the phone after a day or so. His grief was replaced quickly with new fear and anger. He was up banging against the clear wall, screaming for anyone to give him answers.

 

“Hey!! Anyone!! HEEEEYY!” He screamed until he was hoarse. Eventually he saw a figure approach the glass. 

 

“Hi Dean.”

 

“Dad?!” John answered with a small nod. “What the hell is happening?!”

 

“Did they not tell you? You’re here for your own protection. Can have the last few remaining Alphas being ran down by buses or catching some disease.”

 

“Yeah they told me with a gun pointed to my head!”

 

“Well Dean, you were never very good at following instructions so I anticipated you would need a bit more convincing.”

 

“You anticipated? This was your idea? They killed Lisa! Was that your idea too?!”

 

“I simply got told we needed to gather everyone from the register up so they could be protected. At any cost ...”

 

“So if others get hurt it’s fine is it?! She was innocent.”

 

“It’s very unfortunate Dean. When I lost my mate I...” John’s voice caught, he changed the subject, “You are so well protected here. No one is going to be able to hurt you. If you and your brother had signed earlier, followed my instructions sooner, we might not be in this mess! I could have organised something a bit, homier. Arranged the pickup when Lisa was away, we could have tracked you better. But no, you had to be awkward and I had to move fast.”

 

“Your instructions?! I might have forgotten them when you tried to bash my head in!” Dean pulled up to his full height and looked through the clear divider and stared his father in the eyes. Dean had never called his dad out for his abuse before .

 

“I can’t help if you and your brother are two stubborn asses! You’ve never been the son I wanted you to be! At least Sam was making something of himself! But you! You must have turned him or something! He’s becoming just as bad as you!” John hissed through clenched teeth, slamming his fist into the clear wall separating them. He remembered himself, smoothed his uniform down and started in a neutral voice. “Your government is going to great care to protect you, to keep your location safe. You will be fed and watered, you will have access to showers and exercise whenever you like. All we ask in return is sperm samples, for medical research. There is reading material in the corner, containers are in the desk drawer.”

 

“Why?!” 

 

“You don’t get it! You never could get anything through that damn skull of yours! Alphas are a dying gender! Without Alphas, America is susceptible to invasion, attacks. We’d be doomed!” 

 

“And whose fault would that be?” Dean grumbled, Sam was right about everything, the register, the sudden interest in numbers of Alphas, how off everything was.

 

“You stubborn shit! Why can’t you just do as you’re told!? With the research going on we can guarantee two or three generations of strong Alpha sons. We just need samples. It’s really not hard Dean .”

 

“Dad,” Dean’s voice was more broken, his mind wandering back to his brother. “Where’s Sam?” 

 

“Sam should have signed up sooner as well. He will be collected soon enough. We had to get the unregistered accounted for. That was you two.” John spoke with a calm that unnerved Dean. As if he couldn’t see how fucked up the situation was.

 

“Dad, please! Don’t do this to Sam! He’s innocent. He’s going to be a lawyer! He’s going to marry Jess! He’s going to have lots of pups! Please!” Dean was desperate, his fate seemed sealed but there was no reason why Sam had to suffer it too. He had so much life still to live. Dean dropped his head in hopelessness, he was powerless in this fishbowl cell .

 

“We all have to do our bit, the Winchester name will be up there with the great Army leaders, just like it was before.” John smiled at the thought. Dean blinked as his father’s words filtered through the air. John was doing this for himself, any actual sense of duty, caring whatever stemmed from what he was going to gain.  
Dean lifted his head, his eyes fell on his father in a murderous stare, he watched his Dad shake his head before walking away, leaving him once again to his thoughts. He paced around his room-cell, tried to take his anger and frustration out of the furniture but it was all nailed down. He banged on the clear wall and shouted for someone, anyone for hours, until his throat was too dry and rasped to do anymore. He collapsed onto the bed, his grief caught up with him now that he stopped moving and he wept, with greater force that he thought possible. The thoughts swirling around Sam, his impending capture and the fact Dean was helpless to warn his brother. He thought of Lisa and Ben, lives lost because of him. He fell into a fitful sleep, waking every hour either trying to find his Omega next to him or shouting for Sam to run.


	18. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> Thanks to Inferification for flagging up a slight mistake on my part. It has now been resolved :)
> 
> Lets the emotional trauma continue
> 
> "Remember this,  
> Remember this for what it was."
> 
> Devil's Island by Architects

It took precisely twenty-four minutes for Sam’s life to be completely destroyed.  He was lying in bed when his eyes flew open, he could hear someone downstairs.   The clocked blinked the time, two forty-three A.M He stood quietly, reaching for the bat he kept under his bed.  He padded down stairs softly, bat raised ready to kick the intruder’s ass.  When he turned into the kitchen, he was faced with the barrel of a gun.  It was a MP5A3 red sight with a silencer attachment, standard issue for Alpha Army soldiers, on stealth missions, Sam knew his guns inside out.  What he didn’t know was why a Beta was holding a gun on him.  He used the bat to knock it out of his hand before charging into the Beta.  Sam managed to get him to the floor and unconscious with a few well-placed hits.  When he spun round to return upstairs to his Omega, he froze at the sight in front of him.

 

Jess, his True Mate, was being dragged down the stairs kicking and screaming by another Beta, Sam now had three more guns pointed towards his head.  One of the soldiers shouted, “Someone shut her up!”

 

“YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!”  Sam’s voice was deep commanding.  He was in full Alpha mode now, protecting his Omega.  The Beta instinctively let her go, obeying the Alpha’s commands, Jess ran into Sam.  He held her close and exhaled over Jess, scenting her, trying to soothe her, keeping her facing him and away from the guns that were now aimed at her as well.  “Who are you people?  No don’t answer, I know.  The Alpha Army.  Fine.  What do you want?”

 

“We are here to protect you Mr. Winchester, we need you to come with us.”

 

“No.  This is about my Dad isn’t it!?  Well I’m signing the damn register later.  He doesn’t need to send a friggin’ Army.”

 

                “We cannot discuss this here; we insist you come with us Mr. Winchester.  Now!”

 

                Sam feared for Jess more than he did his own life at this point.  “Fine.  Jess goes upstairs, alone and I will come with you.  Ok?”

 

                “Whatever, just hurry up!”  The man looked shifty, Sam couldn’t put his finger on it but he didn’t stop to think anymore.

 

                “Jess go upstairs, stay away from the windows, if I’m not back tomorrow, it’s my dad, you need to get someone to investigate!  Go!  Hurry!”  Sam hushed instructions as quietly as he could to Jess.  She looked petrified, her eyes wide with terror.  He leaned down and gave one final exhale and covered her in his scent, Jess looked up to him and nodded with purpose, she would be brave for him, she stepped away from him and ran up the stairs.  If Sam knew what was going to happen in the next few minutes, Sam would have never let her go, he would have held on to her for dear life, would have found the words to express his love for Jess.  He tensed when a soldier followed her.  “We had a deal!”

 

                “Relax he’s just getting a sample, she’ll be fine.”  Sure enough the soldier returned moments later, Sam relaxed, just an inch.  “So you come with us now.” 

 

                Sam jutted his chin in defiance and stood tall as he was handcuffed.  He would meet whatever was coming, he would deal with it and he would get back to Jess.  One of the Alphas was reading something out to him, Sam was only half listening, he was focusing on getting through this without exploding into an Alpha rage.  He walked with the soldiers outside, Sam couldn’t help but count them all, just to make sure they were all out of the house.  One was missing; his heart skipped a beat until he saw the final soldier walk out.  He saw a flash of golden hair shine in the moonlight through one of the windows on the upper floor, the window in the hallway, Jess wasn’t in the bedroom, it made Sam squirm with unease, he willed Jess to let him go.

 

                Being dragged away from his Omega was the worst feeling he could possibly imagine, it felt like his heart was being pulled and stretched to cover the distance between him and Jess.  It physically hurt to be pulled further away.  Sam wanted to fight, he wanted to claw and fight and battle his way back to Jess.  The only thing holding him together was the fact she would likely get used against him, she would get hurt.  He took a breath to ground himself and force himself to move forwards.

 

                “SAAAAAM NOOO!”  Sam turned to see Jess standing on the front porch, staring at him in horror, she raced down the steps towards him, before he could think one of the guards was tackled her to the floor.  There, Jess was scratching and clawing at the solder, he hadn’t managed to get a hold of any of his weapons, he was using his arms to protect his face.  Jess managed to climb on top of the soldier and jumped up to keep running towards Sam, she was no more than five strides from him when there was a shot, dulled by the silencer.  Jess’ face froze in disbelief, her eyes turned instantly glassy and wide, she fell forwards, her arms didn’t reach out to save herself, she landed hard onto her front before rolling lifelessly onto her side, facing Sam.  Blood was already covering the path, Jess’ pyjamas turning red seeping out from her front, on the left side.  Sam attempted to stumble forwards and collapse next to her, to see if there was any chance she was still alive.  He happened to glance at the watch on her wrist as the blood started to pool around it.  It read three-o seven A.M.  Sam’s voice finally caught up his chest filled with unchecked, pure Alpha fury, “YOU K-“  Sam was taken down by a Taser to the neck, silencing him.  Twenty-four minutes was the time it took for Sam’s life to be destroyed.

                When Sam woke he wished he never had.  He wished he could just plummet over the edge into oblivion, at least he might find Jess there.  He could already feel the difference in himself, there was a hollowness deep within him so deep that it seemed endless.    He stared at the blank ceiling and took in the blank walls.  Sam didn’t have the will to expend energy sitting up, he simply kept breathing.  That was all Sam could bring himself to do, even then it was hard to muster the strength to keep going.  His Mate, His True Mate was murdered in front of his eyes.  He heard voices coming from the corridor, followed by a knock at the door.  Sam had no idea if he was in a cell or a room, they entered after a moment, he followed the Beta carrying a tray with his eyes.  The Beta spoke, “You should eat something, you took a real knock earlier.”  Sam stayed silent, letting his eyes gaze up to the roof once more.  The Beta approached him and gave him a piece of paper and left.  Sam numbly opened the letter and read it.  It was a message from his dad, explaining what was going on.

 

                _Sam_

_You probably won’t read this so I’ll keep it brief.  You are being kept safe from harm.  All the Alphas are being protected, the future of the Alphas are key to ensuring to America’s worldwide status.  All the Alpha Secc ask is for a sample every few of days.  It’s really nothing you or your brother are going to miss.  You’ll be home before you know it, once we get some form of programme up and running.  Then you and Jess can get on with making your own family._

_John_

Sam skimmed the words without really seeing them, other than Jess’ name in the same sentence as _Family_ , Sam had lost his future family, the pups Jess was going to give him, Sam had managed to build his life into something he loved, something he understood.  He had his perfect life all served to him on a plate, all Sam had to do was reach out and take it.  Sam often had pleasant daydreams imagining him and Jess when they were old, Sam’s greying hair still falling around his face as he bends down to kiss Jess, their children coming to visit them on holidays, because they have all managed to get into college or are away following their dreams.  He always hated the thought of having children who stayed at home like Dean did, out of some sense of duty.  No, Sam would rather his kids flew the nest and went out and owned the world.  His little pups would be the next generation of World Leaders, life changing surgeons, or the most compassionate nurse, it didn’t matter to him.  Sam envisioned a house, a strong house that maybe he helped to build, or design, with surrounding porch, with seats that him and Jess could sit in, in the shade during the hot Californian summers.  Of course Dean would be somewhere close by, that was Sam’s dream.

 

                Now, his dream future has turned to a nightmare.  Everything was ruined and it was all down to his Dad.  The man had ruined everything for Dean through his whole life, now he had managed to ruin Sam’s too in a matter of minutes.  Even when Sam renounced John as his father, John clearly hadn’t headed his words.  From the sounds of it he also has lost his brother who was being held God knows where.  Sam grieved for his lost family.  He literally had nothing left worth fighting for.  The grief washed over him like a giant tidal wave, he was sobbing loudly, not caring who could see or hear him. 

 

                Maybe a week had passed, maybe a month, everything seemed to happen in slow motion and the situation only ever got worse.  One of the ‘carers’ came into his room and put a clear container onto the table.  “We need a sample Sam” was all that was said.  Sam didn’t partake in conversation these days, he had nothing to say to these people.  The ‘carers’ seemed to be a mix of weedy looking Betas and Omegas.  Sam wondered what kind of psychos they were or whether they genuinely believed the pro-Alpha ‘protection’ propaganda that must have been doing the rounds.  Sam made no move to go along with their requests, they asked every couple of days for a sample, a _sperm_ sample no less.  Sam had no interest in learning what they wanted it for, nor did he have any interest in giving it to them, how could he?  Once again the container lay empty for the rest of the day.


	19. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "I was created by self righteous tears,  
> Not from Devil,  
> Not from Demon,  
> But from those who preach."
> 
> Power Through Fear - Rise To Remain

Colonel Azazel looked down from his viewing spot at the younger Winchester brother.  Fucking Winchesters, Azazel thought, more hassle than their worth.  The older brother was raising merry hell in Kansas, needing frequent sedation to stop him attaching every Beta that dared enter his room.  This one, in contrast, has barely moved in the three weeks he’s been here.  He turned away from the one way window when the scientist approached.  The Omega scientist was constantly nervous looking and jumpy, he was based in the local college, drafted in to help with the programme.

 

"Hey... er sir?”  The scientist asked

 

“It had better be good news, I don’t do well with disappointment, Dr Shurley.”

 

“Yeah... Um... the Alpha...  he doesn’t produce any samples, I have nothing to work with,”  Dr Chuck Shurley, professor in genetics, wasn’t overly glad to have his life turned upside down by the government, _demanding_ his services.  He really didn’t mind that the Alpha boy didn’t produce samples, it wasn’t his favourite job.  He longed to go back to Kansas and hide in his small apartment again.  He was sick and tired of being dragged around the country, teaching other geneticists his theories and how to use them on Alpha sperm samples.

 

"What about the other experiment?”  Azazel was looking like he was about to break Chuck in two.

 

“That one is more promising.  Um, using the saliva sample from the Omegas, I’ve managed to extract some pheromones and process a level of concentration that you would be able to put into the air conditioning system, allowing natural, er... arousal, which might er... enable more samples to be taken from the Alpha.  There’s a simple enough way we can form synthetic pheromones from the original saliva sample, should keep working for around three to five years?”  The sentence sounded like a question, Chuck had no idea how long the Alphas were going to be ‘cared’ for.

 

“Have you tried it on him yet?”  The colonel nodded back to Sam, still laying, unmoving on the bed. 

 

“Um no.  But, isn’t his Mate dead?”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”  Azazel shot him a venomous look that made the Omega scientist shrink a few inches. 

 

“No, sir.  I’ll try tomorrow.”

 

“Now!”

 

“What?!”

 

 “Try it!  Right now, I have to fly back to D.C in few hours.  I want to see if it works.”  Azazel turned his back to Dr. Shurley and watched with interest at the one way glass.  He heard the scuffling of the scientist as he rummaged and scuttled about getting ready.

   

Sam was numbly counting the blemishes on the roof.  It’ll nearly be food time surely, the rumble of his stomach was the only way he knew time was passing.  He slept, he ate then he simply waited for the next time he would sleep, or eat.  He had to find things to keep his brain off what was happening, in the first few days weeping was the one other thing he did other than eat and sleep.  He felt like all will had abandoned him, a brief look around his surroundings deemed immediate escape futile.  When he attempted to talk to the carers, they all but pretended he didn’t exist.  So he did them all a favour and pretended to not exist.  He now spent his days doing nothing, not thinking, not talking, only ever eating and sleeping.  Then something changed.  It was subtle to begin with, it was a familiar scent.  It smelled like ginger and cinnamon, mixed with a smell he revelled in, a new book.  Jess.  It smelled like Jess.  Sam sat bolt upright, it made his head spin.  He looked around the room for her before he could rationalise what was happening.  The smell was so strong in his nose, flooding his senses; his body naturally reacted to the scent of his mate.  His Alpha nature took over, he blindly searched for his mate, destroying the room as he went, overturning the mattress, nearly ripping the sink off the wall, the animalistic side not bowing to the logic that she was gone.  His cock became achingly hard, his pulse was racing, he tried to control it.  To tell his body this wasn’t real.  None of it is real Jess is gone, there’s no way, the painful ache grew as his knot built up, he needed to release the pressure!  He found the closest thing he could find.  There was a container on the desk, he baulked at the thought of giving the sickos what they wanted but the pain was unbearable, the Alpha nature demanding release already.  He ripped the lid off and hastily stroked himself to completion, having to lay down to work though the aftershocks until his knot receded. 

 

As soon as the container was put on the floor, one of the carers came into his room and took it away.  Sam couldn’t help but feel his predicament just got a whole lot worse.  He couldn’t bring himself to care.  Jess’ scent had all but diluted away, he missed it already.  Sam had the flash of a memory, the first day he met Jess he swore there and then he was addicted to Jess’ scent, now someone knows it and is happy to facilitate his addiction, with a price. 

 

“It worked sir, we have a sample. Seems to be an effective way of getting one... Sir...”

 

“Good, well now you know what to do if you need another one.”  Azazel looked smug, he looked at one the soldier that was his minion, “Spread the word to the other research centres, and get me John Winchester on the phone, I need to tell him something.”

 

He was immediately passed a cell phone.  John answered “Yes Sir?”

 

“John, good I have a solution to the problem of your older son!  I need you to follow these exact instructions...”  Azazel relayed the plan to use Dean’s supposed True mate pheromones to force him to knot, thus obtaining a sample.  “In fact I’ll just get the geeks to swap the details, I just need you to be there to make sure it all goes smoothly.”

 

“Yes, Sir”  Azazel hung up the phone, he liked John Winchester, so willing to do anything for  a cheap bit of credit to his name, even selling out his own kids.


	20. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "It's like naughts and crosses,  
> in that opposites attract."
> 
> 'Always Attract' - You Me At Six

There was a feeling of apprehension as Castiel approached the research facility. The last three weeks had been a blur of investigating, planning and general sleuthing. Three weeks ago Castiel was looking into the Winchester’s story, again, willing himself to be brave enough to make the trip to Lawrence, to ask Dean Winchester some questions about his ordeal. That day he googled ‘Winchester, Alpha, Dean’ only to find the horrific story that detailed the death of his Mate, Lisa Braeden in a house fire, since then Dean Winchester had been listed as missing, as a possible suspect. Castiel shook his head. He had never met Dean Winchester, hell he hasn’t even seen a picture of the man but something told him that Dean wasn’t the kind of man to start a house fire to kill someone, whether they were his Mate or not . He couldn’t explain what made him take note of the story, his editors would have been fine with him printing the story about the soldier who came from war just to start a fire killing a young woman. Something with Castiel that was Dean, not his Dean , the Dean that he had stupidly built up in his imagination.

 

The Dean in Castiel’s mind was strong, selfless and brave, would take on the world if he had to. Dean would have deep hazel eyes, so deep he could see into his soul, his hair might be blonde, maybe brown, and quite short. Castiel had all but painted a picture of this stranger in his head. It made him feel stupid sometimes, Dean Winchester didn’t even know he even existed, didn’t care. Now he was gone and Castiel was probably never going to get the chance to meet him now. 

 

Castiel had a brainwave. If he couldn’t get to Dean, he could try get a story from Sam Winchester although it would go against Dean’s request to respect his privacy, which Castiel didn’t like the idea of doing. He typed Sam into the computer, his face fell into an intense frown at what he saw. ‘War Hero AWOL after house break-in.’ As he skimmed through the article, it chronicled the murder of Jessica Moore and her True Mate Sam Winchester hasn’t been seen since before the incident . He was also being suspected of involvement but hasn’t been found. Castiel sat puzzled looking at the stories. They were two men on nearly opposite ends of the country so of course not many people would take notice of the two disappearances. It just didn’t sit right still, two of the government’s precious Alphas were missing and nothing more than a slight ripple had been made in the media. 

 

Castiel spent one week in Lawrence around Dean and Lisa’s house, asking around neighbours. They only had good things to say about the couple. No one had any idea how it could have happened. It was his week in Stanford, in California that really started to ring the warning bell. When he asked Sam’s neighbours, other students, about what happened, they looked very shifty, reluctant to answer. It was only with a very generous ‘donation’ to one guys ‘pot fund’ that he managed to find out there was a van snooping about the area the day prior to the ‘break-in.’ It was all very suspicious and Castiel couldn’t let it go. He started hacking away at local police reports about the incidents, they didn’t help to sooth his concerns. They were done perfectly, all typed out neatly, with the same language used in both of the boys’ reports, as if they were done by the same person. He took a different angle with his digging into classified files, he started looking for general movement in the Alpha Section of the Government, the ‘Alpha Sec’. That’s when he came across some orders for the Beta reservists, it was all quite cryptic, words like ‘uplift,’ ‘samples,’ ‘collateral damage,’ were all words that stuck in Castiel’s brain. He found the address and recruitment request for Betas and Omegas for the research facilities for ‘Carers.’ It made Castiel nervous as to what the hell that meant but he needed to get to the bottom of the story. It wasn’t just about getting the story that was going to spark his career to new heights anymore, the more he thought about Dean Winchester, the more he had to find out what happened, he needed to find this man, make sure he was ok. It was now like an itch he couldn’t scratch, like the hole that used to sit quietly empty was now a roaring, gaping hole, engulfing more of him the more he ignored those feelings . 

 

So here he was, at the door of the research facility in Kansas, about half an hour south of Kansas City. He had to create a whole new identity, no government facility in their right mind would hire a journalist. He arrived at the gate and got his papers ready, he nodded to the guard and produced his papers.

 

“Jimmy Novak?”

 

“Yep, that’s me.” Castiel cursed himself, how stupid did he sound. Only in idiot imposter would say something like that, which he absolutely was .

 

“Right, straight up the sidewalk, into the building on you left, I’ll buzz up to the main door, let them know you are coming.”

 

“Ok. Thanks.” Castiel did as instructed. He showed his paperwork to the guard in the main building. He looked a lot less friendly so Castiel stayed silent.

 

“Buggers didn’t tell me there were any new starts today. The other guy is out the compound, he won’t be back till later. Hang on.” The guard was on his cell phone, “Hey Chuck I need you to come here, there’s someone here to see you. “Yes it’s important!” The guard hung up and simply stood still, looking past Castiel until a short, flustered man in a lab coat came hurrying out the secure area.

 

“What? What is it!?” The man with the lab coat looked up to the guard.

 

“New start. Needs someone to show him the ropes.”

 

“That’s not my job! I experiment, I don’t actually ever look after...”

 

“Well Gordon got taken out this morning, he’s in hospital with concussion.” The guard nodded through to the secure area, “He’s been given enough sedation until dinner time, then its go time with your experiment so we need an extra pair of hands, so, Shurley, you will show him where everything is.”

 

The Shurley guy sighed, “Fine.” He turned to Castiel, defeated, “Follow me.”

 

“Sure, I’m Jimmy by the way.”

 

“Professor Chuck Shurley, you can call me Chuck.” They entered the secure area, Chuck giving Castiel all the codes as they walked through. Castiel kept quiet, hoping he would find out what exactly the research facility was for before he got found out for being an imposter. He was technically trespassing on federal property. Chuck stopped abruptly, in a dipped voice he practically whispered, “for the record, I don’t agree with this but the Alpha Sec demanded my skills and knowledge, there was no avoiding it .” 

 

“I see. Well we all gotta work, huh?” Castiel blagged vaguely. Kicking himself again, he never did too well with his general investigating skills. His type of preferred journalism involved facts, figures, studies, science already laid out in front of his, he just had to tell a story to turn it into a news worthy story. 

 

“Right... sure.” Chuck didn’t look convinced at his response, but let it go and pushed through a final locked door. 

 

Castiel glanced around taking in everything in the huge room, there were two stories, all open plan apart from a cell type room at the other side. On the higher level there was a laboratory, it was clear to see from all the flasks and test tubes and various bits of machinery. On the lower floor there was a small kitchenette with a fridge and microwave. There was also a sofa acting as a divider between the kitchen and the rest of the room. “So, your main duties are to heat up food and help to wash the Alpha, but our one is kinda, um, well he’s not overly happy to be here so we generally keep him sedated so he sometimes doesn’t follow the normal routine.”

 

“I see, sure. Alphas can be a really pain in the ass right?” Castiel tried to joke

 

“Our one definitely,” Chuck walked over to the cell like room, it had a Perspex wall, with a door set into it and three brick walls on the other sides. “Here he is, Kansas’s contribution to continuing the Alpha gender, Dean Winchester, or as the Alpha Sec have named him A001. He was the first Alpha to be picked up three weeks ago.”

 

Dean Winchester. Those words struck through him like a shot of lightning. He glared at the body lying in his back, there was an IV drip running into his arm, he was breathing deeply, his eyes closed from what Castiel could see. He couldn’t explain what was happening to him, he was suddenly feeling warm, the sight of Dean Winchester set his heart racing, he felt like he wanted to fly, he wanted to break this man out just so they could go for a coffee together . Castiel wanted to get to know Dean. Then the IV drip and it’s potential implications made itself a worry in his stomach. “Is he sick? Why has he got a drip in?”

 

“Oh um, as I said, he has to be sedated to he gets hydrated with drips. Poor guy. WAIT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!” Castiel wasn’t even aware he had reached for the door in the Perspex wall to open it, to enter Dean’s world. It felt so right, Dean didn’t deserve to be here. He felt the slam of a hand shoving his away.

 

“Sorry. I just wanted to meet him! Never mind.”

 

“Well he’ll be up in maybe an hour then we have to run an experiment. He’s really not going to like it and we need someone to help the security guards hold him whilst I give him, yet more sedatives to make him more comfortable. It’s err... going to be unpleasant.”

 

“Then why do you do it?” Castiel couldn’t help shake the feeling this scientist guy didn’t want to be here, he was clearly an Omega as well as himself, and clearly very uncomfortable with what he was asked to do.

 

“The same reason he is,” Chuck nodded towards the Alpha laying lifeless on the bed, in the cell, “The Alpha Sec asked me to be here and the answer no didn’t seem to stick. Anyway, you get the gist, keep him alive, and if he happens to willingly give a sample of his semen it is your job to get it as quickly as possible.” With that Chuck turned and walked away, leaving Castiel to gaze upon Dean. 

 

This was the object of his quest, he had set out to find the story behind the Winchester disappearances, it should have come as no surprise to him that when he got what he wanted, it was always given to him in some cruel and twisted way. It was the same as when he was younger, anytime he wanted something for himself, he would have to earn it, doing extra duties for his siblings or having to pass tests to show his supplication. Even then his rewards were brief and often cruelly taken away as soon as his siblings deemed him unworthy. Now fate seemed to be playing a sick joke on him, here’s your prize, he’s dosed up and held captive, enjoy . 

 

Castiel shook himself from his thoughts, why did he care so much about one stupid Alpha, why was he even here? He was in search of a good story, fine, he has one now, so why isn’t we walking back out of the facility. Why is he guaranteed to come back tomorrow to see Dean. Castiel tried to reason with himself, maybe he needed more for his story, false. Maybe he could break Dean out today... With all those guards with guns? Unlikely. Castiel knew deep down he wanted to meet Dean, speak to him, he wanted to know what the Alpha smelled like. He couldn’t see much of Dean’s appearance from this angle, although he could tell he was right about the hair colour, Dean’s hair was dark blonde, almost sandy, it was ruffled from sleep, well Castiel wondered if it was ruffled from various conflicts with the security. Dean generally looked tall, well built but couldn’t quite see any facial features from this angle. Castiel stood watching him sleep for what felt like minutes, but have been much longer. When the supposedly lifeless body spoke, it made him jump. 

 

“You just gonna stand there and watch me sleep like some creepo?” Dean’s voice was husky, hoarse and crackled.

 

“E-excuse me?” Castiel couldn’t believe Dean was actually speaking to him. The great Dean Winchester.

 

“Your staring at me, it’s creepy, fuck off already.”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, I just um, do you need anything?”

 

“The fuck to you care what I need?” Castiel tried not to feel hurt, Dean was obviously not going to trust him, 

 

“My name is Jimmy Novak, I started today, as a carer, is there anything you need?” Castiel repeated the question, cursing himself on how stupid he probably sounded.

 

“I need to get out here,” Dean twirled a finger in a circular motion, gesturing the cell/room, “Failing that I need you to fuck off, leave me alone.” The words coming out of the Alpha were slightly slurred, as if he was drunk, Castiel figured he was just coming out of a sedation fuelled slumber, still feeling its effects . 

 

He turned and headed for the couch separating the areas, “As you wish.”


	21. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
> "He's got blue eyes that shine like the sun."
> 
> 'I Swear She's the One.' - Sparks the Rescue (adapted)

Well that was new, Dean thought. Normally when a carer bothered to speak to him they would come in, poke and prod at him, assessing his consciousness, despite his protests and his requests for them to fuck off. This new guy was different, he actually went away, hell, the guy actually sounded hurt at Dean’s words. He never got a look at the new guy, he was still coming round from an enforced nap time after he knocked a carer out earlier today. He couldn’t really move yet, he felt very heavy, like he was trying to move through syrup. Dean wouldn’t get his hopes up, surely this new guy would just become the same as all the other assholes who work here. Sick fucks brainwashed into doing whatever the Alpha Sec wants them to do. Something about the creepy guy had him thinking, Jimmy? Was that his name? His voice sounded unsure, apprehensive, again, not the usual in this place .

 

Dean opened his eyes eventually and looked towards the upper floor. In his cell he could see a window on the second storey, a viewing gallery of sorts, normally there was no one there, occasionally some guy in a lab coat would look down on him with pitying eyes. But today, he saw the firm build, the arrogant, self-righteous posture, the dark hair and the unreadable hazel eyes of John Winchester. Dean closed his eyes and willed himself not to react, the near constant sedation was starting to get to him, whilst it was comforting and meant he didn’t have to think, the nightmares and the memories from the war, from his capture all kept running on a loop. Even his own mind was torturing him. He hated the idea that he would have to behave himself, simply for the reward of staying conscious but he couldn’t face another drugging. Maybe his creepo carer would come speak to him again; Dean was surprised at the thought. He hadn’t craved company since he arrived here, suddenly now he wanted someone to talk to? Any further thought on the subject was cut short, John moved away from the window, possibly making his way to the cell. Dean quickly started to test his movements, his muscles slowly started to wake up, he gingerly sat up, refusing to let his dad see him in such a vulnerable position as lying flat. His head was swirling as his body had to adjust to being upright, his head was pounding, he could feel his pulse behind his eyes, it made Dean want to lay down and sleep until more of the drug’s effects wore off, the stubborn Alpha in him wouldn’t allow it to happen . 

 

“Hello Dean.”

 

“What do you want now?” Dean put all his effort into sounding threatening, hating that what came out sounded more pathetic and desperate.

 

“You’ve been here for three weeks, being kept safe and treated well but you haven’t offered a single sample of semen! I don’t understand why you won’t help the efforts to safe Alpha kind!”

 

“Try because you are holding me prisoner! I-“

 

“I’m not here to argue with you Dean, we have an experiment and because you haven’t given a sample you are going to be the guinea pig.” John then turned to someone Dean couldn’t see, “Ok start it up.”

 

“What the fuck?!” the air conditioning system started up, Dean could feel the draft gently circulating him, it smelled familiar, fresh snow, summertime rain, it smelled like Lisa, how the hell was he smelling Lisa? It stirred the memory of the ache he always carried in his stomach when he was with her. A fresh stab of guilt washed over him when he realised he hadn’t felt that ache since she died. Her scent merely left him feeling more guilty about how he used her to please his Dad, how him knowing her had sealed her fate and killed her. Only the angry voice outside his cell yanked him from his thoughts.

 

“Why isn’t it working? You used the right sample right?”

 

“Yes... Sir definitely the right saliva sample. We did it just the same as with Sam.” Dean, riled at the thought of Sam being put in the same situation, it must be the scientist guy talking. 

 

“Then Why. Isn’t. It. Working?” Dean recognised the tone in John’s voice, it was the same one he used just before he started throwing punches. “Unless...” John’s furious gaze locked onto Dean. “That Omega, did you ever claim her?” 

 

“No, you killed her before we ever had the chance, why the hell are you pumping her scent into my cell? And what does he mean the same as Sam?!”

 

“When they did this with Sam, he gave a few samples in one day, the need was overwhelming, with you it’s, nothing.”

 

“What did you do with Sam? Dad, please let him go!”

 

“Unless,” John completely ignored Dean’s concerns about his brother. His gaze turned from furious, to confused; to shocked to murderous in the same time it took Dean to stand from the bad and stagger closer to the Perspex wall. “That Omega wasn’t your True Mate was she? You thought you could parade any slut in front of me! Try to convince me that you had actually turned into something worthwhile!? What were you so smug with your little plan that you presumed I wouldn’t work it out? Well Dean you are really thick as shit. Now that slut’s dead because of you, well done Dean.” John turned and strode off, Dean watched him go, barely registering the creepy short guy as John practically knocked him over by shoving past him .

 

“Dad, Wait!! What about Sammy!! Dad!” Dean banged his fist against the Perspex. He took a few breaths, willing himself to calm down. If he didn’t want to get drugged again he would have to calm down. Usually he would be tearing up the place, or at least attempting to, his knuckles were still scraped from one battle against the brick walls. Evidently he had lost that battle and woke up a few hours later with his hand bandaged up. Dean flexed his fingers, using the pain of the abused skin to ground himself. He turned his back to the Perspex and slid down the wall, sitting with his knees up to his chest, hugging them for support. His brother was defiantly being held, the same as him, they were also experimenting on him. Dean was helpless to do anything for his brother, how could he even begin to come up with a plan. It had been three weeks that him and his brother has been captured. Three weeks Dean has been powerless to help his brother. He only prayed that Jess was still alive. Dean blanched at the thought of Sam losing his Mate.

 

“Um, Dean? Are you Ok?” It was the new guy, Jimmy, his voice was deep, but smooth, he sounded genuinely worried, not that Dean would give any of the freaks who worked here the satisfaction of seeing how broken and hopeless he felt.

 

“Fuck. Off.” Dean suddenly didn’t have the energy to put any more effort into his usually colourful threats against his ‘carers.’

 

“I’ve been sent to see if you need sedated.” Dean snorted, surely he shouldn’t be telling Dean this, did the guy have a death wish or was he just stupid.

 

“And?” 

 

“Well, the only reason you would need sedated is if you are going to hurt yourself,” Dean was briefly surprised as to how in tune the new guy seemed to be with Dean’s thinking already, “So are you? Going to hurt yourself?”

 

Something inside Dean yielded, he had become used to the lack of choice, the lack of free will he had in this place, then here was this guy who actually went away when Dean asked, who had actually asked him a question and was actually awaiting a response. Dean just shook his head wordlessly, he was still exhausted from his last round of drugs. 

 

“Ok then, I’ll go let the professor know, if you’re up then, do you want something to eat? Drink?” Dean shook his head again; he was touched by the kindness held within the new guy’s voice. Dean snorted again, three weeks and he was getting tearful when someone genuinely asked him a question, how pathetic. Dean sat like that for a few minutes until he heard footsteps approaching the cell. “The professor agrees you don’t need sedated, I brought you some water,” Dean barely glanced up when the food slot newly installed in his door flapped open and a bottle of water was rolled towards him. He watched it as it came towards him, coming to a halt beside his hip. Dean stared at the bottle like it was a poisoned.

 

“You’re sure persistent, you know that?” Dean croaked out. His throat was dry and was protesting to Dean’s stubbornness in avoiding the water.

 

“So I’ve been told.” Dean sat there not saying anything, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Jimmy to go away, something about knowing he had company made him feel slightly less alone.

 

“Why are you here? You clearly aren’t the same brainwashed freaks who work here, so who are you?”

 

“I told you, my name Is Jimmy, I’m just a new start.” Something about Jimmy’s voice was off, there was just a touch of fear that Dean could hear, it set him on edge immediately. He decided he didn’t want to be around the asshat after all and stood to tell the carer to well and truly fuck off. However when he stood and faced the man for the first time, his angry words dissolved instantly in his throat.

 

The man on the other side of the Perspex had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen , they were so blue, they were sapphires shining directly at him. His hair was at odds with his serious expression, it was unruly and went off in all different directions. His face was settled into a frown, Dean wondered idly if he always frowned and if not, what he looked like when he smiled. Dean bet he had an intoxicating smile, one that would dazzle a room. Jimmy was wearing the same as all the other carers, green scrubs which, Dean noticed, only made his eyes seem more blue, he was maybe a couple inches shorter than him, more wiry but definitely not skinny. The man carried himself with an arch to his shoulders, as if trying to close himself off from the outside world. Dean wanted to find out more about Jimmy, what happened that made his so closed off? Dean wanted to smell him, get his scent in his head. It was a need that sent shock waves through him. He had generally dated females before but had been known to appreciate the odd male Omega, they were quite rare and always were very nice to look at . He even once dated a male Omega, Simon, when he was younger, it was fun, he really liked the guy, until John had caught then making out on his porch one night, Dean had managed to get Simon away before any punches were thrown, but Dean had landed up with a black eye and a warning to never darken his door with such behaviour again. It made Dean subdue his curiosities for Male Omegas, ironically, although Dean was still technically being controlled by his Dad, because he had broken free of John’s poisonous family ties, he felt freer than ever to explore his thoughts towards Jimmy. Dean wanted to reach out and stroke his chin, tilting it up towards his own mouth, maybe just a chaste kiss ...

 

Dean gasped and took a step back from the see-through wall. What the hell was happening to him? Moments ago he was being smothered with his dead girlfriend’s scent now he was lusting after one of his captors! Dean shook his head, a sickening wave of self-hatred slammed into him. Lisa should mean more to him, she had helped him feel something close to normal and suddenly less than a month after her death he was even thinking of someone else in that way. She deserved more that, she deserved more than him. He couldn’t help but be drawn to the man on the other side of the barrier, it nearly tore him apart. He was painfully conflicted and used the anger and disgust he felt towards himself to fuel the venom in his words , “Leave me the fuck alone you freak ! I don’t want to look at you! And I definitely don’t want to speak to you!!” Dean winced internally when Jimmy flinched; instead he walked back over to his bed and threw himself on it, facing one of the stone walls. He fell into a broken sleep, his brain consistently throwing up images of blue eyes and tousled dark hair.


	22. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please comment and (if you like what you are reading) kudos. any feedback, thoughts, outbursts of rage are all welcome
> 
> "So now I never know the things to say to you  
> That help me prove that I'm still on your side  
> I never show just what you do to me"
> 
> All Signs Point To Lauderdale - A Day to Remember

Castiel couldn’t explain why he was sitting in the toilet, gathering himself together.  His first interaction with the infamous Dean Winchester could have gone better, to put it mildly.  It was the ferocity that Dean had dismissed him that hurt, it felt like a solid punch straight to the gut, leaving him breathless.  Maybe it was because he was called a freak, although he should be used to it by now, or maybe if was just the fact the Alpha he had built up in his own mind was nothing like the Alpha that he just spoke to.  Castiel went to the small sink and splashed some cool water over his face, clearing his irrational, selfish thoughts.

 

The rational part of his mind took over, to judge Dean now would hardly be fair.  The man had literally been abducted by the government and they were now experimenting on him, trying to find a way to get those damn samples, it was disgusting, already Castiel was thinking about writing that story already, however, he couldn’t help that there was something more coming, that he should stick around and get the full story.  That meant he was going to have to earn Dean’s trust, possibly trusting Dean with the truth about him, who he really was.  It was a risk, but aside from that, Castiel wanted Dean to know _him_ , not Jimmy Novak.  Castiel generally avoided Alphas when possible, which was difficult in his line of work.  On the whole, on the rare occasion he would come across someone he liked, they were generally men, he had dated a couple of times, when Betas had asked him out.  The Omega nature he tried so desperately to subdue longed for a strong male Alpha to swoop in and whisk him off his feet, to take care of him in every way possible.  The rebellious side of Castiel balked at the idea of being so reliant on another person, to be essentially _owned_ by them.  For a brief moment when those jade green eyes locked onto him there was a small hint of a future.  It sat at the edge of his consciousness, like a dream he couldn’t quite remember, like he could reach out and grab it, if only it were more tangible, like there was one final piece of a puzzle that had to click into place.

 

Castiel emerged from the restroom.  Today was not the day to be trying to convince Dean of his loyalties.  He would have to work hard to get Dean to trust him, so he gave the Alpha some space and for the rest of the day, delivered his meals when prompted by the professor and thoroughly left Dean alone.  He would try again tomorrow if he was able to speak to Dean in as much privacy as possible.

 

Dean was kicking himself internally, he had successfully managed to push the one possibly half decent person in this place away.  It wasn’t Jimmy’s fault that his emotions had taken over, it all just came at him so quick, the grief, the painful acknowledgement that Lisa’s death had eased some of his burden.  He was crippled with the emotion and lashed out in defence.  Now, Dean thought, he would be lucky if the guy ever tried to speak to him again.  Dean spent the rest of the day processing his thoughts about Jimmy, how he could maybe coax him back into talking to him.  Dean had no idea why he even wanted the man’s company but something had seemed so gentle about the guy, actually caring.  Not to mention the Omega’s beauty, even when he flinched from Dean’s verbal attack, his eyes sparkled, bright eyes wide with fear.  Dean wished he could remove that image from his brain.  He wanted to replace that image with pictures of the man smiling.  Dean set himself a challenge, he would get Jimmy to speak to him, then he would make Jimmy smile.

 

Infuriatingly, the whole ‘being left to it on your first day’ was not the norm within the facility.  Castiel was shown his proper duties, the schedule and the emergency protocols, he was made to shadow other ‘carers’ and their approach to ‘handling’ Dean.  Which basically meant trying to take Dean’s vital signs, without success, until he got annoyed and lashed out at one of the carers, earning him a sedation whilst the carer went about taking his vitals whilst he was out.  Castiel was made to wait outside the cell during the process, it drove him mad, something inside was urging his to enter that cell.  For days, Castiel had to go along with the charade, never being able to even to signal to Dean what was happening, who he really was.  He watched Dean everyday very closely, studying his reactions.   Dean was a fairly open book, his emotions playing out clearly on his face, even when he was trying to keep his expression neutral, the anger and frustration and, at times, grief would betray him.  On one occasion Castiel could tell the carer prodding at Dean with a thermometer was about to get assaulted.  Dean looked bored to begin with, then as he was evasive, a small furrow in his brow as he dodged to oral thermometer.  When the carer started to get more forceful, Dean’s eyes were the things to give him away, he had a look that was one of cold death, a murderous glare that was a clear warning with anyone with half a brain.  Then Dean shoved the carer hard enough they stumbled back into the wall and hit their head off the brick wall.  An emergency cord was pulled and all of a sudden four security guards were on Dean and the carer plunged a needle into Dean’s arm, within seconds he was asleep, but not before he looked towards Castiel, as if pleading the Omega for help, as if the Omega _could_ help. 

 

It had been a few days since his outburst at Jimmy, Dean was right, he had blown it.  Jimmy hadn’t tried to talk to him never mind even entering the cell to see him.  One small advantage was that Dean had something to think about whilst he was stuck here.  He would make himself little bets, when he saw Jimmy, would he be smiling?  When he saw Jimmy would his hair be tousled like it was on that first day?  Most of his thoughts revolved around Jimmy.  It was a strange attraction Dean couldn’t figure out.  Maybe he was having a Stockholm Syndrome thing, at this point Dean was past the point of caring.  He focused on the new carer to avoid analysing the degree to which he was screwed here.   The drugs slowly made their way out of Dean’s system, that little nap he definitely didn’t deserve, in his humble opinion.  Dean wanted to try shoving a thermometer in their mouth and poke and prod at him with monitors like an animal, see how they like it.  When the emergency cord got pulled, Dean knew what was coming, security piled in.  He caught the sight of those twinkling cobalt eyes, it was an oasis of compassion in the situation raging with fear and anger.  He wanted Jimmy to intervene somehow, tell the security guards to leave him alone, that he didn’t deserve being drugged.  He pleaded with his eyes, willing Jimmy to help him, to _save_ him. Something quiet and deep, deep down inside knew was sure that Jimmy _could_ save him.

 

After one week, Castiel was entrusted to look be left along to look after Dean on his own.  He had his own syringe filled with a sedative.  Castiel prayed to any deity going that he would never have to use it.  It might just kill him to do it.  He was greeted by Cliff, one of the scarier looking, intimidating, but also the most friendly, security guard, “Mornin’ Jimmy first day solo huh?  You nervous?”

 

“Nah not really, should be fine, you guys are here right?”  Castiel hated having to go along with the charade and get along with these people who are willing to keep a human in captivity.  “out of interest, I see there’s cameras in the cell, who keeps an eye on those?”  Castiel was trying to get some information about his surroundings.

 

“Sure thing Jimmy.  Meh, no one really watches them.  The boss guy might watch a few days worth on fast forward, make sure carers aren’t skipping duties.”

 

“Any sound?”

 

“Some, not many though.  Government funding cuts, ridiculous right?  Why’s you ask?”

 

“Oh just in case, I’ll know to pull the cord straight away rather than trying to wave at the cameras to get help.”

 

“Sure...  Oh Chuck isn’t in today either, he’s been summoned to headquarters, then off to another base, I dunno.  He ain’t here so you just have chatty Cathy in there for company, bad luck.”

 

“Sure, thanks for the head’s up.”  Castiel’s heart gave a small squeeze of happiness.  He didn’t mind Chuck that much but he wasn’t sure where Chuck’s loyalties lay.  Not yet anyway.  He had to figure out a way to get through to Dean first.  The first thing Castiel did was get Dean some breakfast, it looked rather unappetising just some simple porridge.  There was nothing else on offer and it was better than nothing.  He made his way over to the cell, relieving the night time carer on duty.  Dean was sitting up on the bed with his legs crossed he looked thoughtful, Castiel wondered if the man had even seen or heard him coming.  Dean was a million miles away, as if watching a good memory playing out in front of him.  Castiel gave a small cough to signal his arrival, Dean’s eyes focused on the room, then on his.  His features sharpened and hardened fractionally, like he was annoyed at being disturbed.  “Morning, how are you today?”

 

“Fan-freaking-tastic.  You?”  Dean gazed down unseeing at the floor, as if he was trying to catch up with his day dream.  He was thinking about better times, simpler times.  He treasured his memories more than ever now he sometimes relived a memory trying to immerse himself in it so he could forget, even for a second, where he was.  He was usually undisturbed, the other carers didn’t bother to talk to him.  Jimmy seemed to be alone today, the change made Dean sit up a little, Jimmy seemed more relaxed than he had when he was with the other carers.  Dean took in the sight of the Omega, his hair was the usual scruffy mess that Dean actually really liked.  Jimmy’s eyes were soft, the blue looking a little bit lighter today, as if a bit less burdened.  He still stood with his shoulders rounded, making himself as small as he could.  Dean wondered what the man had been through to make that his normal stance.  Then Dean remembered he was supposed to be angry with Jimmy, he simply stood and watched as he was manhandled and drugged.  He didn’t even try to help.

 

“I’m fine.  Thanks.  I brought you breakfast.”

 

“You can shove it up your...”  Dean suddenly felt bone tired, as if he didn’t even have the will to threaten the carers anymore, he saw Jimmy wince, just slightly at his words.  Dean had promised himself he wouldn’t cause Jimmy to look like that again and he had failed after less than one week. “Just put it through.”  Dean continued.

 

“Here you go.”  Part of Castiel’s heart broke; this beautiful man was being eroded by captivity, his vitality being sapped slowly.  Castiel nearly walked into the cell but restrained himself, he should work up to that.  After he put the bowl though the food slot, he sat down, leaning his back against the see through wall, facing away from Dean.  He could feel the Alpha’s eyes on him, heard Dean come towards the door to gather his breakfast.

 

“Don’t suppose there’s any chance of a coffee?  Bastards can’t deprive a man of caffeine! ”  It was the only thing Dean to think to say, even then it was only half jokingly, before his capture he was pretty sure his blood was half coffee half actual blood.  The withdrawal was probably the reason for many of his outburst in the first few days.  Besides he wanted to try get the guy to talk so Dean figured it was best to stick to mostly neutral topics.

 

Castiel kept facing away from Dean but turned his head to the side to address Dean.  “I already tried.  There’s no coffee, just herbal tea.”  The small token of conversation given by Dean was a godsend. 

 

“Hippy freaks.”  Dean grumbled.

 

“Got that right.”

 

There was a quiet moment whilst Dean ate, the soft chick of the spoon against the plate was the only sound in the room,  the porridge didn’t suck as much as it usually did today.  It was still bland and tasteless but at least it was a good temperature, no horrible lumps of goop that turned his stomach, “You’re the new guy, Jimmy?  Right?”

 

“Um... Yeah, that’s right.” 

 

“What’s your deal?”

 

“My deal?” 

 

“Well you don’t seem to be one of those brain washed hippy freaks, so yeah, your deal?”

 

Castiel worried his bottom lip, he didn’t think Dean would believe him.  Not yet.  He _had_ to get Dean onside.  “It’s complicated.  I’m just not like the others.”  Was all Castiel could think to say. He heard Dean’s footsteps again, he saw in his peripheral vision that Dean put his bowl back in the food slot to be collected.  Castiel couldn’t help but notice it was the first time Dean had done that.  He heard Dean slide down the see through wall on the other side.  They sat, back to back, separated by Perspex. 

 

A snort came from Dean, “Whatever.” In a token sign of respect and gratitude, Dean took his bowl to the little slot in the door to his cell.  He wanted an excuse to stand and walk about for a second, something made him want to be nearer to the man sitting leaning against his cell,  through the Perspex he could see the odd muscle flex and twist as Jimmy repositioned himself.   Dean took a seat against the wall as well, Dean was sure it was all in his head but he convinced himself he could feel the warmth of the other man’s body through the wall.  A month felt like a long time without any body contact that didn’t involve being essentially assaulted. “This place is fucked up, you know that right?”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then why...  complicated, never mind I got it.”  There was another quiet moment, Dean wanted to pry a little more, he thought Jimmy was hiding something, The more he thought about  the guy the less like a ‘Jimmy’ he seemed.  He changed the subject before he could land himself in any trouble. “What kinda music you into?”  There was then awkward pause.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m bored, you’re a captive audience and the first person in a month to remember I’m actually a human.  So yeah humour me, what kinda music are you in to?” 

 

“Oh, I don’t really listen to music that much.”  It was true.  He generally kept to himself, occasionally he would listen to old jazz music or blues stuff. 

 

“Don’t listen to music?!  Ok what about movies?”

 

“Nope, I don’t own a TV.”

 

“You what?!?!  What the hell do you do all day?”  Even in this short conversation, Castiel had got more emotion from Dean in the last two minutes than he had in the whole of the previous week.

 

“I work.”  Castiel held his breath and saw if Dean would catch in to his slip up. 

 

“Well I hope Alpha-Sitting pays well...”  Dean’s voice trailed off, unhappy with where the conversation led, he had hoped they could avoid talking about his captivity.  Again Dean allowed ‘Jimmy,’ (he was pretty sure he was hiding something now,) to skirt around the topic of his life outside the facility.  Dean idly wondered what kind of work the other man did.

 

“What about you?  Favourite song?”

 

“Zepplin’s Ramble On, classic.”  The enthusiasm rolled through Dean, he only needed minimal prompting to tell anyone who would listen about his favourite bands.  Music was his saving grace.  Back when he lived with his Dad, if there a particularly hard beating from his father, Dean would stay in his room and just let the music wash over him, heal him. 

 

“I’ll have to give it a listen sometime.”  Dean all but squeaked with joy and proceeded to go onto a twenty minute lecture about a band called ‘Led Zeppelin,’ their roots, their inspirations, Dean’s views on their greatest hits and which bands wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t for them.  Passion.  Dean was a passionate man, that was clear to see, Dean completely changed when they were talking about music.  They had both unconsciously turned and were now facing each other, gaze locked onto each other.  There was a spark of electricity that seemed to permeate through the barrier between them.  It was magnetism, pulling them together.

 

“Dude, who are you?”  Something was tugging at Dean's instincts, the way the Omega moved, the way the Omega spoke to Dean it was completely different to the other carers.

 

“What?”  Castiel was nervous, had he given too much away, it was already unnatural how comfortable they both were in this situation.  Had Dean already sussed he wasn’t really a care?

 

“I dunno, never mind, I’m just being stupid, as usual.  It’s just, I don’t hate you.”  There was a panic in Jimmy’s voice that further stoked Dean’s suspicions.  However, he came to the conclusion if Jimmy was here to hurt him more, he would have done it by now.  So he went along with Jimmy’s play, really hoping for the best, praying he wouldn’t be kicked in the gut, again.

 

“Thanks, I don’t hate you too.  I guess.”  The corners of Dean’s mouth turned up slightly, just hinting at a smile.  “You don’t sound stupid either.  I feel I could pass a rock history exam solely on your analysis of the genre.”  At that Dean broke into a full smile, his teeth gleaming in the light, small wrinkles gathering at the apexes of his eyes.  He looked at the ground shyly, as if he couldn’t believe that someone thought of him as smart.  Castiel took a mental picture and saved it for later.


	23. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos please!
> 
> “I know it’s chemicals that make me cling to you.”
> 
> 'St. Patrick.' by PVRIS

A couple of days were all it took for Castiel to be convinced that he could share his secret with Dean.  It was a big day as well, Dean was due for a shower and Castiel had spent all night fantasising about how Dean would look, soaked from head to toe, beads of water rolling down his chest, tricking down his muscular stomach, dripping off his...

 

“Hey!  Earth to Jimmy!”  Cliff was standing in front of him waving, trying to get his attention.  Castiel entered the code to get into the secure area.

 

“What? Sorry, um... million miles away.  What’s up?”

 

“I was asking when you wanted me to help get the Alpha to the wash area.  Obviously.”

 

“Oh.”  Castiel must have been on a day off when Dean last had a shower, he clearly missed that part.  “Um, I thought I might try it a different way today.  I have a decent enough rapport with him.  He might come quietly?” 

 

“I dunno, he can be pretty feisty.  I should probably be there, just in case and the cuffs are a must.  I don’t want my ass handed to me by that _‘Alistair’_ guy, he’s a bit intense.  I’ll come through after breakfast.”  Clint resumed his post at the main door.  Castiel continued through the secure door to the large room.  He chatted briefly to the overnight carer and headed over to the cell, eager to get to talk to Dean more, to know him better.  The last two days had felt like a month, Dean and Castiel or ‘Jimmy’ had covered just about every non captivity related topic known to man, every one apart from either of their personal lives.  Castiel got the feeling Dean was trying to protect himself from getting hurt.  It was a fair enough reaction given his circumstance.

 

Dean hated shower days.  They were the lowest of the low.  It was the times in the week that made Dean red hot with rage.  He was expected to stand there and let someone else wash him, to _their_ standards, citing some reason about cleanliness and lowering the risk of infection, keeping him safe.  Well Dean was more than capable of fucking showering alone.  He also wasn’t about to sign up to do a strip tease and water show for these sick freaks. No, instead he fought tooth and nail against them until eventually he was overpowered, cuffed and dragged through to the shower room, cuffed to a strategically placed rail and forced to live through the ordeal anyway.  One a bad day he would be sedated and wheeled through on a trolley, naked and given a bed bath, and not the fun kind.  Already he was on edge, hugging his chest with his arms, holding himself together.  He paced for a bit before sitting down, leaning against the Perspex wall, where he and Jimmy had been talking last couple days. 

 

“Hey, Dean.”  Castiel couldn’t help but notice where Dean was sitting, it made him feel warm inside.  The feeling lasted but a second when he read Dean’s posture, his shoulders were tense, his shoulders curled in, in an attempt to make himself invisible.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“Shower day.”

 

“Oh.  Not a fan huh?”

 

“You try getting frog marched into a shower and someone else fiddling with your bits see how you like it.”  Dean grumbled.  He didn’t know if he could bear being washed by Jimmy, he really was getting on with the guy, Dean didn’t _want_ to lash out at him, but to hell was he going to get man handled into the shower, again.

 

“Fair point.  Was kinda hoping we could come to an agreement.  I don’t want to get on your bad side, and you don’t want a ‘nap time.’  I tried to get the security guards to back off but Cliff is gonna come watch, make sure you don’t do anything.  He says the cuffs are non-negotiable for the walk over. 

 

“Jimmy...  I can’t, I can’t do it.  Not willingly, it would be accepting my fate.  My instincts just won’t let me.  I don’t really wanna hurt you.  So please, just...”  Dean couldn’t think of another option, sometimes being an Alpha really sucked.  His instincts riled against anything that restrained him, that made him even slightly vulnerable.  Dean sighed loudly.

 

In the years to come, Castiel would remember this moment as the defining point in his life.  His life was about to be turned upside down.  “My name’s not Jimmy.”  It came out as a whisper.

 

 “What?”  Dean rose from his spot on the floor.  He was faced with those cerulean eyes, his bottom lip was being chewed in anxiety, on any other day in any other situation it would be downright adorable.  Right now, however, it was a signal to Dean that something big was just about to happen, something game changing.

 

“My name isn’t Jimmy.  It’s Castiel.”  Castiel’s voice was clearer but still quiet, “the short version of the story is this.  I heard what happened to you and your brother, I couldn’t help but feel something was off.  So I found this place, I found you.  I’m gathering evidence to take, not just for my story but I want to help get you free, all of the Alphas in fact.  I’m going to take it as high as I can, the injustice of it all.  I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner but I had to make sure you wouldn’t say anything.”  His voice came out all rushed, it wasn’t how he was planning on telling Dean.

 

“You’re gonna help me get out?”  Dean’s face was stony, “Don’t fuck with me right now, _Castiel_.  It will be the last thing you do.”  Dean curled his lips around the man’s real name, he desperately wanted to believe the Omega.  It went along with what his instincts were telling him, this man _could_ help him.  He also knew he wouldn’t survive another catastrophic let down, not now his hopes had started to build.

 

“I’m not fucking with you.  But you _have_ to work with me, please.”

 

The conflict raging inside Dean was immense.  What Castiel was asking him to do was to submit and behave, to accept his future in this hell, even temporarily.  The Alpha in him refused outright.  He would never willingly submit to anyone, let alone an _Omega_ even if he was pretty.  On the other side, he wanted to escape, he wanted to get out of here, to see Sam, to raise merry hell against the government.  The thought hit him then, that’s Castiel’s goal too.  “Alright, Cas, Immona call you Cas, I’m trusting you here, so you gotta give me something to work with.  I’ll do the shower thing, nice and calm.  You gotta get information on my brother, Sam Winchester.  He’s an Alpha too, apparently they are doing... experiments on him.”  Dean’s voice faltered on the last sentence.  He’d give anything to hear about his brother, hell, he _was_ giving everything he had left to do just that.

 

“I’ll do my best, Dean.  Now, let me get you some breakfast.  I’ve got a surprise.”  Castiel went about making the porridge, same as always, today though, Castiel had managed to sneak in a small pot of honey.  He put in a large dollop and mixed it in until you couldn’t tell there was anything added.  Castiel slotted it into the cell and watched.  Dean seemed to take the revelation very well, much better than expected. He only hoped he could deliver on his promise to get some information about Sam, he prayed that it wouldn’t be horrible news either, hoped that Sam ok, for both the brothers’ sakes. 

 

Dean picked up the bowl and inspected it, “Don’t see what the damn surprise is,”  He took a spoonful up to his mouth, his eyes, springing wide as the flavour hit him.  “Fuck, honey!  Tastes so good!  Thanks man!”  Dean savoured every spoonful of the sweetened porridge, it was stupid that he got excited over some damn honey; this place was sending him up the coo coo’s nest.  Once he was finished, again he put the bowl in the food slot, waiting to be returned.  He realised that he was so caught up in enjoying his breakfast, Cas wasn’t around.  He pouted slightly and went and sat on th bed, anxiously waiting to get fucking bath time over and done with.

 

Whilst Dean was occupied with breakfast Castiel took the time to glance over the protocol for ‘Washing an Alpha, _A Guide for Carers_ ’  The fact it even existed was ridiculous but it gave clear directions that he knew he would have to stick to whilst the guards were watching him.  He popped out of the secure area to go over the plan with Cliff.  Once Dean was cuffed, Cliff would come in and be there whilst Dean waked to the shower room.  It was all planned out, Castiel only hoped that Dean would manage to keep himself calm.   His stomach sank 10 storeys when Cliff handed him the cuffs for Dean, they were reinforced for use with Alphas, and they were heavy for their size.  Castiel returned to the cell area.  “Ok Dean.  I’m trusting you to not turn me into pulp ok?  I’m coming in.  Castiel used the code to open the door to Dean’s cell. 

 

There was a curious scent that wafted towards him when the cell door closed behind his visitor.  The scent danced towards him lazily, slowly filling his nostrils, building in concentration.  After five breaths Dean was intoxicated.  The smell of pie was all around him, cherry pie.  He could separate the different layers of the scent. There was the savoury smell of the crust, the caramelised sugar dusting the top and, best of all, the sweet scent of cherry, luscious and juicy, making Dean eager to taste.  It was a warm smell that made him feel like _home_.  Even in this pit, he felt like he belonged nowhere else, with no one else. The warmth spread down into his chest, it circled the large gaping hole that was left unfilled by every other partner and sealed it closed.  He felt complete, whole.  The planets, the solar system, the stars, the galaxies, whole freaking universe felt like it had just aligned.  He looked towards the man who had just entered his cell.  Cas looked terrified and ecstatic all at the same time, he was rooted to the spot.

 

The smell of leather, and whiskey should have been unpleasant.  It should be a smell that reminds him of the dive bars he generally tries to avoid, however, here, with the scent rolling off Dean, it was the most perfect smell in the world.  It smelt warm and welcoming.  Safe.  Castiel struggled to get his brain to think of much else.  His brain gave up completely when Dean marched over to him and inhaled deeply, lapping up the scent. The intense stare the men shared was a wordless agreement, they had just scented their respective True Mates.   Cas wanted nothing more than to taste Dean’s lips, but managed to keep himself under control, cliff would be through any second.  A slight whimper of disappointment escaped his lips, followed by the realisation that something was happening inside him, his body responding to scenting his Mate, he could feel slick starting to trickle down from inside, they only had a few minutes until it would be obvious.  Judging by Dean’s reaction too, they would have to move to the moderate privacy of the shower room before Cliff could take note of an opportunity to get Dean’s sample.

 

“You gotta do it now Cas!  CAS!  Cuff me!  We gotta make it to the shower.  Just hold on!”  Dean turned away from Cas and presented his hands behind his back.  Cas took a second to snap out of hs trance and place the cuffs on, breaking a tiny piece off with each snap of the cuffs.  Cliff made his way to the cell and opened the doors.  Dean kept his head down and quietly strode across to the shower room, Cas lightly holding onto Dean by the crook of his elbow, more for show than anything else. 

 

“I’ll give you a shout when I’m done, why don’t you hang out on the lounge for a bit, take a break, someone’s covering for you right?”

 

“Sure thing.”  Cliff wandered off, bemused by Dean’s sudden good behaviour, leaving Castiel and Dean alone in the shower room.


	24. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)

Dean gazed silently into the distance, for a moment his head was whirling, his mind racing to keep up with his surroundings.  His mind took it’s time to process what he had just done.  He put his trust into Castiel, he went against every single Alpha instinct, and _let_ himself be cuffed.  Cas was doing something to him, he wanted to never be without Castiel.  He had known the man just over a week but now Dean knew there was no living without this beautiful creature.  The only reason Dean could give himself up like that was _because_ it was _Cas._   He took the little freedom he owned, inside his own cell, and gave it to Cas to hold within a heartbeat.  Dean was surer than anything on this Earth that Cas would give it back to him.  The realisation that he had found his one True Mate on the planet made his heart sing.  He was flying through the stars, flying with the angel who has swooped in and is trying to save him.  The angel with Heaven’s purest blue lakes for eyes, with the lips that looked like they were crafted by the softest silks.  Dean drew his gaze up to find the Omega, he had closed the door after the guard walked out, quickly skirting to behind Dean and was unlocking the cuffs.  Dean was right, Cas gave him back his freedom, what little he still possessed.  His Alpha instincts wanted to take over, wanted to ravage the Omega and claim him, he wanted to show the whole world that Cas was _his_.  His body was ready to knot, was aching to.  Dean studied Castiel’s features for the first time up close.  Cas in return was taking in the sight of Dean hardening for him, his face looked all wrong though.  There was something Dean never wanted to see on his Omega’s face, fear. 

 

 

Castiel’s eyes were wide, barely containing the sheer terror pulsing through him.  He never wanted this!  His whole life he had been afraid of this exact moment, meeting someone and being tied inextricably to them, powerless to say no and stripped of his free will that he thought a True Mate bind would bring.  He could see Dean’s need starting to grow, the arousal was thickening the air.  Castiel knew how this went, he would be claimed and mated, with or without his consent.  Part of him wishes he didn’t take of Dean’s handcuffs, not just yet, not until he was sure Dean wouldn’t attack him in the shower.  His Omega instincts were fighting to take over, he was forcing himself to keep standing, instead of presenting to his Alpha.  The other side was disgusted at himself for even considering leaving the cuffs on Dean.  Dean had given him absolute trust.  It was only right Castiel returned the favour.  He wanted to launch himself at Dean, cover him with kisses from head to toe.  He wanted Dean to hold him, to gather him up in his arms.  He wanted to scent Dean all over, taking in the scent until he had committed it to memory.  He could trust Dean, his instincts told him so, in the same way his instincts told him the man in front of him was his True Mate.

 

“I won’t touch you.  I promise.”  Dean kept his eyes down and his voice quiet, his voice deep with forced calm.  He felt like he was trembling under his skin.  He was confident that he could control his instincts long enough to get a cold shower going to clear his head.  Then he and Castiel could talk about this. 

 

“What?”  Cas’ voice came out meek, vulnerable, almost hurt.

 

“You’re scared I’m not going to be able to control myself.  You’re scared I’m going to hurt, you or claim you.”

 

“How-?”  


“I can smell your distress.”  Dean took another experimental sniff at the air, the sweet cherry scent was now more acidic, citing impending danger.  “I’m not surprised, someone as good as you must have attracted some unwanted attention.  Just know that I don’t ever want to hurt you.  I never want to see you scared.  I want to protect you.”  Dean internally sneered at himself.  How was he supposed to protect his Omega from within his cell.  Already he was failing Cas, he wanted to give Cas everything in the world, instead he had nothing to give. 

 

“You won’t hurt, me.  You won’t claim me.  I trust you.  You are good too Dean.”  Castiel relaxed significantly as it became apparent Dean was being true to his word, he could see Dean unwind slightly as his distress ebbed away.  “Um, you should probably wash, I’ll um, need in the shower too, maybe after?”

 

“Nah, Cliff will come looking if we’re too long.”  Castiel had relaxed, accepting his word.  Dean’s voice trembled at his own suggestion, “maybe we can share?”  Dean turned the shower on and stepped in, leaving the decision up to Castiel.  God he hoped Cas would join him. 

 

The shower was actually rather enjoyable, Dean thought, when he wasn’t being assaulted.  The temperature was warm, relaxing his tense muscles, the water pressure was excellent, almost managing to wash away his pain, his confusion, his anger.  Leaving room for Dean to think about Castiel, Dean’s body was still reacting to the cherry pie scent in the air.  There was no doubt in his mind that Cas was his True Mate, the one person who was made specifically for him.  Dean had already put his trust into the Omega, in a time where his trust had been nothing but betrayed.  Even in this hell hole, the prison in which he was being kept, Castiel was like an oasis in the dessert, he was had already filled the gaping hole in Dean’s soul.  He was about to take care of his hard on when he heard the curtain being pulled back and someone stepping in.  Dean turned and saw Cas standing, looking very nervous, standing with his arm crossed his chest and entirely naked.

 

Watching Dean undress and get into the shower was potentially one of the sexiest things Castiel had ever seen.  It was better than his day dreams could ever come up with.  Castiel steeled himself using Dean’s scent to draw strength from and undressed quickly, stepping into the shower.  This was his True Mate, there was nothing to fear, not from Dean.  He knew one hundred percent that Dean would keep his word and not touch him.  Except Castiel didn’t want that, he wanted to know how it felt to be caressed by his Alpha.  He wanted to become familiar with the sensation of a possessive arm around him.  He wanted all of it.  It was a drastic change from his views on Alphas he held not one hour ago, but that because he hadn’t properly been introduced to Dean.  His scent was the key to unlocking the things Castiel didn’t even know he wanted.  Dean was within touching distance now...

 

The naked Omega was without doubt the most beautiful vision in the world.  Nothing would ever compare in Dean’s mind. No landscape, no sunset, no sunrise, no ocean view would match Castiel.  Cas was worrying at his lower lip, looking up at Dean with those cobalt blue eyes, his face was one of curiosity, tension and just a hint of arousal, made obvious by the Omega’s own hard on and the strengthening scent of his slick now gliding down to the top of his legs.  Castiel’s body was tight with anxiety, Dean could see the muscles contracting under his skin.  The Omega was definitely smaller in stature but had an athletic body, his muscles toned and trim.  He took a step towards Dean, studying him, assessing his reaction to the intrusion.  Dean had to work hard to keep his arousal in check.  The same instincts that were willing Dean to bend this Omega over and take him were also telling him he needed to be gentle with his Omega.  His Omega needed to be protected, to be respected, not to be claimed without consent.  Dean paused _his_ Omega?  As ridiculous as it sounded it also sounded right.  It fit, like a missing puzzle piece.  All this swept through his mind as Cas took another step towards him, his expression more determined now.

 

Castiel knew now that Dean would never hurt him, not deliberately, and he definitely would not do _anything_ without his consent.  Castiel was safe with Dean, he was home.  That knowledge gave Castiel the strength to reach forwards for Dean’s wrist, guiding it to his own waist, holding it there until Dean held it there.  The Alpha brought his vision from his held wrist up to meet Castiel’s gaze, those jade green eyes full of need, but also restraint, Dean whispers, “Are you sure Cas?”

 

“I trust you Dean.”  Dean moved his other hand up to cup Cas’ cheek, who lent into the touch.  Dean moved his body forward, closing the distance between the two naked bodies.  Dean kissed Cas with a gentleness and tenderness that suggested his Omega was made of glass.  Castiel tasted as sweet as he smelled, Dean thought. Cas kissed back with more passion, more need, spurred on by Dean’s restraint and willingness to keep his instincts in check.  By the time they both came up for air, there was already an air of mutual trust and desire, as if they’d already been together months. 

 

“We better get washed up, Cliff will be back soon.”

 

Castiel tried not to look disappointed, “You’re right.  We should.  Um...-“

 

“Hey!  C’mere.”  Dean took the wash cloth and squirted some gel on it.  Cas stood stock still, unsure on what Dean was wanting from him.  As if reading his thoughts Dean asked, “I’d like to wash you...  if that’s ok?  I don’t wanna stop touching you, not yet.  Um, I’d like to kiss you some more too?”  The last part coming out a question, seeking Cas’ consent.

 

“Only if I can return the favour.”  Cas answered, Dean smiled and nodded, he set to work covering Cas with a soapy lather, working gently around the tops of his legs, erasing the evidence of Cas’ arousal that might give them away.  As the water rinsed over the Omega, Dean kissed his way from Cas’ jaw, down his neck to his shoulder, trying to commit every whimper, every moan he managed to pull to memory.  He didn’t stop the raid when Cas took his turn to wash Dean over. 

 

The shared shower only proved to fuel both of the boys’ need.  Again, Dean looked to his Omega, looking for his approval.  “I _need_ to jack off, I ain’t doing it into a damn tub.  I can help with yours too?”

 

“God, yes please!”  Castiel’s reaction surprised himself.  He was desperate now for _his_ Alpha to touch him.  With the consent Dean needed, he gathered both their cocks in one hand and started moving his hand up and down.  Both of them having putting force into their kisses in order to stop the sinful moans building in both their chests.  The need and the urgency causing them to come in a record time at the exact same moment.  They stood for a few moments, gasping into each other’s mouths, letting the evidence wash away down the drain.

 

The reality of their situation hit them hard as Dean reached for his towel to quickly dry himself off, passing it to Cas to let him dry off.  Dean had to fight with himself all over again, could he let himself be cuffed again?  It was Cas, he trusted Cas with his freedom, he would trust Cas with his life now.  It was more the point of making himself vulnerable in a place like this.  If something happened he wouldn’t be able to react and that thought scared him.  However, it was looking more likely that he had no choice.  He grabbed the clean boxers, t-shirt and scrubs hanging up, pulling them on as quickly as he could.  Cas was also dressing himself in the scrubs he had on before.  The mood was more sombre than it was five minutes ago, “err Cas, you’re going to have to...”  Dean swallowed and made himself say it, “cuff me again.”

 

“Can’t I just say you agreed to behave or something? I don’t like handcuffing you.”  Cas’ voice was very small and hurt sounding.

 

“It’s my fault Cas, I’ve cried wolf before, saying I’d behave, only to sock two guards in an attempt to escape.  I’m sorry.”  Dean could have kicked himself.  Cas was hurting because of him, again.

 

“Don’t you dare apologise for that!  Nothing here is your fault. It’s a fucked up situation!  Let’s just get it over with.”  It was a sobering look into Dean’s life that he thought he could turn the blame on himself for this situation.  Cas put the cuffs onto Dean, leaving them a tad looser than he should have and hoped that Cliff wouldn’t notice.

 

Before Cliff could return Dean reminded Cas of their arrangement, “Please Cas, my brother, Sam, I need to find out about him!  Please!”

 

“I’ll do my best Dean.  I promise!”

 

Right on cue, Cliff came knocking at the door, Dean met his appraising gaze with a death stare that would send lesser Betas running, but not Cliff.  Dean made his way back to his cell, resisting the urge to try and run.  It’s a futile hope, and would only end up with him getting drugged.  Instead, he silently stepping into his cell and turned so Cas could undo the cuffs.  Cas followed Cliff out the cell, turning to close the door and sending Dean a smile and a wink, giving Dean just enough hope to keep him going until Cas could come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need for a bit of a break in the tension and what better way to do that than a shower scene.... 
> 
> :D


	25. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please comment and (if you liked what you read) Kudos :)

Chuck was preparing to leave California to return to Kansas, he had finished yet another report, detailing another experiment which categorically would not lead to the creation of more Alphas.  Chuck had found the samples were not viable for long enough to be tampered with, the Y chromosome sperm separated and be implanted into an Omega.  His report was going to be the death sentence to Alpha kind.  It would mean drastic changes to Lychan-kind in America but, if Chuck was being honest he wouldn’t mind it too much.  A world without Alphas didn’t seem like the end of the world the Alpha-Sec had penned it to be.  Just as Chuck was packing the last of his equipment his desk phone rang.  He picked it up, already wincing away from the voice at the end of the line.  “Hello?”

 

“Professor Shurley, It’s Colonel Azazel, I just had a quick skim through your report.  Is it right?  Zero chance of conception with this method?”

 

“That’s right.  I’m sorry it’s not better news.  But hey, maybe you can let the Alphas go now huh?  Back to their families...”  Or what’s left of them, Chuck thought.

 

“Wait, Chuck we aren’t out of options yet!”

 

“Yes, Colonel we are, the sperm is only viable for a short time, it’s not enough time to do what you need to, to separate the X and Y bits.  It’s impossible, unless you can afford to wait for the technology to get better that _might_ speed up the process, even then, it won’t be enough.”  Chuck wanted this to be over, he wanted to go back to his average life of college teaching.  It was unremarkable but it was far preferable to this.

 

“There’s the old fashioned way, good old conventional sex.  That means there’s a fifty percent change of conception for an Alpha right?”

 

“Well...  that would mean... I mean... the Alphas would need to consent, I don’t see that happening.  The happier the Alpha, the higher chance of conception, I don’t think you can exactly count any of the Alphas as _happy_.”  The two Winchester brothers were example numbers one and two.

 

“Don’t worry about that.  So you’re saying that there’s no advantage to using science to help us now?  We have the recipe to make the pheromones from saliva right?  We don’t need a professor specifically?”

 

“Um, I guess.”  Chuck was confused as to where this was going.

 

“Good.  You’re fired.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

“And Chuck?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If you even think about saying anything to anyone about what you’ve seen, we will kill you.”

 

“Oh.”  Was all Chuck could stutter.  The line went dead and Chuck was left standing in his lab, he was now technically free to leave this nightmare behind.  He just had one or two things to pick in Lawrence and he would _never_ have to worry about the friggin’ Alphas again, so long as he kept his mouth shut.

 

He walked out of the research stopping for a moment to appraise the Alpha, Sam, in the cell.  He looked wrecked, a shell of a man that once was.  Chuck knew, even though he was forced, he had helped to make the haunted, broken man in front of him.  The guilt hit him like a tonne of bricks, there was nothing he could do for Sam.  The entrances were all guarded heavily and they would definitely notice a six foot five Sasquatch of a man trying to escape.  His guilt felt like it was settling there long term.  He had already received a death threat from the Colonel and wasn’t about to give them reason to act on it.  He grabbed his things and dashed out the centre.

 

Addiction had turned Sam into a hollow man.  The last week had been a cycle of desperation, relief, disgust and anger.  Every day the scent would be pumped into his room, he would react and need to release himself.  He tried to not use the containers to spill his seed into, that usually resulted in him being drugged, strapped down and the process restarted only with a ‘carer’ relieving his need into a container for him.  In the end, Sam couldn’t bring himself to care enough to keep fighting.  He used the containers and let the carers take it away for whatever sick purpose they needed it for. He was still reeling from his Mate’s death, Sam wasn’t sure if he was ever fully going to be able to heal from this.  Jess’ scent was the only thing he had left that was a physical tie to her, so after a few days he started to welcome the influx of her smell into his cell, he was thankful for the reminders that he was once happy, that he once loved, that he was loved by someone.  It all seemed so long ago now, now he felt he was drifting.  Nothing really seemed to matter anymore, so yeah, he let himself get lost in the memories of Jess when her scent infiltrated his little world.  When the last of her smell ebbed away, he would start ticking down the time until he could smell her again. 

 

The only other thing that passed through his mind was concern for his brother.  Dean wouldn’t be coping well in captivity.  When they were kids and John had gone away for the weekend without them on another pointless trek to find the Pale-One responsible for Mom’s death, he would order to stay in, to not leave the house.  Dean never dealt with those weekends well, he would find every last piece of freedom he had and flaunt it, like the times he would climb up onto the roof of their house and pretended to be superman.  As if showing their dad he could never be truly be contained.  Unfortunately, that time, Sam remembered, he followed, pretended to be Batman and fell, breaking his arm. Dean took him to the ER on the handles of his bike.  When Dad found out, Dean suddenly had a broken arm to match Sam’s.  The bitter memory pulled Sam from his thoughts, no Dean would not be coping well at all. 

 

Sam was becoming slightly more aware of the comings and goings outside his cell.  This week there was the same scientist guy who was here the first time they used his scent.  He occasionally passed Sam’s cell and gave him concerned look.  The scientist guy was short, wore a constant expression of anxiety and fear.  Sam thinks he might be called ‘Chuck,’ if the carers are to be believed.  Chuck looked like he would rather be anywhere else on the planet rather than here, with him.  Well, Sam thought, that makes two of them.

 

A couple days passed without Jess scent and like a true addict was going through withdrawal, his thoughts were more irrational, he was lashing out more at the carers causing him to get drugged more often.  He tried to bargain with them, actually _trying_ to get them to give him Jess’ scent.  He was a strung out mess, he could eat, he couldn’t sleep.  He just _needed_ her scent, it was the only thing he could think of.  He was so wrapped up in his own head and his need for his Mate, he only just noticed the equipment being transported by his see through wall.  It registered in his peripheral consciousness but couldn’t give it much thought.

 

One of the carers came in flanked by two security guards.  It put Sam instantly on edge.  The carer piped up, “If you come with us, nice and calm we can arrange for your fix of your Mate’s scent.  Interested?” 

 

Sam was off the bed and over to the carer in an instant, turning and offering his arms behind his back to be handcuffed.  Anytime he was out of his cell he was cuffed, it was normal now and Sam just wanted to smell his mate again.  He was led out of his cell along a corridor he hadn’t been down before.  He was taken to a whole new area of the facility and into a new cell like room, it was very similar other than the bed had straps on it.  Sam stopped dead at the sight.  Something in his instincts told him that this was wrong, this wasn’t about Sam getting his fix.  Something else was about to happen.  Before Sam could think about trying to break free and make a run for it he was manhandled by the two security guards onto the bed, his ankles were spread wide and strapped to the edge of the bed.  His arms were removed from the cuffs, only to strapped to the bed as well, he was splayed out, spread eagle style, powerless against the Alpha proof bonds.

 

Sam snapped out of his withdrawal trance, becoming acutely aware of everything that was happening around him, “What the fuck?!  Let me go!  You can’t do this!”  His voice low and rough from lack of use.  His protests were thoroughly ignored; his scrubs were cut away until he was laying naked.  “You are sick freaks!  Get off me!”  His cries were stifled as a gag was pushed between his teeth and strapped tight round the back of his head.

 

“Alright, bring in the Omega and start the scent generator.”  The carer looked into the camera hanging on the wall and left Sam alone, straining against his restraints.  A couple minute later, a well dressed woman entered, followed a smallish man, wearing a bathrobe.  At that precise second the ventilation kicked in and filled the room with Jess’ scent, triggering Sam’s usual reaction, except this time he couldn’t do anything about the growing need down between his legs.  He tried helplessly to pull on his wrists and ankles, he tried screaming at the man to help him.  It was all pointless.

 

“Why is he strapped down?”  The small man said.

 

“The Alphas have consented to being restrained for your protection, they cannot hurt you whilst you are with them and we gag them so you can’t get accidently claimed.  It’s perfectly safe, so when you are ready you just climb on top and within moments you will be on your way to helping the future of Alpha Kind!” 

 

“Thank you!  Me and my husband always wanted kids but we haven’t managed yet, I think it’s cos he’s a Beta and I’m Omega, we’re not a hundred percent biologically compatible.  I dunno.  Anyway I’ll stop babbling, I think I’m just nervous.”

 

“Ok, just come out when you are ready.”

 

Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing, surely this wasn’t true!  Surely the Alpha sec wasn’t _that_ fucked up.  The Omega de-robed, reached behind him and pulled something from his ass, it was a plug keeping it open.  Sam could only watch in horror at the events unfolding.  The man proceeded to climb on the bed and took Sam’s rock hard cock and aimed it towards his rear.  The man lowered himself onto Sam, Sam unable to stop the growl erupting as he felt the warmth surround him.  It felt all wrong though.  It wasn’t his Jess, it wasn’t his Mate, except his nose was filled with her scent and his body wouldn’t listen to his head, internally screaming for his knot to stay down.  It was no use, his body betrayed him and he could feel the knot swell, tying him and the Omega man together.  Sam could do nothing but close his eyes and wait for it to be over.  Tears steadily streaming down his face.  He wondered how the Omega couldn’t tell this wasn’t right, wasn’t consensual.  What part of this seemed ok?

 

Once it was over, Sam could get the gist of the answers.  The Omega looked so happy, so pleased as he put the robe back on, he had the evidence of a couple of tears on his cheeks.  “Thank you so much!”  The Omega gushed, “I’m so happy you all volunteered!  It’s such an honour to be able to save Alpha Kind!  And just think, I’ll have started a new Alpha Bloodline!  Little old me!”  The man was so clueless, must be washed up in some pro-Alpha propaganda shit.

 

Sam was very carefully re-restrained back into handcuffs, the security guards holding his arms away from his body, ensuring if Sam struggled he would get hurt, forcing his co-operation.  He was lead back through to his usual cell, uncuffed and left there. The clean scrubs sitting on the bed reminding Sam he was still naked.


	26. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) Kudos :)

Cas had been forced to take a couple of days off, it was starting to look like he enjoyed being there too much and so had to back off.  It broke his heart being away from Dean, knowing how badly he was treated when Castiel wasn’t there.  The other carers wouldn’t be putting honey into his porridge, they wouldn’t be sharing tender kisses in the shower, or at least Cas hoped not.  It was driving him insane and he was glad to return to ‘work.’  He was practically skipping up the road towards the research centre.  He saw the familiar hunched shoulders of Professor Shurley and hurried his pace to catch up.  Chuck was so far his only potential lead to start looking for Sam.  He didn’t want to have no news for Dean.

 

“Hey Chuck,” Castiel instantly was concerned about Chuck’s expression. “What’s up?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just here picking up a few things then I’m off again.”

 

“Oh, Um anywhere nice?”  Castiel couldn’t quite believe how moronic he sounded.

 

“Back to my job, back to my life, thank god.”

 

“What about the Alphas?”

 

“You want my advice?  Get out, whilst you can!”

 

“What?!  Chuck, what the hell happened when you were away?”

 

Chuck’s shoulders sagged, he looked around nervously, they were far enough away from the guards that they were unheard.  “Look, I’m probably going to get killed, so someone may as well know.  It’s gonna get so much worse.  I was in California, with the other Winchester, they are doing experiments on him, how you can force an Alpha to knot.  They can do it!  It’s bad.  So very bad!”  A guard was walking towards them, causing Chuck to clam up.

 

“Professor Shurley, you are no longer authorised to be on these premises, all your equipment is at the visitor’s entrance, go there to pick it up.”  With that the guard marched the professor towards a different area of the compound.  Castiel hurried up to the research area.  He didn’t want to believe Chuck, but there was no reason for him to lie.  How was he going to break the news to Dean? 

 

Castiel busied himself making Dean’s porridge, adding a little honey from the secret stash.  He headed over to the cell where Dean was sitting against the Perspex wall, the same position as the first time they spoke.  It sent a wave of affection through Castiel.  “Morning Dean.”

 

“Hey Cas!”  Dean turned and stood up, heading over to the door to accept his breakfast.

 

“How are you today?”

 

“I’m ok, kinda missed you man.”  Dean looked awkward at the admission, as if he wasn’t used to expressing himself so freely.  Castiel gave him a warm smile and set about his other duties, monitoring the room temperature, humidity etc and noting them down.

 

After Dean was finished, Castiel prepared to take Dean’s vitals, aside from showers, this was the other thing that usually ended up in Dean hurting people.  “Dean I need to take your vitals.  Are you going to beat me to a pulp?”  Castiel already knew he was perfectly safe with Dean.  He added a bit of sarcasm to let Dean know he trusted the Alpha.  In turn Dean looked up from his position, seated on the bed and flashed him a smile, shaking his head.

 

Cas entered the cell with his trolley of equipment.  It was all fairly easy to use, no real medical training needed.  Dean remained on the bed, eyeing the trolley with suspicion, “This is stupid, why can’t you just make it up?”

 

“Someone might watch the tape from the camera, need to keep up appearances.”  Cas answered simply.  Dean sighed loudly and slouched his shoulders, looking more like a petulant child than a defiant Alpha.  Castiel took his blood pressure and heart rate, he lifted the thermometer and held it up to Dean, “please?”  He wasn’t going to force anything on his Alpha, he only hoped _if_ anyone watched the tape from the cell they wouldn’t notice if he didn’t take Dean’s temperature.  To Cas’ surprise, Dean leaned forward and sucked the thermometer out of his hand, his lips puckering around the small glass tube.  Dean kept his expression as innocent as he could, although the wicked smile pulling at his mouth betrayed him.  Castiel’s breath hitched, it was very suggestive and apart from a quick hand job in the shower a few days ago he wasn’t exactly getting any... ever. 

 

“Somethin’ wrong Cas?”  Dean said around the thermometer still in his mouth, still trying to hold his innocent but rather instantly arousing expression.

 

“You’re going to be the death of me, Dean.”  After a minute Cas pulled the thermometer, the moment holding more sexual tension than a simple temp check should ever hold.

 

“We need to get me out of here like yesterday!”

 

“I know,” the mood instantly changed, Cas knew he was failing in the escape plan department.  He bowed his head, in disappointment at himself. 

 

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that...”  Dean’s was so soft and gentle, comforting like a warm blanket. 

 

“I’ve tried talking to my bosses about it, they want photos, hard proof.  At the moment the government have just covered up the disappearances, any speculation is merely being passed off as conspiracy theorists going mad.  They aren’t going to let me take a camera in, or take any evidence out.  They check my bag every time.  I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault Cas, I just wish I could get out somehow.  If my brother was here we would have a plan in no time.  Oh!  Did you hear anything about Sam?”

 

“Yeah...  Chuck, the um, professor, he was just in California.”

 

“What’d he say, did he see Sam?”

 

“I’m sorry, Dean.”  Castiel, again, felt his heart shatter for the Alpha in front of him.  “Apparently it’s quite bad, they’ve found a way to force a knot.  That’s all I could get.  Chuck was fired.”  An Idea popped into his head, “But I’ll find him.  The papers can’t ignore a testimony from a government professor!”  The look on Dean’s face was one that shook Cas to his very core.  The grief and anger there for all to see, quickly followed by a grim determination that scared Cas slightly, not because Cas feared for his safety but because he feared Dean was about to do something drastic.  Not that Cas could think what that might be.  Castiel was only on a short shift before another couple of days off, then he was on a run of day shifts for six days.  Dean just had to hold on for a few more days then there would be six days of just him and Dean, or so he thought.


	27. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) Kudos :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psychological torture a plenty for poor Dean. Enter Alistair.

Dean sat and stewed for a long time.  He didn’t know what else he could do, he _had_ to see Sam, make sure he was ok.  He could at least help to keep Sam sane.  He did it before, straight after the war, in the hospital.  He could get Sam talking, they could talk out whatever crap this was.  It wasn’t their usual but when it came to Sam’s sanity, Dean knew what to do.  Even in this hell hole, he could help Sam.  He just needed to get to Sam, or Sam to get here.  Dean wished Cas was here.  It had been just a couple of hours since the Omega left and already his chest was feeling heavy with feel of distance between them.  Cas might find a way of getting a message to Sam.  But Cas wasn’t there though, Dean was alone again.  The idea that popped into his head an hour ago was the only one he could come up with.  At first his brain had offered it up as a joke.  But as he considered his lack of options, it was less of a joke and more the only option he had.  His last card to play.  He let his chin fall to his chest in defeat.  The weight of what he was about to do too much to bear.  He swallowed hard, forcing the tears back, fixing his jaw into a determined line and raised his voice.  “HEY!!  ASSHATS!!  COME HERE!!  I NEED TO TALK!!”

 

A moment later one of the guards came over to the Perspex wall.  “What you shouting for?”

 

“I wanna make a deal!  I’ll do what you want.  I will.  But I want to see my brother.  I want him transferred here!  Then I will do what you want.  I’ll give you your damn samples or whatever.”

 

“Hang on.  This is above my pay grade.”  The guard went away, leaving Dean in a state of uncertainty. He returned about half an hour later with a phone.  He pushed it through the food slot and motioned for Dean to pick it up. 

 

“Hello?”  Dean started.

 

“Mr. Winchester.  Colonel Azazel here.  I understand you want to come to some sort of arrangement?”   The way the words came out, it made Dean’s hackles raise, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on edge.

 

“I wanna see my brother Sam.  You have him in California.”

 

“How do you know that for sure?”

 

The challenge had Dean on the back foot.  He didn’t want to get Castiel into trouble.  “I guessed.  He was in Cali when this kicked off.  Look, I want to see him.  Then I will give you your samples.  I won’t put up any more fights.”  Dean hated how, again, his voice was sounding more and more desperate as he bargained away the last of his hope and dignity. 

 

There was a pause on the other end of the line.  “Good news Winchester.  We, at the Alpha Sec, have been rethinking some of our approaches.  Just before you requested my attention so eloquently, me and my colleague here was just discussing ways that we can improve the lives of Alphas in our care...”

 

“Our lives would dramatically improve if you let us go!”  Dean couldn’t stop the outburst before it slipped from his lips.

 

“We would be more than happy to transfer Sam to the same facility as you.”  Azazel continued as if Dean hadn’t spoken.   In addition, you’ll be excited to hear we will be allowing you access to the outdoor area of the facility, with a few safety precautions of course, but you and your brother will be allowed into the outdoor area for some exercise and the like.”

 

“Um, ok.  Good.”

 

“Winchester?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Don’t think you will be able to ever make demands of me _ever_ again.  I’m releasing an officer to oversee you and your brother, you boys have somewhat of a reputation between the two of you.”  Before Dean could ask what the hell Azazel meant, the line went dead.  Dean thought it wouldn’t be that easy.  It _shouldn’t_ have been that easy.  Nothing in his life was ever that easy.  He spent the rest of the day on edge.  He felt there was something not quite right about the whole thing.  Dean suddenly wished he hadn’t made those demands, even if it meant not seeing his brother. The feeling of dread now loomed over him.  It felt like a storm was coming, and not a summer storm that would end quickly, leaving the sun to shine and warmth to spread.  No.  Dean felt like a winter storm was approaching, only bringing devastation, pain, destruction and potentially ever lasting damage. Dean shuddered and wanted to just scream.  Scream until his life made sense, scream until his Omega came back, scream until he couldn’t scream any longer. 

 

Azazel hung up the phone.  His plan was going to work just perfectly.  He looked up to his most trusted colleague. The man he trusted with his most important plans, although they were the same rank, Azazel had been around for a lot longer and therefore could give the man across the desk some projects to look after.  “You hear all that?”

 

“Yes I did.  Good to know some things never change.”  The long slender man sneered.  Colonel Alistair’s cold smile was barely concealed.  Ever since the Winchester brothers had left basic training, Alistair hadn’t been able to find anyone he could torture and manipulate as much as he could torture and manipulate Dean Winchester.  There was something about that boy that made Alistair want to push and prod at the Alpha until he broke.  The few times he had managed to make Dean beg, for forgiveness, for sleep, it had been the highlights of his career.  He had spent the last few months trying to get the same satisfaction and had failed.  No once had the defiance, the righteousness that Dean possessed.  It was these qualities that made it so good when Dean begged.  He could still remember Dean’s scent, leather and whiskey musk.  Alistair inhaled in anticipation.  He only hoped that the Alpha was still unmated, nothing would be worse than some Omega slut marring his scent.  He would quite happily skin any Omega who dared to claim Dean as theirs.  Despite being an Alpha himself, Alistair had always coveted Dean.  From the first day Dean set foot in camp at basic training.

 

“I know you have history with the Winchesters so I know you will be able to get the older boy to go through with the new regime yes?”

 

“Of course.”  With that, Alistair saluted his colleague and left, Sam was already being prepared for travel so Alistair had about twelve hours to kill before he could make his grand entrance back into Dean Winchester’s life.

 

Sam wanted to have a massive freak out.  The only thing stopping him was that he had already been told he wasn’t going to that other part of the compound.  He wasn’t going to get raped imminently.  Shockingly that didn’t make him feel all that much better about his situation.  He was sitting in his bed, guards securing the last of his bonds.  His hands were cuffed in front of him, the chain linked to another circling his body, tight around his waist.  His ankles were chained together, restricting his stride length, also linked to the chain around him.  He felt like a common criminal.  He was kidnapped, his Mate murdered, he is being held captive and he’s also been raped.  But yet here he was, chained as well, as if _he_ was the bad guy.  The guards took him by the elbows and marched him out to a blacked out van.  He was unceremoniously lifted into the back of the van, his ankle chain locked onto a loop of metal sunk into the floor of the van. The vehicle wasn’t huge and with Sam’s height he was forced to sit slightly curled to avoid hitting his head every time the van hit a speed bump.

 

They were on the road for what felt like days.  Sam had nothing to look at, there was no light in the back of the van.  Sam thought he may have slept for a little while but he couldn’t really tell.  He only got let out four of five times for bathroom breaks, always at the side of a deserted road with nowhere to run. After the endless drive, they finally reached their destination.  Sam still had no idea where he was.  He could tell it was another facility, judging by the Barbed wire and the men with guns everywhere.  Sam was led into the facility and through to an outdoor area.  There was a barbed wire mesh acting as some kind of cage roof.  On one side there was a chain link fence, the other three walls were all stone.  In the middle of the area there was some grass and a picnic bench.  It was a peculiar setup, as if someone had gone about trying to make a park in a prison.  It was about that level of depressing and pathetic looking.  Sam was unrestrained and left to wander aimlessly, exploring this small outdoor area.  He gulped down lungfuls of fresh air, he could remember the last time he had been outside for so long, must have been over a month now.  He liked the feeling of the slight breeze floating through his hair.  He lifted his head to try and soak in as much natural light as he could.  The sun had slight warmth to it still.

 

“Sammy?”  A croaked voice practically squeaked behind him.  Sam turned and saw his brother being uncuffed.  Dean looked so pale, almost gaunt, the skin over his face looks like had been pulled a bit too tight.  The usual brightness in his eyes was defiantly lost.  Sam’s heart sank, however, judging by the look on Dean’s face, Sam didn’t look any better.

 

“Dean!”  Sam stumbled forwards and embraced his brother into one of their signature bear hugs.  Holding each other for a few seconds before either of them could detach.  They spent a few moments commenting on their new outdoor environment before Sam plucked the courage to speak, he sat on the table part of the picnic bench with his feet on the seat.  “They killed Jess.”  His voice instantly broke, he propped his elbows onto his knees and put his head in his hands, scraping the hair away from his face.  “They shot her, right in front of me.” 

 

“Fuck Sammy.  I’m sorry man.”  Dean had no words that were comforting enough for his brother.  He had seen what losing a Mate did to his Dad.  He would give anything to stop Sam having to go through anything like that. 

 

“That scientist guy found a way to force Alphas to knot.  I was the one they tried it on first, I think.  I’m the reason it’s being used on everyone else!”  Sam’s voice was broken, quiet sobs making him breathless.  He wondered if his brother would hate him for what he was used for, that he was the one that showed the Alphas’ weaknesses.  Or maybe Dean would see him as weak, for not managing to keep his instincts under control.  Guilt ravaged through Sam, making his shudder with sobs.

 

“Hey you can’t blame yourself for this fucked up situation.  It’s not your fault.  It didn’t work on me you know, the whole scent thing.  They tried using Lisa’s pheromones, didn’t work cos she wasn’t my true Mate.”

 

“Pray they never find your mate then.  First they used it just to get samples.  That was bad but...”  Sam kept his head in his hands, wordless sobs becoming audible, painful rasps despite Sam’s efforts to hold them in.

 

“It’s ok Sammy, I’m here.  You’re away from there now.”  Dean didn’t want to think about how Sam’s sentence was going to end, he prayed that it wasn’t as awful as Sam made it sound.

 

“They raped me.”  Sam lifted his head to look into Dean’s eyes, he could tell those three words shattered Dean’s hopes.  “They strapped me down, gagged me, filled the room with Jess’ scent and brought in an Omega.  With Jess’ scent I couldn’t stop the knot.  I couldn’t stop...  I just wanted to stop!”  Sam’s head dropped back down to his hands, he fisted his hands in his hair, pulling painfully as if trying to pull the memory straight from his brain.

 

Dean wrapped Sam up in his arms, like he did when they were kids, slightly more awkward now because of Sam’s size and just held him.  He held his brother until Sam stopped shaking.  Dean felt like he had failed his brother yet again.  He was supposed to be Sam’s big brother to protect him, to fight for him, but instead Sam has been used as a lab rat and worse, has been used as a fuck toy.  It something that should never have happened to Sam.  Sam was going places, he was going to _be_ someone.  The loss of Sam’s innocence and loss of his future that struck Dean hardest.  Sam’s whole persona had changed, where once he was a carefree, loving, slightly goofy nerd, he was now almost an empty shell, his eyes were saddened, never quite able to look Dean in the eye, his face was hardened, Dean couldn’t imagine how long it had been since Sam smiled. 

 

After some time, Sam pulled himself out of Dean’s arms, his eyes reddened, “Sorry, I know you’ve probably had a tough time too.”  He had been so selfish, Dean was here, he had probably been through hell, he was able to hold it together better, he wasn’t a blubbering mess.  Dean was so much stronger than him.

 

A new wave of guilt hit Dean.  Sure his situation was appalling but he had Cas.  He had his Mate who was there a lot of the time.  He had someone who cared about him.  Hell they nearly had sex in the shower!  A second guilt wave hit him instantly, he barely thought for Lisa anymore.  He ruined the poor woman’s life and she was murdered for it.  It still made him feel sad but he could compartmentalise it, store it away for a while.  If anything happened to Cas, Dean knew he wouldn’t ever heal from that.  “It’s ok Sammy.  Don’t apologise, I’ve had a freakin’ vacation compared to you,”  Dean tried to keep his voice light, to try and bring his little brother back from the dark pit he was currently in.  “The Alpha Sec killed Lisa.  The scent thing didn’t work so they haven’t been able to do much to me.  But I’m working on a way out.  We are going to get out of here.”

 

 "How?”  Sam didn’t even lift his head.  His voice sounded more dejected than he meant it.

 

 “You won’t believe it but, I met my mate in here.  He’s gonna help.”

 

 “Your Mate works here?  He’s one of these sick fucks?!”  


 “No!  He’s a reporter.  He read about us after the war, what happened to us.  He wanted a story for his paper.  He looked us up and saw what happened to Lisa and Jess, he did a bit of digging and found me here.  His name is Castiel, but here he goes by Jimmy.”  Dean couldn’t help but let the hope he had let start to build colour his voice.  He would give anything to see just a glimmer of it in Sam’s eyes.  There was a tiny voice in his head that wondered if he should worry about Cas.  If Alistair ever found out Cas was his Mate, he couldn’t even bare to think about what might happen.  He pushed the thought from his head and focused on what was in front of him now, his brother.

 

 “Don’t Dean.”  Sam’s head snapped up and looked at his brother in terror.  To hope was dangerous here.  Sam was all too aware of it.  Every time Sam hoped it wouldn’t get any worse, it always did.   

 

 “What?”  Sam could tell Dean genuinely believed this ‘Castiel’ would help them.  Dean still held hope.  That meant that Dean still had something to live for, something to lose, and that hurt. 

 

 “Don’t dare to hope.  It hurts more when you hope.”  The one glimmer Sam had was Dean. Dean didn’t have to endure as much as him, maybe that was why Dean still has hope, Sam thought.  A small spark flickered deep within his now cold and hardened soul, he _hoped_ Dean would never be raped the way he was.

 

 Dean wanted to argue, to look at his brother straight in the eyes and tell him they _will_ escape, that there _is_ hope, however four guards came into the outdoor area, cuffs in hand.  Dean’s heart broke when he saw Sam get up and turn around, hands behind his back, waiting with his head bowed, without any need for instruction.  His brother had no fight left in him.  His eyes were empty, there was no happiness that usually shone through, there was no passion for life left.  Instead there was only the obedience of a broken man.  Dean would have to get his brother to believe him about being able to escape.  He needed his brother to start fighting again.  Two guards walked over to him, Dean put in a bit of effort to avoid the cuffs but he was over powered by the two large Betas.  He was marched back to his cell, behind Sam.  The Alpha Sec must have been busy because now there were two cells, the huge cell Dean was in had been bisected by another panel of Perspex, another bed, toilet and sink were put in the newly made cell.  The boys were delivered to the cells.  Dean was hoping he would be able to talk to his brother, convince him that Cas could save them.  But Sam went over to his bed and lay down, facing away from Dean.

 

 Sam cursed himself, cursed Dean, cursed everything.  He tried to squash the flicker, pretend he never hoped.  It was another thing they could use to hurt him.  He didn’t want to hurt anymore.  Before his brother could try to talk to him, to fuel the flickering candle of hope with in him, Sam walked straight over to the bed in his new cell.  The best Sam could do was to not think about escape, he couldn’t take another hit.  Except he couldn’t help but wonder why he had been moved to the same facility as his brother, what was the point?  It was a question Sam wanted to know the answer to, so he could prepare himself for the damage.  But again that small flame, burning incessantly inside made him hope that Dean would be left alone.  Sam fell asleep shortly after, his mind spinning after the long drive from California.

 

 Dean spent the rest of the day  thinking, planning and plotting.  He kept an eye on his brother through the Perspex window, waiting for Sam to wake up or if he was already awake to join him in his escape plans.  There were small holes for ventilation around the wall so they would be able to talk without the carers or guards hearing, so long as they were quiet. The next day, Dean woke up determined, Cas was working this afternoon, Dean remembered and was counting down the minutes until he could see his mate.  Dean ate his breakfast quietly watching Sam as he did the same.  On closer inspection Sam was much worse than Dean had thought, even the way Sam moved had changed, whereas before his movements were long and flowing, something’s clumsy if he had had a beer or two, now they were quick and defensive, he made himself as small as he could, crouched into a ball while Sam ate his porridge.  When they had both finished, Dean was going to get Sam to talk to him somehow. 

 

Before he could think about that, a voice came from outside the two cells that made Dean’s heart drop right to his bare feet.  It made him feel physically sick.  No, Dean thought, it wouldn’t be.  Anyone but him.  Dean’s mind raced away, praying that his brain had played tricks on him, praying he was wrong.  He glanced up just in time to see Alistair step out from the shadows and into the artificial light cast from the cells.  His shape was as intimidating and sinister as Dean remembered.  His long slim figure betraying his Alpha status, his long bony fingers rested on his chin as his eyes slowly examined Dean, in the same way someone might appraise a piece of art.  It made Dean shiver with dread.

 

“Hello again Dean.” The nasally pitched tones of Alistair’s voice triggered another shiver, the words were dripping with poison and barely concealed glee.  Dean could see the dark pleasure in Alistair’s eyes, it was the same glint that shone when Dean was made to apologise for an infraction back as basic training.  Dean knew the sicko gets off on suffering in general and it seemed, Dean’s in particular.  Dean had no response for the Colonel.  He sat and willed the man to go away, to leave him and his brother alone.  He hoped with everything he had that what they were going through was enough to satisfy Alistair’s need for suffering.  “I’m sure Sam’s given you an insight into our knew Alpha breeding scheme.  We admit it isn’t perfect but we will have to make do.  You know, people will do anything for a bit of glory these days.  The number of couples willing to breed with an Alpha so they can be one of the ‘Saviours of Alpha kind!’ it’s remarkable.  They just sign up, and turn up to ride their local Alpha and there you have it.”

 

Alistair’s voice had Sam pinned to the spot, unable to look away from the slender man.  Sam knew that the colonel had an unhealthy obsession with Dean, he liked nothing more than to wind Dean up or to torture him psychologically for days back at basic training.  Alistair talking about his rape so casually made Sam want to scream and shout.  It was not ok for him to be treated this way.

 

Dean’s head snapped up.  “That doesn’t even guarantee you one hundred percent Alphas Alpha’s you stupid fuck!”

 

“We know, that’s why we have had to double our projected numbers of Omegas we would need to breed you with.”

 

“Go to hell Alistair!”

 

“I was told you had promised to comply with our requests if your brother was transported here Dean.”  The colonel’s voice held mock disappointment, although he was so pleased that Dean was still as feisty and as stubborn as Alistair remembered.  Both the Winchester boys approached the Perspex wall looking out to the rest of facility. Murderous glares n both sets of eyes.  Alistair knew what cards he had to play and it knock them both out, Dean especially.  Dean was going to _have_  to consent to something he would never do.   His forced submission was going to be beautiful.

 

“I said I would give you samples.  Sounds like you guys have moved on from that.” 

 

“Yes you’re right we have, we now have a quota of Omegas that need to be bred with.  Sam has already bred with one Omega, now it’s your turn Dean.”

 

“No.  We won’t do it.  Neither of us will.”  Dean shouted.  

 

 “We had full control over Sam, we can drug him, truss him up and force him to knot.  It’s your choice whether he has to go through it twice as much to cover your share of the Omegas.  We have a quota, it will get filled one way of another.”

 

“You bastard!”  Dean could only whisper now, his anger dissolved instantly.  He was completely out of options, he was out of ideas.  He was well and truly screwed and there was no way out without Sam paying the price.  The horror of the whole exchange played out in his face.

 

“No!  You can’t do that!  I’ll do it!  I’ll take them all just leave Dean alone!  Please!”  It was the last thing Sam had to offer to keep the small amount of hope he had left alive.  If he could stop Dean from being used, maybe Dean could find a way to escape.

 

“No Sam.”  Dean was quick to stop his brother’s pleading.  He turned back to Alistair, tears already streaming down his face.  “I’ll do it.”  He bowed his head with the weight of what his actions meant.  He sent a silent apology to Cas in his head, it almost sounded like a prayer.  Praying to be saved, praying for forgiveness for what he was about to do. 

 

“Good.  I’ll be back in a few hours for you Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Alistair waaaaaaaaay more creepy than I originally intended. your thoughts?


	28. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please comment or (if you liked what you read) kudos :)

Castiel was up at seven AM, reading the morning paper, written by his employers, his brain not managing to comprehend what his eyes saw.  There was an admission from the Alpha Sec, the article had been taken from their homes but stated they were being protected from further depletion.  The article claimed _all_ of the Alphas were willing to go along with the steps to secure Alpha-Kind.  They were being held in secure, undisclosed locations Cas thought it was all over, the Government owning up to their mistakes and letting everyone go.  For a couple of minutes Cas could have leapt with joy, only as he kept reading the article did the reason for the admission come out.  The Alpha Sec was looking for Omegas to breed with the Alphas.  The sickening idea was being spun as a ‘remarkable opportunity to save Alpha kind.’  There was scaremongering stating, ‘the loss of Alpha kind could spell the end of Alpha kind in America if the Pale-Ones decided to retaliate.’  There was also a ridiculous poster, an adaption of the iconic war poster with ‘Uncle Sam’ with the slogan ‘We Want YOU for the Omega Breeding Programme.’  The sign up station was the Lawrence Town Hall, the article explained the sign up station will be in the cities and towns close to an Alpha.  That means... Cas shook the thought away... He tried to focus on the article, he tried to find another conclusion.  There wasn’t one.  They were going to use Dean.  

 

Dean wouldn’t go through with it, he would stand strong and not let them take that much from him.  His Alpha was strong.  There was nothing that they could use to make Dean bow to their wishes.  Or was there?  Castiel thought back to the desperation in Dean’s eyes when he asked for information about his brother.  A wave of nauseating realisation slammed into him.  It was awful to think but Castiel hoped with all his heart the brothers were still separated, that they hadn’t been moved since he was last working.  Castiel knew Dean would do anything to protect his brother.  Even... Castiel shook his head, he would save his Alpha if it was the last thing he did.

 

Without a second thought, Cas was on the phone to his boss, demanding more information.  “I don’t know what else you want to know, Cas.  The Alpha Section released a statement and information about the Alphas.  It’s not the end of the world really.”

 

“But can’t you see?!?!  They are lying!  I know they are. I can get proof!”

 

“You said that weeks ago, Castiel.” 

 

“The Alpha Sec are admitting involvement in the disappearances in the Alphas after avoiding the truth for so long.  Is it that much of a stretch that they are withholding more information?”

 

“Castiel!  Drop it!  You have clearly gone off the reservation and are letting the conspiracy theorists get to your head.  You’ve been off for weeks on this so called story and I’m done with it now!  You’re fired Castiel.”

 

                Castiel stared at the handset as the line went dead.  By seven-fifteen he was unemployed. Well now he was well and truly fucked.  He would run out of money soon enough, his True Mate was going to used in God knows what way.  Before he could succumb to the panic, he had an idea.  He was going to have to take control.  Something, as an Omega, he generally didn’t do often.  The Alpha in his life was in danger and it was down to Castiel alone to save him, and his brother, and take on the Alpha Sec, possibly the government too.  Cas thought he might require some back-up and he knew exactly who to turn to.

               

                He found the address of a life science department at the University Of Kansas, just under an hour away that looked promising.  He phoned the number to confirm Professor Chuck Shurley was still working there.  He breathed a sigh of relief when the receptionist announced Professor Shurley was just back recently from a sabbatical as of few days ago. 

 

By eight AM Castiel was furiously driving to the university, his head swimming.  He was sure he reeked of distress, his Omega scent betraying the calm he was trying to hold on to whilst he drove.  He tried to stop himself from thinking about his Alpha being used to produce pups for some other gullible Omega.  He shook the image from his head. 

 

                Within an hour, Castiel was banging on an office door.  He breathed a sigh of relief when Chuck answered the door, although he had to force his foot in the door when it was nearly slammed in his face.  “CHUCK!  We need to talk. Now!”  He used all his strength to force the door open, happily with Chick also being an Omega he was able to push through.  “You know what the Alpha Sec are planning don’t you?  You know that horror those Alphas are going through!”

 

“Look sorry!  I don’t know what you’re on about. You need to leave.”  Chuck looked shifty, he was definitely hiding something.  He was looking around the room for something.

 

“You were going to tell me once; I know you were!  You’re going to tell me now.  PLEASE!”

 

“Look, Castiel.  Forget about it.  The Alphas had it coming, I’m sure.  Just leave it alone, you shouldn’t be running around saying these things.”  Again, Chuck’s eyes were darting around the room.

 

“They threatened you didn’t they?  To keep quiet?  Please Chuck, we can take them all down, we can take it all down but I need your help!”

 

“Why do you care so much Castiel?”  Chuck gave Castiel a questioning look and was experimentally sniffing the air.

 

“It’s not right what they are doing!  Surely you can see that!”

 

“Oh God!  Castiel please tell me you aren’t Mated to Dean.”

 

“What?”   Castiel froze he was risking a lot to be here, possibly Dean’s life if Chuck ratted them out to the Alpha Sec he was hoping to keep his relationship with Dean a secret from as many people as possible.

 

“You smell different, just slightly, you smell just a touch like Dean, mixed in with your scent.  You’ve not been claimed by him though, otherwise it would be stronger.”

 

Castiel hadn’t factored that into his plan, any Beta wouldn’t be able to pick up the subtle scent change, their senses are weaker than Alpha’s and Omega’s.  That’s why none of the carers had noticed anything, for the most part they were Betas.  Omega’s were attuned to each other’s scent so they could smell how much competition there was, who was Mated to whom.  “I can’t leave Dean there.  We have to get him out!  Please!  You know that place, you had access to all areas in the facility there _has_ to be away to get them out.”

 

Chuck sighed, running his hand down his face.  He was sick and tired of waiting for the Alpha Sec to decide he couldn’t be trusted to walk about freely, or for them to decide he could be useful again.  He had been living in constant fear since he was fired.  For better or for worse he wanted this whole saga to be over.  “Ok, fine.  I need a map of the facility though, need to start planning.”

 

“I can hack the facility’s computer system, see if there’s anything there.  Thank you Chuck!  I owe you, big time!”

 

“Let’s just not die first huh?!”

 

Castiel set about hacking into restricted files and accessed the blue prints for the facility that held Dean.  He squinted at the prints, it didn’t look familiar, there were some new segments, and an outdoor area.  Castiel frowned, he’s sure he knew the place well now, he looked at the date on the prints, it was only a week old.  They must have changed stuff since he was last working. On closer inspection, Castiel could work out what they had done, they added a new cell, which mean there must be another Alpha.  “Oh god!”

 

“What?”

 

“There’s another cell been built, they must have transferred Sam.”

 

“And?”  Chuck didn’t know the Alphas all that well, he tried to keep his distance as much as he could, otherwise the guilt was too much to bear.

 

“I think whoever is in charge is going to use Sam to make Dean do whatever they want.”  Castiel’s voice almost broke.  He tried to hold his emotions in.  He could be strong for his Alpha.

 

“We will do what we can to get them out.  Look, here.” Chuck pointed to the blueprints, specifically to the outdoor area, “these plans were cobbled together quickly, the quality is probably pretty poor, the boys would just need to use something blunt to knock out the corner fixing, they could probably squeeze through the gap, run across the roof to the store, where the cars are kept.  They leave the keys on the wheel arch.  From there they would just need to drive like stink out of the area, hell out of the country if they could.”

 

“How do you know all of this?” 

 

“Every base is kinda similar, saves having to retrain all the members of staff if everything is in the same place.  I’ve been ferried between bases a lot.  It’s not all that secure, huh?”

 

“Small mercies,” Castiel grumbled. “Ok, well we still need somewhere off the grid.  I’ll book a motel a few towns away, under a random name, I’ll tell the boys where to head for.  I’ll go in later on and tell them the plan, I’ll have to be working that day, give them plenty of time before ‘raising the alarm.’  You think it will work?”

 

“The riskiest bit is the jump down off the wall towards the store, an awkward landing could cause problems.”

 

It was a huge risk but they were all out of options.  Rash and drastic was all they had left.  Castiel nodded, chewing his lip.  He gathered up the prints, Chuck set about picking up a few personal belongings from his office.  The pair of Omegas left the university wordlessly, they would make a more detailed plan once Castiel was at work and could speak to Dean, or both the brothers together.  Castiel prayed that he would get there before anymore had happened to his Alpha.

 

Chuck was dropped off at Castiel’s apartment before he made his way to the facility.  He passed through security with no problems, he wouldn’t give them any reason to doubt him, not now.  He made his way to Dean’s cell and was surprised to find it empty.  He went back out to the security desk and found Cliff reading a magazine.  “Hey Cliff, Where’s Dean?”

 

“Oh yeah you haven’t been here in a couple days huh, it’s all change, follow the corridor beside the cells, it’ll lead you to the, um, breeding area.”  Cliff looked uncomfortable getting the last few words out, as if they were unsavoury.  Castiel wanted to probe further, see if he could maybe recruit another ally, however he needed to see Dean.  His mind was on one track.  He turned on his heel and marched through the corridors.  With every step his mind chanting ‘Please, no.’ He turned round one last corner, he heard the unmistakable cry out of his Alpha, it was a strangled cry, something much more than pain.  Castiel burst into the room where he heard the yell.  He paled at the scene before him.


	29. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) kudos :)
> 
> ALSO
> 
> can people let me know if the longer chapter is better?? Does it make for more fluid reading???

~A few hours earlier~

It was late morning.  Dean couldn’t determine how much time had passed since he saw Alistair earlier.  It had proved to be its own torture.  Every footstep, every creak of the air conditioning had him flinching, his nerves were pulled so tight he just wanted to scream.  He held himself together by knowing at least his brother wasn’t going to be punished.  It didn’t change much though, they were both still going to be...  Dean couldn’t bring himself to think any further.  Instead he tried to look over at his brother, that was a mistake.  Sam was staring at him, a mix of pity and desolation. 

 

Eventually his door was opened, security guards entered holding a different set of cuffs to the normal ones, they had loops on them, there were also four cuffs.  Dean was backing away from the guards.  His Alpha instincts were yelling at him to run, to fight back.  He wasn’t going to allow himself to be trussed up, Dean pulled his lips back and bared his teeth, snarling at the intruders.  He was readying himself for attach when, again one voice had him stopped in his tracks.

 

“Dean, Dean, Dean.  You never were one to make things easy for yourself were you?”  Dean instantly dropped out of Alpha mode, Alistair’s voice had a way of making him feel small, useless and powerless.  “Don’t you remember our little agreement earlier?  If you don’t fill your quota of Omegas, little Sammy has to take your place, on top of his own quota of course.” 

 

The nasally drawl of Alistair’s voice sent shivered up Dean’s spine, he stood there, shaking, at war with himself.  He didn’t want to give in to Alistair, but he wasn’t going to make Sam pay for his stubbornness.  As his soul split into two he straightened up from his defensive crouch he had taken up.  The guards approached him and attached the wrist cuffs, attaching then together behind his back.  Only then did Alistair enter the room. 

 

“Leave us, I’ll deliver him to the breeding room on my own, he won’t be any trouble now.”  The security guards left the cell, closing the door behind them, sealing Dean in with his worst nightmare.  “I always loved the way you perform for me Dean.  I just wind you up.”  Alistair ran a couple of fingers up Dean’s forearm towards his shoulder, Dean had to suppress a shudder of disgust, “and watch you go.”

 

Alistair could barely contain his joy.  He had his best pet back and he was as easy to manipulate as he was before.  Alistair’s favourite torture was art of choice.  His victims always picked to go along with his game.  Like Dean, who would choose to be raped, rather than let his brother have to go through it twice over.  Alistair wondered idly how far he could push Dean.  He was confident he could have Dean offering his arms to be bound with no resistance in days, maybe he could have Dean begging to be ridden by Omegas in a week or so.  He could use Sam as currency, maybe exchange a day off for Sam if Dean took his quota.  Alistair chuckled to himself and traced his fingers over Dean’s chin.  He would just have to be mindful, he can’t let his games become too obvious, the Alpha Sec were misguided sure, but they probably would frown on his extracurricular activities with Dean.

 

“Why are you doing this?  Why Sam?  Why me?”  Dean held his voice steady, he had let Alistair catch him off guard initially but he would not let the psychopath get to him anymore.

 

“Sam has nothing to do with it, not for me.  He’s just part of the whole making more Alphas.  But you Dean, well I missed our time at basic training, I missed your scent.”  Alistair inhaled deeply, his facial features settled into a frown, he sniffed a few more times.  “Your scent, it’s changed.  It’s sweeter.”  Dean did his best to keep his expression coldly neutral but inside he was freaking out.  Alistair could _not_ find out about Cas.  He didn’t want the sicko in front of him to know Cas’ scent mixed with his own.

 

“You’re imagining things in your old age Alistair.”  Dean had to work hard to keep his voice even.

 

“No.  I’m not.”  Alistair kept sniffing at him as if his scent was telling a story.  “You’ve met your True Mate,” sniff, “but you haven’t claimed them yet.  Well I’m sure whoever it is probably has been taken care of now, same as your brother’s over there.  I hear she was quite a _pistol”_

 

Dean stood wordlessly, he could feel Sam’s gaze boring into him, he couldn’t bring himself to look at his brother, it would break what little hold he had on his emotions.  “You’re a sick bastard, you know that right!”  Dean was close up into Alistair’s face, trying to put as much threat as he could into his voice.  He strained against is bonds in frustration when the only reaction he elicited was a chuckle from the colonel.

 

“Ok Dean, come along now, it’s time for you to start filling your quota, or poor little Sammy will have to do it for you.”  Dean’s head bowed, he was screwed in every sense of the word, he had nothing to fight with, Alistair had him trapped.  He had always had a way of getting into Dean’s head, usually through Sam.  Dean took a lungful of air and willed his legs to carry him forwards.  He was led, with Alistair putting a hand on his bicep, towards the ‘breeding area.’  Dean still couldn’t look at Sam, but he could hear his brother screaming in protest, pounding on the Perspex.

 

The breeding area was a lot like his cell, except for the bed, which had tether points at the corners.  It made Dean want to run like hell, however, he was already locked into the cell, Alistair still holding his arm in a painful, sharp grip.  The other hand releasing the clip binding his arms together. “Dean, strip off.”  Alistair commanded, when Dean stood there unmoving, the colonel rolled his eyes and started to walk away.  “I’m bored of this now, but in time Dean you will learn.”  He exited the cell as four security guards entered the cell, they flooded Dean and in an instant, Dean was padlocked to the tether points, spread eagle.  One of the carers was then cutting off his scrubs, another forcing a gag into his mouth.  Every second of the way Dean fought them, he couldn’t let himself be taken like this, his instincts wouldn’t let him.  He screamed profanities from behind the gag, again, the nasally voice over a tannoid had him quieting.  “Remember Dean, if you don’t fill your quota, Sam will.”  Dean lay there, trying to get his breathing under control, it must have taken them a while to get everything in order when door opened Dean wondered if anything was going to happen at all.

 

The door opened and a female Omega entered, wearing only a dressing gown.  She was unremarkable in appearance, brown hair, muddy green eyes, very average in every way.  Dean watched her approach him, she looked completely oblivious to his distress, Dean wondered what the hell they thought, how could anyone assume they would be here, strung up six ways from Sunday waiting to be fucked.  The woman started talking, “They said you were a bit nervous.” She looked down to his flaccid, uninterested dick, “That’s ok, I’m a bit nervous too but your very attractive...” She was tracing her fingers over his chest, it was gentle and soft, the tender touch reminding him of the shower he shared with Cas a couple of days ago.  Cas, Castiel, Dean closed his eyes and let his mind take over.  He imagined it was Cas’ fingers tracing over him, he sighed, half because of the pleasant memory and half with relief that his dick started to grow with arousal.

 

The smell of Omega arousal filled his nose, the woman smelled of fresh baked cakes, it was pleasant enough but nothing close to the sweet cherry scent of his Cas.  The memory of Castiel’s scent fuelled Dean’s arousal, soon he was fully hard, his eyes still clamped shut, firmly imagining his Cas was there caressing every inch of him.  Dean felt the weight of the bed as the omega woman climbed on top and delicately eased herself onto him.  He couldn’t ignore the warmth that surrounded his length, a groan escaping from behind the gag.  Again, Dean was picturing Cas on top of him, circling his hips, thrusting along his shaft.

 

As time passed, Dean was nearing his completion, he could feel his knot building, the omega woman still thrusting up and down.  Dean was long gone in his own fantasy, Cas there working him to completion, he opened his eyes, hoping to see those sapphire blue eyes staring lovingly back at him.  Instead, there were muddy brown eyes staring at him with lust, but nothing more.  The realisation hit him, he had been using Castiel’s memory to make his own rape bearable, he had brought something as pure and as good as Cas into the fucked up situation.  As the thoughts flashed into his brain the Omega woman gave a couple quick thrusts, sending Dean over the edge, his knot locking them together.  Dean gave a strangled cry, it wasn’t one of pleasure, it was one of desolation and anguish.  He disgusted even himself.  He had sullied his True Mate’s memory, taking it into this sordid affair.  He heard the door to the cell, Dean glanced around, expecting to see Alistair, instead, those ocean blue eyes were staring at him in horror.  Dean let a sob rip through his chest as the Omega on top of him rolled her hips milking his knot for everything he had.

 

Castiel stood in the open doorway, frozen.  The woman on top of Dean seemed uncaring about the intrusion.  Dean stared back at him, emotions clear to see despite the gag.  He looked ashamed, angry and disgusted.  Castiel couldn’t bear to see his Alpha like that, it was an effort not to run over and shove the Omega off Dean, knot or no knot.  Instead Castiel mumbled something about checking everything was ok before rushing back through to the main cell area, to the staff toilets.  Once he was safely locked way from the world, he emptied the contents of his stomach, retching heavily into the toilet.  It felt he had been vomiting for hours, he flushed and went out, rinsing the sour taste out of his mouth.  He braced his hands on either side of the sink, breathing heavily.  As on Omega he wasn’t built to hold much rage, back when Omega’s didn’t hold equal rights, Alphas could have as many Omegas as they wanted, even if they were pair bonded. They just accepted what the Alphas did, either that or expressed their displeasure through tears.  As a result Cas was pushing the heel of his hands into his eyes, trying to push the tears back.  He couldn’t come all this way and freak out now.  He had to keep going with his plan, he needed to talk to Dean.  Get him out of there.

 

Eventually, Dean’s knot had receded enough for the Omega woman to climb off, she thanked him for serving his country and saving the species.  Dean lay there, he felt used, dirty, ashamed.  He remembered the look on Cas’ face, another round of sobbing tore out of him, he strained against his bonds, trying to hide his face, he assumed Alistair would be watching from somewhere, drinking in his humiliation and pain.  How could he ever try to be Castiel’s Alpha now?  Surely Cas wouldn’t want to be with him, he was used, damaged goods now, not that he wasn’t before but now he was dirty.  All hope drained away with ever tear.  Sam was right; it hurts more when you hope.

 

Dean was still quietly sobbing when the carers came in to take him back to the cell.  Whist he was still bound, they cleaned up the Omega’s slick that had messed his groin, quick and clinical hands on his flaccid cock, it was oversensitive and the touch pulled whimpers from Dean’s lips.  He just wanted to die.  Nothing could be worse than this.  His Omega had seen him being raped, he was completely unable to defend himself, he had been used against his will.  The world could end at that precise moment and Dean would be thankful.  He didn’t even particularly want his freedom back anymore, it has been over a month since he was abducted, he had been used and abused, drugged and raped, he didn’t want to go out into the real world and face it.  He wouldn’t be able to look anyone in the eye.  He didn’t want to see the pity, the silent judgement.  The alternative to escaping, something that was looking less and less likely, was to let go of everything he was still fighting for, to let go of Cas, to let go of his life outside this place and just give up.

 

As much as that thought sounded easier, straight forward and something he could do there and then, something dug away at him from inside.  Cas, he couldn’t leave Cas.  Even though he was broken and used, he was still Cas’ Alpha and while he was sorry that his Omega was given such a crap Alpha, he would have to try and do his best to make things better.  He had to get out of here so he could spend the rest of his life trying to be something worthy of Cas’ affections.  That’s if Cas ever spoke to him again.  Dean’s heart gave a nervous lurch at that.

 

Castiel eventually managed to pull himself together and leave the toilets.  He couldn’t afford to falter now.  He had to plan, he had to speak to Dean, he had to make sure his Alpha was ok.  He would fight for his Alpha, he wasn’t going to let him wither in here, used by any Omega.  Dean was _his._   A jolt of possessive jealously spiked through him, giving him the push he needed to push him forwards.  He made his way to the main cell area.  It was only then he registered the other Alpha being held.

 

The other Alpha in the cell area was screaming every profanity under the sun.  Beating the see through wall with his fist, so hard that there was smears of blood along the Perspex.  The Alpha’s eyes were hazel brown they should have looked gentle but instead were on the edge of insanity.  Castiel walked over cautiously, this must be the other Winchester brother, Sam.  Castiel couldn’t believe his eyes, he couldn’t believe the Alpha Sec had managed to push the Alphas to this stage already, Sam looked manic, is this how all the other Alphas are feeling, reacting, how would any of them survive if they ever escaped.  _When._ It had to be _when_ they escaped, not _if_.  Castiel couldn’t handle _if._

 

“Sam?  Sam Winchester?”  Castiel tried to put on his meek, Omega voice.  Sometimes it helped him talk himself out of a situation when he was interviewing Alphas, sometimes it triggered a protective instinct, or snapped them out of whatever Alpha fuelled haze they were in.   Castiel could see it worked slightly, Sam’s eyes focused slightly, looking for the voice, glancing over to the other cell to see if he could see Dean.  Hazel eyes then flicked back to Castiel, narrowing in question.

 

“Who are you?  Bring my brother back now!”  Sam slammed his fist against the Perspex once again, refreshing the bloody smears.  It was enough to make Castiel jump.  Even if he was being brave and embarking on a mission no Omega could even dream of.  His Omega instincts were screaming at him to run away, or to cower in fear.

 

“My name is Castiel, or Jimmy, I don’t know how much Dean had told you!  I’m on your side, I’m trying to find a way to get you out.”  Castiel used every trick he knew of to try and show signs of submission, he flickered between eye contact and breaking it, keeping his head a tad lower than normal, his voice as soft as he could.  Normally he would balk at the thought of behaving so traditionally, it was something his brothers had tried to drill into him.  It was only now he was glad he knew these tricks, he very rarely had to try to win over an Alpha, normally they would be chasing after him.

 

“Castiel...  Dean mentioned you.”  Sam seemed to respond well, he looked a lot less feral, less likely to lash out.  “Castiel, I’m sorry.  They’ve taken him...”

 

“I know.”  Castiel didn’t want to be reminded of where Dean was.  “Look, I need more time, I need to get you two outside to show you something.  I need you to get Dean outside, both of you.  Ok?”

 

“Castiel, look man, we appreciate the efforts but there’s no way we can...”  Sam had a look of complete disappear, as if he had already given up, resigned to this life, Cas could only pray that Dean didn’t feel the same way already.  As if a switch was flicked, Castiel shed his Omega moves and gave Sam a threatening look.

 

“Sam.  Dean is my True Mate.  I _will_ get him out of here.  I’m getting the feeling he won’t leave without you therefore I _will_ get you out as well.  Understand that. And get Dean outside.”  Castiel was breathing heavily after his little outburst, “Please.”  Sam nodded but said nothing.

 

The discussion was broken when they heard the door open, Dean was being led through to the Cells by a very sinister looking Alpha, he had a long face, a wiry greying beard and a look of smug disgust on his face.  Dean had his hands bound behind his back, his head hanging low, not even seeing Castiel as they passed.  Dean was stumbling as if barely able to keep himself up with his own legs.  The older Alpha uncuffed Dean and whispered something in Dean’s ear, causing Dean to look up, an expression of alarm, quickly followed by one of defeat.  It was only then that Dean met his gaze.  Castiel tried to give a comforting smile through the glass but the older Alpha was making his way towards the door so Cas schooled his expression.  As he passed, Cas could feel the Alpha sniffing the air, he looked up to the Alpha, meeting a questioning gaze before striding off muttering about catching a plane to Phoenix of something.  Castiel couldn’t say what it was exactly but the whole moment sent a shiver down his spine.  It made him very uneasy and hoped he wouldn’t have to see that Alpha again.

 

Dean couldn’t look at Castiel, it was pointless, Castiel wouldn’t want him now.  He would, _should_ want an Alpha who can look after him, or given the lack of Alphas, even a strong Beta would do a better job than him right now.  He felt dirty, even more so when Alistair had whispered to him, his tongue just catching his ear with certain words, “You put up a good fight today kid, but next time, if you struggle, Sam will pay the price.  You will offer yourself up, you will be willing for me, you _will_ submit to me.”  The worst part was that he knew Alistair was right, the only thing he had control over right now was how much Sam had to suffer and Dean wasn’t about to let Sam take any more hits than necessary.  Once Alistair had left, Cas seemed to busy himself with other tasks, keeping up appearances.  It was becoming clear, thankfully, there was no Omega for Sam today, Dean breathed a small sigh of relief.  He moved over to the see through wall separating their cells.  Sam approached a concerned look on his face.

 

“Dean!  What happened? Did they?..”

 

“Yeah...  I don’t, I can’t...”  Dean couldn’t even form words to describe how he was feeling, he needed to think about anything other than the last hour of his life.

 

“I spoke to Jimmy.  We should ask to go outside, might be good to clear your head?”  Sam didn’t dare to hope any scheme to get out of here would work, but he would at least try, if there was even half a shot that Dean could get out of here, Sam shouldn’t try and stop it from happening.  Sam used Castiel’s fake name, hoping Dean would understand, but that anyone watching any cameras wouldn’t understand what they were talking about.

 

“Jimmy...  Who the fuck is Jim...  Oh, Sam, I can’t.  You go.  I’ll wait here.”  There was no way in hell Dean could face his True Mate now, not after what just happened.

 

“Dean!”  Sam was trying to hold the frayed pieces of himself together.  He couldn’t afford to hope but he couldn’t bare what was happening to his brother.  Dean needed a bit of faith, he needed a convincing pep talk.  If the escape failed, and Sam had built this up, it could very well end him.  Sam took a deep breath.  The flicker of hope Sam tried to eliminate flared into a great fire.  He would get out of here, so would Dean.  They could do this.  They did it before.  “We can do this.”  Sam could already hear his voice sounding more convincing, more hopeful, “We will get out of here, someday.  But for just now, we.  Need.  To.  Go.  Outside.”  Sam managed to get Dean’s eye contact and held it.  He made himself so vulnerable again with this new lease of hope of freedom, it had better work, whatever Castiel’s plan was.

 

Castiel was outside for about ten minutes, he used a step ladder to check the corner fixing, as Chuck described, with a bit of Alpha strength, the mesh wire across the top of the outdoor area would come loose, Castiel used a knife from the kitchen to unscrew a few of the bolts a bit looser for good measure.  As soon as the boys make their escape, Cas would put in a repair request, try to justify why he was investigating the area.  Castiel checked the vehicles were still where they usually were so that there would be no nasty surprises when it came down to the escape.  He ran the plan over in his head.  It was simple, the only potential problem being the fifteen foot drop from the roof to the floor, but with the boys’ height it was less than ten, that gave his a bit of reassurance. 

 

The pep talk that Sam had given Dean was enough that, for the moment, Dean stopped trying to close himself off from the outside world, he would grovel at Cas’ feet for forgiveness but other than that he was ready to escape.  He needed to get out of here so he could, hopefully, start his life with his Omega.  He hoped that Cas would forgive him, would choose to stay with him.  He hoped and prayed that, for once in his life things might actually go to plan.  He saw Cas enter the main cell area, approaching his cell with those hated handcuffs.  Dean knew he still had to keep up appearances so only put up a token amount of resistance.  The cuffs slid on, Dean barely noticed as he took a deep lungful of air, filling his nose with his True Mate’s scent.  “Ca- Jimmy...”

 

“Corridor, now!”  Castiel knew the cameras and microphones weren’t as prying in the corridors so waited until he was leading Dean down the corridor, he was mindful and held Dean gently by his other elbow, where the older Alpha was gripping Dean earlier, a painful looking bruise was starting to develop.  Once they were in the corridor, Cas paused briefly, where he knew no cameras could see and scented his Alpha.

 

“Cas.  I’m so sorry, I understand if you never want to speak to me again, there’s no excuse for what you saw, I couldn’t hold them off, they strapped me down, I couldn’t fight back.  they were going to hurt Sammy and I couldn’t let that happen but it’s no excuse for what  I did to you please forgive me!”  Everything came tumbling out before Dean realised Cas’ cheek was rubbing along his jaw and down his neck to his shoulder.  Dean automatically turned his head and sniffed at the top of Cas’ head, gulping in the scent as if he was just suffocated.  The Omega pulled away and lent up and gave Dean and gentle, slow kiss on the mouth.  Dean thought this should probably not feel as good as it did.  He should probably be freaking out.  He was raped by an Omega not half an hour ago but here was one rubbing him, kissing him and all it did was push those horrible memories of the other Omega far away.  Cas was _his_ Omega and only _he_ could make Dean feel this good.  Cas’ hands were caressing up and down his arms, circling the small tender bruise on his elbow from Alistair’s possessive grip, it was as if Castiel knew it was there and trying to wipe it off with soft, comforting, loving touches.

 

“There’s nothing for you to apologise for Dean.  None of this is on you.  I have a plan I just need you to get outside so I can show you, and Sam, I already talked to him.”  Cas didn’t stop his scenting and kissing.  He put as much feeling and as much passion as he could ram into his words and his actions.  He was very quickly falling for this selfless, brave and strong Alpha.  He used His Alpha’s strength to embolden him.  Cas loved this Alpha and was going to do _anything_ to get him out of here.

 

That was the reason Dean wasn’t freaking out right now.  _Love_.  It was impossible but true, he loved his Omega.  Even though they barely knew each other they were invariably liked now.  Cas’ presence alone had soothed him so much.  He could spend his whole life with his Omega in his arms.  He had to stop wallowing in his pity pit he had built for himself and fight.  His Omega was here, giving everything he had to give.   Dean had new found strength, he would get out of here, he would face his demons again.  Sam was right, it wasn’t the first time they would have the odds against them.  Dean was getting out of here!  For his Omega, for Cas who he loved.   It even gave him enough strength to joke with his little Omega.  “I didn’t peg you as a kinky type Cas, kissing a guy whilst he cuffed.  Buy me dinner first, geeze.”  Dean felt the corner of his mouth lift into a smirk, it almost felt foreign to him now but it felt so good.  There’s glimpses of heaven in everything, Dean thought, even here.  Cas is here to raise him from perdition.

 

Just before Castiel groaned in pleasure at the taste of his Alpha he pulled away in shock at Dean’s comment.  For a moment he was worried Dean thought he was going to...  Cas didn’t finish that thought when he saw Dean’s half smile.  It managed to just reach his eyes and made him look about five years younger.  Cas smiled and flickered his eyes down to the floor, slightly embarrassed at how full on he was coming onto his Alpha.  “Sorry.”  He said he flashed his gaze up to Dean’s apple green eyes.

 

“I’m pretty sure I was the one apologising to you.”  Dean’s voice was soft, caring and smooth.  It made Cas feel protected and safe, even here.  Even though, technically he was the one doing the saving, it still gave him strength.

 

“Why don’t we stop apologising to each other and get the hell out of here?  Take me to the outdoor area, then bring Sam.”  Dean suggested before planting a chaste kiss on Cas’ lips.  He strode forwards and threw in a stumble or two for the camera’s benefit.

 

Cas hurried back to the main cells to find Sam already standing in the centre of the room hands behind his back, waiting.  It caused Castiel a lot of concern that such a big Alpha had been reduced to obeying an Omega’s command, they were supposed to be equal.  This wasn’t equality.  Castiel didn’t sit on those thoughts for long, he wordlessly cuffed Sam and walked with him to the outdoor area.  He had to keep them both cuffed as the protocol stated if there was only one carer.  Who knows who would be watching so he had to keep up his appearance.  Castiel made sure he positioned the boys so that the camera couldn’t see his face, he kept his voice so the microphone wouldn’t be able to pick up everything he was saying, “I’ve been speaking to Chuck, the professor,”  he had to wait until Sam had finished snarling at the name, “He wasn’t here willingly, they were threatening him.  He’s a good guy really.  He thought the corner fixing to my right would be poor quality, he was right.  I’ve managed to loosen a bit for you.  I will go away for half an hour, for a coffee break while you guys ‘catch up’.  That should be enough time for you to get out of your cuffs, make the whole bigger in the mesh, climb up to the roof.  Head east, that’s where they keep the vehicles, they keep the keys in a wheel arch of the vehicle, get a big vehicle, if they realise you are gone before I get back you will have to crash through the fence.  Make for Pittsburgh, it’s directly south from Kansas City, go to the third Motel in the yellow pages.  Use the alias, Mike Havers.  That’s how I’ll find you.”

 

Dean nodded along with the plan.  This was it.  There was no going back, it was all or nothing.  He held the key Cas had slipped him between two fingers, one of his cuffs was hanging around his wrist, far too loose, it would be no problem to slip it off.  Cas had slipped the key to him during their impromptu session in the corridor.  Dean steeled himself, no dancing in the end zone, he reminded himself.  He still needed to get Sam out of here too.  Hopefully Cas would get out unharmed.  Alistair was gone, that was a blessing, he must have business at another base or whatever.  Dean wanted one last scent of his Omega before the escape, a bit of courage drawn from his Omega.  He walked over to Cas, in a threatening way, getting Cas to back up until he was at a point the cameras wouldn’t be able to see them, he took in his Omega’s scent and whispered “I love you Cas.”

 

 Castiel was convinced his heart was going to give out any second.  First, when Dean looked like he was going to attack him, Cas’ heart skipped a beat preparing to run away, then Dean had scented him and soothed him instantly.  Only momentarily did he gain some composure when Dean had said those three words Cas never thought he would hear, much less from an Alpha.  It took a second for Castiel’s brain to catch up, “I love you too.  I will see you on the other side.” He landed a quick kiss on Dean’s lips before pushing him back to beside Sam, even with all his force, Dean had to act like he was being over powered and staggered backwards.  Cas strode away from the Alphas and out the door.  Leaving Sam, Dean and an escape plan.


	30. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you liked what you read) kudos :)
> 
>  
> 
> Reeeaal A+ parenting from Johnny boy here.
> 
> Also tag for very mild gore. like Canon level gore. a mere smattering of blood if you will.

Alistair was thrilled with Dean’s performance. The thrill was watching Dean fall apart so obviously.  Dean’s face was an open book of emotion, all you had to do was push the right buttons and Dean would give such a good show.  Dean always starts so defiant and angry but soon enough, once he had been shown he is powerless, once he has been used, once he realises who is in charge he crumbles so fully, Alistair drank in Dean’s turmoil as the Omega woman used him, it was a sight to behold.  The only way it could be improved would be if Alistair had Dean all to himself.  He would have that boy strapped to his rack, see what cries of pain he could elicit.  He could spend hours with Dean, making him hurt, making him choose how he got hurt.  Alistair pulled himself away from his lusting thoughts, he schooled his expression and went downstairs from the viewing area to collect _his_ Alpha. 

 

He led Dean back to his cell, knowing he was holding too tight, he wanted to mark the boy, a sign of ownership over the Alpha.  He whispered his threat wanting nothing more than to run his tongue along Dean’s tear stained face, tasting his despair and pain.  Alistair could imagine it tasting so salty-sweet.  It brought a smug sneer to his face at Dean’s reaction, again, such a clear show of emotion.  It made it all just too tempting.  He uncuffed Dean and left the cell, he was on a tight schedule, they were having a huge success with the breeding programme in Phoenix so he was to go across and see what was the key to making the Alphas do their breeding.  He had a flight to catch and had about half an hour of paperwork to fill in.  If Alistair had Dean to himself, at home, his to control, he wouldn’t have to do so much damn paperwork. 

 

The office in the facility was the same as all the other offices in any other base in the country, it was simple, had a desk and a computer, the colonel sat at the desk and starting typing away his various reports he was asked to do by Colonel Azazel.  Azazel was so obsessed with Sam for some reason, thought Sam was going to become some leader of the next generation of the Alpha Army, he had big plans for the younger Winchester.  Alistair answered the questions the best he could.  He was much more interested in torturing Dean, breaking souls _that_ was where all the fun was.

 

Just before Alistair was about to shut everything down and leave for Phoenix he received a call from a relatively newly appointed Sergeant, the name on the screen surprised him.  He wondered if there was any relation between this Sergeant Winchester and the Winchester brothers.

 

“Yes?”  Alistair couldn’t help his curiosity, he needed to know, this could prove to be priceless information.

 

“Is that Colonel Alistair?  I just got off the phone from Colonel Azazel, he said I should speak to you about your _project_.”  On the other end of the phone John Winchester was hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.  He had just read some very disturbing news on the progress reports from facilities holding Alphas around America, he just needed to check to make sure Sam and Dean weren’t being treating in the same way.

 

“What about it?”  Alistair traditionally had a short attention span for everything, apart from the subject of his torture.  He was getting bored of this conversation already.

 

“I was enquiring to the methods of how you got the Alphas to consent to the breeding programme.”

 

“Sergeant Winchester.  I don’t remember seeing your name on any of my rotas, so you aren’t working on a base, so you aren’t on this project, meaning you really don’t need to be knowing that information.”

 

“I am the data analyst and logistics manager, back at HQ.  It was just, I have two sons who are Alphas, I was wondering how you managed to get them to do what you asked, hell I’ve been trying for twenty years.” The fake laugh sounded more forced than John would have liked.

 

“The Winchester brothers are your sons are they?  Well isn’t that interesting.”   The tone in Winchester’s voice suggested there was no love lost, that could prove useful, another knife in Dean’s side.  “That Dean is a bit a spark isn’t he?”

 

“Oh he’s a little shit, but again, how are you managing to get them to follow orders.”

 

“You just have to learn where to apply the right pressure Sergeant.  Your Sam is a lot easier to handle.”

 

“Handle?  Hey now, Colonel, with all due respect I know they can be difficult but I don’t want any harm to come to Sam.  He’s smart, he has a lot to offer.  Dean, well he can be infuriating but he’s my son, I’d appreciate an update as to how they are getting on?”  John bristled, no one was allowed to hurt his children.  Only he was allowed to do that, even then it was for discipline, not being used to force their will.

 

“All the progress reports are on the shared drive, look it up there.”

 

“Yeah sorry Colonel, I did that but I think there has been an error.  It says we are using some weird mix of Pheromones to drug the Alphas, forcing knots.  Surely that’s not right.”

 

“Well, of course not, that surely is a mistake then.   I will look into it.”  Alistair’s voice was less than convincing to John.  That was the second he realised all of his mistakes, what he had forced upon his sons.  They were going to be forced to breed and it is all his fault.  He was so blinded by his own progression.  His own life goals he has pushed his sons into a captive breeding programme.  He knew he was going to have to do something about it.  He would have to get a hold of the media, the Human rights groups would go crazy over this!

 

Alistair slammed the phone down, the conversation had taken some minutes and now he was running late for his plane.  He was just about to run out of the office and into a waiting vehicle when he heard a siren go off.

 

The handcuffs were child’s play, Dean had managed to wriggle his arm out with minimal effort, within seconds both Sam and Dean were standing unbound.  Dean gave Sam a boost using his hands so that Sam could work the corner indicated by Cas loose.  Right enough, the mesh came a away with few strong pulls from Sam’s Alpha strength.  The taller Alpha squeezed through the gap before turning and laying down, reaching for Dean who took a running leap at the wall, his athletic build making light work of the wall, Sam barely had to help to pull him through the gap.

 

Sam looked back at Dean, “East, right?”

 

“Right!”  The brothers padded their way gently across the roof of the complex, heading east, they could see hangars that suggested there may be vehicles there. 

 

Dean’s heart was pounding the whole time.  They were doing it!  They were escaping, it had seemed so helpless before, so impossible but here they were, both of them, making their way home.  Dean was going to start a life with Cas and they would get to know each other properly, they would go on dates, like normal people!  Ok so they may have to go into hiding for a while but he could make a picnic and go for a walk round the woods surrounding one of Bobby’s hunting Cabins maybe.  Dean had to pull himself from his day dream.  He needed to get fully out of here before he could celebrate his freedom, it was just so close, Dean could almost taste it.

 

There were some bitter sweet feelings Sam felt towards escaping.  Of course he didn’t want to stay there, have Jess’ scent wafted in his face every time they wanted an Omega impregnated, but at the same time, to live in the outside world is to live in a world without his Mate, and that was going to hurt, everyday, for the rest of his life.  Dean was the only thing in this world worth living for now.  Supporting Dean after this ordeal in the same way they looked after each other after the war.

 

As they got about three quarters of the way to the edge of the roof, a loud siren went off.   It made the boys jump, they gave each other a silent nod of encouragement, they can do this!  There be enough time for them to leg it to the edge of the roof and make a run for a vehicle.   As they surveyed the area two guards came running underneath where the boys were, they slipped behind the roof, undetected, Dean wasn’t sure how much they would have before the guards circled back around. 

 

“C’mon Sammy let’s go!”  Dean gestured for Sam to go first, Dean couldn’t shake the feeling Sam wasn’t too excited about returning home, probably because it meant having to face a life without Jess.  So Dean encouraged Sam forwards and over the edge of the roof if they lowered themselves down it should only be just over a ten foot drop, they used to do that when they were kids.  They did it before in their escape from the Pale-Ones camp all that time ago.  Sam landed softly on the gravel and hurriedly gestured for Dean to follow.

 

Dean sat on the edge of the roof before using his arms to brace himself and turn to face into the wall before lowering himself down another few feet.  His arms were shaking, already tired having deconditioned after being pretty much sedentary for over a month.  Dean willed his arms to hold himself up just for another couple of seconds.  “Come on!!  Sonovabitch!”   Dean gasped as he slipped, his arm giving way, he slipped down a few inches before he could hook his hand over the edge of the roof, hanging on with both hands, now it was just a case of drooping down, Dean took a couple of steadying breaths, that could have gone very badly if he fallen the full height of the building.  He let go of the wall and remembered to bend his knees ready to take the impact of the fall.

 

There was just a split second in the air that told Dean something was wrong he wasn’t falling straight, he was tilting slightly left, he was going to fall on his leg.  He couldn’t reach out and correct himself there was virtually no time.  When Dean did land his foot missed the gravel, the outside of his knee took the full force of the landing, there was a sickening snap and an excruciating pain lancing from his thigh and down to his foot.  When he managed to look and see what had caused the pain, his whole leg was twisted at a sickening angle just above his knee.  Despite the pain threatening Dean to pass out, he pushed himself up, attempting to at least drag himself to a vehicle, he would get home, no matter what. 

 

He felt Sam’s arms stop him , “Dean, this is going to hurt like a bitch!  I need you to stay quiet, please Dean!”  With one quick tug he ripped the bottom of the scrubs into two lengths of material.  He gingerly moved the good leg to line up with the broken one and tied Dean’s legs together, forming a very rudimental splint.  Dean’s vision was blurring but he fought to keep himself awake, that was one advantage of being an Alpha, incredibly high pain thresholds that were required of it ever came to conflict.  Sam then wrapped his arms around him and lifted him up, he felt the broken bone moving, one was sticking out of the skin, a patch of growing blood was forming though the scrubs.  The pain was unreal.  It was like being stabbed, burnt and electrocuted all at the same time, he couldn’t feel anything beyond the fracture, he could only tell where Sam’s arm was because it was trying to hold the fracture site as still as possible.  Even then Dean could tell they were still a couple hundred meters from the hangar, the siren was only getting louder, signalling their whereabouts, Sam wasn’t going to be able to carry him all the way there, he would be much faster by himself.  He steeled himself for what he was about to do.

 

Sam’s heart was in his mouth, as was his stomach and most of his lunch.  Dean’s leg looked terrible, Sam wondered if he was causing more damage, jostling his brother about, however he knew it was nothing compared to being left in that facility.  It was a bit further than Sam had thought to the hangar holding the vehicles.  His heart was racing and his lungs were on fire.  Back as basic training he could have made that distance with a weight the same as Dean, and he could have done it faster than anyone else, however being at the facility has caused him to become so much weaker he was really struggling, despite the adrenaline coursing through him he could feel himself slowing down, his arms becoming heavier with every step.  He was faltering occasionally.  His foot caught in a rut in the gravel, sending him tumbling to floor, he tried his best to save Dean but a pained, agonised cry still ripped from his brother’s chest.  “I’m so sorry Dean.  C’mon we have to keep going!”  Sam winced at the scrape along Dean’s eyebrow where a stone had caught him as they fell, it was oozing blood, not that Dean could afford to lose anymore.

 

“Sammy...”

 

“NO!  Don’t you dare ‘Sammy’ me!  We will make it!  It’s not that far.”

 

“You gotta go before they come back!”

 

“No Dean, it’s ok.

 

“My leg.”

 

“Forget about your leg, we’ll deal with your leg later!!!  We’ll get you a doctor.”  Sam was frantically trying to gather Dean back up into his arms, careful not to jostle him anymore, he could feel Dean’s limbs becoming heavier.  Dean was starting to lose consciousness

 

“Sam, Hold up...  Hold up.”  Sam lay him back down, scared he had only hurt his brother more.  “I’ve got something to say to you...”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m proud of us.”  Dean closed his eyes, he must have passed out with pain, or blood loss.

 

“Dean?  Dean!  DEAN!!!”  Sam tried to scoop up his brother and make a run for the hanger, convinced it would be easier without Dean screaming with pain, except Deans limbs were like jelly, his broken leg even more so.  He could hear shouting coming from the facility.  The guards must be close.  Sam was ready to give up there and then, go back into captivity with his brother.  He really didn’t want to leave him.  It would go against everything Sam believed in.  Sam whispered into Dean’s ear, “I’ll be back I promise just hold on!”

 

Sam gently laid his brother down and ran full pelt to the hangar his legs not carrying him fast enough, he wanted to scream in frustration, even though his chest was heaving with the effort and his legs were on fire from the effort, he was seemed to be moving so damn slow!  As he entered the vehicle hangar he glanced back to the facility, the door was wrenched open and a group of people rushed towards him.  Sam retrieved the key to an armoured Jeep and climbed in, turning the key and slammed his foot on to the accelerator.  He drove through a wall of guards, sending them scattered across the tarmac, Sam was heading straight for Dean, he would scoop up his brother them make a break for freedom.  His eyes scanned for where he had left his brother, there was no sign of Dean.  The only trace of his brother was a glistening pool of blood where his leg had been bleeding, the small puddle glinting in the moon light, drag marks suggesting Dean had already been taken inside.  “No!!  DEAN!!”

 

Dean must have been out for just a couple of minutes, the lightning sharp stabbing of his bone on his skin pulled him from the peace of unconsciousness.  He was being moved again, Dean opened his eyes and saw the face of a guard looking down at him, a pitying look, as if he was sorry for what was about to happen to him.  Dean couldn’t help but yelp in pain as the guard flung Dean over his shoulder, he tried to use his arms to claw and grab at his captor however his arms were bound behind his back, any attempt to move his legs send glass sharp pain shooting through his whole body.  He caught sight of a vehicle speeding towards where was just lying, his brother had managed to get a car.  Thank God, Sam would be fine, he would be safe.  The jostling of the guard carrying him was making his leg scream with pain, the warmth of his own blood was spreading fast, soaking the scrubs, blackness started to encroach on his vision, his last conscious thought turned to ensuring Sam would escape and not do something stupid like get recaptured again.  His stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch, no Sam can’t be caught!  Alistair can do whatever he wants to Dean, nothing can be as bad as Sam being used against him, nothing is worth than that.  “SAMMY!!  RUN!!  PLEASE!!” 

 

Sam’s head snapped up, He spotted a guard, Dean thrown over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift, Dean’s arms were cuffed behind his back, Dean was looking straight at Sam, his back and neck arched to seek him out.  Sam realised his rudimentary splint would also be doing a good job of keeping Dean’s legs restrained.  Sam couldn’t tear his eyes away from Dean’s pleading look.  Dean was forever telling Sam he had the best puppy dog eyes, that he could get anything he wanted.  At this moment in time, Sam disagreed, Dean had such a helpless, pained expression, the terror that was there, and Sam knew perfectly well that it was not terror for himself, but rather Dean was terrified of Sam being recaptured.  “FIND CAS!  SAMMY FIND CASTIEL!”  Sam nearly threw himself out of the car when he saw Dean go limp over the guard’s shoulder.  Before he could react the guard had reached the door and turned away and out of Sam’s eyeshot.  His attention was dragged away from his brother when he heard the passenger door open.  There was a guard attempting to climb up into the Jeep, Sam reached across and with one swift right hook the man fell out of the car.  He drove through the grounds of the facility, passing the group of guards shooting at him, they ricocheted off the car, Sam safe inside.  As he passed the barrage of bullets he saw the blacked out figure of Alistair standing in the doorway.  Alistair had a gut wrenching smile on his face, like he had won the lottery.  Sam tried not to dwell on it.   Sam kept driving until he got to the gate, the plastic barrier proving no contest to the armour of the vehicle.  Only when Sam was over an hour away from the facility did he afford the luxury of pulling over and weeping for his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have ever seen someones leg face the wrong way you will know why the tag is there. lol!


	31. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you like what you read) kudos :)

Alistair stalked the corridors, cool and calm whilst all the rest of the guards were rushing around.  His first stop was the camera room, there were live feeds from all of the cameras there.  He typed in the security passwords and set about watching the cameras from when Dean was delivered to the cells.  He watched himself whisper in Dean’s ear and quivered at the memory of it, a grin pulling at his lips in response to Dean’s reaction.  He watched as the boys had a brief discussion, the microphones weren’t able to pick out full sentences, it would have to go to the main department for the sound engineers to work on it, which could take days, he heard a name, Jimmy.  He stored that for later, he watched as one of the carers, the Jimmy fellow perhaps, go to the outdoor section with a step ladder, curious, he thought, he used the computer to look up employee logs, he saw that Jimmy Novak, had lodged a repair request on a corner of the outdoor area, so far so boring and routine. 

 

The carer’s next movements made Alistair sit up a bit taller, he watched as Jimmy walked into Dean’s cell and cuffed him with such little resistance from Dean. Alistair wondered if Dean was even trying.  Alistair had seen Dean fight with every fibre of his being, he had seen Dean only being cuffed under extreme duress, he had never seen Dean roll over like a lap dog.  On inspection, Jimmy was quite wiry, messy hair, athletic build but not overly muscled, a clear indication of a male Omega.  Interesting, Alistair thought, he watched the Omega lead Dean and Sam outside, left them bound as per protocol. He cursed the crap quality of the microphones, hardly any words were picked up.  Jimmy was also unhelpfully standing off camera.

 

Alistair’s face turned to a disgusted sneer as he watched Dean easily slip his cuffs and unlock himself, and his brother, he must have had the key, there’s no other way he could have unlocked himself so quickly.  He would need to have words with Omega Jimmy.  He was about to push away from the desk when, in his peripheral vision he saw the boys make for the same corner Jimmy had been inspecting earlier, almost as if they _knew_ it was weaker.  Finally, the boys slipped up, where they climbed up there was one camera which was able to pick up two words, he heard the younger alpha say which direction they were going.  Alistair left the camera room and motioned for an entourage of guards to follow him.  He headed towards the east side of the compound, cursing the maze of corridors.  “They are heading for the vehicle hangar, get them!”  He signalled for the guards to run ahead. 

 

A minute later and Alistair’s heart was positively singing, he heard some shouting, he heard another name ‘Castiel’ it sounded like his Dean shouting, instructing that this ‘Castiel’ had to be found.  Alistair saw Cliff, suddenly his favourite security guard, carrying Dean over his shoulder and down the corridor towards him.  Dean looked like hell, his leg was clearly broken and blood was spreading along his scrubs.  “Get him secured in his cell, on the bed then get the best god dammed surgeon in Kansas here!”  He was going to follow and make sure his orders were carried out however something made him inspect the chaos that happening outside.  That was where he saw the younger Winchester behind the wheel of one of the state of the art bulletproof, bombproof, super powerful Jeeps, even so, Alistair couldn’t help the smug grin of victory from spreading across his face, he had sorted the ordinary from the extraordinary and he was going to enjoy finding new ways of torturing Dean, using Sam was too easy anyway.

 

Once the Jeep was out of eye shot he turned to go back indoors, he was about halfway back to the main cell area when the Omega, Jimmy, turned down the corridor before stopping in his tracks, looking panicked.  “Stay right there, boy!”  Alistair ordered.  The Omega looked terrified, the scent was rolling off him, it made the Alpha sniff the air experimentally, he could swear he had smelled that scent, without the distress somewhere before.

 

 

Castiel was in denial that he was slightly lost, he was so caught up on getting an escape plan organised he hadn’t factored in his own swift exit.  He couldn’t leave with the boys, if he was seen on the cameras helping, it wouldn’t take a lot of investigation to find out his true identity, he couldn’t risk the Alpha Sec knowing his real name, his families’ names, addresses.  The Alpha Sec had a habit of shoot first and not bother to ask questions policy when it came to tying up loose ends.  Castiel would have risked everything he had for Dean without a heartbeat but he would risk his brothers’ lives.  The main door was on lock down but there was a secure fire door in the north east corner, his ID badge would give him access to the door, except he had taken one too many right hand turns and he was convinced he was in the east portion of the compound, the last place he wanted to be.  He cursed himself for being such a stupid Omega, he was tired, he wanted his Alpha to hold him and guide him to safety.  He desperately strode forwards, hoping for a miracle, an open door, he took a turning and saw an open door at the end of the corridor.  Before he got too excited, he was frozen in place with the stare of the old Alpha, the colonel.  Castiel couldn’t move, he was petrified.  He could only watch as the Alpha sniffed the air around him.

 

The cogs in Alistair’s brain suddenly clicked into place, he realised where he had smelled the Omega’s scent before.  It had been mixed in with Dean’s scent.  The sickly sweet cherry had marred Dean’s perfect leather and whiskey scent.  Alistair’s eyes narrowed, this was definitely the Omega Sam had called Jimmy, but Dean had sounded desperate when he talked about someone else.  It was a bit of a leap, “Castiel?”  He got the reaction required to verify that the Omega was indeed the ‘Castiel’ that Dean was interested in, his eyes widening and looking at him in a questioning gaze as if wondering how he knew this information. Castiel and Dean’s scents had been mixed, so they must be ‘True Mates’ but hadn’t claimed each other.  If Castiel was Dean’s True Mate, the Omega also held the tools to break Dean, completely.  He stepped right into Castiel’s personal space, causing a whimper to escape from the Omega’s lips.  He thought about the thousand ways he could torment Dean using his Omega, instead he simply ran his hands through Castiel’s messy locks of hair, dragging his nails along the scalp, he could feel the other man shudder with his touch, Alistair pulled hard, yanking a small handful of hair from the roots.  “So you just thought you fancied a hot piece of Alpha ass all to yourself did you?  Hmm? Take my Dean away from me?”

 

Castiel wished he could break out of his trance, his fear had sent him into some survival mode, akin to possums, Omega’s tended to stay still, shaking, in the hope an Alpha comes to the rescue.  That only works, Castiel figured if it wasn’t an Alpha scaring you.  The old Alpha smelled like fermentation, kind of like beer before it’s been brewed properly.  It was a sour smell that had Castiel wanting to lean away from the man.  It was only when Alistair was running his hand’s through his hair he snapped back into action, he used what little energy he had to push the Alpha away.  “He’s not yours!”  His voice coming out in a scared squeak rather than the threatening growl he was aiming for.

 

“Well ‘ _Castiel’_ you are just the little Omega that could aren’t you?  Defying the odds and battling against your nature to save your precious Alpha from the evil government.  Sounds like the worst love story ever!”  Castiel stood wordlessly, in a crouched position ready to defend himself.  Eyeing Alistair’s hand which had run through his hair but was now curled into a fist.  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested and thrown into prison from treason?”

 

“You won’t, you can’t.  I can imagine your superiors will be impressed with the numerous security breaches that I managed to get away with.  I think your management of the project will be called into question.”  Castiel watched the Alpha clench his jaw, the perma-sneer replaced with a look of such anger it had Castiel recoiling.  With Alistair distracted, fuming as he stood, Castiel darted for the open door.  He sprinted past the men outside, he heard a couple start to give chase before he heard a command being barked at the guards.

 

“LEAVE HIM!  He’s fired.  He isn’t of any use to us.  He won’t talk either...  NOT IF DEAN MEANS ANYTHING TO HIM, ALIVE.”  Alistair let the Omega run, another small thing he could torture Dean with, his Omega running from him.  He made sure he shouted loud enough that Castiel could hear his threat against Dean.  He watched the Omega run to an ugly, beige, old style car and sped away from the compound.  Alistair looked down at his hand, dark strands of hair were still clasped in his fist, DNA, the key to getting the pheromones that he could use for his own little games.  He turned to rush back inside to check on his precious Dean.

 

 

Cas drove around the back roads, parallel roads, circled back the wrong way a few times, ensuring no one was following his car.   It took everything he had not to drive hell for leather in a straight line south.  He just wanted to see his Alpha, be comforted in his arms, to smell his leather and whiskey scent, unmarred by the restrictions and confinements of the facility.  Castiel couldn’t help but grin all the way to Pittsburgh.  He looked up the yellow pages he acquired in preparation and flicked through to the third Motel, ‘The Silver Moon Motel,’ he parked up and ran inside, quoting the alias he gave the brothers.  In an excited, terrified, adrenaline filled haze he hurried to the room the clerk had indicated, he gave a quick knock at the door, expecting to be bulldozed by his Alpha in hug he would never want to end.  Instead, Sam answered the door, it opened slowly, Sam’s eyes were puffy, as if he had been crying.  It sent a sharp shot of unease through Castiel’s spine, “Hey Sam.  Where’s Dean?”

 

“Oh god Castiel, I’m so sorry!”  Sam took two steps back away from the door before collapsing to his knees.

 

Castiel looked down at the Alpha, on his knees and weeping, his heart turned to ice and fire simultaneously, his brain refused to accept what Sam was meaning.  There must be some mistake, Dean must be showering, or getting supplies, that’s all.  “Sorry for what?  Where’s Dean?”  Sam couldn’t provide anymore answers, he was kneading his hands against his eyes as if trying to push images out of his brain.  It was making Castiel’s patience wear thin.  “SAM!!  WHERE IS DEAN!”

 

“He...  he...  fell, he was climbing down from the roof, he landed awkwardly, his leg was broken, kinda bad...”

 

“No!!  Please tell me you got him, he’s in hospital right?!”

 

“I tried!!  Castiel, I tried!  I was only gone for a couple minutes, I couldn’t run with him in my arms, he couldn’t walk, I ran to get a car!  I ran to get a car, by the time I got back....  OH GOD!!!”  Vicious sobs ripped through the Alpha, leaving him speechless.  Castiel was shaking, not his Alpha...  He needed to know, he spoke clear, low and carefully,

 

“Where.  Is.  Dean?”  


Sam spoke with a calm tone that thinly veiled how broken he was feeling.  “He’s still at the facility.  I got back with the car, by that time some guard already had him, I was gonna go after him but, they were coming after me, Dean was screaming at me to run, to find you.  Then they were shooting at me, I couldn’t help him.  Castiel.  I’m so sorry, I tried but I couldn’t save him, I couldn’t save my brother!”  Sam descended into sobs again.  There were no words to describe Sam’s pain.  He had failed his brother and now he feared a fate worse than death for Dean.  He couldn’t even begin to guess what tortures Alistair had lined up for Dean, how many Omegas were waiting to be impregnated.

 

Castiel’s voice came out merely as a whisper, still clinging onto the last thread of hope, somehow Dean was here, about to burst in and wrap him up in a hug with those strong, muscular Alpha arms.  “No!”

 

“I’m so sorry.”  Tears were streaming down Sam’s face freely, he could barely meet Castiel’s begging look.  Sam’s thoughts wandered, lost in emotion.  Dean was languishing in that facility, he couldn’t save his brother.  Sam owed Dean his life, Dean had basically brought him up, after their mother died Dean had been filling the role of older brother as well as mother and, most of the time father.  Dean was the one who pushed him to do well in school, who had supported him with every decision he had ever made.  Instead of gratitude Dean was _always_ screwed over, he didn’t do well in school because he was too busy taking care of him and Dad, despite Dean being a genius and having such a brilliant mechanical mind.  He found something with Lisa and he was sent to a war he didn’t believe in.  He met his True Mate, in a damn research facility forcing him to impregnate Omegas.  It seemed whenever Dean managed to get a speck of happiness and meaning in his life it was ripped away from him.  Sam mourned for his brother and the loss of what life Dean could have had if life wasn’t so unfair.  He and Castiel could be together, happy, maybe having kids. 

 

Sam’s thoughts turned more dangerous.  He could go back, he could try and bargain, swap his place for Dean’s.  Sam had resigned himself to a life in captivity before, he was pretty sure he could do it again without breaking too much.  He was never going to love again, not without Jess, and out here, with Dean on the inside there was really nothing left for him to live for.  With that thought ringing in his ears he raised himself up to his full height and made for the Motel room door.  Only to have the small Omega block his path.

 

“Sam!  Where are going?!”

 

“I need to get Dean!  I need to get him out!”

 

“You can’t! You’re probably being broadcast across every TV in America, the Alpha Sec are going to be searching for you.”

 

“I don’t care.  I’m going back to the facility!  I’ll swap my place with Dean!  He doesn’t deserve to be in there!”

 

Castiel tried to make himself look as big as he could, try to impose on the six foot four inch Alpha, even though he was tall for an Omega, Castiel’s five foot eleven inches was not enough to make an impact.  He changed tactic and tried to talk sense to the Alpha.  “If you go back there, they will recapture you and make you mate again.  We _will_ get Dean out.  We’ll go to the press, we’ll tell your story, we’ll expose the Alpha Sec and the Government and we will get Dean out of that forsaken place.  Please!  Don’t do anything stupid.  I don’t know Dean all that well _yet_ , but I’m guessing he doesn’t want you sacrificing yourself for him.”  Castiel didn’t want to sound like he knew Dean better than Sam, however he knew his assessment of Dean was one hundred percent accurate.

 

“I need to help my brother!”  Sam’s voice was low, it sent a mild warning to Castiel that the Alpha was getting angry now.

 

“We will!  But we can’t go in half cocked.  Please Sam.  What would Dean want you to do?”  An loud bang against the dry wall made Castiel jump in fear, he shot a glance to where Sam was standing, his fist still connected to the wall. 

 

“Fine.  I’ll give you one week, then I do it my way!”

 

“Ok fine.”  Castiel wasn’t sure if one week was enough time to co-ordinate a nationwide expose on the government and the treatment of Alphas however, at least Sam was now sitting on the edge of the bed rather than driving back to the facility.

 

“So what’s the plan?  To get Dean out?”  Sam needed something else to think about, despite sitting down he was still playing with the idea of breaking out of the motel and trying to save his brother. 

 

“I’m going to phone the paper I used to work at, try and get someone here to talk to you.  I’ll try getting in contact with some human rights groups, I used to be in a few so they at least should listen.”

 

“Stanford University human rights group.  I spoke to them just before...”  Sam coughed to clear his throat, “before I got abducted.  They have contacts throughout America.”

 

“Good.  Now, you should rest, and get some proper food in you.”

 

“No.  I can’t stop until I save Dean.”  Sam was glad to have a direction to move in, he could get in contact with some rights groups he could research what was being broadcast, he could start working on his statement. 

 

Castiel was encouraged but still concerned for the Alpha, “You can’t save Dean if you’re run into the dirt.  Dean needs you fresh and sharp.”  He gestured to the bed that Sam was still sitting on.  Sam lay back for a moment and was asleep within seconds.


	32. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) kudos :)

The glare of the light above Dean made it difficult to see.  His head was spinning, his vision blurred, he felt like he was underwater, everything sounded so far away.  The only thing that seemed real was a throbbing somewhere down his leg, even then it felt like his leg was a mile away from him, it was a distant ache.  It was difficult to form a coherent thought, Dean let the blackness wash over him again, sending him back to a deep, black sleep.

 

When Dean woke the second time he was acutely aware of every beam of light, every dust mote in the air, each with their own scent, his ears were sharp and picking up every muttered word of people nearby.  His whole body was hot and aching, the pain in his leg burning incessantly.  Dean’s brain took a couple of seconds to catch up, he attempted to sit up only to find himself half fast by straps around his wrists and his good leg.  He looked down the length of himself in appraisal, a full leg cast encased his sore leg, from just under his toes to mid thigh.  There was also another strap across his waist holding him flat to his bed. 

 

His bed...  Dean whipped his head around, the Perspex wall, the metal toilet, the too bright lights, the scrubs.  He was back in the facility.  “No!  No.  No.  No.  No.  Please god no!”  Dean struggled against the straps, flailing with everything he had, only to be stopped in his tracks when the pain from his broken leg threatened to make him black out.

 

He couldn’t be back, Dean’s mind was reeling.   If he was back, does that mean Sam was captured too?  What happened to Cas?  What happened, what went wrong?  Dean thumped his head against the bed in an effort to remember, after he fell, everything was so muddled, it hurt too much, his brain must have tried to block it out.  Dean willed himself to relax enough to think.  He needed to remember.  He looked over to the other cell and was relieved to find it empty.  Sam must have got away, that was one thing that worked out.  Sam was free, Sam would get help.  It would only be a matter of hours before a shit storm would descend on the facility and he would be free.  He just had to hold on a little longer. 

 

Dean’s heart plummeted to the ground when he thought of Castiel, his Cas, still out there in the world without him.  Again, he had failed, it seemed failing was the only thing he was good at.  His Omega was out there, Cas was depending on him to escape and here he was back at square zero.  Dean had to believe that Castiel managed to get out before everything kicked off, he couldn’t live with the idea of anything happening to his Omega.  He already missed the sweet cherry scent, the optimism, those blue eyes that could see so far into his soul.  He would give anything to hold Cas again.  Dean held onto the flame of hope, willing for help to come soon.

 

The click of the door opening made Dean attempt to sit up again, again he was held fast by the restraints.  When he saw his visitor he let a visceral snarl rip from his throat.  Alistair approached him with an air of triumph.  He renewed his efforts against his bonds when the colonel ran a finger over the cast and up towards his groin, his groin area was more sensitive than it was normally, it made Dean still for a moment, there was only one reason he would be more sensitive down there.  It was a sign he was entering his rut.  The thought made Dean quiver with terror, no doubt they would use his rut to impregnate as many Omegas as possible.  Maybe he could wait it out, control his outbursts, do his best to control his knot, maybe just maybe they wouldn’t realise.  Dean cursed himself, in the lore books his Dad made him read, an Alpha’s rut and an Omega’s heat can be triggered when they found their True Mates.  Part of the whole breed like bunnies approach that seemed to go with the Lychans.

 

“So Dean, you tried to escape, I have to say, that makes me very sad.  After all the fun we’ve had.  You only made life more difficult for yourself, you fractured your femur, we had to get a surgeon in while you were out to fix it.  There’s a few pins and plates holding your leg together, no big deal.  Decided we’d better keep you on bed rest, make sure you don’t hurt yourself again,  again it’s for your own protection.”  Alistair’s voice was veiled as sickly sweet sincerity.  It made Dean’s skin crawl in disgust.

 

“Go fuck yourself.”

 

“Ever such the wit, Dean,” the colonel’s hand was making its way up to Dean’s face caressing every curve as it moved along his body.  “I hope you don’t kiss your Omega with that mouth.”  Alistair savoured the moment of absolute fear that flashed across Dean’s face before he could school his expression.  “Yes.  That carer, Jimmy was it?  He was just adorable wasn’t he, and that scent, just good enough to eat.”

 

Dean tried to hold his tongue, he wouldn’t let Alistair pull his strings but he couldn’t let him talk about his Omega like that, he had to defend his True Mate.  He also just wanted to make sure Cas managed to get away.  “You don’t talk about him like that!  He’s mine.  He’s getting help.  You’re all going down!”

 

“The little Omega isn’t getting you any help.  He’s gone.”  Alistair smiled, he made his statement ambiguous so Dean could make himself crazy wondering if his True Mate was alive or dead. 

 

“No.  You’re lying.”

 

“You’re all mine now, and you lost me one Alpha, he’s gone too, no one is coming for you, help isn’t coming.  And now you have two Omega quotas to fill.”  Alistair sniffed the air experimentally, looked at the snarling Alpha strapped to the table, “perfect timing too, smells like your ruts about to hit.”  Alistair gave one last smirk and walked out of his cell.

 

“No!   Alistair get back here you bastard!  Where’s my brother!!  Where’s My Omega!!  ALISTAAAIIRR!!!”  Dean couldn’t wrap his head around what the colonel’s acidic words meant.  What did he mean gone?  Dean thought.  Were they dead?  Were they alive and decided Dean wasn’t worth saving after all and left him here to rot.  Did Castiel finally come to the same conclusion as Dean and decide he was better off with a Beta who could actually look after him, rather than the poor excuse of an Alpha that he called himself.  Dean could only hope that if Cas have left him, at least his Omega would be able to move forward, have a good life and Dean would eventually become just a fading memory. 

 

Dean was also acutely aware that he hadn’t managed to conceal his rut, god knows how many Omegas he was going to be raped by.  That thought started the stream of tears falling down his temples.  He could stay angry, furious at Alistair but the idea of being raped over and over again was really too much to bear.  He would be violated and used, basically a whore of the state.  That was the part that scared him, that would scar him forever, as well as the uncertainty of Cas and Sam’s wellbeing.  Those few things were all being used to push Dean towards the point of insanity. 

 

Air swirled in his lungs as Dean took a few deep breaths to centre and control himself.  He just had to believe that Sam and Cas _were_ out there, fighting to get him out of the hated facility.  He _had_ to stay strong and not let himself crumble as he was violated.  He wouldn’t break.

 

Dean had no idea how much time had passed, whether it was still night or day, whether he had slept of weather his brain had gone numb from pain and fatigue.  Carers came into his cell and set about undoing his restraints, a trolley bed awaiting beside him.  As soon as his hands were free he grabbed the carers and head butted them with everything he had.  They were out cold and Dean sat up fully, unlocking his restrained leg.  They had left the casted leg unrestrained, it was a useless heavy weight.  Before anyone could notice the fallen carers, he made an attempt to stand up.  When he put his casted foot down the pain shot up from his knee through his spine up his head, making him feel dizzy, he felt his weight fall heavily to the floor, his leg unable to hold him up.  He heard security storm the room and man handle him onto the trolley, securing his limbs, even his broken leg.  “GET OFF ME YOU FUCKERS!  You can’t do this!  No!”  His head was swirling with the pain, nausea making his body give up his fight.  Dean lay there, the cold metal making him shiver, or maybe he was going into shock from the pain. 

 

He was wheeled through to the breeding area, his meager scrubs cut off of him to save having his limbs free again.  Dean lay there snarling at the new carers, lashing out with his teeth at any flesh that passed within biting distance.  He didn’t stop when the gag was forced into his mouth and locked behind his head.  He was in full blown Alpha mode, trying to escape from danger.  Dean was wild with rage, even the pain in his leg had been dulled by the adrenaline coursing through his veins.  The rut only adding to the intensity of his anger.  He shouldn’t be here; he should be with his Omega.   Dean’s thoughts were pure animalistic instinct. 

 

The air around Dean shifted slightly, he could smell something that added a layer to his instinctual behaviour.  He could smell the mouth watering sweet fresh scent that he instantly knew as Cas.  He raised his head, trying to find his Omega, confusion emphasizing his rage when he couldn’t find his Omega.  He could feel his cock growing in response to his True Mate’s scent.  When the door to the breeding area was opened Dean doubled his struggles again, the Omega approaching him wasn’t Cas.  It wasn’t his Omega.  It was a male Omega but he was no taller than five foot seven.  He had blonde hair and cold looking, grey eyes.  It was all completely wrong but his body was still responding to the scent of Castiel.  The Omega climbed on top of Dean and lowered himself until he was filled by the Alpha.  Dean couldn’t help but groan as his willing cock was pushed into the Omega’s hole.  He tried to keep as still as he could, the Omega’s earthy scent made Dean’s brain a bit clearer, his brain finally registering something wasn’t right.  However, the Omega was determined to ride him.  Just as Dean thought he had managed to control his knot, another wave of Cas’ scent flooded his senses.  That, coupled with the Omega’s movements on top of him,  Dean’s knot forced its way out and locked them together for what seemed like forever.  He had to hold in the sobs, hold in the shame and the disgust at himself.  He would not put on another show for Alistair.   He schooled his expression and let the Omega finish his session.  The Omega made no motion of Dean’s obvious distress, either he didn’t notice, or he didn’t care.

 

Dean’s resolve nearly broke when, after the Omega had left, the delicious Castiel cherry scent had become more intense, his cock sat ready for action in no time.  The carers came in and cleaned the Male Omega’s slick off him.  After a few minutes yet another Omega entered, this time it was a woman, short, jet black hair and a nose piercing, her scent was sharp and sour, like nail varnish remover.  Cas’ scent was nearly covered by it, but not enough to stop his cock from responding.  His rut was his bodies response to finding Cas, wanting to Mate and produce pups as quickly as possible.  It made Alphas almost insatiable the first few days. She also climbed on top and took advantage of him, what was worse she caressed him, touched him in such a gentle way that it was almost as if she cared.  She too was locked onto Dean’s knot and rode it out until it receded.  As another sharp wave of disgust and shame flooded him, Dean wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take today.

 

 

 

 


	33. chapter30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos

A fire was coursing through Castiel’s body.  It was unbearable, he was soaked with sweat, his body wrecked with a fever that wouldn’t relent.  Between his legs he could feel the slick gathering, ruining the motel sheets.  Castiel lay shivering as the sweat exposed to the air cooled his skin.  He knew roughly what was happening and it brought him such anguish, Castiel was determined to suffer through his heat with as little fuss as possible.   If he had been a better Omega he would have managed to free his Alpha and they would be sharing this moment together.  The first heat and rut as Mates.  Sam was looking at him helplessly, from the other side of the room, he looked panicked.  His face contorted into a grimace as another jolt of heat stabbed at his already worn out body.

 

“Castiel, maybe I should get you a fake knot or something?”

 

“No.  You have to keep working on saving Dean.”  Castiel’s words came out forced, behind clenched teeth, trying to hold himself together.  He had no energy to lift himself from the bed, having been awake most of the night as the heat gradually claimed him.

 

Sam’s face softened fractionally. “Dean wanted me to look after you until he was free, I think he would kick my ass if he knew you were in pain and I didn’t do anything to help.”  Saving Dean was still at the top of Sam’s priorities but without Castiel’s contacts in the media, in the Omega rights groups, it would take so much longer to get anything done.  The grief stricken panic of last night had cleared, he felt like he had slept for a week.  “I’m gonna go get a knot, you’ll feel better and then we can save Dean.”  Sam used a gentle but firm tone, laced with an Alpha command.

 

Castiel closed his eyes and nodded, defeated.  Sam had a good point.  “Ok.  Thank you Sam.”

 

Sam donned a beanie hat and sunglasses, hoping it would disguise him enough, He wasn’t sure how much the public would be aware of his escape, or what he looked like.  He caught a glimpse of himself in the motel mirror.  He looked ridiculous, like an overgrown TV show actor or something, the exact opposite of Sam’s nature.  He used the strongest scent blocking shampoo that Castiel had brought to try and mask his Alpha scent.   He found the nearest Omega supplies store and faced the wall of fake knots, Sam was somewhat inexperienced in purchasing such things, he settled for the most, _realistic_ looking one and hurried to pay for it and return to the suffering Omega.

 

 When Sam returned to the motel room, Castiel looked even worse, he must have been asleep but was whimpering Dean’s name, reaching into the air searching for his True Mate.  It made Sam’s heart sink lower.  He went to the Omega and crouched at his level, shaking him gently.   “Castiel?”

 

"Dean?!”  Castiel sat bolt upright but looked like he was going to vomit with the sudden movement.

 

“Sorry, it’s just me.  Here’s a fake knot.  I’m going to do some research at the library across the street.  See if I can find out how high this whole government thing goes.  I’ll come back in a couple hours.”  Sam stood up again and walked to the door, again a tired nod was all he got as a confirmation that the Omega understood.

 

Castiel watched sleepily as the Alpha left the motel for the second time, he must have gone into a fitful sleep at some point, he was trapped in a nightmare, except it wasn’t a nightmare, it was a memory.  Dean strapped to a table, gagged and forced to knot another Omega.  It tore a gaping hole in his heart that felt like it would never mend, that mixed in with his heat rendered him a shivering whimpering mess.  So much for being strong for his Alpha.  Castiel blocked the venomous thoughts from his head before they could do real damage, he pulled the knot from the bag Sam had given him, Cas also picked out his work scrubs from the facility out of his duffel.  It had a faint lingering scent of Dean from where they kissed before the escape.  Castiel scrunched up the scrubs shirt and lay his face right next to it, breathing in the whiskey-leather scent.  Already the heat and the ache subsided a bit.  Encouraged Castiel worked himself open enough to accommodate the knot with his fingers.  In minutes he was using the knot and the scrubs to pretend Dean was here knotting him for real.

 

Once he was finished Castiel felt a lot more human, the burning ache for his Alpha was now manageable, the fever had settled to an uncomfortable prickle under his skin.  He would have to use the damn knot a couple more time that day but he would manage to help get Dean out of the Facility.  He showered, got dressed into his usual outfit he donned when he meant business.  He pulled his phone out and flicked through his contacts on his phone until he found the one he was looking for.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Charlie?  Hi it’s Castiel.”

 

“Castiel!  Oh my god where have you been?! We haven’t heard from you in like forever!  We were really worried about you.”  Castiel smiled, Charlie was a Beta but had more passion for equal rights and fair treatment than some of the Omegas in their group.  She was loyal and fierce, ready to take on any organisation.

 

“Charlie, I’m fine but I need your help.”

 

“What have you gotten yourself into this time?”

 

“You know the whole Alphas being protected by the government and the supposed _voluntary_ breeding project?”

 

“You mean the thing that stinks of foul play but no one in the media will agree to dig deeper than the propaganda put on their desks?  Yeah, I’m aware of it.”

 

“I was there, I went undercover at one of the facilities.  I’m with one of the Alphas.”

 

“WHAT!?!!!...”  Castiel had to hold the phone away from his ear for a minute whilst Charlie shouted over the phone about the danger he put himself in ad how the equal rights group they were both part of would have helped in a heartbeat.

 

“Ok!  Charlie!  Look I need the groups help now!  We need to get on TV, in newspapers, everywhere!  We need America to hear the truth, maybe then there will be enough pressure to investigate the Alpha Sec.” 

 

“This sounds like a job for Ash.  Can you get here?”

 

“No.  We can’t leave.  There’s another Alpha at the facility, we can’t move in case he escapes, he knows how to find us here.”  The chance of that was ever so slim but Castiel had to believe there was a chance Dean could escape. 

 

“Ok, no probs, we will bring the party to you, where are you?”

 

“I’m in Pittsburgh, the Silver Moon Motel.  I need you here as soon as possible.  Please Charlie.”

 

“I’ll get the crew rounded up, should be there in a few hours.”

 

“You are amazing Charlie, thank you.” 

 

Castiel hung up the phone and dialled the number for his old newspaper that he used to work for.  He pleaded for the editor to hear him out, that he had indisputable evidence of the misconduct happening at the facilities. Although Castiel refused to say that the evidence was in fact one of the Alphas, he didn’t trust his previous employers as much as he trusted Charlie.  Once again, they slammed the phone down on him, telling Castiel never to phone again.  He guessed Charlie was right, the Alpha Sec must have their hooks into the media, blocking any investigation of the facilities.  The propaganda was elegant and convincing, unless you knew the truth. 

 

Sam walked through the door about an hour later with a brown bag of food.  He looked very different, a beanie hat and sunglasses made him look effortlessly cool and ageless.  Only when Sam took the glasses off did the hurt and panic make itself known in his eyes.  The Alpha put the bag down on the small dining table and pulled out a couple of burgers.  “You look better!  I brought food, you think you can eat something?”

 

“Thanks Sam,  how was research?”

 

“ Unreal, have you seen what they’ve said I’ve done?  They suggested I killed my own Mate!  Then they make up a whole new lie that the Alphas _agreed_ to this!  The lies all over the news, the propaganda is so far reaching.  No wonder the Omegas...”  Sam shook his head, he couldn’t bear to remember what happened to him at the facility, it hurt too much.

 

“Well I managed to get a hold of one of my good friends at the human rights groups.  She’s bringing a group down to speak to you, to get the story.  We _will_ get this story to the public, put the pressure on the government to investigate the Alpha Sec.”

 

“Yeah that was the other thing!  The president of the America is an Alpha, how can he be ok with Alphas being treated like this?”

 

“Well, I did a bit of digging, or hacking rather, The high up government are too _important_ to worry about these kind of things like huge war that raged on for twenty or the potential extinction of Alpha kind.  So the government set up the Alpha Sec about half way through the war to manage all Alpha specific Affairs, leaving the government to worry about the important stuff, like raising taxes, reducing welfare and healthcare to fund oil projects, that kind of thing.  The government probably has just been given the same propaganda everyone else has.”

 

“Holy crap.  This is huge.  You know that right?!”

 

“I know, but the only way we are going to get Dean out of there now is to blow this right out the water.  That’s why Charlie’s coming down.  She’s great at exposés.”  Sam’s lips hardened into a line, a grin nod in confirmation of the plan.  If he had to bare his heart and soul for his brother, he would.

 

A couple of hours later, and another use of the fake knot, Castiel was waiting impatiently for the sound of cars pulling into the motel.  Finally, he heard the battered whine of the bright yellow car pulling up, bright orange hair framed a smiling face behind the windscreen.  A van also pulled up behind them, a man with a mullet jumped out and enveloped Castiel in a hug.   Castiel guided them into the Motel room.

 

“Sam Winchester, this is Charlie Bradbury, hacker extraordinaire and resident nerd.  And this is Ash...  Ash what’s your last name?”

 

“No last name, just call me Dr. Badass.”  Ash shook Sam’s hand vigorously, Sam cocked an eyebrow at the unlikely Omega.

 

“Ash it is then.  Nice to meet you.  You too Charlie.”

 

“Ok, let’s not hang about let’s get started.”  Cas gestured to the small table in the room, al four sat down, three of them looked at Sam expectantly.

 

“Right.  The story, ok.  Where to start...”  Sam told the story to the best of his ability, starting from the war they were forced into, the murder of his Mate, the extraction of Jess’ pheromones, through to the forced knotting and the escape.  Sam had to stop a couple of times, tears streaming down his face as he relived the horrors of the last few months.  His life had been completely destroyed and here he was cataloguing every heartbreak so he might get his brother back.  When he finished he looked around the table and was met with expressions of grim determination.

 

“I’m thinking of a national broadcast, hack into a station’s signal and live stream the full story from Sam.” Ash suggested.

 

“Not the full story, that would take too much time, just enough that the publc have to sit up and take notice, to put pressure on the government.”  Charlie commented. “We’ll need someone to corroborate the story, not that we don’t believe you but there are people out there who will need more.”

 

“I’ll phone Chuck, he worked at the facility as a professor.  I can corroborate the story too.”  Castiel looked relieved that they were actively moving forwards now.

 

“We’ll need to put a blocking signal out when we broadcast, so they can’t stop it.  And a proxy server to hide our location...”  Ash was spouting a lot of technology speak neither Castiel or Sam could understand, but it sounded promising.

 

Castiel couldn’t help but get a little hopeful that they would get Dean back sooner rather than later.  He just prayed that his Alpha could survive just a little bit longer.


	34. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and (if you like what you read) kudos :)
> 
> Much triggers... many sadness... proceed with caution

 

Five Omegas.  Five Omegas used Dean the day after the failed escape attempt, every time an Omega left Cas’ pheromones were pumped into the cell pushing him towards another forced knot.  By the fifth Omega Dean was screaming, his cock was so sensitive and hadn’t been given enough time to rest, his leg was constant agony, jostled by the Omegas that raped him and his constant struggle against his bonds.  The carers cleaned him up after the last Omega left, sponging him down where he lay.  One of them had a black eye, must have been one of the ones he hit previously.  They were less than gentle and left the gag in place so he couldn’t complain, aside from the snarling that sounded disappointingly half hearted.  They spoke about him like he wasn’t even there.

 

“Will we put scrubs back on him?”  One of them asked, it was a Beta, the Beta carers were always less caring, they felt no obligation to treat him well.

 

“I ain’t chancing taking off those straps, you are welcome to try though.”

 

“Nah!  They just get cut off anyway.  Let’s just wheel him through, he can stay strapped on the trolley, saves us having to try get him strapped down on the bed.  Also saves us having to clean up his sheets every time he pisses himself.”

 

“Efficient, I like it.  C’mon then, quicker he’s in his cell the quicker I get home.”

 

The other Beta carer sniggered and started pushing the trolley through towards the door.  The facility wasn’t the warmest of places, it was a bit colder than what was comfortable and Dean tried to plead with them to put some clothes on him.  He didn’t want to be strapped down, naked for all to see.  It became apparent his pleading eyes were useless against the Betas, humiliation reddened his cheeks and sent tears streaming down his face.  Everything was chipping away at him, the uncertainty of his True Mate’s wellbeing, the constant pain he was in, the grief and disappointment that he wasn’t able to escape, the mindless rape.  The flicker of hope he was holding on to wavered slightly suffocating with all the adversity.

 

After some determined thinking and concentration, Dean fell asleep thinking of Cas, his touch, his eyes, his lips, the feel of those lips against his.  For a little while, Dean felt like he could maintain his sanity, the thought of his Omega was like an oasis in the hottest of deserts, so long as he could keep getting back here, he could survive whatever Alistair or the carers had to offer.  Here, there was no doubt that Cas was alive and well endlessly working to free him, by whatever means necessary.

Dean’s respite didn’t last long enough.  When he woke up, he groaned in pain, his shoulders were sore and stiff from being in the same position for so long, his fingers were freezing and hand pins and needles prickling through them.  Dean tried to soothe his dry lips but found the gag still firmly on place.  His leg was burning dully in the background, aggravated by a shiver that ran through his whole body.  The need from his rut was less intense than yesterday but bubbled under his skin, embers that would easily be rekindled.  Dean scanned the room for the source of what awakened him.  It was a bulk of a man, had to be Alpha, his face was silhouetted because of the blinding lights on the roof, even so he would recognise that outline anywhere.  He felt the gag being unbuckled from behind his head.  “Dad?”

 

“Dean.”  John backed up away from his son, he surveyed his first born’s condition and cursed himself, he was so caught up in his own life and his own problems he let his son be used in this way.  It made him feel sick to his stomach.  He knew he wasn’t the perfect father but how had he managed to fail his son so hugely. 

 

“Please.  Help me!  Get me out of here.”  Dean was straight to begging, he didn’t care what his father had done to him in the past, if Dad managed to get him to Cas he would be forgiven, for everything.

 

“Son, I am going to do everything I can to get you out of here.  They can’t do this to Alphas, especially my sons.”  John cared for his family, ok sometimes he was strict in his approach but he couldn’t bear to lose another member of his family, not after he lost Mary.  He needed to get Dean out of here before anyone realised what he was up to.  The security guards recognised him from his visit when Dean first arrived, they would know he wasn’t a carer and shouldn’t be undoing straps soon enough.

 

Dean whispered to his father, hoping against hope that the microphones weren’t strong enough to pick up his voice.  “Dad, if you can’t get me out of here, Sam is in Pittsburgh third hotel in the phone book, Mike Havers.”

 

“No.  Dean _we_ are leaving now.”  Dean watched dazed as his father started undoing the straps around his wrists, he could have wept with joy.  His arms were free, he was about to sit up when the cell door opened and Dean heard a gun being cocked.

 

“Sergeant Winchester I assume, you mind telling me what exactly you are doing?”  The nasal voice of Alistair made Dean want to throw up right there on the spot.  He shivered where he lay, curling down into a ball.

 

“Taking my son out of here, this is sick, you can’t treat Alphas like this.”  John was on cusp of shouting but still held enough decorum in front of the colonel.

  
 “No, John you aren’t, get out of the cell or the boy dies.” 

 

“Don’t you dare point that at him!  If you want to hurt someone hurt me.”  Dean looked at his dad terrified, he didn’t want anyone to be hurt because of him, that had happened enough in his life.

 

“Get.  Out.  The.  Cell.” Alistair’s words were cold and bitter, John knew the colonel was a psycho and deadly serious.  He would have died for his son, there and then.  It was all his fault that his son was where he was.  Everything John did in the last four months was all just building blocks to this horror show.  But getting killed wasn’t going to help Dean.  He resigned himself to having to leave Dean to find Sam.  It broke his heart to see his eldest son trussed up.

 

“Fine.”  John started to walk towards the door.

 

“ah. Ah.ah. wait.  Strap your precious son down again, can’t have another little escape attempt can we?!”

 

“Alistair, you son of a bitch.”  John wasn’t sure if he could do what he was told, not this time.

 

“Dad, it’s ok.”  John looked down and saw Dean with puffy, tear soaked face.  “You need to go.  Do what he said.”

 

“Dean I can’t...”

 

“Just do it!”  reluctantly John redid the straps around Dean’s wrists, he looked towards Alistair to see if he was satisfied.

  
“The gag.”  John could only sign in defeat he couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes as he pushed it into his son’s open mouth.

 

"Now come with me.”  Alistair spoke with such venom it made John uneasy.  He left the cell area.  After all these years, it was like a switch had been flicked in his brain.  He had fucked up so much.  His late wife would be horrified at the man he had become.  Alistair only stopped once they were outside the facilities walls.  “It will come as no surprise that you are fired.  I’m putting a dishonourable discharge.  For spouting malicious lies about the Alpha Sec and their methods.  I would just kill you here and now but an Alpha dying on a research facility.  A sergeant at that.  It would look too suspicious.  You leave here and never return.  If I hear that you’ve been talking, I _will_ send someone to shut you up.”  There was a gunshot that made John jump, he looked down and saw Alistair’s gun smoking at his side.  There was a bullet hole in the ground, John turned and walked away from the facility, it was clearly just a scare tactic.

 

 Alistair marched back through to the cell area, he was going to have to break Dean and soon, John was definitely going to tell someone what he saw and surely in a few days someone will be coming to inspect the facility.  None of the Alpha Sec even knew that Sam was missing.  Everything was unravelling for Alistair quicker than he would like.  He would have to make a getaway in a couple days he suspected but until then, he could have complete control over Dean.  He would break that Alpha.  He entered the cell and fixed his sneer on his face.

 

Dean forced himself to look up at Alistair, looking for any sign that the loud noise he heard wasn’t a gunshot.  He saw the pistol still sitting in Alistair’s hand, he feared for his father.  “I hope you’re happy Dean, another life lost because of you.  First your non-Mate, then Sam, your Bitch _Castiel_ and now your own father, that’s quite a list.”  Dean tried to pull away as much as the straps would allow as the older man ran the still warm gun across his exposed stomach, the gun still easily triggered.  A grunt in protest was all he could manage to get past the gag.  “Oh yes, they are all dead.  I’ve told you already, no one is coming for you.  You are mine.”  Alistair leant down to whisper into Dean’s ear, “I’m going to mark you as mine.  All mine.  But first, you have an appointment with a few Omegas.  I’ll be watching from now on, very closely, if you try _anything_ to try and signal help, they will join the long list of people who are dead because of you!”  The words were so sure and said with such conviction Dean was struggling to hold on to his hope that his loved ones were still alive.  The longer he was with Alistair the more it seemed likely the colonel had killed everyone he cared about. 

 

Alistair himself wheeled Dean through to the breeding area.  The smell of Castiel started filtering into the room, he could feel his sanity start to fray, like rope on a rock, slowly becoming weaker.  Each of the five Omegas that used him was just another step towards him snapping, it was inevitable and Dean could only hope, when he snapped, he wouldn’t know what was happening to him.  The carers cleaned him between Omegas, cursing him when he had soiled the table.  Dean couldn’t help more humiliated tears fall. 

 

He was back in his cell, still strapped to the table, the Omega carers had at least put the backrest up, giving Dean a different view rather than the ceiling.  They tried to feed him, one of the carers tried scooping porridge up to his mouth, Dean simply turning his head the other way.  He couldn’t make himself be spoon fed, there was only one person on this earth he wanted to be spoon-fed by and, according to Alistair, he was dead.  That thought started up an internal conflict within Dean’s brain, the side still fighting to hold on his sanity refused to believe Alistair’s acid words.  The other side of his brain, currently the winning side, wouldn’t stop playing the gunshot sound over and over. 

 

Reality was now his worst nightmare.  Dean lay there for an indecipherable amount of time, he felt his lids get heavy and welcomed sleep gladly, his rest, his oasis.  His brain provided Castiel, perfection in motion.  He was everything Dean could ever want.  In his dream he tried to walk over to Cas, but he was trapped, his legs wouldn’t move.  Dean looked down to his feet, finding nothing wrong.  He looked back up to Castiel, the look on the Omega’s face was one of shock, his eyes glassy.  Dean cried out for his True Mate but had no response.  It took a few seconds in the dream for Dean to notice the small bullet hole above Cas’ right eye, slightly hidden by his mussed hair.  Dean snapped awake just before Cas hit the ground.


	35. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)

Sam sat in front of the off-white screen, he shifted in his seat nervously running hands through his longer than normal hair.  This was it, they were about to hack into a national news station, blow the whole Alpha Sec operation out into the open.  Charlie and Ash were rushing around setting up the camera and various laptops and other fancy looking equipment.  Castiel stood out the way, apart from when Castiel was at the peak of his heat, it was the first time Sam could see Castiel as an Omega.  He looked nervous, was visibly trying to make himself smaller by hunching his shoulders. 

 

“Alright Sam, are you ready?  Charlie’s face was one of concern but with an undertone of optimism.  Sam nodded in response.  He was going to say his part, tell of the trauma he had been through, broadcast his pain to the world before Castiel stepped in to corroborate the story.  Castiel had phone Chuck the day before and left several messages pleading for his help.  They wondered if someone had got a hold of Chuck, or if Chuck had got spooked and fled.  They all prayed that he would turn up but, for now, Sam and Castiel were all they had.

 

“Ok, the six O’clock news will be on in five minutes, we’ll broadcast then, an interruption on such a huge scale can’t go unnoticed.”  Ash seemed confident too.

 

The minutes passed slowly, Sam running through his speech a couple more times, he refused to use cue cards, he wanted to stare America right in the face and tell them of the horrors their Government let happen.  When it was time, Charlie counted him in and, at one minute past six Sam bared his soul on national television.  “Hello America, my name is Samuel Winchester.  I am an Alpha.  For the last six weeks I have been held captive by the Alpha Sec in a research facility in Kansas.  You all think we are there of our own free will.  We are not.  When we came back from the war the Alphas were told to sign the Alpha register, documenting all of your personal information.  This was used to abduct every single Alpha in the country.  The Alpha Sec KILLED anyone who stood in their way.  That included my Mate, Jessica Moore.  She was gunned down on by soldier outside her home.  The government tried to pin it on me.  Since my capture I have been raped and assaulted, my Mate’s scent has been used to force me to knot.  There are a numbers of Omegas who used me, they were blinded by government propaganda.  That stops now.  Please, America, stop this.”

 

Sam stood and moved out of shot, Castiel moved into the frame, he tried to hold the camera in his gaze but he had to look to the others in the room for support a few times.  “My name is Castiel   Milton.  I am an Omega.  I used to be a reporter, I went undercover into the research facility as a carer, trying to find out the truth about some Alphas’ sudden disappearances.  Everything Sam has said is correct.  There are another sixty nine Alphas all suffering the same fate.  This is a plea to the Government to open their eyes to the disgusting behaviour of the Alpha Sec.  It was not that long ago that this exact scenario was happening to Omegas.  The use of forced captivity to aid breeding programmes is wrong!  The Alpha Sec is lying to you all and, at the moment we aren’t sure whether the government doesn’t know or if it just doesn’t care.  Either way, this is a plea to you, the citizens of America, the Alphas of this country need your help.”   Castiel looked up and nodded at Charlie and Ash to finish the broad cast.

 

 He stood up and switched the television onto the channel they had hijacked.  The newsreader was making apologies about the disturbance and moved onto the other news stories.  After a few minutes the newsreader was reporting on the broadcast.  “Some viewers may have seen the disturbance to the usual programme.  Samuel Winchester and Castiel Milton, An Alpha and an Omega both from Lawrence, Kansas hacking into the network’s signal and accused the Alpha Sec of raping, abusing and assaulting Alphas across the country.”  They had wrangled a technology reporter to talk about how they could have pulled off such a feat.  They went to a correspondent outside the White House awaiting a reaction from the Government.  In the motel, the group watched silently, it certainly had created a bit of a reaction, they flicked through some of the other news channels.  Various parts of their speech were being played out on nearly everything news channel. 

 

“Now what?”  Sam asked, he needed something to focus on, if he didn’t he was scared he would start thinking of his Mate, he couldn’t do that, it was a deep dark hole that he couldn’t fall into, not yet, not until Dean was safe, then he might afford himself the luxury of mourning his deceased Mate.

 

“Now we just have to wait, see what the reaction from the government is.  See if they will take this seriously.”  Charlie looked at Sam with sympathy, it couldn’t be easy being told to do nothing whilst his brother was being held.

 

“And if they don’t?”  Sam asked the dreaded question.  When no one answered him he ran his hands through his hair again, trying to centre himself. 

 

The group kept a vigil on all the news channels, noting down various reactions, noting what organisations they could maybe get in contact if it didn’t go their way.  In the small hours of the next morning things were slowing down somewhat, other news stories were being reported on, it felt more like a calm before the storm feeling.  An unease spread throughout the group in the motel room.  The White House and the Alpha Sec were both keeping very quiet.  Charlie made a run and got them coffee just before the eight A.M news.  They waited with baited breath as the anchorwoman stated there was a statement from the White House.  The picture changed to the president standing at a podium, looking pristine even though he must have been up all night.

 

The group watched on as the president spoke.  “My fellow Americans, last night we were all exposed to two young men who made some malicious claims against the Government and against the Alpha Sec.  They stated the Alphas are being held against their will and that they are being abused.  Specialists at the White House have been working through the night to try and identify these men.  As yet we cannot confirm that the person presenting as Samuel Winchester is indeed who he says he is.  As far as our records go Samuel Winchester is being looked after in the research facility in California.  Therefore we can only assume that the man seen last night is an imposter.  Imposters who seem set on derailing our Alpha breeding programme.  The Alpha breeding programme is America’s way of rebuilding our great nation after the War.  If these _terrorists_ are heeded, we are putting everything and everyone we hold dear in danger.  Believe me when I say the Alphas are being treated well and soon we will have a new generation of Alphas.  God Bless America.”

 

The anchorwomen then went on to discuss the topic with a panel already in the studio, all vehemently agreeing with the President and his statement.  Sam watched in horror as the groups’ efforts were painted as a terrorist attack.  It made him feel sick to his stomach.  He had failed his brother, again.  At this rate there would be no investigation and Dean would be left in the god forsaken facility.  So deep was Sam’s anguish he didn’t hear the knock at the door.

 

“Chuck?  Where the hell have you been?!”  Castiel pulled the professor into the room and slammed him up against the wall. 

 

“Easy there Castiel, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come ok!  Then I saw your little display last night and figured someone will probably come after me, as a precaution type thing.  So I ran, and I was going to run to Mexico but I couldn’t turn my back, I had a part in this and I need to face up to that, no matter what the consequences.”

 

Sam turned slowly to look at the new arrival, a murderous glare freezing the omega in place.  “Chuck, like Professor Shurley.  Like the guy who extracts pheromones to torture Alphas?”  Sam launched himself at the Omega, only stopping when Castiel stepped in front of him, arms high.

 

“Sam wait!  He was being threatened by the Alpha Sec, he had no choice.  We need him anyway.  We can do the same thing again right?  Get Chuck to make his statement, he has people to know him, will notice if he goes on TV?”

 

“They’ll just say he’s another terrorist.  What’s the point?”  Sam was fighting the urge to take out Castiel to get to Chuck.

 

“I brought some I.D figured I might need it.  My professorship which is dated a few years ago, driving licence, they can’t ignore something like that surely.”

 

“Fine, but after your statement is done, you leave.”  Sam’s voice was low and full of threat.

 

“Trust me there’s nothing I want to do more than to disappear.”

 

Things had just about settled when it seemed there was going to be an even bigger reunion.  Sam lay on one of the beds dozing, Castiel had taken Charlie, Ash and Chuck to get rooms at the Motel, everyone exhausted by the morning events.  Sam was woken by a hard rap at the door.  He walked over, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked through the peephole, not believing what he saw he made sure to latch the door on the safety chain before opening the door.

        

“Hello Sam.”  The voice was deep and weighty, he wasn’t used to hearing other Alpha voices anymore, only his and Dean’s.  He viewed the man standing in front of him, thinking what words he would use.

 

“Dad?”  A moment of panic flooded through him.  Sam would literally rather die than be brought back to the facility, he would fight with everything he had.  The Alpha in front of him must have sensed his panic as he raised his hands, showing he was unarmed.

 

“I’m here to help Sam, Dean sent me, told me where to find you.”  Sam closed the door and unlatched the safety chain, opening the door wide enough to grant his father access to the motel room.

 

“You’ve seen Dean?  Is he Ok?  Why the hell didn’t you help him!?”  Sam grabbed his father by his jacket and forced him up against the wall.  He was shouting in the man’s face.

 

“Sam!  I couldn’t get him out, Alistair was there, he was going to kill Dean, I had to leave.  It’s bad Sammy, so bad.”  John had a haunted look in his eye, Sam didn’t even want to imagine what his dad had seen to put that look on John Winchester’s face.  He had never seen his dad look like that before, it was genuine fear for his son.

 

“SHIT!!!”  Sam let go of his dad and punched the wall beside his head, the pain in his knuckles centring him.  “You know this is your fault right?!”  Sam was speaking through clenched teeth, fury making him shake as he stepped into his father’s personal space.

 

“I know.  I messed up that’s why-“

 

“You messed up? YOU MESSED UP?!  Fucking understatement of the year, but please tell me about the time you _messed up_.  Was it when you used to beat Dean black and blue when we were kids, was it when you _broke_ his arm because I fell and broke mine on his watch.  Was it when you gave him a concussion after a heavy night cos he ‘deserved it.’  Or no maybe you messed up when you FORCED us both to go to war.  Or nearly killed Dean when he refused to sign your fucked up register.  Maybe it was when you killed the people we cared about.  Which time Dad?  Which time did you mess up?”  Tears were freely falling down his face.  It was the confrontation that was years overdue.  Sam looked at his father with no affectionate feeling, he hated the man, with everything he had.  The man had ruined his life so thoroughly, there was no longer a happily ever after left for Sam.

 

“You’re right.  About everything.  It’s just, when your mom died-“

 

“DON’T!!  Don’t, you dare, use her as an excuse.  I might not remember her, I was too young.  But Dean does.  He used to tell me about her, at night, like a bed time story.  She was so loving and caring she would be disgusted by you, she would hate you just as much as I do if she saw what you have done.  You’re here to help, fine, we have a job for you to do, but I don’t want you near me.”

 

“I heard about the stunt you pulled on the national news.  Caused quite the stir I see.  I will corroborate your story, I brought I.D with me.  Then I am going straight to the police station and handing myself in.  I will tell them everything.  I’ll announce where I’m going, make a really big noise.  They can’t ignore that.  Just need you to do the techy thing with the gadgets.”

 

“It would be a big help in getting Dean free, but it won’t change my feelings towards you.”

 

“Never thought it would Sammy.”

 

“Sam.”

 

“What?”

 

“My name is Sam, only Dean calls me Sammy.”

 

“Whatever, I’ll go get a room.”  John walked out of the motel room, leaving Sam to stew after his outbursts.  At least there was a direction to move in.  He was impatient with waiting already.  Cas stood dumbstruck at the door to the room, tears filling his eyes.  He must have heard every word about Dean and the years of abuse that he had suffered at the hands of their father.

 

Again, that night they set up the camera equipment again, this time Chuck sat in front of the Camera, his documents on his lap to show the world, he felt like he was about to throw up.  He was terrified and was sure he would get murdered by the Alpha Sec after this stunt.  He wondered if at least his Death would cause enough suspicion to build Sam and Castiel’s case.  He braced himself and, when the red headed Beta nodded at him he held up his professorship and stated, “My name is professor Chuck Shurley, I am a professor of genetics and biochemistry at the University of Kansas, my family and friends were used against me to force me to perform experiments on the Alphas within the research facilities, namely forcing them to knot using their Mate’s scent. What Samuel Winchester said last night is completely correct.  The Alpha Sec are continuing with the use of the Omega scent, forcing Alphas to knot with non-Mate Omegas.  It is very distressing to the Alpha and so many forced knots could have long term effects.  We need the Alphas to be released to appropriate medical care and then returned home to what’s left of their families.  Please.”  Chuck stood and made way for the huge in comparison Alpha to take the seat. 

 

“I am Sergeant John Winchester, my sons Samuel Winchester and Dean Winchester have been victims of gross misconduct by the Alpha Sec.  Dean is still being held against his will, he is injured and is not receiving the correct medical care required.  I had a part to play in this.  I am the one who ordered the _forced_ removal of all Alphas from their homes, the order was to collect Alphas and not worry about collateral damage.  People were killed because of my orders.  I am going to hand myself in to the nearest police station, along with this,” John produced an envelope, in it contained confidential information about the whole project and explicitly named all those involved. “It had every experiment, every report and every order surrounding the Alpha breeding programme, as the truth behind the programme.  I can’t go on believing the lies I had been told by the Alpha Sec, we need for the Alphas to be released.  Now.”  John stood wordlessly and made his way straight to the Motel door, Sam wouldn’t have cared for his Dad’s future, the man was hated, if it wasn’t for the last look John gave Sam as he walked out the door.  John’s eye were tear rimmed, his face one of complete desolation.

 

The night was yet again spent watching the news channels reaction to the new statement given by Chuck and John, the presenters were looking more and more grim, less comfortable talking about the Alpha’s plight as it was becoming apparent it wasn’t a made up story.  By breakfast time the next morning, marches were being organised across the country by various human rights groups, demanding that the allegations at least be investigated.  Sam felt like he was running on fumes, he lay on his bed exhausted, he had been up for thirty four hours and he felt like crap.  Anytime he stopped to think, either the reality of Sam’s life threatened to take him over or his thoughts wondered to his father.  It seemed John’s statement was the final push their cause needed in order to get noticed.  Could he forgive his dad for his crimes against him and his brother?  Sam wasn’t sure, there was too much that blackened Sam’s view of John Winchester.  His dad was more a figure of fear and betrayal than one of love and trust.  So Sam pushed his thoughts so far down and threw all his energy into helping Dean, he spent much of his time researching and emailing various groups that had been mentioned on the news, all through Charlie and Ash’s secure server. 


	36. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!!  
> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)

Alistair was seething as he read the summons to head quarters.  The activists were stirring up a fuss, the Government were starting to ask questions the Alpha Sec didn’t want to answer and now he was being summoned to answer those questions as secondary leader of the project.  He cursed that stupid little Omega for ruining his time with Dean, it looked like his monopoly on Dean going to come to an abrupt end.  He couldn’t go and stand in front of Government officials and answer any of the questions, they would ask to inspect the facility that an Alpha had been rumoured to have escaped from.  They would find out all his sordid secrets, they would definitely arrest him.  Alistair’s career in the Army was officially over, right now.  Alistair walked to his desk and wrote to Colonel Azazel that he would not be attending the summons as he was renouncing his title as Colonel and he was leaving the Army, effective immediately.

 

As soon as he pressed the send button he felt a weight lift from his shoulders, he was free from the protocols and restrictions that came with his status, he could do as he pleased and right now, he had full access to his favourite Alpha just one last time.

 

Dean lay there motionless, he was unaware of his surroundings, he was only vaguely aware of hands on him, the wetness all over his body, his limps being moved within the bonds so the hands could wipe the hard to reach areas.  The only things that tethered him to the earth was the change of hot and cold that he felt, shivering whilst feeling on fire the whole time and the sharp pain in his cock as a hand ran up and down it clumsily.  The long tube filled him painfully until he felt the release of his bladder.  Dean slid back to his numbness when the burning settled.  His mind was blank and empty, any time Dean tried to remember anything, it just became more fuzzy, more distant.  A once vivid picture was now just two small globes of blue and a slight frame.  There was something important about the blue but for the life of him Dean couldn’t find out what it was.  He wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up, he always got wakened up and every time Dean wished they would just leave him alone and let him drift off into oblivion.

 

_Dean was sat up in the bed, the Omega carer trying to spoon feed him the horrible mush they counted as breakfast.  Dean shoock his head and avoided all attempts to push the spoon between his clenched teeth. When they forced his mouth open and pushed it to the back of his throat he made a point of gagging until it came back up, spitting it onto the carers’ feet.  Dean had come to a grim decision today.  Alistair’s acidic, bitter words circled around his head, ‘Cas is dead, Sam is dead, your dad is dead.  Everyone is dead because of you Dean!’  If Cas and Sam were dead, Dean had nothing to live for, literally nothing.  He wanted to join his True Mate in the Afterlife, he wanted to see his Cas again.  It seemed this was the only way he would achieve, keeping food in his stomach was the only thing he had control over and he could use that to push him into that oblivion his Omega now resided.  So diminished was the hope that Dean felt, his only hope was that he could kill himself quickly enough that it wouldn’t hurt too much.  His stomach was already in agonising pain at the lack of food, he had already been eating very little over the past month his bones were showing nearly everywhere now, his muscles were wasting away to nothing, surely it can’t be much more until his body gives up.  It really wouldn’t be too much longer before his mind gave up completely._

_When Alistair walked into his cell, Dean started weeping, he couldn’t take anymore torture today, he felt like his cock was going to fall off, another five Omegas used him yesterday.  There was a man in a white coat following but it wasn’t the same one as before, Alistair was talking, “As you can see this one needs something to increase his intake, for some reason he is refusing food, he is still happily servicing Omegas but he can’t keep food down.”_

_The man in the white coat looked bored and as if he couldn’t care less about WHY Dean wasn’t keeping food down.  “Alright, I can out a nasogastric tube in and prescribe feeds.  I’ll put in a cannula for IV fluids and we will need to catheterise him when he’s not with Omegas to monitor his output.  Couple of rest days and he’ll be good to go again.  How responsive is he?”_

_“Variable, might be best to knock him out so you can work in peace.”_

_Dean remembered his mouth didn’t have the gag in and he pleaded shamelessly, “Please Alistair, let me die!  PLEASE!  Just let me die!  Let me die, let me die, let me die!”_

_The doctor looked less than moved at Dean’s pleas.  “Must be delirious from the dehydration, again, couple of days and that will settle.”  The doctor was sticking something in his arm, Dean tried to pull away from the injection but was unable, his hands held fast down by his side by the cuffs attached to the trolley.  Very quickly he drifted off, hoping the doctor took pity on him and gave him a lethal dose of something._

_Dean groggily opened his eyes, he was alone again, or maybe he was alone all along, maybe Alistair and the doctor weren’t real.  He noticed something strange, his hunger, it was gone, there was a weird sensation in his nose, he looked down and saw the tube protruding from his nose and attached to another tube that ran to a bag of milky looking fluids labelled ‘NG Tube Feed.’  Feed, they were feeding him.  Dean flailed in anger and felt something tug at this arm, he saw another tube connected to something that disappeared into his skin just below the crook of his elbow. The bag that was connected to was clear fluids.  A third new tube was the most disturbing however, a think tube and straight from within his cock to a bag hanging from the trolley, a catheter bag, for his urine.  Dean tried to scream and shout but was unsurprised to find the gag was back in place.  He had failed_ again _.  He couldn’t even manage to end his own suffering.  Tears slipped down his cheeks, he felt the last his sanity slowly chafe away.  The flicker of hope he held was stubbed out, nothing left he could do._

 

Dean wasn’t sure why his brain would make him relive that memory, that might have been yesterday, it might have been last year, he couldn’t tell.  When he heard the nasally drawl of his captor and torturer, Dean could no longer bring himself to care, there was nothing the man could do that was worse than this, living when all he wanted to do was die.  He heard words come from the man but they washed over him without him hearing them.  Dean actually smiled when he felt the sharp stabbing pain on his chest.  When the pain continued across his torso, Dean started laughing, he could feel the wounds ooze blood and the pain was one that overtook the pain in his still injured leg.  _This_ could kill him and he welcomed it gladly.  He would meet his brother and his lover in the afterlife after all.  The pain brought Dean back to his surroundings, he heard Alistair crystal clear when he whispered in his ear, “You will always be mine Dean, the scars won’t let you forget.”  Dean had no idea what he meant but let the pain and loss of blood claim him.  When he woke up again there was a lot of fuss and commotion, Dean couldn’t focus on the hubbub, it was only when a name was mentioned Dean scraped himself together enough to make out what they were saying.

 

“Yeah, apparently this guy’s True Mate was actually working here for a while, he’s the one kicking up the fuss about the abuse of Alphas.  What was his name?  Castiel, I think.” The voice said to an unheard question, “it’s all over the news, the Omega was on a couple nights ago.  I thought they were just being oversensitive but, dude this Alpha has been sliced like a chicken, we need to phone this in...”  Dean wasn’t sure he heard the carer right...  The darkness was threatening to close in again, except this time Dean didn’t want to fade away, not if there was a chance his Omega was alive.

 

_Cas?_

 

The announcement the next morning was enough to make the whole group cheer and weep simultaneously.  The Anchorwoman read in a sombre tone, “After a drastic U turn from the Government, it has been declared that the allegations of abuse against Alphas will be investigated, starting with the facility here in Kansas, this follows the resignation of one of the project’s leaders, Colonel Alistair, since then there has been a number of reports of abuse being filed, we are told that the government officials in charge of the investigation are due to arrive at the compound in the next few hours...”  the newsreader was still talking but Castiel had calmed from the initial announcement.

 

“We need to be there when they go in.  We need to get Dean!  Oh my God!  Today is the day!  I get my Dean back!”  Castiel hurriedly started packing up his clothes.

 

“Castiel, they aren’t going to let you in.  We don’t even know if this is real.  It could be a trap to capture me again.”  Sam may have sounded cynical but after everything that had happened, paranoia just seemed like common sense.

 

“Then I’ll go myself.  I need to get there.  If it isn’t a trap I can tell them everything.  We can tear this all down Sam!”  Castiel was whirling around the room, determined but scared.   He would go to the edge of the earth for his Alpha, he had already tried one crazy escape attempt, a second couldn’t go much worse.

 

Sam clenched his jaw and worried at his lip.  It seemed like a lot of effort if it was a trap, it seemed genuine enough.  “Fine.  I’m coming too, but if this thing turns sideways...” Sam had to finish to that sentence, neither of them were going back there and leaving without Dean.

 

“Yeah I know Sam.”  Castiel turned to Ash and Charlie, “Thank you both so much for your help.  We couldn’t have done this without you.  We need to do this next bit ourselves though.”

 

“Just look after yourselves Ok?!  Now go get your Mate, Castiel!”

 

Sam insisted on driving to the facility, to Castiel it felt as if they were travelling at snail’s pace, the miles couldn’t shoot by fast enough, they waited outside the facilities boundaries and had to wait for any sign of the government officials showing up.  It was Sam that broke the silence.  “You know Castiel, the Dean that you helped to escape, he might not be the same Dean that comes out of there.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Dean put everything he had into saving me, making sure I got out of there.  His leg was pretty bad when he fell, and Alistair is one scary son of a bitch, Dean will have fought as hard as he can but Alistair has this thing where he knows exactly how to hurt Dean so bad.  Truth be told I’m scared that Dean might not still be alive...”

 

“No.”

 

“What?”

 

“No, Dean’s not dead, he can’t be.  I didn’t stumble upon my True Mate and fall in love with him just for some psychopath to kill him before we even had a real first date.”  Castiel knew Dean would be carrying scars, physical and emotional but nothing he wouldn’t be able to fix with some love and affection.

 

Half an hour passed, the air heavy with anticipation, Castiel wanting to raid the facility to rescue his Alpha already.  Eventually a convoy of black cars came into view, Sam and Castiel left the car and stepped in front of the cars to bring them to a stop.  A man in sunglasses stepped out one of the cars and moved towards the Alpha and the Omega.  It dawned on Cas that they could quiet easily be shot down here, in the middle of nowhere.

 

“Sam and Castiel I presume,” the man was short, black hair joining equally black facial hair.  It was a Beta male but who held the posture of an Alpha.

 

“And you are?”  Sam stood tall to try and assert his dominance over the cocky Beta.

 

“Crowley, Governor Crowley.  I am charged with investigating your claims.  I’m assuming you’re here to take your precious Dean home.”  Sam didn’t like Crowley, he didn’t trust him, he wanted to smack the stupid smirk off his face.  It made his skin crawl knowing he had to work with this leech.

 

“We are here to show you the abuse that happened here, and to make sure Dean leaves this hell hole safely.”

 

“Fine, come with us.”  Crowley waved what looked like henchmen and they allowed Sam and Castiel to drive behind the convoy and into the compound.  As they pulled up and got out of the cars Sam had a couple of questions for the governor.

 

“Governor, the other day, the President’s speech, he painted me as a terrorist.  Did he know what was happening?”

 

“The president is just the figure head, he reads what he’s told to and he doesn’t ask questions.  The Alpha Sec gave him that spiel to read.  Oh don’t look so shocked it’s how the world works.  Then when John Winchester got involved the president actually thought for himself, now, here we are.”

 

“How much did you know?”

 

“Hey I’m a government man, I was faceless and believed what I was told like everyone else. With all these suspicions I took an opportunity and managed to get myself in with the president’s inner circles, that let me into a few juicy secrets and after the whole Sam Winchester escape debacle, it looked like the president was going to lose favour with the voting public, I had thrown my chips in with him and I didn’t want my political career to end.”

 

“So basically you’re helping yourself.”  Sam was less than impressed at this worm of a man.

 

“Look, help me to help you to help me to help you.  You give me the gory detail of your holiday from hell, we get Dean out, I blow the whistle on this whole thing and the Alpha Sec is stopped, the president saves face and I don’t lose my job.  Everyone’s happy.  Shall we?”  Crowley gestured to the facility door.  Castiel was filled with such unease, the governor was barely any better than Alistair in terms of human emotions.  The only redeeming quality of this leach was that they were working towards the same goal, taking down the Alpha Sec.  Castiel was pulled to his primary goal, getting Dean.  He pushed past the group to get into the facility.

 

Castiel was breathing hard as he stormed past the security desk, Clint looking confused at the entourage behind him.  Castiel didn’t stop despite the security guards order to stop.  He used his still active key card to get access to the main area.  He strode across to the Perspex wall, he was halted in shock at the sight before him, not for the first time in this dammed building. 

 

The first thing Castiel noticed was that Dean was breathing, slowly and shallowly, but he was breathing.  From there it took a turn for the worse, Dean was laying naked on a metal trolley, his arms were cuffed to the trolley by his side and his ankles were cuffed to the bottom corners, there was a huge cast that covered most of Dean’s leg.  Castiel let himself into the cell, worried as to why the door wasn’t locked, it suggested Dean hadn’t been uncuffed in a long time.  He could smell Dean but nowhere near as strong or as intoxicating, it smelled diluted, like it was being washed away.  As Castiel neared Dean he saw the sharpness of his bones as they stuck out of his ribs, his cheekbones were too defined, his arms were so thin compared to when Castiel last saw him, and he didn’t have much to lose then either.  Castiel’s eyes were trained on Dean’s closed eyelids, wishing them open.  He reached out to touch his Dean, he looked so fragile it was heart breaking.  He was going to reach down and kiss Dean but was stopped by a gag sitting in his mouth as he removed it gingerly he noticed a tube running into the Alphas nose, Castiel observed the other various tubes, a wave of nausea flowed through him again.  “Oh Dean!” He stepped back and observed his Alpha in one, that’s when the gashes across dean’s chest made themselves obvious.  There seemed to be a pattern to the flicks and straight lines, then his brain clicked.

 

‘ALISTAIR’

 

The word became clearer the more Castiel had to look at it.  That sick bastard had claimed him.  Castiel felt an unfamiliar wave of rage at the thought of another trying to take _his_ Alpha.  Instead he tried to rouse the bound man.  “Dean?  Dean?  Please Dean!  Wake up!”  He gently shook at the shoulders but was terrified of hurting the abused Alpha.  Dean’s chest heaved slightly and Dean’s nose was breathing in deeply.  Tears were streaming down Dean’s face, he was clearly in distress.

 

Dean couldn’t help the tears now.  Every time he smelt _that_ distinctive scent it brought a wave of shame and fear, he couldn’t help it anymore.  He put out a pitiful whimper, he was so far into his own world of willing death along that he barely felt the cuffs being removed from his wrists and ankles.  He heard a voice, he was sure it was a voice that was once so important to him.  For the life of him he couldn’t bring himself to remember.  His brain must be trying to make him feel better, or maybe sepsis is setting in finally and he’ll be dead soon.  When the voice wouldn’t stop Dean got mildly irritated, couldn’t a man die in peace here?  He felt lots of hands on him and he was being moved, he knew that because that was the only time his leg hurt was when he was moved from trolley to trolley.  There was a sharp sting in his arm that made him hiss.  After an indistinguishable amount of time, things started to become slightly clearer.  He found the source of the important voice.  It was a blue eyed man, he was the man his brain would provide images of occasionally, Dean knew this man, he was sure if it.  He grabbed at his memories before the fall, before the blinding pain before the magnitude of suffering that made him want to forget everything, want to die.  “Cas?”  He managed out loud. 

 

Castiel could have cried when he finally saw Dean’s eyes focus on him and recognise him.  By now the Ambulance crew were here and preparing Dean for transport to the nearest hospital.  The governor had wasted no time in arranging everything for the immediate release.  Sam was standing behind the governor, his face pale as a sheet, not daring to come any closer to his brother.  Castiel didn’t even register Sam’s absence as he focused on keeping up a constant commentary about what was happening for Dean’s benefit.  When Dean eventually opened his eyes and said his name it was a beautiful moment.  However, it didn’t last long, Dean’s eyes slid shut and was unconscious again, much to Castiel’s panic.  “What’s wrong!?  What happened!?”

 

“Mr. Novak, Dean is in a serious condition, his body needs to heal, we gave him a sedative to keep him asleep so his body can heal.”

 

“He hates sedatives.”  Castiel mumbled absently as Dean was wheeled on the gurney into the Ambulance, Castiel jumped in and only noticed Sam wasn’t there when the doors were shut and Castiel was watching Sam disappear as the Ambulance drove with sirens blaring.


	37. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)

It took Dean a few minutes to minutes to identify all of the different sounds, his world had been so quiet for the last couple months it almost hurt his ears.  There was a constant beeping coming from somewhere, it was irritating.  There was a lot more noise here.  There were continuous footsteps nearly, there was chattering, it sounded like a thousand different voices were battling to be heard.  Further away there was the chirping of birds, cars that passed by.  The Alpha wondered where the hell he was, had he been transferred to another facility, did he care?  He felt so tired and foggy his brain couldn’t make sense of his surroundings.  The world started to clear and Dean’s brain provided what information it could.  The image of blue eyes and that soothing voice was thrust forwards first and foremost.  Castiel, Cas, he was sure he saw Cas at some point recently.  Was Cas still alive?  Was Alistair lying all this time?  Maybe Sam was still alive too.  A voice stirred him further from his safe cocoon of his own mind.

 

“Dean, Dean are you awake?  Can you open your eyes?”  Dean recognised that voice, Cas _is_ here, he thought.  He opened his eyes and searched through the sleep daze for those sapphire eyes, when he met them he was hit with such relief that tears gathered at the corner of his eyes.  The man in front of him was beautiful and looked at him with such awe.  “You’re free Dean, you’re never going back there ever again.  You will _never_ have to suffer like that again.”  Dean furrowed his brow when Cas looked at him with concern, “Dean, the doctors had to keep the feeding tube in until you can eat enough yourself, you’re dangerously underweight, dehydrated.”  Cas’ voice trailed off, he sounded so sad. 

 

When Cas moved to stand to get Dean a drink that the Omega scent wafted into his nostrils, that scent that, for the last few days, connotated pain, abuse, humiliation and rape.  Dean wept in panic, when he found his hands and legs were free he curled himself as small as he could and pushed his nose as deep into the pillow as he could, his breathing suddenly became impossible, the air wouldn’t get in his lungs fast enough.  He didn’t want to impregnate Omegas anymore, he thought he was safe, he thought he wouldn’t have to do that anymore.  Castiel said he was safe.  The world was spinning, Dean was out of control, he thought he was free but that smell just shot him right back to the hated facility.

 

“Dean!!  DEAN!!  Please someone help!!”  Castiel had no idea why Dean was reacting this way.  He tried to move Dean’s arm away from his face, Dean made a panicked cry and pulled away with great force.  It made him feel so helpless, he could help his Alpha, his Alpha was in pain and there was nothing that he could do.  The doctors rushed in and tried to prize Dean away from the pillow, with no success, even if he was painfully thin he still had some Alpha strength left. 

 

When Sam entered the room and surveyed the scene he seemed to know exactly what was wrong.  He shoved Castiel out of the room and grabbed some deodorant from a duffel bag in the corner and sprayed the room, cloaking the Omega scent.  He hurried out to confront the furious looking Omega in front of him.  “Why did you push me out here!  Dean needs me!”

 

“Castiel!  Listen to me!  You told me that Alistair found you right?  Did he get a sample of your saliva?”

 

“What?!  No!”

 

“What about blood, hair, skin anything that could get your DNA?”

 

“Why is this important now?!”

 

“It just is!  If he got your DNA he might have been able to artificially make your scent, you know, Dean’s True Mate’s scent and forced him to knot.  That’s what they did to me.”  Sam averted his eyes at the last confession.  He was still ashamed with his body for reacting the way it did.

 

“He grabbed my hair, it hurt, he must have pulled some hair free.   Oh God!  Dean’s never going to want my scent now.  Not after that.”  Castiel was close to disappearing into a pit of despair, he was going to lose his Alpha mere hours after gaining his freedom.

 

“Just let me try and calm him down, we’ll figure it out.  Go get something to eat, take a break, go for a walk.”  Sam was initially devastated by the sight of his brother.  He had been stunned into silence and stood dumbly as his brother was taken into the back of the ambulance and driven away, only when Governor Crowley had made some slimy comments about Sam and Cas saving his political career had he been pulled from his thoughts, he punched the Governor as hard as he could.  He was surprised when Crowley waved off his body guards and left him, at the door of the facility.  He drove to the hospital on autopilot and waited with Castiel for news on his brother.  He had just gone to get coffee when Dean had kicked off at the scent.

 

Now Sam walked into the hospital room and asked politely if the crowd of doctors and nurses surrounding Dean would leave the room.  Sam knelt on the floor so his face was level with Dean’s.  “Hey, Dean.  It’s ok you don’t have to move.  I’m here for you.  The scent is gone.  I know the fear that comes with that scent.  It’s ok though, it’s the real Castiel.  He’s not going to force you into anything, no one will.  Never.”  Sam was encouraged when Dean’s arms uncurled slightly to allow terrified green orbs to seek him out.  They went wide with surprise before Sam found himself grabbed and pulled up to the bed for a hug.  Once his mind caught up Sam held his brother as close as he could.  The brothers were back together.  Sam thought they would work through anything life had to throw at them.  Sam would carry Dean if he had to.  He knew what worked the last time they had been in a similar position, talking, they just had to talk it out, they would be fine.

 

“Dean, how are you feeling?”

 

Dean considered his answer, the truth was he didn’t know.  There were so many emotions that filled Dean’s brain they were so confusing.  He was ecstatic that Cas and Sam were alive and well.  He was relieved that he was out of that hell that he was rotting in.  He was angry at himself for giving up back at the facility, he was actively trying to die, he should have known that Cas was alive.  He was devastated that the Scent of his True Mate made him shiver and weep like a scared pup. Dean felt the familiar bitter feeling of disappointment that again he was failing his Omega and not being able to provide for him, he couldn’t even be in the same room. He wanted to hunt the freak that had enjoyed his torture so much.  Dean wondered where his Dad was, did he ever find Sam?  He wanted to go back to his previous life, before everything happened, except he didn’t want that because then Cas wouldn’t be a part of his life.  It was all too much and Dean couldn’t find any words to start to try to process his thoughts.  It was threatening to rip him apart, Dean was convinced if he opened his mouth to share his feelings, his experience, he would break so much he could never be mended.  He would shatter into glass shards, he would explode and take everyone down with him in the chaos.  His voice had been taken from him he was forced into silence and he was dammed if he was going to be forced to speak again only to break down.  Dean stayed silent instead and shook his head. 

 

“Dean?  Can you answer me?”  Sam’s stomach dropped, he tried to keep the panic from his face.  He knew Dean _could_ talk, Castiel told him that Dean had said his name back in the facility.  Sam wondered if Dean _would_ talk. 

 

“He won’t answer you.”  The deep voice boomed from the doorway, it caused Dean to curl up again.  Sam straightened up to his full height, unsure how to react to the intruder.  John Winchester was standing just inside the door, his hands were cuffed in front of him with a second set attaching to the police officer beside him.  “It was the same when Mary died.  He would just lie there, not moving, not talking.  The only time he ever did anything was when he was looking after you.  He was silent for months, he started talking when you started babbling, but he would only talk to you, it was nearly another year before he talked to me.”  John appeared to have aged ten years since the last time Sam had seen his dad in the motel room.  He had a tired look that suggested defeat and regret.  “I’m so sorry boys, I never meant for any of this to happen.  I just... well, you were right Sam, back at that motel, I was using your mom as an excuse for my failures as a man and as a father.  I failed you boys so much, and I can never take that back.  But hey, it looks like I’m going down for a long time and I can’t imagine the Alpha Sec are going to let me get away with betraying them so...” the words were left heavily in the air, it made Sam frown, John merely shook his head and continued, “the only reason I’m here was because my statement allowed a search warrant to go through.  I just wanted to make sure you boys were ok.”

 

Sam really didn’t know what to say to his father.  The words seemed genuine, for the first time in his life, Sam felt as if his dad did care.  He was grateful that John had kept his word and had gone to the police.  The last couple of conversations with his dad had made him confused, Sam still wanted to be angry about Dean’s treatment growing up, the drinking, the war, everything but seeing John in front of him right now.  Sam didn’t know how to feel.  He muttered, “We’ll be fine, we always are.  Thank you.”  Sam slightly dipped his head as the officer started to pull John away.  The older Alpha returned the nod and allowed himself to be led wordlessly down the corridor.

 

The intrusion of his dad made Dean nervous.  Dean thought he wanted to know what had happened to his Dad but a reunion was just too much for Dean to handle, Alistair had told him John was dead.  There was just too much emotions, too many memories coated with pain and suffering to sort through.  It was easier to just be here, in his shell.  Cas and Sam were alive, that was the main thing but that was as much as he could deal with.  Dean tried to look forwards, to getting home, but that was fraught with worry, he had been in a cell so long.  How would he cope outside? Would Cas even want to look at him anymore?  Would he get his job at Bobby’s back?  Where would he live?  It made him feel nauseous with worry, it was like he couldn’t remember what it was to function.  Days of pain and humiliation and torture had stripped him of what he used to be.  He couldn’t even be around his Omega, the one thing he was genetically supposed to want more than anything.  Dean’s sense of self had crumbled all around him.  He stayed curled up, protecting himself from further harm, falling into a fitful sleep.

 

Castiel strolled the hospital parking lot, taking in the bleak vista.  It suited his mood perfectly, he knew this part wasn’t going to be easy, Dean had been through hell, quite literally, Castiel had managed to save him, but the Alpha had already been broken so badly Castiel felt he was too late with his rescue.  Now his Alpha was disgusted by his very scent.  It broke his heart to think that Dean and him were never going to have their happily ever after.  He just couldn’t see how Dean could ever look at him after the abuse he had endured and Castiel’s scent had helped with the torture.  Castiel grieved for the life he thought he was never going to get.  He felt so stupid, he didn’t even really know Dean all that well.  Maybe, with time, Dean would recover and Castiel would just be part of a bad memory but Castiel was sure, right now, there was no chance of Dean healing when every time he breathed he would be reminded of the rape he was subject to.

 

With a heavy heart and hating everything and everyone, Castiel trudged up to Dean’s room.  He knew what he had to do and he would do it, it would help his Alpha back to his life and that was all Castiel wanted, even if Castiel was no longer part of it.  Sam was sitting in the hard hospital chair looking exhausted.  “Sam, can I speak a moment with Dean, alone please?”

 

“Um, sure Castiel, he might not talk back though.  He just needs some time.”  Castiel nodded heavily, he stayed by the door, as far away from Dean as he could be.  He wanted to crawl into the small hospital bed and curl into his Alpha to provide comfort, instead he made sure his scent didn’t spark another panic attack, he stood as still as he could.

 

“Dean, it’s Castiel.  I won’t touch you, I promise,” the Omega smiled, it seemed a lifetime ago Dean was saying the same thing to him in the shower back at the facility, “I know that they used my scent to hurt you.  I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you out of there quicker.  I would have given anything for you to not have to go through what you did.  You are so strong, so brave.  I have never met anyone like you before, you’re so selfless and kind.  Even though I really haven’t known you for very long, you changed my life, for the better, you showed me what it’s like to love so fiercely, to trust so implicitly.  I don’t like what happened to Alphas general but I _hate_ what happened to you specifically.  I overheard Sam yelling at your dad.  I hate that you went through more shit before you were five than most people have to deal with in their whole lives.  I hate that whilst you were looking after Sam, there was no one looking after you.  I hate that some psycho took an interest you.  You deserve so much better than what you got given Dean.  You are wonderful and amazing, I hope you remember that one day.  I want to thank you for everything you taught me in our short time together.  I don’t want you to be scared, or be in pain anymore.  My scent disgusts you so I’ll leave.”  Castiel let the tears flow, his voice was already broken, he took a deep breath before he tore his own heart in two. “I’ll leave and you can get better and soon you’ll be able to forget.  You’ll forget that sick freak, you’ll forget that facility...  You’ll forget me, I’ll just become a bad memory.  You can get back to your life, you’ll have Sam and you’ll be great.  I love you Dean Winchester.”  Castiel meant every word.  That was his new dream for Dean, just to be happy, even if he wasn’t there. 

 

What Cas was saying didn’t make sense to Dean.  He didn’t feel brave or amazing, or any of the other things Cas was saying.  When the Omega talked about leaving Dean felt something he was too familiar with but at the same time was alien.  He felt it in his chest, it was a pain, pain Dean knew inside out by now.  The types and depths and severities but this was different, it was like his heart was physically being pulled and squeezed simultaneously, it made him sick at the thought of Castiel leaving.  He knew if Castiel left, that pain would never heal.  The more the thoughts worked through his brain the more emotion and feeling he could process.  He would lose his True Mate if he let Castiel walk out that door.  Dean needed him more than anything on this Earth, that much became crystal clear to him.  Castiel was the centre of his world now, his rock, his foundation.  He started and ended with his Omega.  He loved Castiel and he would not let the memory of Alistair’s torture stop him.  The thought had reaching for the folder kept on his bedside table and the attached pen, he scrawled over an important looking bit of paper in big writing, his muscles so unused to writing now.  He thrust it towards Cas without looking.

 

With Dean’s quick movements Castiel was worried he had caused another panic attack.  He cursed himself, he should have just the poor man well alone.   Dean held out the observations folder towards him, Castiel edged slowly towards the bed, took it and opened it to a large scrawl all over his chart.  It was four words that made Castiel’s heart flip, sing and jump all at the same time.  The chart read:

 

‘DONT LEAVE NEED YOU’

 

Castiel asked quietly, “Are you sure Dean, I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”  Dean nodded and gripped Castiel’s wrist tight, but not painfully.  Their gaze met, eyes locked into a look at hope, love and determination.  They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, neither moving away from the touch.  Castiel didn’t dare to move in fear of Dean pulling his hand away.   The tears streamed steadily but he couldn’t help but smile.  Dean’s eyes were watered, his expression was somewhere between exhausted and a half smirk.  “If you want me here, I will stay by your side.  I’ll find something to hide my scent for a while, I’ll stand by you.  Just know I love you.  I love you right this very second, I loved you back in the facility and I will love you forever.  You are so strong and brave.  I will never push you be better quicker.  You do what you need to when you need to and, I can help, I will.”  In smaller writing underneath the pleading for Cas to say in significantly smaller letters, as if unsure of himself or was unsure of Castiel’s reaction, Dean scribbled,

 

‘love u Cas’

 

For the first time since the facility, Dean actually felt _alive_.  His Omega loved him, there was a flame of hope that glowed inside.  He still felt mildly conflicted, the scent of Castiel was faint in the air and he had to work hard to not let the icy fear engulf him.  He had chosen to touch Cas.  He did that, he was able to, he wasn’t restrained.  He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.  He gently let go of Cas’ wrist.  He felt exhausted after this emotional scene.  He lay back in bed, not curled into a ball, but stretched out on his back and was sound asleep in minutes.


	38. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you liked what you read) Kudos :)

Dean was feeling better in himself, he knew that Cas was staying in his life, they even found a solution to cover some of Castiel’s scent.  The Omega seemed to have a load of out of the box ideas to help Dean recover.  Dean managed a shy smile when Cas entered his hospital room holding a paper bag from ‘Biggersons.’  He was dressed in one of Dean’s old band t-shirts he wore the day before, that was how they covered the scent that still made the Alpha tense.  The technique meant that Cas still smelled slightly of Omega but there was enough of Dean’s scent that it didn’t freak him out.  It really worked well, Dean could scent Castiel if the Omega scent got too strong.  The bond between the True Mates was starting to grow.  Dean trusting Castiel and Castiel having the patience of a scent with Dean.  The bond between the two men accelerating Dean’s healing, Castiel always could tell when Dean needed rest, when he needed pulled from his thoughts or when he needed left well enough alone to deal.

 

     “The doctors said if you ate today, you could get home soon.  I dunno about you but I wouldn’t eat this hospital food if it was the last food on this Earth.”  Castiel had a cheeky look on his face,  “the doctors didn’t say what you could and couldn’t eat.  We just need to make sure you don’t eat too much too fast.”  Dean eyed the bag with mixed emotion, the most exciting thing he had to eat was the porridge that Castiel put honey in, even which felt like a long time ago, however, it made him nervous to eat again, his stomach flipped and gurgled unpleasantly at the thought of food.  It was also the last thing that was taken from him by Alistair.  Dean _chose_ to stop eating and Alistair took that choice from him, he took everything.  So far Dean had chosen not to eat because he could, he could control that. The tube had been taken out earlier when Dean had shown the doctors he would drink fluids and wouldn’t need the drip anymore.   Even though he was told he was free, he wasn’t allowed to leave hospital, he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without an escort, he was told when to take meds, he was told when to sleep, he couldn’t even pee without needing someone to help him.  Eating was one of the small things he could chose to do, or not do.  Blue eyes came into his line of sight and made him come back to the room.

 

“It’s a big step Dean, I know.  You don’t have to if you don’t want to.  I just thought I’d bring a few choices, you can decide what you would like.  I’ll eat whatever you don’t.  Here’s some fries, onion rings, chicken strips, bacon cheese burger, hot dog no onions, hot dog with onions.  Take your pick.”  Castiel laid the items on the bedside table and watched Dean closely.  It was a big risk bringing fast food to Dean but when he went to the cafeteria to get something, both the broth and pudding recommended by the doctors looked a lot like the porridge Dean was given at the facility.  Castiel started nibbling on some fries, they were delicious, it made him want to feed them to his Alpha, to look after him, maybe he would feel those lips close around his fingers and lick the salt off...  Castiel shook his head away from the day dream, Dean was while away from that.

 

Tentatively, Dean reached forwards and grabbed a fry, Cas seemed to enjoy the fries he was eating.  Encouraged, Dean took half of the fry into his mouth and chewed experimentally, the flavours burst through his taste buds.  He swallowed and felt his stomach gurgle unhappily, but settled quickly.  He ate a couple more fries and found his stomach settled quicker the more he ate.  He munched though three quarters of the fries before eyeing up the three bigger choices.  He longed for the bacon cheese burger but thought it would be too much too soon and settled for the plain hot dog.  He managed half of it before he started to feel something approaching full and stopped.  He rubbed his stomach with contentment.  It was a small victory and he got to choose it.  Castiel finished the other hot dog and cleared away the rest of the food.  Dean loved the way Cas never pushed him too far, he never asked too much.  Cas was so good at taking care of him he only hoped that one day maybe he would be able to look after the little Omega as well as he was being looked after.

 

“Well done Dean.  I’m proud of you.”  Castiel held Dean’s hand gently and placed a soft kiss across the knuckles.  The Omega longed to hold the other man close, longed to lay together in the same bed, but for the moment embraced what contact Dean was comfortable with.  “Sam introduced me to your friend Bobby, he said he would be glad to have you stay with him till you’re up on your feet.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow in question as if to ask where Castiel would be staying.  “Bobby said I can stay too if that’s what you would like.  I didn’t want to presume that you would want me there.”  Dean nodded with enthusiasm, he wanted Castiel there, it was selfish but Dean never wanted Cas to leave.  He removed his hand from the gentle grip and grazed his fingers over the Omega’s cheek, Castiel leant into the touch and exhaled, it should have been a moment of affection but Dean could smell the Omega scent strengthen as Castiel accidently scented him.  He tensed and moved his hand away quickly and turned away, shoving his nose into the pillow to drown out the scent.  Dean managed to keep his breathing steady this time and he felt he wasn’t shuddering as much as he could have. 

 

Castiel’s heart sank when Dean pulled away, he could have kicked himself, he should have known to control his actions, it was the first time Dean had initiated any movement and he had scared the poor man off.  He noted that Dean’s panic attacks were becoming slightly less severe and held onto hope that this small improvement was a sign of things to come.

 

When Sam had learned that Dean was soon going to be getting discharged from hospital, he suddenly felt that everything was catching up with him.  If he stayed at Bobby’s he would be forced to deal with his own problems, his own scars from his ordeal.  Up until now there was something more important than himself to focus on.  They had to save Dean, then they had to help get Dean better but now, with Dean being let out and Castiel pretty much taking sole responsibility for caring for him it left Sam with little else to do but ponder on what this tragedy had cost him.  He wanted to speak to his brother about everything, he wanted them to start again with their therapy sessions with each other.  But how could Sam load all of his issues onto his brother when his brother couldn’t even speak to try and share his load.  It would be selfish and wrong to try and do that to Dean.  Sam cared too much to let that happen.  Instead he tried to find something else to focus on, he would find a cause and keep fighting.  He decided there and then he would make sure all of the Alphas would be released and receive all the necessary care that they required.  He would contact Ash and Charlie, track down Alphas and make sure they were ok, they could make sure there were no other Deans in the world.  When he broke the news to Castiel, he was less than impressed.

 

“You’re leaving?  Dean is actually getting discharged and you are leaving?!”  Castiel was incredulous and couldn’t believe Sam would be so selfish to do this to Dean, Dean was going to need everyone’s support to get through his trauma.

 

“Look Castiel.  I know how it looks.  But, I’m actually doing this _for_ Dean.  If I’m not around he can’t worry too much about me, which he will.”

 

“Well of course he’s going to worry about you he’s your brother.  You can help each other out.  You’ve been through a lot too and I just think...”

 

“I have been through a lot yes, and I do have to deal with it.  I know but right now the person I normally go to with this crap isn’t well enough.  I can’t make him listen to me whilst he’s silently struggling with his own battles.  I’ll stow my crap for a while and I’ll come back so we can help each other again just like we did before.  Besides, he has you now,  he wouldn’t want to be smothered with so many people at Bobby’s.”

 

“I guess.  What are you going to tell Dean?”  Castiel’s rolled his eyes at Sam’s expression.  “You’re not even going to tell him!”

 

“He’ll just make me stay and I can’t. Please Castiel, just tell him the truth.  He’ll understand eventually.”

 

Castiel watched worriedly as the younger Winchester brother walked away down the corridor and out of the hospital.  He couldn’t help but feel he might be the one to have to break the news to Dean that Sam had left and, even if it was for a good reason, he thought Dean wouldn’t take it very well.

 

The next day was a difficult day.  The nurses came in and stated they would need to change the dressing’s on Dean’s chest.  When all he could do was look confused, the nurses pulled the hospital gown to show soft dressings plastered across his front.  He wondered why he didn’t feel them but figured the pain killers he was on maybe helped whatever was under there.  He vaguely remembered sharp stabbing pain, sickening, claiming words spoken to him.  The memory made him squirm and shiver.   The nurses busied themselves peeling the coverings away, Dean’s morbid curiosity had him looking at the reflection in Cas’ phone, which he had left on the table.  The name carved into his flesh was instantly recognisable to Dean.  The angry red slashed marked him clearly, as he was a branded piece of livestock.  It made him want to throw up there and there.  Again the world seemed to spin and his breathing was ragged and quick. 

 

Despite the morning’s set back, Dean was declared medically fit enough to be discharged to Bobby’s house.  Dean really couldn’t wait to leave the hospital he had been stuck in but at the same time he was scared of what the outside world would bring.  He had seen Bobby a couple of times, the older man had been enraged by his father’s actions and swore a lot that first time, which had made Dean nervous and was seriously rethinking living at Bobby’s for a while, the second time Bobby was much calmer and apologised for his behaviour. 

 

“I’m sorry I snapped the other day boy, I just can’t get over what a jackass your dad was to you.  I mean I know what he was like before but this...” 

 

Dean gave a resigned smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, as if acknowledging that fact.  Castiel broke the quickly becoming awkward silence that followed, “Dean, Bobby has the house all ready for you to stay,”

 

Bobby took the hint and changed the subject, his thick south Dakota accent drawling, “Errr yeah, I got the sofa bed set up down stairs so you don’ gotta do the stairs to use the can.  There’s still some steps at the porch, could probably get a ramp made...  Would be easier to navigate the wheelchair.”

 

Dean snapped his head up and frowned up at Castiel, Dean had made his feelings about the damn wheelchair perfectly clear. 

 

“Bobby,”  Castiel caught the tone of Dean’s expression and wanted to save the older man from the tantrum Dean had thrown when the nurses tried to get him into one, “Dean doesn’t want a wheelchair, I am led to believe he would prefer the crutches for now.”

 

“Oh sure, cos hopping about everywhere all the damn time makes sense.  If I was put in a wheelchair I wouldn’t see the issue with it at all, could be quiet nice!”  Bobby tried to lift the mood of the room, the questioning stares told him the couple could see right through him, he would probably have a similar reaction to Dean regarding a wheelchair.

 

“It’s Dean’s choice and he seems ok with it.”  Dean smiled and glanced at Cas from under his long lashes.  It was like Castiel knew what was going on in his head even though he could barely make sense of it himself.  It was important for him that people respect his choices and Cas did.

 

“Well then it’s fine with me too boy.”  Dean realised Bobby sounded more like a father in the last could of days than John Winchester had ever been. 

 

                Dean just wished he could make himself talk.  He wished he could even just utter a word.  Again it had come down to choice,  he felt he had built a dam around himself, it was safe and secure and nothing bad had happened since he had chosen not to speak.  The lack of words was now comforting and the thought of speaking would mean the dam would be broken, unwelcome feelings would flood him, unwelcome memories and words.  He wouldn’t have to admit to the love of his life that he had given up, that he wanted to die so badly that he wept when that choice was taken from him.   It was far easier to keep himself hidden behind a wall of silence, but he knew he was going to have to brave that storm.  He just wished he had the strength to do it.  He hoped that his mental health would heal as well as his body had.

 

                Bobby pulled up to his house, the scrap yard surrounding it seemed alien and foreign to Dean.  It felt like working here with Rufus and Bobby happened in a different life.  He supposed it was a different life.  He was happy then he had hopes and dreams.  But now he was an empty shell of everything he once was, except now he had Cas and that would be key to getting back to the man who used to work here.

 

                “Mi casa es su casa. Maybe you want to just go upstairs. TV's broken, but there's plenty of Reader's Digest.”

 

                “Thanks Bobby, Dean are you sure you don’t just want to sleep on the sofa bed?”  Castiel rolled his eyes as Dean determinedly made for the stairs and up to one of the spare rooms.  He followed the clunk-thump of the crutches and put Dean’s duffel bag on the bed.  “I guess I’ll stay just across the hall.  Just be careful ok?  Come get me if you need any help.”  Castiel really wished he could sleep in Dean’s room without making the Alpha uncomfortable but it didn’t seem that was going to happen.  He was thrilled that Dean was getting stronger every day, doing a little more, he could see more emotion and attitude starting to colour Dean’s actions.  It made him hopeful his Alpha would be back quicker than he thought.  Then there were times like right now, where Dean had just forced himself up the stairs but now was without purpose, he looked around the room helplessly as if unable to decide what to do with himself.  He looked so lost that Castiel just wanted to scream and erase all of the painful memories from Dean’s brain.  He didn’t want to tell Dean what to do but he tried to suggest things helpfully, “Bobby’s heating some chicken soup downstairs, maybe we could see if his cornbread is all he’s made it out to be?”

 

                Dean furrowed his brow and nodded, he needed to figure out how to plan stuff better, he was so hell bent on getting upstairs to show everyone he could do it, he hadn’t realised there was actually nothing to do up here and the toilet was downstairs and he was hungry and getting downstairs again seemed like an effort.  He was about to make his way back downstairs when Castiel stopped him, “Or I could just bring us a tray up here?  Which would you like Dean?”  Dean smiled shyly and headed to the big double bed and slumped down on top of it.  Castiel seemed to be able to read his mind.  It made him nervous for someone to know him so intimately and so fully, even Sam hadn’t known his as well as Cas seemed to.  At the same time it made some dormant Alpha instincts warm to know his Omega was caring for him, the same ones that made him ashamed that he couldn’t provide and support for him.

 

 The couple shared dinner together on Dean’s bed, a gap between them that was only centimetres but for both the men it felt like a vast expanse.  Cas didn’t dare to instigate any contact for fear of Dean freezing up and having a panic attack, Dean not wanting to touch Castiel in case the scent became too much and he would have to pull away, a couple of times they had accidently touched and Dean couldn’t help but notice the hurt look in Cas’ eyes when he recoiled away.

 

They lay next to one another silently, Castiel could tell Dean was becoming agitated about something, the Alpha seemed impatient, as if waiting for someone.  Castiel remembered what he had stopped for just before he brought Dean out of hospital.  He slowly made his way to his duffel and pulled out a notebook and a pen.  “I dunno how much you want to communicate, but for when you do, you could maybe use this?”  He placed it on the bed beside Dean and watched as he grabbed up the objects and scrawled over the first page is simply said:

 

‘SAM?’

 

Castiel really hoped Dean wouldn’t ask about his brother.  As soon as Sam knew Dean was getting out of hospital Sam had said something about leaving, working with activists groups to ensure all the Alphas were being freed, he was going to join up with Ash and Charlie again to make sure all the facilities were shut down.  He really didn’t thank the other Winchester for leaving him to deal with breaking the news to Dean.

 

“Sam went to meet up with some of the people that helped us get you free.  He’s going to make sure all the other Alphas are safe and receiving the care they need.  He said that he will come back soon.  He said it was best for you that he come back when you’re ready to talk cos that’s how you helped each other last time.”

 

Dean nodded but glowered at the ceiling.  Sam was running from his feelings, he did the same after the war.  Dean was the one that made them both talk openly about their ordeals.  Sam was just waiting for Dean to be strong enough, to be the bigger brother.  Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about it.  On one hand he wanted to kick his brother’s ass for leaving without even saying goodbye, but, on the other hand, Sam was always one to do things his own way and if that’s what he needed to do, Dean would respect his brother’s choice.


	39. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
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> Major fluff reporting for duty!!! :D (yeeeey)

 

Dean hobbled out of Bobby’s house with his crutches and into the scrap yard.  He looked at to the stars and took in the beauty.  It felt like he hadn’t seen the stars for years but he supposed it had only been a couple of months.  Shakily, he started to meander through the scrapped cars until he found what he was looking for.  His dad’s old 1967 Chevrolet Impala.  His dad had sold it to Bobby for scrap when Dean was younger, much to his outrage.  He had longed for the car back since but never had enough money to rebuild it back to its former beauty.  He ran a hand over the paintwork with a fond thought of ‘Hey baby.’  With what energy he could he pulled himself up so he was sitting on the bonnet of the car, leaning against the windscreen.

 

He hadn’t fully recovered from his ordeal, the doctors said that the fracture was healing ok because of the ‘bed rest’ he was on, but he would need some serious physical therapy when the cast came off, his muscles were still very weak but were strengthening slowly, he was managing to do a little bit more every day.  Similarly, he was finding he could manage to eat a little bit more too.  His jeans didn’t feel as loose anymore, the constant use of his arms with his crutches meant his t-shirts were filling out more now too.  If only his head could be fixed as easily.

 

There were two words that have been whirring around his head since he had last seen Alistair. ‘Broken,’ ‘used.’ The violent slashes across his chest had settled to angry pink scars.  Looking more like a claiming mark every day.  Dean couldn’t look at them and was careful to make sure no one else ever did.  He could barely look at anyone in the face since he had been rescued.  Surely everyone knows he had given up?  Surely everyone knows how weak he was, how he stopped fighting his restraints when the carers came to wheel him into the Mating room.  Surely they knew that when he was being raped he would just lie there and let it happen, letting his mind detach from his body, accepting what was happening to him.  Only now that he was free did his mind retaliate.  He couldn’t sleep more than a couple hours before he was thrashing around the bed, waking up screaming.  His leg throbbing in pain at the unwanted movement.  That’s what had brought Dean outside, he couldn’t face lying down any longer tonight.  He had done nothing but be horizontal for the last three weeks, instead he sat up against the car, looking at the stars.  As he watched them flicker like precious jewels, his thoughts turned to the man with the sapphire eyes.

 

Castiel had been there when he was pulled from the facility.  Dean could still envisage the horror struck, pained look on his Mate’s face.  Dean had put it there, again he had failed as an Alpha.  Part of him wanted nothing more than to have the comfort that his Mate could provide.  He wanted to snuggle up to Cas, scenting every inch of him.  The other half wanted to run away from Cas’ scent, run from the torture of the past and just let it his life, he could survive in his shell.  The same part felt he should let Cas go, to find a Beta who wasn’t fifty shades of fucked up.  He wanted a happy life for Cas, one with lots of little Mini Castiels.  At the moment, Dean couldn’t see how he could provide that for his Omega, and it made him feel worthless.  What use was an Alpha when he couldn’t meet his Omega’s needs.

 

Dean sneered at himself, how can he even call himself an Alpha.   He can’t even bring himself to talk to anyone.  He was so terrified that if he uttered even one word to anyone about what he went through he would start screaming, crying, he would definitely end up in some kind of institution.  No.  Dean thought it best to keep quiet.  Again, Castiel would look at him with pure love and devotion and Dean wanted to _tell_ the man how much he loved him  he wanted to shout it from the roof tops as loud as he could.   He wanted to say how sorry he was and how much he wished he was strong enough to fight harder.  He had written his thoughts down in pen and paper a few times but the words escaped him and soon Cas would be sure to give up and leave him, despite his spiel earlier, just like everyone else in his life.  Sam had left as well now, probably bored of his pathetic existence and his reliance on others.  Dean really couldn’t blame him. Dean knew his thoughts were turning toxic in his head but he couldn’t dig himself out, the thoughts turned more destructive and he wondered who would really miss him if he was still in that facility.

 

The sound of someone leaving the house woke Castiel up. The clunk and thumping suggested it was Dean, determined to get about himself with his crutches.  Cas had been sleeping in an old spare room, alone whilst Dean had been sleeping just down the hall.  Castiel wanted nothing more than to have his Alpha lying next to him.  He ached for the shared support that they might be able to provide for each other.  Cas also wanted to be there for his Alpha, to help him heal and to help him rediscover himself.  Dean hadn’t uttered a single word since he had first saw him and whispered his name.  The expressions on Dean’s face were loud enough to communicate his feelings.

 

Firstly, there was always a general look of loss on his face.  He was mourning the loss of what his life used to mean, mourning the loss of his brother’s potential life.  There would also often be a look of shame, anytime Dean looked at him there would be at least a flash of shame, as if what happened to him was his fault, as if he could have stopped it somehow.  Sometimes there was anger, when Dean couldn’t decide on what to do, or if someone asked him too many questions, or asked him something that wasn’t a yes or no question, he would slam his fist on the nearest object and storm away.  Once in a while that Dean looked almost childlike, he would make himself as small as possible, looking off into the distance.  Castiel had no idea what Dean was thinking then, he could only hope the thoughts were pleasant enough to provide a distraction from Dean’s constant pain.  Then, the most heartbreaking of all, was the odd occasion when Dean would look at Castiel.  Dean looked hopeless, distraught, shameful and angry all in one look.  A millisecond later Dean had a worrying look of resolve, Cas theorised that Dean would one day try to send him away, try to make him find someone else and build a ‘normal’ life.  He was determined he would break Dean out of the internal prison he had built himself before he could do such a thing.  He had already declared his love for Dean and, in that hospital, Dean had accepted his help.

 

Castiel wanted to build a life with Dean, but first he had to rebuild his Dean, the one who he caught a glimpse of in _that_ shower.  The one that had looked at him with such trust, hope, love an respect.  With that thought Castiel shoved on some jeans and a jumper he found in Dean’s wardrobe, his slacks were the last thing he wanted to put on now.  He padded down the stairs and shoved his feet into his boots at the door and headed out in search of his Alpha.

 

It didn’t take him long to find the silhouette of Dean, propped up onto a car bonnet, leaning on the windscreen.  Dean was looking up towards the sky.  Castiel gently coughed to announce his arrival, he didn’t want Dean to think he was spying.  “Hey Dean, you mind if I join you?”  Dean had a surprised look on his face, full of questions, none of which he chose to voice.  Instead he shook his head scooted to the furthest side of the bonnet.  Cas took this as a promising sign and sat beside the Alpha, being careful not to touch him, but leaving his hand strategically open in invitation for Dean to touch if or when he felt comfortable.  He knew that Dean had seen this as he was staring at Cas’ hand as if it was away to bite him but didn’t move away.  Instead Castiel looked up to the sky, trying to think of something meaningful to say.

 

“You know, I get why people think the stars can be linked to look like shapes in the sky.”  Castiel kicked himself, how stupid did he sound right now.  However, he had accomplished in getting Dean to look at him, Cas could see his Alpha looking at him with a puzzled, slightly irritated look.  The Omega didn’t fully turn to look at Dean, instead he continued.  “I think it’s a sign of human’s strength that we can at least try to make sense for the chaos and apparent disorder of something as massive as the universe.”  Dean had turned up towards the sky again, his eyes searching the sky.  Castiel took his time to think about what he was going to say next, “At first, when you look up there, it all looks meaningless, confusing, chaotic and without meaning.  But once you start to make sense of a few small things, like an important star, a few constellations, you can make sense of a lot of things and do things with it, like the sailors using the north star to navigate.  From there, they built on it.”  Castiel looked at Dean who, after a deep breath, returned his gaze, “all I’m saying is that, the same goes for you, even the most complicated things can make sense, and I’ll be here, helping as much as I can.  I’m not going anywhere.  My life is here with you now, as long as you want me back.”

 

Dean could feel the tears starting to sting his eyes.  He got what Cas was trying to say, in his own roundabout way.  Dean needed to start small, to make sense of a couple of things, he needed to find his north star.  As he stared into his Omega’s eyes, he realised he had already found it.  Castiel was here, right freaking here, pointing him in the right direction.  Dean felt like he had been set free, even more so than when he was rescued from the facility.  He had a moment of epiphany, whilst what happened to him was inexcusable, was wrong on so many levels, it had brought his Omega into his life.  Now he could either choose to drown in this ocean of despair he had created for himself or he could steer himself back to where he wanted to be, back to a life that had meaning, back to his brother, back to Castiel.  It was _his_ choice.  _He_ needed to choose right here, right now, if he was going to let this destroy him.  He was standing at the crossroads and, instead of looking in all directions aimlessly, he had his guide, he had his north star.  It was Castiel and Dean gladly followed the path towards his Cas.  He slid his hand into Cas’ gripping tightly, just to double check he wasn’t dreaming, his voice came out shaky and gruff from lack of use, “Thank you.”  To emphasize the point he shifted closer to the smaller man until the lengths of their legs were touching, Dean then wrapped one arm around Cas’ shoulders, allowing him to use his chest as a pillow.  The Alpha inhaled deeply and let his Omegas scent wash over him, flood his senses.  It was a sweet and perfect smell for Dean.  The small corner of his brain that wanted to freak out and run away was quiet.  It was controllable and Dean was glad of it.  He took in giant lungfuls of Omega scent and savoured every drop.

 

Castiel was on the very verge of tears.  He wanted to rejoice, scream and shout, he had managed to get through to Dean and those two, broken sounding words were the most beautiful Cas had ever heard.  He managed to hold himself together and contented himself with Dean’s efforts to get closer to him, cuddling into him.  A wave of pleasure washed over him when he felt Dean inhale his scent, they were where they belonged, in each other’s arms, at long last.


	40. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) kudos :)

Dean hobbled his way grumpily from the hospital entrance, Castiel following behind looking concerned.  Dean had just had a review with the orthopaedic surgeon and the Physical Therapist.  The surgeon happily stated once the cast was removed he would be able to put as much weight as he liked though his dud leg.  Dean was relieved, one step towards normalcy and trying to put the whole horror story behind him.  He had the cast removed in a room by a technician before heading to the Physical Therapy gym.  That’s where Dean found out his leg wasn’t able to support him enough to walk without his hated crutches.  Dean silently fumed, his stupid leg.  Jodie, the Physical Therapist was very understanding of Dean’s frustrations, and explained it was normal for a fractured leg to require a lot of rehabilitation, she sat and explained the fracture, the various muscles that were affected and how that matched up with Dean’s problems.  Dean took in everything she was saying and nodded or shook his head in response to simple questions, he still couldn’t make himself talk to strangers, he still wasn’t sure he could hold himself together enough. 

 

Dean watched the Therapist move around the room, he liked the short haired woman.  She didn’t look at him with pity, even though he was sure she knew his sordid history, she didn’t even look like she was trying to hide her pity.  She spoke with understanding but spoke with a firmness and authority that surprised Dean, she was pushy for a Beta.  “Dean, as well the walking and the exercises, I would like you to have a think about some goals you would like to achieve.”  When Dean raised his eye brown in question, Jodie smiled and explained further, “You haven’t been walking properly for a long time Dean, you need to learn to walk again, you can’t start a new skill and expect it to be perfect after a couple of days, so I ask my patient’s to set _realistic_ goals, for one week, one month and three month’s time, that way you can track your progress.  You need to start from brick one and build on it.  Do you understand Dean?”

 

Dean nodded his confirmation, Jodie stood and allowed them to leave, making an appointment for a few weeks time with the receptionist, Dean was still frustrated with his lack of progress, so he hobbled with his crutches out of the doors to the hospital, potentially looking like a petulant child.  He was pulled from his internal grumbling by Castiel.  “Do you wanna wait here?  The car’s at the other end of the parking lot.”  The Omega was gesturing to a bench sat in front of a rock garden next to the entrance.

 

“Yeah, kin’a tired, thanks Cas.”  He was making slight progress with his talking when it came to Castiel, on a good day he could hold a small conversation, when he was tired, like now, he could still manage a few words.  He pondered on what the Physical Therapist had said to him, setting goals, building from brick one.  It resonated with Dean, at the moment his life had no aim, he was just trying to be better but had no way to measure it.  He decided he would extend the advice to his talking too, he missed talking to his brother, he missed the hearty banter with Bobby and Rufus, he wanted to shower Castiel with constant praise for hours on end.

 

When they arrived back at Bobby’s house, Dean realised quickly he would be able to have a proper shower without having a bin bag wrapped around his cast, he would have to be careful but he reckoned he could do it, with help from the rail Bobby had nailed into the shower wall to help him balance.  He got out of Cas’ ugly ass beige car and made his way straight for the bathroom, he looked back to see Cas following his movements with his eyes.  “Shower.” Was all Dean managed as explanation.

 

“Oh, ok do you want a hand?”  Cas enjoyed showering Dean, it filled him with the basic pleasure of making his Mate comfortable and happy.  Cas schooled his disappointment when he saw the hesitation in Dean’s eyes.  “You want some time to yourself, that’s ok Dean, just shout if you need me?”  Castiel waited until he heard the heavy clumsy movements in the shower before following his True Mate towards the bathroom, he hovered nervously outside, praying the Alpha didn’t fall and hurt himself.

 

Dean smiled at his small achievement, he was upright, in the shower.  Ok so he might be gripping on for dear life on the hand rail but it was a step up from having to sit awkwardly with the casted leg dangled out of the bath with a bin liner wrapped around it.  Dean had a small amount of weight through his bad leg, it felt odd, the water felt hotter where his skin had been covered for the last six weeks, the area was hypersensitive.  It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, just odd.  He realised the shampoo and body gel was at the other end of the tub where he normally sat, Dean couldn’t reach across, his leg wouldn’t have supported him.  He swore out loud at his predicament, instead he settled for leaning against the wall, still firmly holding onto the bar, and allowing the water to wash over him. 

 

His skin from under the cast was still sullied from the facility and Alistair’s touch, the water felt like it was scalding the sensitive skin, cleansing the memories of his torture.  He wanted to really scrub that leg, he should have accepted Cas’ help.  He liked shower time with Cas, it was one of the few places Dean felt relaxed enough, where the two of them could be Alpha and Omega.  Dean loved the way that now, Cas would climb in with him and spend time methodically lathering Dean in gel, massaging all his tense muscles.  Dean fell apart under the ministrations, he never felt he would enjoy being looked after by his Omega like this.   It was huge progress as he allowed himself to be touched by an Omega.  He in turn would do what he could with Castiel, lathering the Omega and touching everywhere he could reach.  He longed to do more, his erections were not easily missed but as soon as Cas saw it, Dean would have to control his panic as the arousal quickly subsided.  He was about to shout out for his Omega when there was a knock at the door.

  
                “Dean, it’s just me, um, I could smell you, um, can I come in?”  Castiel was still unsure when Dean would trigger and have a panic attack but generally, the shower was a safe place and the place there they had been closest since Dean’s rescue.  He smelt Dean’s mild arousal from outside the door, Castiel wasn’t going to push Dean but any opportunity to touch, smell and taste his Alpha so freely had to be taken.

 

“Yeah, I can’t reach the stuff.”  Dena looked longingly at the gel and shampoo, Castiel quickly undressed and stepped into the spray with Dean, being careful not to slip and take them both out.  He met his Alpha’s gaze through his eyelashes, as usual, he waited for Dean to make the first move, they stood under the water, simply staring into each other’s eyes.  Cas smiled and made no move to break the connection, it was a gesture that was worth more than a thousand words.  He leaned gently into the palm that was gently caressing his cheek, keeping his gaze fully fixed on the beautiful green eyes in front of him. 

 

After long minutes of silent staring Dean gently guided the Omega’s closer and kissed him so gently it was as if he was made of the finest most fragile glass.  It was enough that Cas was whimpering with pleasure.  Dean was smiling behind the kiss, making Cas’ heart give a deep squeeze of emotion.  He savoured the feeling and taste of the smile and filed it away as a grand memory on a dark day.  He pulled away and took a mental photograph, there was a peek at what their life would be like, once Dean recovered more.  It would be so effortless, it would be so right.  Castiel was glad the shower could hide the tears running down his cheeks, they were happy tears, rejoicing every little new bit of emotion Dean displayed.  Every day was a stepping stone, Dean would overcome this and they would emerge as a galvanised couple.  When the water started turning tepid, Cas reached to the gel and worked Dean over, cleansing every inch, being extra gentle around the injured leg.  Dean moaned when Cas massaged his scalp with shampoo, by the time they were finished the water was running cold, making them both shiver and glad to get out of the shower.  Dean had to get help out of the bath, his muscles so weak from lack of use.  There was a visible difference between his thighs. The Alpha was towelled dry by the Omega before he slung the towel around his hips and, using all his strength, helped Dean limp back to their bedroom. 

 

Dean gestured towards the bed, Castiel assisted his Alpha to sit at the edge of the bed, Dean was still nervous about being on his back, having spent so much time horizontal, especially in the presence of Omegas.  Dean managed to get dressed finally getting a normal pair of sweatpants over his legs.  He pulled on the shirt Cas had laid out for him on the bed.  He pulled himself back onto the bed so he was sitting upright against the headrest.  Dean reached for his notepad and pen from the end table.  Castiel watched with interest as he fussed about the room putting things away and gathering laundry.  He adored the intense look of concentration on Dean’s face.  He wondered what the Alpha could possibly be thinking about that required such deep thought. 

 

This was harder than he thought it would be, Dean thought.  He was inspired by the Physical Therapist and emboldened by Cas’ care and affection.  His Omega was perfect, so patient and allowed him to set the pace, even if it was snail’s pace.  Dean was slowly taking back control of his own body and his own emotions bit by bit, building on that brick number one.  Dean smiled as he pondered on the list of goals he wanted to achieve.  He settled for a couple for each milestone, he jotted them down two goals for next week, two goals for a month’s time and two goals for six month’s time.  He noted each milestone on different pages so he could add weekly and monthly goals as he went along.  He closed the notebook and set it back onto the end table.  These were his goals, no one else’s.  He wanted to do this himself, he didn’t want anyone to say his goals were stupid, or pointless or unrealistic.  They were important to him and he would achieve .

 

Castiel noted that Dean didn’t offer to share what he had noted down, Cas was alright with it, it was his idea to give Dean a notepad to write everything down, with a hope that, in time Dean would let him see everything, when Dean was ready.  The Omega wanted to see what truths were held in the pages.  He’d seen Dean sketching in it, as well as writing.  He had no idea Dean was creative.  Jade green eyes boring into him caused Castiel to be pulled from his thoughts, they were becoming tired, eyelids heavy with fatigue. “That was a tiring day, I could use a nap.  You?”  The Omega asked, when Dean nodded Castiel was about to leave the Alpha to his rest when the emerald eyes pinned him in place.  They were unsure but held a glimmer of something Castiel couldn’t quite describe,

 

 “Stay?”  Dean absently patted the bed beside him.

 

“If you’re sure Dean?”  When Dean nodded his confirmation, the Omega smiled and went to sit next to his True Mate.  Dean was still staring at him as he sat against the head rest.  Cas was bone tired too, every time they went to the hospital for various appointments it always wiped them both out, Cas trying to remember everything anyone said.

 

Dean slid down the bed and got himself comfortable of his side facing Cas.  He tugged at Cas’ T-shirt, belatedly realising it was actually one of his own, until Cas wiggled down until he was facing Dean, face close enough to enjoy the strong scent of his Alpha but not too close to crowd him.  He flung a possessive arm across the Omega’s hips and leaned in as close as he dared and whispered with the softest of whispers, “love you Cas.”

 

“Love you too Dean.”  Cas was convinced Dean was already asleep before he could repeat the words.


	41. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos.
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The smell of eggs and bacon woke Castiel up, he was mildly concerned that the bed next to him was empty, he was still loving the novelty of waking up with his True Mate gently snoring beside him.  It had been six glorious mornings with only one incident involving Castiel having a dream about Dean which led to slick, the scent overpowering Dean and sending him to the corner of the room in fear.  One out of seven seemed pretty good, he just wondered if the reason Dean wasn’t beside him was for a similar reason.  The Omega listened to the sounds of Bobby’s house.  He could recognise the gruff voice of the older man who had taken them in.  He was talking to someone in the kitchen.  The sound of a certain Alpha answering with a couple of words had Castiel out of bed and down the stairs as fast as he could without appearing to be rushing towards the scene.

 

As Castiel turned the corner as nonchalantly as he could muster, the sight that greeted him made him want to leap for joy.  Dean was sitting at the small dining table, coffee cup in hand, turned towards Bobby who was facing the old style cooker with a frying pan filled with breakfast ingredients.  The Green eyed Alpha looked up him and smiled, “Morning, Cas.”

 

“Good morning, Dean.  How are you today?”

 

“M’ good.  Was just telling Bobby ‘bout my plan for today.”  Dean’s words came out a tad rushed but he congratulated himself for the almost normal conversation he was having.

 

“What’s that?”  Cas couldn’t quite get over how much Dean had improved in the last few days specifically, he had heard Dean mutter a few words to Bobby but definitely not holding the conversation he heard whilst he was lying in bed.

 

“M’gonna call Sam.”  This was something Dean knew he had to do today.  It was happening, even if it sent fear pulsing through him.  It was his brother, the brother he had been through so much with, he was nervous that speaking to Sam, who knew _exactly_ what he had been through, would make him slip backwards and regress.

 

“That’s great Dean!”  Castiel didn’t want to seem negative but he was worried that Dean was pushing himself to far too fast.  He just hoped if this was the case It wouldn’t have Dean tail sliding too much.  Castiel leaned down and gave Dean a gentle kiss, tasting the coffee on Dean’s lips.  He noticed there were pancakes and syrup already on the table, wildly erotic pictures flashed through Castiel’s mind about him and Dean enjoying the breakfast items.

 

After breakfast Dean seemed to quieten, letting Castiel and Bobby continue conversations without his input.  Today was his goal day.  it was going to be tough but Dean was confident he could get everything he had planned today.  He mildly regretted not spreading out his workload over the last couple of days but today was his deadline for himself and he would be dammed if he would miss it.  He stood and gathered his crutches and made his way to the door.

 

“Is he ok today?” Castiel watched out of the kitchen window as Dean clunked down the porch steps and raised his head to the early spring time sun. 

 

“He’s up to something.”  Bobby stated simply, “He gets that look ‘bout him when he does something he ain’t supposed to.”

 

“You think I should stop him?”

 

“Pffft yeah?  You and who’s army.  The way I see it, Dean’s just gotta work out his own stuff when he looks like that.  He knows where you are.  If he really needs you he’ll ask help.  You just maybe keep an extra eye on him today, his asking for help ain’t always easy to spot.”

 

“OK, thanks Bobby, for everything, again!”  Dean was pacing along the porch with the two crutches putting enough weight through the injured leg to make his gait look more normal.  It was another huge step forwards with, Castiel knew it was fantastic but he wondered what the price for such fast progress was.

 

After a quick warm up consisting of four lengths of the porch, Dean was ready for his hike to the busted Chevy pickup truck.  He experimented with the weight and the crutches, he was starting to get a bit of pace back, it was very promising and Dean set out on the three hundred meter round trip to said car.  Around three quarters of the way out Dean realised he may have bit more off than he could chew.  His knee was just starting to twinge, Dean figured it was ok, he would phone Sam while he rested for a while and he would head back when his knee settled.

 

The red truck came into view and Dean was never so glad to see a wreck of a car.  He clambered onto the bonnet with a sigh of relief and rested his leg straight out in front of him, it felt hot and aching.  He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pushed the call button for Sam.  It took a few rings before and very unsure sounding Sam answered the phone.

 

On the other side of the country Sam had just finished assisting a fellow Alpha attend their counselling session.  Every Alpha was now free and were getting the help they required.  Sam kept with Charlie and Ash and turned their attentions to supporting the Alphas on the road to recovery.  It just so happened that it kept Sam busy enough to keep his mind from thinking about the one Alpha he had _no_ idea how to help.  Not yet anyway.  He knew he was being cowardly but he just couldn’t bear to see Dean wordless, stripped of everything that made him so _Dean_.  Sam also felt that maybe one less person at Bobby’s fussing over Dean might be better anyway.  Dean hated being looked after for any length of time, although he didn’t seem to mind Cas looking after his every need at the hospital. 

 

When the phone rang in his pocket he was going to ignore it, the session with the other Alpha was intense and Sam wanted to go grab a coffee somewhere, or go for a run or something.  He looked at the name on the screen and took a few seconds to clear his head, gather his thoughts and answer the phone, “Dean?”

 

“Sammy!”  Dean sounded tired, slightly out of breath but the sound of Dean’s voice alone nearly made Sam cry out in relief.

 

“How are you, man?  It’s so good to hear you!”

 

“M’good.  Cas is lookin after me.  Poor guy.  You?”  Sam could hear Dean was forcing the conversation.  It was awkward with short sharp sentences but it was a huge step up from not speaking at all. something was niggling at Sam though.  Despite this he felt there was something more wrong with Dean.

 

“Good.  Are you ok though?  You sound like you’re in  pain or something.” 

 

There was a beep in Dean’s ear that had him pulling the phone away from his ear and looking at the screen.  One percent battery, typical.  He quickly shouted down the phone before the call cut out.  “Fuck!  Sam come home now!”  The line went dead and Dean was tempted to throw the god damned phone into the scrub.  “Shit!”  Dean swore out loud.  That probably didn’t sound great from Sam’s end, now his brother would be worried sick.

 

When the line went dead Sam frantically tried to call back but with no results, it went straight to voicemail.  On his sixth attempt he gave up and called Bobby, “Bobby!  Is Dean ok?!”

 

“Sam?  Um, yeah, he’s fine, he’s outside.”

 

“Where is he?  He just phoned me, he sounded hurt or something!”

 

“Calm down boy.  Dean went for a walk.  He’ll be back in a while.  You talk to him?”

 

“Yeah but then he was swearing and he just shouted that I had to come home NOW!  Then the line went dead.  Bobby I’m really worried.”

 

“Well maybe you should come home then?  Then you can check on Dean yourself?”  


Sam sighed down the line.  It was a low blow but a fair point.  “I will.  Just please phone me when Dean gets back in.”

 

“Sure will Sam, take care.”  Sam hung up the phone feeling only slightly better.  He knew now was the time to go home.  To help Dean, to face his own demons and to deliver news he hoped wouldn’t send Dean back to silence.

 

Dean wasn’t quite ready to head back to the house, his leg was only getting more sore as he rested it.  He sat or another five minutes trying to will the pain away.  He could feel his knee swelling and the stuff the physical Therapist said popped forefront in his brain.  If his knee swelled he had done too much too quick and he needed to ice it.  He climbed down from the car and swore when the movement jostled his knee.  He tried to walk with his crutches back to the house but gave up half way back and hopped his way home.  Progress was painfully slow, Dean wasn’t even sure how long he had been out anymore.  When Bobby’s house was in view he saw a face at the window disappear and the back door swing open, Dean sighed.  He had achieved his goal for the week, just, but he made Cas worry about him.  He could tell Cas was assessing whether to rush over or to stay where he was.  A wave of exhaustion washed over him, suddenly making him feel very grumpy and irritable.  He surely can’t have been away _that_ long.  Sam must have called and worried Cas.  He hobbled his way up the porch steps and past Castiel who held the door open. 

 

He wordlessly stomped upstairs to his bedroom and flopped onto the bed and surrounded himself with the pillows and pulled the comforter over his head, blocking out the afternoon light and just the rest of life in general.  It felt safe and secluded, like no one could bother him here.  The pain in his knee was really starting to bother him again and he cursed his grumpy ass brain for forgetting to pick up an ice pack.  He lay and suffered the pain in exchange for the solitude.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like being looked after, he felt so loved when Cas fussed after him.  He never thought he would like it, but when it was Cas it was just the best thing ever.  It was more he was frustrated that he couldn’t reciprocate yet.  He wanted to look after Cas too.  He thought the cast being removed would start an exponential recovery but so far he was struggling with a damn stroll in Bobby’s lot.

 

With the ice pack in his hand, Castiel climbed the stairs and tried to listen out for any clues to Dean’s state of mind.  When Bobby had told him about Sam’s phone call, he was worried but he knew Dean would come back when he was ready.  When he saw Dean limping back he wanted to help, he wanted to rush over but Dean met his worried gaze with one of grim determination which had him helplessly holding the door whilst Dean took himself upstairs.  Castiel thought he should have gone for a walk with him.  Or he should have checked how far Dean was planning on pushing himself.  He should have said something to Dean at breakfast about doing too much.  He opened the door and tilted his head questioningly when the bed was apparently empty, the bed was all messed up and Castiel was sure he straightened it all out when he got up.  “Dean?”

 

The pile of blankets and pillows spoke, “Not here.”  Castiel heard beyond the words, they were half hearted protests to his presence.

 

“Ok, will he be coming out soon?”  A gentle smile lifted the corner of his mouth.

 

“Nope.”  The p sound popped petulantly from the blankets.

 

“Well, can I come in then?”   Dean got this way when he was emotionally exhausted, almost childlike.  _Almost,_ he would never tell Dean he thought that _._  When Dean lifted the comforter a touch to expose an eye and then opened it further to allow Castiel access to the den of blankets, he looked so damn cute it made Castiel’s heart squeeze with love.  “I brought an ice pack too.”  He said when he was nestled in against Dean’s chest, being spooned from behind.

 

“Thanks Cas.”  The ice pack was taken and Dean shifted himself so he was lying on his back, icepack on his knee.  Castiel let Dean move him until he was cuddling against Dean’s side.  His head pillowed on the Alpha’s shoulder.  They lay there for a long time, in companionable silence. 

 

After a time, Dean muttered, “M’sorry, worried you.  Shouldn’t have.”  He was so tired but found himself unable to sleep. 

 

“It’s ok Dean.  There’s nothing to apologise for.  You don’t have to talk either if you’re too tired to. I understand.”

 

Dean reached for the notepad sitting on the nightstand.  He opened the den of blankets to allow a little light to allow Cas to read the goals he had achieved that day.  He watched Cas as he smiled and reached up to give Dean a loving kiss on his lips.  “You are doing so well Dean.  I’m proud of you.  Maybe for your next goals you could spread them out a bit more?  Remember what Jodie said about pacing?”  Dean remembered the Therapist’s words.  He nodded in confirmation and returned the kiss.  He settled down and let the warmth of scent of Cas settle him into a sound sleep.


	42. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> recent flurry of comments and Kudos, thanks very much!

The television was on in the back ground whilst Cas supervised Dean making breakfast.  As it turned out Cas was a terrible cook and, given the opportunity, would set Bobby’s house on fire trying to boil an egg.  As a result, as soon as Dean could manage with one crutch without his knee swelling like a balloon, he had taken over Cas’ culinary duties.  He found he could get about the kitchen easily enough with the help of the worktop in the place of a crutch.  He very much enjoyed not being tethered to the clunky metal poles for a short time and seriously Cas’ cooking sucked. Every time he made his Omega groan and compliment his pancakes or his waffles, he filled with confidence and pride.  _This_ was what it was supposed to like, symbiosis, looking after each other.  Cas tidied up after them both because, Dean thought, who has the energy to pick up socks off the floor? And Dean would make sure they didn’t die of food poisoning or starvation.  It was a perfect set up.

 

It had just been a couple of days since Dean had had his incident involving the damn rust bucket pick up in Bobby’s yard and Dean made a point of completing that walk the next day and found it much easier.  He had already gone out before breakfast and today he felt like it was almost _too_ easy and he was keen to move onto his next target.  In the house he ditched one of the crutches and was relieved that his knee didn’t punish him by swelling.  Sam had promised that he was going to make his way to Bobby’s but since he was in California and had bought a car it may take a few days to make the trip.  Sam returning was a big deal to Dean, he had had mixed feelings about his brother’s departure and he had a list of things he needed to talk to Sam about.  It was written in the notebook.  He had to chew Sam out for leaving in the first place, then ask what grieving he had done for Jess, then, depending on the answer, chew him out for not giving Jess proper grieving time, then he would start talking about their ordeals.  Like they did after the war.  He really needed to talk to someone who knew what it was to be used the way he was.  He needed advice about how to speak to Cas about what he felt about the fact so many other Omegas had used him.  Today was going to be an exhausting day but Dean knew it and had prepared. 

 

“Hey Cas?”  Dean asked as he absently flipped the fifth pancake of the morning.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Sam is probably coming home today.  Me and Him got a lot to talk about, a lot of shit.  Um, I guess I’m probably gonna be tired later.  Could you, you know, kinda just...”  Dean didn’t really know what he wanted from Cas, how could he put into words how much better he felt when Cas was near, for no other reason than that it was just _Cas._   He couldn’t have explained it even before he stopped talking.

 

“I’ll be around all day Dean.  If you need anything you let me know.  We can have snuggle time.”  Cas lightly teased, crossing the kitchen and kissing his Alpha on the cheek.

 

“Don’t need snuggle time, that’s not very manly.  I’m a grown Alpha don’t do stupid snuggling.”  Dean grumbled but couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips.  Dean would never admit it but he loved snuggle time with Cas.

 

“Sorry, I meant manly Alpha, snuggle time.”  Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and pressed his cheek to the other man’s shoulder, taking a breath of Alpha scent.

 

“Love you Cas.”

 

“Love you Dean.”

 

There was a movement at the kitchen door that had the couple separating quickly, “Oh god you guys are too puke inducingly cute.”  Sam was standing there in the door way smiling, dropping his duffle bag on the floor.

 

“Bitch!”

 

“Jerk!”

 

“Shut up and get over here you giant moose.”  Sam crossed the kitchen with a couple huge strides and brothers embraced in a bone crushing hug, Castiel practically had to dive out the way to avoid being tangled into the two giants’ reunion.  “I’m just about to pour the last of this batter, me n Cas are stuffed, you hungry?”

 

“Yeah thanks Dean I’m starved.” Sam grabbed a plate and sat at the kitchen table whilst Dean scraped the last of the batter onto the griddle.

 

“You drive all night?”

 

“Couldn’t sleep so I left early.”  Whilst Sam ate the trio made small talk about what Sam had been up to and his work supporting other Alphas.  It made Dean proud that his brother had gone out and helped so many people.  It made him feel slightly guilty at his selfishness wanting Sam here with him but even as Sam smiled through his stories of hope, Dean could tell Sam was still broken inside, his gaping wounds nowhere close to healed because Sam had refused to acknowledge them.  There were dark bags under his eyes, the man’s skin was sallow even though he had been in Cali for at least a couple days. 

 

Once Sam had finished breakfast and put away three cups of coffee at an alarming rate, Cas made his excuses and set about the house work.  Dean stood and nodded to the door, grabbing his second crutch and headed outside.  They walked in silence for all of two steps before Dean started, “I wish you hadn’t left Sam.”

 

The younger Alpha couldn’t bring himself to look at his brother.  There was a tightness in Sam’s expression.  “I know Dean, but I had to.  It was probably the most selfish thing I have ever done.  I couldn’t sit there and watch you suffer without being able to help you.  It sounds really stupid but it actually reminded me of the war, when we were captured.  When you were being beaten and bloodied there were those few hours I didn’t know if you were alive or dead and I could do nothing to help you then.  The memories just came flooding back and I had to get away.  I ran.  I ran so fast and so far and for that I’m sorry.  I didn’t even stop to think about what you thought of me leaving.”

 

What selfish anger there was in Dean withered almost instantly, “I wanted you here with me, _that_ was probably really selfish of me too.  I just wanted you and Cas all to myself and I guess I was just upset when you left.  I knew you’d be helping people but from what you were telling me n Cas you have been helping _a lot_ of people.  I shouldn’t be so selfish to want to be the only person that you help.  Also I guess I wanted to help you too.”

 

“Yeah.  I guess I was running from that too.”  It didn’t go unnoticed that in the hour that Sam had been at Bobby’s he hadn’t mentioned his Mate once.  Dean steeled himself, this was gonna suck and he wanted to somehow protect Sam against the hurt that a Mate’s death brings.

 

“Sam, Jess died.  You need to mourn her properly, she deserves that.  I won’t tell you that I know hoe that feels, I won’t tell you how to deal with it but please Sam, you need to deal with it.  Otherwise it’s going to kill you.” 

 

The brothers stopped at the black Impala still rusting in the lot, it seemed like a good place for the boys to reconnect.  Dean sat on the bonnet, Sam was standing shifting his weight, he looked up at Dean, tears in his eyes, his expression helpless.  “Every time I think about her, I just see...”  Sam’s voice broke. “I see her face when she fell, I hear the gun shot.  Every time I try to sleep all I see is blood and her face.”

 

“How much are you sleeping Sam?”  Dean remembered back to how bad Sam’s nightmares were after the war and the condition he was in when he tried to refuse sleep.

 

“I haven’t slept in like three days.  You know how they say sleep deprivation can be used as an advanced interrogation technique?  Yeah, it’s torture.”

 

“Sammy.  Did you meet any other Alphas that had their mates killed?”

 

“Yeah, a few.”

 

“What did you do with them?” 

 

Sam took a deep breath to gather his thoughts.  “We went to the cemetery, the Alpha then had the chance to have the proper good bye they had been denied, then we would talk about the good times, we got the Alpha to write it all down and go through photos and make a scrap book kinda thing. Sounds lame but it helped.

 

“Ok, well that all sounds like a good idea to me.”

 

“Will you come too Dean?”

 

“Of course.  You’ll have to drive though.”

 

“Thanks Dean.”  Sam was already starting to feel the crushing despair relent just a touch. Enough that breathing felt easier, he didn’t feel like ripping his hair out at his roots quite as much and he thought his brain held a few less acidic thoughts.  He joked with his brother weakly, “geeze, when did you turn all grown up and mature?”

 

“Shuddup, just cos I’m a hot mess doesn’t mean I can’t help my pain in the ass lil’ bro.”  Dean returned the joke.  The air was clearer between the brothers, they both knew they were going to have to help each other through some serious shit in the next few days and the next few weeks but they brothers were reunited and nothing could beat the brothers, because they were not Losechesters.

 

After a hasty trip to the men’s clothes store, the Winchesters were wearing suits that betrayed the heat of the early summer afternoon.  Sam walked up the hill to where Dean had indicated, he had a bunch of flowers clutched in one hand.  He reached the summit of the small hill in the cemetery and found the headstone he was looking for.  Sam had spent so long pushing his feelings of grief away he found it difficult to punch through the internal dam he had constructed in his mind.  A small part of him felt stupid being here, Jess couldn’t tell he was here, she couldn’t see, hear or touch him, nor him her but he pushed through his initial hesitations.  He addressed the head stone, “You always said roses were lame so I got you uh,” Sam swallowed to collect his thoughts, “I should have protected you.  I’m so sorry.”  He knelt and arranged the flowers against the headstone and found himself staring at the picture of Jess set into the head stone.  The wave of emotion crashed over him and he was powerless to stop it.  He let it consume him, whilst he knelt he let himself sob, he mourned the apple pie life he was destined to have with Jess, he mourned for the pups he would never have, he even mourned the bridge club he and jess wouldn’t be able to attend when they were seventy.  He mourned for Jess and the loss of innocent life, that was the worst part.  Jess didn’t have to die.  He could feel Dean’s presence behind him and drew strength from his brother.  This whole process was long overdue and Sam was so glad he had someone who could push him to face the demons that still threatened to possess him.  He raised a hand to his chest where his anti-possession tattoo sat. 

 

Sam had no idea how long he sat in front of Jess’ grave, he sometimes talked at the stone, reminiscing about how they met, their first dates and how gawky Sam was back then.  Eventually, when he was all wrung out of emotions, when he had no tears left to shed he stood stiffly and turned to his brother who was sitting at a nearby bench.  “Thanks for your help Dean.  I hope you haven’t been up too much on your knee.”

 

“Nah, I’ve been sitting for a while, was good for you to have some privacy.”  Dean’s knee had started to make itself known, especially after the hill climb but happily the commemorative bench was in a perfect place, thank goodness for Cecil’s wife who had it put there in Cecil’s favourite spot, Dean had read on the plaque.

 

“Let’s get back to Bobby’s, I’m wiped.”  Sam helped Dean off the bench and together they headed down towards Sam’s car. 

 

“By the way, at some point remind me to kick your ass for buying this plastic piece of crap.” 

 

“It’s a Prius Dean, they are ecologically conscious.”

 

“Yeah well just you wait till I get that Impala up and running again, my poor baby!”  Sam smiled and rolled his eyes as he climbed into the car.  They drove back to Bobby’s and Sam headed to the couch to pass out for a while.

 

Dean headed upstairs to where the shuffling noise was coming from, he entered the room and found Cas fussing with some washing.  “Hi.”  Was all Dean could manage before a huge yawn erupted from his mouth.

 

“Super manly Alpha snuggle time?”  Cas quickly lifted the pile of clothes off the bed and pulled the comforter down.  He undressed to his boxers and climbed in, holding the comforter open for Dean.  Dean followed suit and took Cas into his arms and scented along his neck.  “How was today?”

 

“Sam has a lot to work through, it’ll be tough but he has us now so...” Dean shrugged some conclusion to that sentence.  The scent of Cas was comforting and right now seemed to be acting as a lullaby and sent Dean to a deep sleep that had him snoring and drooling over Cas’ trapped arm.

 

 


	43. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's point of view on the subject!
> 
> "The blues have wrapped their arms  
> Around me and I can’t make sense of it  
> The blues have wrapped their arms  
> Around me  
> I wish it was you instead"
> 
> 'The Blues' By Architects

The initial couple of days staying at Bobby’s was really tough. Visiting the cemetery had, without a doubt, been the worst day of Sam’s life. Not only did he had to relive the horrific experience in his mind’s eye as he climbed the hill but he also had to face eternity without his Mate, his partner. Life just didn’t feel the same anymore. He could still make a joke, he could still smile but it just felt so hollow, so cold as if he was acting every second of his life. It was exhausting and Sam really was struggling to see a point to anything now. His mind wandered the now familiar path of ending it all. He refused to call it suicide, in his mind he couldn’t kill himself, he was already dead. He’d just be ending his existence . It felt important to him to separate the two. His brother was literally the only reason Sam could find to keep this pathetic excuse of existence going. He was not selfish enough to make Dean hurt more. Although, on reflection, Dean was so deeply in love with Castiel, Sam wondered if he would even be missed. Dean would surely Mate with Castiel soon enough, there would be pups everywhere and Sam would be the extra, the third wheel, an outsider looking in. He didn’t have any marketable skills to get a job, he was barely one term into pre-law when he was abducted, he neither had the drive nor the interest to even try to reinstate his education. He couldn’t fix cars like Dean. He wasn’t handy at all. SO here he was sponging off Bobby’s generosity and feeling like not being around would just be easier on everyone.

Sam was very close to leaving again, except this time he thought about finding the nearest bridge and leaping off it. After he and Dean got back from the graveyard that first day, Sam had passed out on the couch for what seemed like hours but was woken up when he landed on the floor, soon enough there was Castiel and Bobby looking down at him, eventually joined by a very worried looking Dean. They had informed him he had been shouting in his sleep and had thrown himself off the damn couch. That made him feel like shit for the rest of the day, even whilst unconscious he was a broken man, unable to pull himself together .

Sleeping was hell and, sometimes, being awake was even worse. He watched Dean become the happy go lucky smart ass Sam knew he should have become much sooner if it wasn’t for John Winchester. His older brother had not only regained his old personality, it was as if the best bits were emphasised and thrived and the nervous, anxious, self-loathing parts were trimmed back, still there but kept well under control. Dean was doing so well and Sam just couldn’t help but compare the change he seemed to be going through. In contrast with Dean’s progress Sam had never felt less like an Alpha in his life, he was crippled with self-doubt self-loathing and helplessness. The worst part, the bit that made Sam sick with himself was the envy he had for Dean and Castiel. The first time felt the pang of jealousy he was shocked and disgusted himself. After a few days of festering, every time he saw a display of affection it made Sam just want to punch a wall.

It was yet another late spring South Dakota afternoon and Dean was off practising his walking with fervour. He was walking outside with one crutch and he was aiming for some piece of crap car somewhere in the lot. Sam was sitting outside half reading a book, half lost inside his own head with his acidic thoughts. He heard the door open and looked up and saw Castiel walk towards him with what looked like a pitcher of lemonade. Freaking lemonade, it was so domestic it sent another wave of jealousy through him, which in turn turned to shame and guilt. 

The Omega cleared his throat, “Mind if I join you?” Sam shook his head, Castiel set the tray of juice and cups on to the nearby table and pulled up one of the deck chairs, he poured two glasses of lemonade and handed one to Sam. “You can tell me to mind my own business but I think you need to share with Dean how you’re really feeling.”

“Huh?” Sam accepted the glass with a questioning eyebrow, he thought he was at least partly convincing when he was acting fine.

“I won’t insult you and pretend that I know what you’re going through, you and Dean both. And you’ve done so much good work with other Alphas and making sure they are ok. You lost the most important person in your life and from what I hear not many other Alphas had to go through that too. You need to allow yourself to heal. Hell, I think you need to let yourself break down first.”

Sam’s shoulders sagged, Castiel was right but he didn’t know the depth of the problem. “Look, thanks but-“ Sam started

“You want to kill yourself.” The Omega stated almost matter of factly .

“What?! No! I...” Sam’s head dropped to his chest, his shoulder sagged. “How’d you guess?”

“Well, after all you’ve seen, all you’ve been through, I think anyone in your position would be at least considering it. I can’t help but notice the way you clench your fists every time me and Dean touch.” A gentle reassuring smile tugged at Castiel’s mouth, as if showing that he didn’t take it personally .

“I’m sorry, It’s not against you, you are great and you are everything Dean needs and more! It’s just, without Jess, I can’t see any point. I don’t want to meet anyone else, I don’t want to breed with anyone else, I have no skills, I can’t go back to school. Everyone will know everything about what happened. Tell me Castiel, what am I living for.”

“Family?”

“Yeah well at the moment Dean is the only reason I keep going.” It was hard to admit to someone he hadn’t actually known for that long but at the same time, the way the Omega just sat and listened and didn’t judge him or question him, it made him want to offload a little.

“That’s not entirely what I meant. Bobby said something to me when me and Dean first got here. I tried to suggest that we would only be here for a week or so until I got enough money from somewhere to pay for a Motel, you know what he said? He said ‘Family don’t end with blood, son.’” Sam nearly laughed at Castiel’s impression of Bobby. “So although Dean is your only blood relative here, you also have me and Bobby, I’m sure, even Rufus has leant his support in the last couple weeks. We are all here for each other, that means you too.”

“Thanks Cas.” Sam couldn’t help but notice the smile across the other man’s face when he used Dean’s nickname for him. “But soon enough you and Dean will Mate and have pups and, sorry, I’m probably getting ahead of myself dunno if you guys are planning that kinda thing. Basically, I don’t wanna be a third wheel.”

“Hey, third wheels are underrated, they add stability, better grip, enhanced steering.” Castiel smiled and shrugged but turned serious, making sure Sam was looking at him. “Sam, even if me and Dean do have pups, you will be part of our family. Nothing will change that. I already think of you as a brother. You will be an uncle, you’ll be part of a bigger family.” Sam nodded. It was a lot to think about, he wasn’t expecting to suddenly feel a wave of belonging wash over him but Cas’ words didn’t move him as much as he thought they should have. 

“I just feel like I don’t know anything anymore. Who I am, what I should do.”

“Dean doesn’t know this but my mom killed herself.” Castiel said without emotion. 

“Oh. Cas I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, I was just like five months old or something. They think it was post-partum depression but no one knows for sure . My dad was travelling at the time and had no idea. As I grew up I started to ask questions about why Mom killed herself. Of course, none of my brothers knew, they were kids themselves. I kept thinking about Mom, all alone in her world where the only feasible option left was to end her life. I would give anything to be able to talk to her, to let her know that she was loved and that she was part of a family that would fall apart without her. I guess that’s why I’m out here. I’m letting you know that you are loved and this little family would be lost, again, without you. We are all here for you. If you want to talk about anything that you don’t want to talk to Dean about for whatever reason, I’m here.”

This deeper understanding of Cas’ motives changed the whole tone of the conversation. Sam realised how close he was to the edge of the metaphorical bridge. Cas was here talking him down and it worked. He knew Dean would be broken if Sam died, he didn’t think about Bobby or Cas even. He guessed he had become comfortable at Bobby’s. He had found people who loved him, even as the husk of a man he once was.

“Yeah, I’ll try take you up on that offer. Thanks again Cas.”

“Don’t thank me Sam, just talk to me when you need to.” Castiel looked up and his smile widened as Dean approached looking sweaty but victorious. 

“Hey guys. What’s up?” Dean was slightly out of breath, a sheen of sweat over his face. Sam knew he would have to talk more with Dean about what happened, now was as good a time as any.

“Nothin’ me ‘n Cas were just chatting.” Sam turned to Castiel where he was nodding in agreement.

“I gotta go and do more laundy, Dean sit down and rest your knee, there’s lemonade in the pitcher...”

“Alriiiight, stop fussing, geeze.” Sam was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t feel the pang of jealousy. He found the scene in front of him mildly amusing. A small smirk pulled at his mouth until he chuckled as Cas continued to worry over Dean. Dean batted him away with mock impatience but smiled and gave his Omega a peck on the cheek before Cas went inside. Dean turned to him, “Worse than an overbearing mother I tell you!”

“You love it Dean.”

“Yeah I do.” Dean conceded. “So how are you Sam, really?”

“Really, honestly, the last few days have sucked. After the cemetery I felt a tad better but since then I’ve just been feeling like crap, the sleeping is not that much better.”

“Still having nightmares?”

“Yep.”

“Ok. Wanna talk about them?”

“Not really.” Sam had been brutally honest with Cas, and with Dean, he was emotionally wrecked and couldn’t face describing Jess’ death yet again. They sat in companionable silence for ten minutes, Sam processing his scrambled thoughts. It was much easier after he and Cas’ chat earlier. The veil of jealously and guilt and shame had been lifted. “Actually, you know what I wanna do? You might be able to help me. I want to make a scrap book for Jess. Then when I have a nightmare I can look at it and see her, remember what she was like before...”

“Sounds like a good plan. What about the other stuff? The facility...”

“Hmm those nightmares are less frequent. I can kind of separate myself from them now. If I wake up thinking I’m there, I go for a walk, to remind myself that I’m not there, that I can move.”

Dean nodded his understanding. “Sam, I can read your face like a book, you look wiped. I know you and Cas were talking about something. I like that you know you can talk to him about stuff. I won’t ask what it is, I don’t mind. Just do whatever it is you need to do. We are all here for you. Soon we’ll be able to do the walking thing again .”

A small wave of acceptance and belonging passed through Sam, Dean’s words echoed Cas that it rung with a lot of truth. “Then running?” Sam joked weakly.

“Well, um, yeah I think there’s a bakery in town. Need to check if they do bear claws.” Dean looked mockingly thoughtful. Sam rolled his eyes at his brother. Dean smiled and stood up, patted him on the shoulder before going inside. Sam took the moment alone to analyse his feelings. Ok so he still had no Mate, and that still hurt. But he did have a family, it was small and somewhat broken but it was good, yes, still good. That part made him feel so much better. He still had no idea what to do in life but he had a small project with the scrap book that could keep him busy until he came up with something longer term. That was almost too much progress for one day. Sam decided to go inside to the cooler house for a sleep, attempt to process the day’s events.

The next couple of days were filled with Sam thinking of every possible place that photos of Jess could exist. It wasn’t like they took a million photos of each other but Sam remembered there were many fond moments that had goofy selfies of both of them. Like one Halloween where Sam really didn’t want to go out but Jess had convinced him. They had a photo with her in a nurse outfit and him looking fake annoyed and was costumeless. It was those small moments Sam was desperate to cling on to. Sam discussed his plans with Dean and Bobby, mysteriously Bobby managed to produce Sam’s laptop the very next day . 

“Bobby, how did you get my laptop?” Sam raised a questioning eyebrow.

“After everything kicked off, I went to the house to see what was left. Place had been cleared out. Dug a lil bit and the state had collected all your stuff for ‘safekeeping.’ After a little hell raising yesterday they got me the important stuff. I have your old phone too. Bobby produced his smart phone, another source of memories.

“Thanks Bobby.” 

“I think once you get that all set up we should use it during your talks. If you have a nightmare, we counteract that by you talking me through one of those pictures. Then the nightmare is cleared away to make room for a better memory.” Bobby suggested. Sam nodded it was a good idea, he looked to Dean

“Yeah, sure, good idea. Bobby when did you get all in touch with your emotions?” Sam sniggered along with Dean.

“Ah shuddup ya idgits.” Bobby growled. Sam left the house in his car and went straight to the printers in town to get as many of the photos developed. He came back with a huge bundle, it may have been a few too many but Sam couldn’t wait to immerse himself with memories, to remember Jess without having the fear of her scent being used against him. He just wanted to remember her in all her beauty, her grace, they way she could know what Sam was thinking just by glancing at him. He spent the following three days writing things down, sliding photos into pockets in the scrapbook he bought, smiling and crying his way through the task. Once he was finished he stored it carefully away for use when he had nightmares. The process had been very cathartic and with Dean, Cas and Bobby all helping Sam with whatever he needed he was feeling like he belonged more and more. He felt stronger now, not fully back to normal but also not as lost or broken as he was when he came here. There was a couple of things that Sam still needed to address with Dean. One was bad, the other was so unbelievably much worse.

Sam had taken to joining Dean during his walks, they spoke about shared experiences, the shared horrors they both faced. They reached the Impala again and Dean sat on the bonnet as he often did. Sam paced absently around the car. “Sammy stop pacing, your making me dizzy what is it?”

“There’s two things. I’m sorry to spring them both on you but I can’t keep them from you anymore. You need to know. One I’ll tell you here, the other I think it’s best if Cas hears too. It kinda involves him.”

“Ok you’re starting to freak me out!” 

“Ok calm down! Crap. I shouldn’t have done this here. C’mon I’ll tell you on the way back to the house.” His brother looked at him like he was about to lob the crutch at his head but got up and started marching quickly back to the house. “Dad was trying to get in contact with me whilst I was away. I dunno how much you know, he came to the hospital to see you but you weren’t well. He went to the police with a bunch of confidential files to raise the alarm. He was kinda instrumental to getting you out. He’s in prison now, thinks he’ll be in there for the rest of his life. He wants to see you, said something about clearing the air or something.”

“Huh, I knew he was there but I couldn’t- yeah I guess I’ll go see him at some point, I owe him thanks.”

“You don’t owe him anything, Dean. No one would blame you if you didn’t see him. I just thought you should know he was asking after you.” Sam had had one telephone conversation with his estranged father since he was put in prison. Sam had nothing to say to the man and pretty much disowned him as a father there and then over the phone.

“What’s the other thing?” Dean asked.

“Go get Cas, and hell Bobby should probably hear this too.” The next piece of news had the potential to burst the bubble of hope that the four of them had carefully built over the last few weeks, Sam hated himself for having to drop the news but he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, every day that he kept it to himself was putting the others at risk.

Dean thunked around the house and gathered everyone in the living room, suddenly feeling very small with three Alphas in varying degrees of stress, and an Omega who was appraising the scene with his own expression of worry. “So I’m sorry I’ve not mentioned this sooner, I just- I was-“ Sam sighed, lost for words.

“It’s ok boy, you needed to do some healing, you needed time. What is it you need to say?” Bobby’s words soothed Sam.

“Ok, I dunno how much of news you have been watching, I kept a keen eye out when I was away. I had a few contacts in local police departments too. As soon as they got Dean out there was a nationwide search for,” Sam nearly choked on the name, “Alistair. But no one has seen or heard from him since the day before the rescue. He’s still on the loose and the authorities believe he may try to attack Dean again.” Sam lowered his head and wondered what the others were thinking at that second.


	44. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) kudos :)
> 
> Warning for panic attacks n shtuff. :(
> 
> "It's like an avalanche,   
> I feel myself go under,  
> Cos the weight of it's like hand around my neck"
> 
> Avalanche by Bring Me The Horizon

The pit of Dean’s stomach plummeted to his toes. He wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. Alistair wasn’t going to go down without a fight and Dean figured he would probably factor into Alistair’s future plans somehow. The man had a weird obsession that Dean could never hope to understand. Unconsciously he raised his hand to the scars on his chest. It was as if he felt them burning under his skin, like they were reminded Dean of the claim put on him, he was transported back to that cell where he was strapped down, unable to move, wishing for a death that never came. That frightened the hell out of Dean. He felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and suddenly he was gasping for breath.

Castiel nodded along with Sam’s news. He hadn’t been keeping a keen eye on the news but he read the newspaper if it was lying about and he knew that Alistair was still on the run. He didn’t discuss it with Dean yet but had been planning it for a couple of days, he was struggling to come up with a gentle way of relaying the news to his Alpha. He didn’t envy Sam the task of doing it, nor was he angry at Sam for discussing it, it needed to happen and Cas was stalling, as much as he hated to admit it. He was so happy that Dean was making progress he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise that. Castiel looked at Dean and his heart broke all over again. Dean wasn’t in the room, he was sitting right next to his Alpha but it was clear Dean was seeing something no-one else in that room was. Castiel could tell Dean was feeling the raised scars and remembering the horror he was put through by the man they were talking about. He wasn’t sure if his scent would make things worse since Dean was having a panic attack remembering the room they used his scent against his Mate. Castiel looked around the room for inspiration, there was a basket of laundry waiting to go in the machine, Cas raced to the kitchen and threw one of Dean’s plaid shirts over his t-shirt and quickly did up a few buttons. He knelt on the floor in front of where Dean was sitting with his head in his hands, gasping for air. “Dean, it’s ok, it’s Cas. You’re at Bobby’s house. You’re safe. You’re here with me.” Castiel moved a hand tentatively to Dean’s calf, it was only being this close to Dean could you hear what he was whimpering between breaths.

“Please Alistair, just let me die, just let me die, please.” Castiel’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest. The words sank into Cas’ brain and lodged there. It almost physically hurt to hear those words come out of Dean’s mouth.

“Dean, come back to me. Please baby, come back to me. You’re safe. I’m here .” Cas was now working both his hands up and down Dean’s calves, keeping his touches strictly comforting. He was encouraged when Dean didn’t pull away, only to have another stab of pain.

“You killed him, you killed Cas. My Cas. You took my world from me, please just let me die.” The words were muttered so quietly Castiel wasn’t even sure if he heard right. Did Alistair make Dean think he was dead? Was that why he wanted to die? With more determination Castiel gently manipulated Dean’s hands away from his face and rested them on his own shoulders. 

“I’m not dead Dean, I’m right here. Look at me! I’m right here. It’s Castiel, your Cas. Come back to me.” Castiel smiled as wet green eyes finally met his. Their gazes locked together for minutes until Dean’s breaths settled enough to talk.

“Cas?” Dean blinked, his vision was blurred from tears, the salt making his eyes sting. He felt like he had just been hit with a block of cement. The memories of his lowest low still hung heavy in his mind but there was a voice that pulled him back to Earth and raised him from the depths of his broken mind. 

“Right here baby. I’m not going anywhere.” Castiel felt a wave of relief, Dean was coming back, his vision was more focused, breathing more calm. 

Dean looked around the room, Bobby looked impressed but still had a slight worried line to his brow. Sam looked so guilty and upset with himself he was babbling about how he shouldn’t have said anything. Bobby looked at him irritably, “Sam, it’s ok, Dean needed to hear it.” He turned his attention to Dean, “ya did good kid, you came back to us.” Dean just wanted to get away from the other Alphas, he wanted to hold him Omega. Make sure he was real, he wasn’t dead. He looked back to his Omega who was looking at him as if he was reading his mind.

“Shall we go upstairs for a bit?” As Dean nodded his confirmation, Cas stood and helped his Alpha up the stairs to their room. Cas looked out the notepad and pen, setting them out as a choice for Dean to use them if he needed to. 

Dean wanted to make a nest of blankets again and just shut out the whole world, the outside world where Alistair was still after him. However, if he did that, he would have to talk and he was too exhausted to make sense now. As good as his speech was these days, this was a big setback for him and he just couldn’t make himself from the words. Instead, he sat against the head board and started writing.

‘SORRY ’

Castiel sat with just a small distance between them, allowing Dean to close the gap if he wanted to. He watched as Dean scrawled across the page he was already shaking his head when he saw the word emerge. “You have nothing to apologise for. After what you went through panic attacks are highly likely. Like Bobby said, you came back to me, you’re ok.”

It wasn’t what Dean was referring to, he was going to have to talk about this when he wanted to speak again but he felt like he needed to make an attempt now. He used the word from before and added to the line,

‘SORRY FOR WANTING TO DIE. THOT U WERE DEAD.’ 

Dean put the pen down and closed the gap between them quickly, he nuzzled into the Omega’s neck and took in a lungful of Omega scent, only then did he notice that Cas was wearing one of his dirty shirts, the musky scent from yesterdays exertions masked Cas’ sweet scent. He tugged at it until Cas understood and pulled it off. The Omega talked as Dean continued to scent him, “Did Alistair tell you I was dead, that he killed me?” Dean nodded, inhaling again to keep him anchored to Cas. “Oh Dean. I wish there was a way I could have told you he was lying. I’m just so glad you came back to me so quick. I love you.” Dean sighed as Cas planted a kiss in his hair. 

The brief conversation was at an end for the moment and all Dean wanted to do was to explore his Omega, feel as much as he could. He looked deep into those sapphire eyes and leaned forwards to plant a kiss on Cas’ lips. It started soft and gentle, barely touching. Slowly it built with passion and emotion, Cas allowing Dean to explore his mouth with his tongue. Dean pulled away and looked at Cas with a questioning look, checking for permission to continue. Cas smiled at him, his hair was already mussed up more than normal where Dean had run fingers through the dark, thick locks. “Only if you’re sure , Dean.” 

Dean let a throaty growl in affirmation. His instincts were telling him to mark Cas as his. His body was starting to overcome its trauma caused by the forced knots. He could feel need building deep within him. Whilst he wasn’t really to fully Mate with Cas there was something primal within Dean that wanted to claim Cas in some small way. He manoeuvred himself until he was straddling Cas’ thighs, leaning on his hands and bending down to continue his in depth venture into his Omega’s mouth.

There was something very different about making out with Dean. With any Betas Cas had been with he had always made a point of sharing dominance. He was called quirky, a pushy little Omega. With Dean he found himself allowing Dean to be incomplete control of the speed and pace of their encounters. He felt so protected and so loved around Dean it made trust so easy and he allowed himself to be more vulnerable than he had ever been with anyone. The way Dean’s tongue moved around his mouth, the way Dean occasionally ran teeth over his bottom lip, to Cas it was hotter than anything he had experienced in his life. He felt his boxers start to dampen with slick. He wasn’t sure how Dean would react with the more intense scent that his slick produced. He watched Dean’s face closely as he ran his hands over his Alpha’s torso, under his t-shirt. The skin was warm and smooth, Cas would still deny it if asked, a whimper of want escaped his lips into Dean’s mouth. The muscles were firm under his touch, rippling with movement. Cas pushed the shirt higher until Dean reared back to allow the t-shirt to fall to the floor. Cas linked his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled himself into sitting position, scenting along Dean’s neck and shoulder breathing in the whiskey and leather scent that just smelled like home . 

The power that Cas wielded was unbelievable. Dean was here, he was in control right here but all Cas had to do was scent him and his need fired straight up to eleven. Although it was effort to control himself, as well as being emotionally exhausted, it was such a relief that he could feel this way about any Omega in general, Castiel specifically. He was terrified that the forced knots would make him unable to knot ever again or make him unable to even bear to be around an Omega. He should have known that with Cas, his True Mate, the person he was genetically hardwired to be with, there would be no quelling their bond. There would be nothing that would stop them from Mating. Dean pulled Cas’ shirt over his head and smiled at the thorough mess of dark hair, Dean paused and gazed into smiling sapphire eyes. Moments passed and suddenly the gazed turned deeper, more one of need. There were a couple of minutes of a mess with arms and legs and jeans until the couple were next to each other naked kissing and caressing any skin either of them could reach. The smell of Omega slick was intoxicating and Dean couldn’t resist reaching to between Cas’ cheeks and gathering the liquid in his hand, he took his own cock in his slicked hand and groaned at the feeling as he stroked it slowly to start with. Again, he looked at Cas with a look that in one expression asked for his consent. When the Omega nodded yet again Dean gathered Cas’ length with his own and added more slick.

Castiel was completely at Dean’s will in the best possible way. When Dean started stroking their cocks together Cas started frantic attack on Dean’s lips, shamelessly needy. He mewled as Dean’s other hand ran through his hair and grasped firmly, but not painfully. He didn’t think Dean could ever possibly cause him hurt when they were together like this. The need in his gut was building as the speed built with Dean’s hand. 

Dean’s vision blazed with stars as his knot swelled in his hand. White ropes spattered both of their chests and stomachs, closely followed by a second wave as Cas followed Dean over the edge. One of Dean’s thighs was wedged between his Omega’s legs and felt more slick trickle. He couldn’t stop the wide smile spread across his face, even if he wanted to. He lazily stroked at his cock until his knot had receded enough to be comfortable. Cas had watched with part tired daze, part genuine curiosity. Despite the mess, which neither of them could bring themselves to care about, they lay in a tangle of each other’s arms and fell asleep.

When the couple woke up over an hour later, they both wished they had brought themselves to care about the mess. Cas woke to bright jade eyes boring into his. He greeted his Alpha with a gruff, blissed out voice, “Hi.”

“Hi Cas.” Dean was so happy at that point in time his earlier panic was all but a distant memory. 

“These bed sheets are gross. We need a shower and then I’ll need to put on a load of washing, then I’ll-“ Cas was cut short when Dean pulled him closer, smearing the mess even more over their bodies, “Eww Dean! You big, disgusting... THING!” 

“I’m your big, disgusting, thing.” There was a twinkle in Dean’s eye and a smirk in his smile that, to Cas, was infectious. He laughed as he untangled himself and pulled his Alpha to his feet and dragged him to the bathroom.

They could barely keep their hands off each other in the shower, it was a wonder they managed to get clean before they managed to dirty themselves again, thankfully whilst the pair were still in the shower. They eventually managed to drag themselves away from the shower when the water ran cold. They dried and dressed themselves . Cas noticed Dean was looking pensive, he wondered if it was to do with the panic attack earlier. He went over to where Dean was putting his socks on, perched at the end of the bed. He knelt between Dean’s knees and looked up to those sad looking eyes. “Hey, you ok?”

“Yeah, just a couple things on my mind. Was gonna ask you about them before Sam decided to steal the show with his sucky news. It’s ok though, it can wait .”

Castiel ran his hands up Dean’s thighs and gave then a squeeze, not one of need or passion but one of comfort. “Well I’m always ready to talk Dean, I think now is a perfectly good time to talk.”

“It’s about you.” 

“Oh. Sure, what’s up?” The submissive, Omega side of Cas’ brain was raking itself trying to think of anything his Alpha might not be happy with.

“You’re just so amazing. But one of the more vivid memories of I have from the facility was that first time they,” Dean still struggled with the word, as if admitting it would make it any worse, “raped me. You saw me. Your face was just so heartbroken, like your world had crumbled. I hated that it was me that put that there. I guess I wanted to say I’m sorry. I wish you could never have gone through that. You don’t deserve that .”

“Hey! You never have to apologise for what happened to you! Nothing there was your fault. You couldn’t have stopped it. I was the one who started working there. I was there trying to get a story and I found you. What I went through is nothing compared to you-“

“No, Cas! You don’t understand. You went through something too. Me ‘n’ Sam had talked about what we have been through. You need to do the same.” Dean was determined, he felt selfish that he had never asked Cas before about that awful day. During that morning’s walk, Sam had mentioned something that brought it front and centre to Dean’s brain . 

“I guess you’re right.” Cas leaned into Dean’s hand as it started to run through his damp mess of hair. “That day was awful, to me it was worse than when they brought you out of the facility. Seeing another Omega with you, well it felt like I was being ripped in two. I felt like someone had just sucker punched me wearing cement gloves. At that point I had the escape plan, after I saw you it just made everything more urgent. I HAD to get you out then and there. And then when I failed you...” Cas didn’t realise how much he had just pushed down deep and didn’t bother to deal with. He broke down and clung to Dean’s legs, still kneeling between them. In an instant Dean was on the floor, gathering the Omega into his arms. 

“Aww baby, it’s ok, I got you.” Dean melted to floor to console Cas, scenting him to make sure Cas knew he was there. “You didn’t fail me Cas. You saved me! You saved Sam too. You saved every single Alpha in the country! If it wasn’t for you, we would still be...” Dean couldn’t finish that thought . 

“I just wish I could have saved you sooner. The moment I read about you and the war I knew I just had to meet you, there was something I couldn’t put my finger on . The first time I met you, I wanted you out of there right then!” The words came out broken between sobs.

“There’s nothing you could have done. Those sick bastards were hellbent on their plan.” Dean held Cas until the sobs eventually subsided. He petted his Omega and whispered a continuous steam of praise and soft words. Selfishly, Dean thought, it made him feel warm inside that he could provide comfort like this . It didn’t seem like that long ago that the thought of having to care for someone else, just a little bit would have terrified him. Dean lifted Cas’ chin carefully and guided those plum perfect lips to his own, the kiss was unrushed and reassuring. He looked into the ocean blue eyes that were still glistening. The pair sat for a few minutes, Cas was just about to pull away before remembering, “What was the other thing you wanted to walk about?”

“Oh. I wanna visit my Dad. Sam won’t have anything to do with him. Will you come with me?” It was a slightly more hotly debated topic on Sam and Dean’s walks.

“Course. I’d do anything for you. Ok, we gotta move, that bed is gonna stink soon.”


	45. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please Comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> “Breathe deep breath clear, know that I’m here, waiting.”
> 
> 'Heart like yours' by Willimette Stone from the movie 'If I Stay'

A couple of weeks had passed since Sam had dropped his bombshell.  Spring was slowly turning into summer and Dean was progressing at a phenomenal rate.  His walks were growing longer and he and Sam used that time to fully air out all the memories of the facility.  Those talks were never fun they nearly always ended with Sam and Dean clinging to each other in a bear hug.  Overall though, things were improving, there was no sign of any imminent attack on their little bubble of happiness the four of them had managed to carve out in the outskirts of Lawrence.  Something was nagging at Dean and now seemed like perfect time to address it.

 

“Hey Bobby, what’s that diner like on Main Street these days?”  Dean was taking a trip with Bobby into town to collect car parts, he was getting a case of cabin fever and practically hung his head out the window the whole ride in.

 

“It’s good, I guess, does a neat burger, pie’s not too bad either.”  Bobby gave Dean a questioning look.  “How come?  Ya hungry?”

 

“Nah, just was thinking a bit recently...”

 

“Dangerous.”  Bobby joked

 

“Hilarious,”  Dean deadpanned, “Me ‘n’ Cas haven’t even been on a real date yet.”

 

“You boys are kinda past the dating stage don’tcha think?”

 

“I wanna do things properly, the way we met is all messed up, I wanna go back and make good memories we can tell our pups about how when we dated.”  Dean surprised himself at how candid he was being, he hadn’t fully talked about having kids with Cas.  It just seemed so right.  “I want to do it all, I wanna pick him up, see if he gets all nervous, I wanna pay the check and refuse to let him go halves.  I wanna kiss him at his door.  I want everything.  I wanna wear a _tie_ _!_ ”

 

“Do you even own a tie?”  Bobby had to crack a joke to stop the moment becoming too touchy feely.  He was an understanding man but this was far too squishy and cute for his tastes.

 

Dean rolled his eyes.  He was sure he had a tie...  Somewhere...  Sam had loads after his trekking about doing all his meeting with the Alphas.  He had the evening all planned out in his head now.  He just needed his date to agree.  He sat and planned the final details as Bobby drove them home.  He hadn’t even realised they had arrived home until Bobby shoved something into his lap.

 

“Hey!  I said, I got you somethin’ it’s what we went into town for.  It’s in the trunk.”

 

“Oh.”  Dean was too busy planning his date he hadn’t noticed what it was Bobby was actually picking up.  Dean walked to the trunk, he was managing short distances outside with no crutches, but he made sure he carried his trusty crutch so it was close by.  The Alpha stared at the contents of the trunk, “wow Bobby, you got some real junk in your   There was bits of metal all rammed together, various sizes and shapes.

 

“Look closer ya idjit!”  Dean studied the trunk more, lifted pieces out,

 

“That’s a part for in inlet manifold.  That’s a connector for the tailpipe.  Wait a sec...  These are all for the Impala.  Bobby?!”

 

“I had a check see how the old gal was lookin’, reckon you could have her up and running again if you’re up for the challenge.  Thought we could see how that went and if you’re keen maybe you can come check a few cars out at the yard.  God knows Rufus is just about on his last legs.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Only if you want to mind.”

 

“I’d like that.  Thanks Bobby.  But first, need to go call on my boyfriend, ask him out on a date!”  Dean entered the house and found his Omega fast asleep on top of their bed.  Dean shoved his boots off and climbed gently into bed, careful not to disturb his True Mate’s slumber.  As soon as he had settled, Cas was turning and cuddling into Dean’s arms, snuffling unconsciously across his neck and shoulder.  It was unbearably cute and Dean wrapped his arms around the other man, he figured he could spare a few minutes for super manly Alpha snuggle time. 

 

The warmth and comfort that surrounded Cas when he woke up warmed his heart with joy.  The only small things detracting from waking up from a nap with your Alpha, was when said Alpha was sleeping on your arm, and slobbering all over it, and snoring.  In fact, it may have been the snoring that woke Castiel up.  He couldn’t really find it within himself to be irritated.  He hadn’t actually meant to fall asleep he was just resting his eyes for a moment.  Right now though his arm was getting some very concerning tingling.  “Dean?  Dean!?  You’re on my arm, its going numb.”

 

“Hmm?”  Dean lazily opened his eyes and went to wipe his mouth against the covers, his face seemed to be in a puddle, the unpleasant sensation had him sitting bolt upright in seconds, “Gross Cas were you drooling?” 

 

“No, that was you.  And the snoring, and sleeping on my arm.  All you.”  Cas sat up more slowly, he attempted to pat down his hair into something resembling presentable.

 

“Oh, sorry Cas.”  The sight of Cas just after he had woken up always made Dean smile, it reminded him of a sleepy hedgehog with that hair.  He felt kinda bad for making his Omega uncomfortable, he was supposed to be looking after him.  The one tiny negative thought was enough Dean could practically feel a dark cloud surrounding him, he felt like a ten tonne weight had just been shoved onto his shoulders.

 

“’t’s ok.”

 

“Hey!  Um, I was thinking,” Dean tried to revive his earlier good mood but he was suddenly feeling very nervous, like he was back at high school asking Many Hubert to the prom

 

“Oh god.”

 

“Why does everyone react like that?”  The comment hurt a bit, not that Dean would admit it to anyone.  “Anyway, I was wondering if you, um, wanted to go, um actually never mind it was a stupid idea.”  Dean blushed heavily, he couldn’t believe how dumb he was being.  Self doubt washed over him, with a millisecond he was already wondering, if they were in another universe, one where there was no such thing as Alphas and Omegas, if everyone was the same, if there wasn’t this bond between the two of them, would Cas even look twice at Dean?  He spoke about going out on a date with Cas as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  Dean wasn’t _normal,_ he was just a regular Alpha that never quite managed to fit in. 

 

“Dean!  Hey!  What were going to ask?”

 

“Nothin’.  It’s fine.  You’re right, me thinking is dangerous, huh?”  Dean managed a weak smile and pecked Cas on the cheek.  “Bobby got me some parts for the Impala, I’m gonna start working on my Baby again.  Um, I’d better go make a start, Bobby has probably messed up my old working space, gonna go fix it.” 

 

“Dean!”  Cas went to stop Dean from leaving, without thinking Cas gripped tightly on to the Alpha’s wrist.

 

“GET OFF ME!”  Dean felt the grip on his wrist and instinct took over and ripped his arm away, almost throwing Cas to the other side of the room, he stumbled but stayed upright.  Dean stood shocked, “Fuck!  I’m sorry!”  Dean stormed out of the room and out of the house.  He marched across the yard to the empty workshop.  His legs took him automatically to his old workspace where the Impala sat in a sorry state.  Dean leaned against the hood for a moment, self directed anger building up inside him.  He thought he was managing to get a hold of his emotions, he was supposed to be getting better!  One small trigger like someone grabbing his wrist should spark such a severe reaction!  He was doing so well.

 

Dean was breathing hard. He grabbed a crow bar from the workbench and poured all his anger, all his frustrations into the pummelling hits against the trunk of the car.  Something inside him snarled with satisfaction when he took out the back window.  The metal became twisted and battered, an appropriate comparison to how he was feeling.  He cursed his own brain.  He had such a good morning in town with Bobby.  For the first time since he had been rescued he had something that he could work on that resembled his previous life.  Now he was out here throwing a tantrum like a bitch as if part of him didn’t want to move on.  Once he had inflicted enough damage Dean collapsed against the side of the Impala and wept.  He felt pathetic, tiny and useless.  His mind wandered back to Cas, he knew practically nothing about the man and suddenly they were linked inextricably together, destined to be with each other for life.  Cas had mentioned before, back when they first met, that he never wanted to be claimed, that he never wanted the life of a claimed Omega.  Sure they had talked about it a little bit since but they had been so focused on Dean and his recovery that Dean barely knew anything about Cas.  Only that Cas loved him, and wasn’t going anywhere.

 

When there was no movement from the direction of the workshop, Castiel gathered himself to go and talk to Dean, he was armed with pie, what could possibly go wrong.  He figured Dean was probably having a slight blip and needed _some_ alone time but also needed to be coaxed out of his funk.  Castiel entered the workshop and found Dean curled against the black but rusting car, head in his hands and knees bent up as far as they would go.  Cas sat down and crossed his legs, leaving a small distance between them.  “Hey.  I brought pie?”  It came out as a question. Cas worried about his Alpha when he was like this but knew Dean didn’t need his worry, just his support.

 

The fact Cas had come out here with pie only proved more to Dean that Cas was too good for him.  Cas knew that Dean’s favourite food was pie.  Dean didn’t know Cas’ favourite food, didn’t even know his thoughts on pie!  “Thanks.”  Dean mumbled, he made no attempt to take the bowl.

 

“If you want me to go I can.  I thought maybe we could watch a movie or something?  Your choice?”

 

“Do you ever think you would be happier if you never met me?”  Dean blurted out between his hands.

 

“What-“

 

“I mean, I know you love me.  I do, and I know you were drawn to me but, if you had been further away or if you were researching another story instead of mine, do you think you would be happier, not having to deal with all this?”  Dean gestured to all of himself. 

 

Cas tilted his head, thinking how to phrase his response so there was no doubt in Dean’s mind how much Cas needed him.  “Before I met you Dean, I was a very unhappy person.  Being an unmated Omega is no walk in the park.  I thought it was preferable to being claimed only because my experience was with ignorant Betas who thought a male Omega was just a knot-slut they could have if they fancied.  I had only met two or three other Alphas in my life and they were assholes.  When I met you, I knew you were different, it was like a switch was flipped.  I _trust_ you with everything I have.  You have made me whole now.  You make me who I was always supposed to be.”  Cas was encouraged when Dean lifted his head from his hands.  Cas continued, “I would like nothing more than to change _how_ we met, but I will _never_ regret meeting you.  I _love_ all of this.”  Cas gestured to all of Dean.

 

“Will you go on a date with me?”  Dean spluttered.  Cas’ words were like sunshine to chase to the black cloud away, like a tonic for the poison his brain drowned him with.  He was feeling cautiously brave and decided to bite the bullet.

 

Cas smiled widely, butterflies started to flutter in his stomach.  “I would love nothing more!”

 

Dean allowed a lopsided smile to cross his face, Cas’ grin was infectious.  “From now on we do this properly.  I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven, I want a shirt and tie affair.  I want us to be a real couple.  I want to learn everything about you, Cas.”

 

“Tomorrow at seven it is.  Does this mean we have to sleep in separate beds and ignore each other until then?”  Cas joked.

 

“Hmm.  Let’s not be that proper then.”  Dean closed the gap between them and kissed Cas.  Using it to convey the deep gratitude Dean held.  Cas was perfect in every way and now Dean was going to start finding out everything he could about his Omega.


	46. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> Feel free to ignore the mini story in italics, doesn't add to the plot but it sure adds to the feels.
> 
> Double update cos I got over 100 Kudos (Thank you all those who have Kudosed me.)
> 
> “you give me something to think about that’s not the shit in my head,  
> you're a miracle"
> 
> 'St. Patrick' by PVRIS

*At six-forty the next day*

  
Since Cas had accepted his proposal for a date, Dean had been a giant bag of excitement and nerves.  At half five Dean had ushered a protesting Cas into Sam’s room and stated he was not to come out until Dean came to ‘pick him up.’  Sam was there armed with various shirt and tie combinations to make sure Cas looked presentable.  Dean was appraising himself in the mirror, he was wearing a dark blue button down with a darker blue tie.  He felt sixteen again, fiddling with the too small buttons.  He also wore a pair of slacks that hung off him just a bit and shoes that were just a tad on the neat side, it was the best he was able to get on a fly visit round all the thrift shops in Sioux Falls. 

 

Bobby stuck his head around the door ten minutes later, Dean turned and held his arms to the side to let the older Alpha inspect him.  “Well, whaddya think?”

 

“Ya scrub up well kid.  I got you a semi working car, should get you there and back.”  Bobby leaned against the door jamb.

 

“Never mind that!  Will it make two return trips?  I ain’t hanging around while those two play tongue tennis!”  Sam opened the door and walked in past Bobby.  When Dean had remembered he probably shouldn’t drive just yet he begged Sam to play chauffer so that Cas didn’t have to drive and spoil Dean’s go at being all Alpha-ey.

 

“It’ll be fine!  Rufus was working on it today!”

 

“That does not fill me with confidence...”

 

“Hey guys!  Focus!  Sam go and get the damn car.”  Dean swore Sam was becoming more and more like an old goat like Rufus and Bobby as time went on, Dean might have to remind his brother he isn’t sixty. 

 

Dean squared his shoulders and strode up the corridor to Sam’s room, he knocked gently.  He was only waiting seconds before the door opened and Cas was smiling up at him.  “Hi.” Cas looked good enough to eat.  He was wearing a white shirt and a dark blue tie, the night was cool for a summer night so he was also wearing a beige trench coat.  His hair looked as if it had forced to flatten down many times but was stubbornly sticking up in all directions.

 

“Hi.”  Dean had the most adorable goofy smile on his face, Cas just melted inside.

 

“Shall we?”  Dean offered his elbow in a perfect show of chivalry. Cas laughed and took his Alphas arm all the way to the car.  Cas threw his head back when he saw Sam in the driver’s seat.

 

“Sam you don’t have to drive I-“

 

“His name isn’t Sam!  It’s Jeeves!  Drive on Jeeves!”  All three were laughing together as Sam pulled away from the scrapyard. 

 

The nerves from both of the boys were palpable the whole car ride.  It made Sam smile every time he glanced in the rear view mirror, occasionally met with a death stare from Dean, as if silently _daring_ him to say anything embarrassing.  The car pulled up outside ‘Joe’s Diner’ and Dean was as quick as a flash as he opened the door for Cas.  Dean couldn’t help but smile widely at the half questioning half secretly delighted look on Cas’ face.  They entered the diner, they were both way overdressed but neither of them noticed as they sat in a quiet corner away from the other few customers.  Dean knew he was sitting there, grinning like an idiot but couldn’t think of anything to say.  Before he left himself delve into a shame spiral he ploughed ahead with the first thing that popped into his head.  “So, _Castiel,_ ” Dean figured if this was a proper first date he wouldn’t know to call Cas, Cas.  He continued, “did you live in Lawrence your whole life or did you move there?”

 

“Cas.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“My friends call me Cas.  You can call me Cas.”  Cas played along with the charade of the whole first date thing.  “I grew up in Pontiac, Illinois.  I moved to Lawrence when I was eighteen.” 

 

“Huh.”  Already new information was arising about his True Mate, Dean was pleased but a small part worried what might be uncovered.  “What made you move to Lawrence of all places?”  


 

“I dunno, well, I didn’t know then.  But looking back I think there was something pulling me there.  It just felt like Lawrence was where I needed to be.”  Cas looked up from his menu, long eyelashes framing those indescribable blue eyes.  There was a huge flutter in Dean’s stomach from Cas’ unspoken meanings behind his words.

 

“Well hey there boys!  I’m Abby. I’ll be your server!  Can I take your drinks order?”  The server smelled like an Omega and Dean couldn’t help but notice how she immediately seemed focused on him rather than the couple together.  Her scent was one of sherbet lemons, it might have smelled nice to someone but for Dean, it just smelled sour and nasty.

 

“Cas?”  Dean made an effort to direct the waitresses’ attention to his date, being all chivalrous and all.

 

“A beer will be sufficient.”  The Omega’s response surprised Dean, his voice was a lot lower than normal and sounded verging on threatening.

 

“Make that two.  Thanks.”  Dean watched Cas watch the server walk away.  If looks could kill, the poor girl would be on the floor in seconds.  “Hey?   What’s up?”

 

Possessive was something Castiel would never describe himself as but when that serving girl was over practically throwing herself over Dean, he saw red.  He reckoned he could have taken her in a fight, easy.  He was annoyed at himself for coming close to ruining the evening Dean, and himself, was so excited for.  He should know by now that he and Dean were perfectly matched, nothing could part them now.  He realised he wasn’t being as subtle as he thought he was when Dean was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.  “She’s coming up for heat and she has her eyes on you.  I don’t like it.”

 

At that second Dean let the charade of being on a first date fall.  “Cas, baby.  Look at me.”  Dean leant over the table and gathered Cas’ hands in his own, kissing the knuckles until the waitress was out of view and Castiel was forced to acknowledge Dean.  “She ain’t got nothing on you.  I love you.”  Dean scented along the pulse point on Cas’ wrists, smiling as he could feel his True Mate relaxing.

 

There was no response that was worthy.  Cas just smiled and let his Alpha scent him, silently hoping it would be enough of a hint to the waitress to back off.  They chatted absently about living in Lawrence.  It became clear Dean had never really managed to explore much further afield.  From what Dean spoke of he was mostly made to work to make ends meet or he was at home, Dean said he stayed with his father out of choice but there was something that Dean wasn’t saying that he wanted to ask more about.  Not here, but when they were alone. 

 

 After an unusually long time, a freshly made up Abby returned with their beers.  As she passed one to Cas she inhaled, her nose screwed up, clearly being forced to accept that Dean was already spoken for.  For Cas it was more satisfying then it was insulting.  “That’s right.  He’s mine.  I’m his.  So stop drooling over him like a lost puppy, it’s rude.”

 

“I wasn’t...  I...  Pfft!”  she sashayed away and Dean couldn’t help but burst into laughter.  Cas was smiling but still watching the girl out the corner of his eye.

 

“You do realise we can’t eat here now right?”

 

“What why?  Maybe she’ll back off.”

 

“Yeah, maybe.  Or maybe she’ll spit in our food.”  Dean sat still within view of the waitress who as now giving an in depth recount of events with a similar looking girl standing next to her.  He wasn’t sure if people still spit in food but he wasn’t overly keen to find out.  He looked back at Cas who looked distraught.

 

“Oh god Dean.  I’m so sorry!  I ruined your night.  I’m so stupid.  We could go somewhere else?!”  Cas just wanted the ground to swallow him up.  Of course there was nowhere else to go for dinner that was still open. Lawrence was quite a small town with not much in the way of culinary choice. 

 

“It’s fine Cas.  This was probably a dumb idea anyway.”

 

“No, Dean.  I loved that you want to do this whole thing properly.  I want that too and I can’t believe I ruined it!”  Cas was so angry with himself.  It only fuelled his frustration that when his anger was directly attached to his tear ducts and he was perilously close to crying. 

 

“Hey. Hey. Hey!  I have an idea!  Spit free and everything.”  Dean chugged his beer and stood, putting on his jacket as Cas followed suit.  He made his way up to the cash register where Abby was talking to her work mate.  “Hey, er, we gotta go.  Can I get three slices of the pecan pie to go please?  And obviously we need to pay for the beers.”

 

“Sure.”  Abby threw a murderous gaze to Cas and set about putting individual slices into boxes.  She rang up the items and Dean paid without any more words. 

  
“Why’d you get three slices of pie?”  Castiel accepted one of the boxes and opened the lid.  It smelled unbelievable, it warmed his hands against the cooling night air.

 

“Easy!   One for you, two for me!  Oh wait!  I forgot to ask!!  What are your thoughts on pie?!” 

 

“I like pie.  It’s ok, we can keep seeing each other.”

 

“Just as well.”  Dean smiled as he walked across the street to one of his favourite spots in Lawrence.  If he had any spare time between work and his dad, he would come to this very spot.  They walked across the park and Dean took off his Jacket and laid it on the ground for them to sit on.  The moon was high in the sky.  It was almost full and the light made Castiel’s eye shimmer like clear pools.  They opened the boxes, Dean groaned, “No spoon!  Looks like she had the last laugh after all.” 

 

“Never!”  Even though he knew the waitress would never see his little response he refused to let her get one up on him.  He gingerly picked up his slice of pie and ate it, like a slice of pizza.  He managed to carry it off without spilling a single crumb, although he was pretty sure he looked like a five year old with pie all over his face.  He worried for a moment when he didn’t hear Dean laugh of chastise him or say anything for that matter, he looked up to his Alpha.  Dean was sitting there looking completely dumbstruck.  Cas wondered how much of a state he looked to cause such a reaction.  “Sorry, that was childish.”

 

Dean had to work hard to close his gaping mouth, organise his thoughts and remember how to talk.   “That was the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life.”  Dean leaned across and kissed around Cas’ lips, cleaning up the left over pecan filling and crust crumbs that littered his chin.  Once that was clean he delved his tongue into Cas’ mouth.  He tasted sweet from the pie, Dean took his time exploring.   Cas became a squirming pliant, submissive, whimpering mess, running his hands everywhere he could reach just trying to pull himself closer to his Alpha.  Just as things were about to turn PG13 Dean’s phone went off.  He was all for ignoring it but was also fully aware the only people who had his new number were Cas, Bobby, Rufus and Sam and none of them would phone now unless it was important.  “You have really bad timing Sam.  We ain’t ready to be picked up yet!”

 

“So get this...  turns out Bobby shoulda had you look at the car today cos he’s an old coot that can’t see anymore.”  There was a curse from somewhere in the background that sounded a lot like Bobby.  “Turns out one of the timing belts was damaged and as I was driving back, it snapped altogether.  Sorry man, can’t drive you guys home.”

 

“Ok.  Well thanks for letting me know.  Bye.”  Dean hung up quickly and went back to his ministrations, gently pushing Castiel to his back and scenting all along his jaw and neck before returning to fuck into Cas’ mouth with his tongue.  Only when Cas was breathless after the onslaught did Dean explain, “No lift home.  Guess we are walking back to Bobby’s.”

 

“What about your knee?”  Castiel felt lightheaded but sobered quickly, he didn’t wasn’t his Alpha hurting himself.

 

“It’ll be fine.  I’ll just take it easy tomorrow.”  Dean sighed.  “We best get walking if we are gonna get home by sunrise.”  Dean helped his Omega up off the floor, dusted his jacket and put in back on.

 

The walk home was long, took almost two hours to cover the distance to Bobby’s scrap yard on the outskirts of Lawrence.  It might have taken less time but on occasion the boys got distracted at the edge of the road.  When they weren’t canoodling on the highway, they talked about more serious topics.  Castiel opened up about his brothers and his childhood, being forced into being a submissive, meek boy that Cas never wanted to be.  He also talked about his cousin, from the sounds of it Dean had a lot to thank this wayward cousin, Gabriel for.  It sounded like he saved Cas.  “I guess my brothers were right though, I mean, here I am, Alpha on my arm, everything they trained me up for.”

 

“Cas, you only submit when _you_ want to which is just one of many things I love about you.  And meek, please!  I wouldn’t call singlehandedly taking on the Alpha Sec and the government meek.  You are so strong, and perfect.  Your brothers sound like grade A douche bags.”  Dean squeezed Cas’ hand as if adding emphasis to his words.

 

  After a while the conversation turned and Dean talked more about his Dad, Cas gently pushing for a bit more information.  “I’ve not met your dad, not officially, but, I’ve heard Sam say things, is it true?”

 

“Is what true?”

 

“You’re Dad... did he?”

 

“My dad is complicated.  He was different after Mom died.  He never recovered.  The only people he cared about were Jim, Jack and Jose.  He relied on me to look after Sam and when the shit hit the fan, which does happen when you leave a child to look after a younger child, he didn’t know what to do so...”  It must have been something about being here, with Cas.  Being with someone that loved him so unconditionally and so fully that he realised how much his dad had gone off the rails.  John protests through the years that what he did was for the best and Dean meant that john did what he did out of some misguided form of love.  Now Dean could see clearly, John was just a lost, lonely man who never should have been in charge of .  The revelation felt like a weight off his shoulders, one he hadn’t realised he was carrying all these years.  “So I guess yeah, whatever you heard from Sam, it was probably right.  He would beat me up quite often.  One time he broke my arm.”

 

“What?!”  Cas didn’t really  want to believe it.

 

“Yeah....  I was like twelve, Sam was nine.  Dad had taken himself away for a hunting trip or rather a drinking session not in the house.  Me n Sammy were bored as hell, we didn’t have a working TV at that point, couldn’t afford one.  But we both had a couple of comics that we read and re-read, then we made up our own stories...”  Dean trailed off as if he was twelve again,

 

_“Sammy!  C’mon look at me I’m Superman, I’m indestructible!”  Dean leapt off the garage roof and landed on the grass lightly on his feet._

_“I’m Batman!!  Sam squealed happily, flapping the pillow case tucked unto his collar dramatically behind him.  Sam bent his knees as if he was away to jump too._

_“Sam! NO!!  STOP!”_

_“What?  Why?”_

_“Don’t jump!  It’s not safe.”  Dean hollered._

_“But you jumped?!”  Sam crossed his arms in a stubborn way, Dean ran round to the tree and tried to climb back to the roof as fast as he could._

_“Yeah but...”  Dean tried to think of anything, then it came to him.  “I’m superman, he can fly, Batman can’t fly.”  He cried, he couldn’t see Sam and it made him nervous._

_“Well, in my version he can.”  Sam sulked._

_“NO!!  Sammy!”  Dean clambered as quick as he could, he reached the top just in time to see Sam jump, he raced to the edge of the roof, he saw Sam in a heap on the ground.  He leapt off the roof and got to Sam as fast as he could.  Sam tried to stay stoic but was quietly whimpering, holding his deformed wrist._

_“I’m sorry Dean.”  He sniffed and snuffled, “I didn’t mean to.”_

_“It’s ok.  Look we gotta get you to the hospital but just don’t say anything ok?  If they ask you a question, lie.”_

_“But isn’t lying bad?” Sam asked with wide eyes._

_“Yeah, but not this time, sometimes lying is for the best.”  Dean hugged Sam to his chest and lifted him in to the garage and onto the handlebars of his bike.  Dean peddled as hard as he could to the ER and held Sam’s hand as it was getting xrayed and cast.  When the doctors asked about who they should call Dean just pulled Sam clean off the bed and raced out of the hospital, dodging security and made it to his bike and pedalled them both home.  He congratulated himself on his work and told Sam to wear his long sleeved shirts for the next while until the cast came off, Dean knew he would probably have to take it off himself and he wasn’t quite sure how long it would have to stay on for._

_Tragically for Dean, Sam didn’t own enough long sleeved shirts, the same three were worn for almost two weeks, barley enough time to get them washed and dried before another was needed.  That’s when John got suspicious.  Hey kid, you own more than three shirts right?”_

_“Yes, Sir?”  Sam mumbled._

_“Why you were the same ones all the time?”  John raised an eyebrow, his boys seemed shiftier than normal over the last couple weeks and it getting annoying as hell._

_“Umm....  Wait!  OOOWWWWWW”  Sam tried to squirm free but John grabbed his casted arm by accident but pulled the long sleeve away to show off the white cast._

_“DEEEAAAN!!”  John yelled._

_“What?  What’s Wro-“  The words caught in his throat.  He was done for now._

_“Why the fuck does Sam have a broken arm?  You have_ one _fucking job, to look after your brother.”  John raged, letting Sam go and grabbing Dean by the scruff of his collar, almost chocking him._

_“He fell!  He didn’t mean to.  Please!  Dad!  Stop!  You’re hurting me!”  Dean pulled at the hands holding him but he didn’t stand a chance, before he knew it they were in the garage, Dean’s forearm was forced into the vice and held there, the pressure hard against his wrist bones._

_“I’m gonna do a lot more than that you little shit.”  Dean thrashed and punched out, trying to escape but all it got him was a hard slap to the face.  the pressure increased at his wrist, John was tightening the vice, the pain built and built._

_“Please!  Dad!!  Don’t do this!  Please!  I’ll be good!  Please!  AAAHHHHHHHH!!”  There was a crunch which made Dean’s insides jump, he felt sick to his stomach, the pain in his wrist  making him black out._

_When Dean came to, he was in the same hospital he had taken Sam, the doctor looked down on him, “yep he was here a couple weeks ago with your other kid, didn’t stick around so we could call you.”_

_“Well, Dean has a habit of lying and covering up things.  I’m working on it though.  So I’ll bring Sam back in four weeks for the cast off and Dean in six weeks yes?”  John said politely to the doctor, a thin veil covering the dangerous, hung over neat within._

_“Perfect.”_

“So we left the hospital,  four weeks later Sam _did_ get to go back to get his cast off _._ Me, I had to endure _a terrifying_ experience with his father and a circular saw to get mine off. _”_

“I’m sorry you went through that.”  Castiel had tears in his eyes as he flung himself at Dean and hugged the Alpha with all his strength.

 

“Thanks Cas.”  Dean kissed the top of the dark muss of hair before pulling away and, again entwining fingers with his True Mate.  Somehow, telling Cas that story didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.  The shame and the guilt didn’t swamp him like it did when he thought about it in the past.   It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, one he had carried for too long and had become used to but was being dragged down by it all the same.  They talked about lighter topics for the remainder of the walk home.  In Dean’s opinion it may not have been what he had planned but he couldn’t think of a better way to end than walking under the stars with his one true love. 

 

Dean stopped once again at the side of the road, double checking to make sure the coast was clear.  “Cas?  Will you dance with me?”

 

“There’s no music here.”  Cas gave in quickly when Dean gave him a single look. 

 

“Humour me.”  Dean lifted their intertwined hands, Cas rolled his eyes and slowly spun underneath.  The breath escaped him as Dean quickly spun him into a close tight embrace,  Cas let himself be held close, listening to the low humming of Dean’s chest as he gently sang, “Hey Jude, don’t make it bad, take a sad song and make it better.”  The couple slowly swayed together, Dean’s voice barely above a whisper.  Their eyes locked, jade with sapphire, the song was cut short with a passionate kiss.  They eventually managed to get their feet moving again, “So when was the first moment you knew that you had fallen for me?”  Dean gently teased.

 

“The first second I saw you.  There was no question in my mind from that point on.  But Dean, I didn’t _fall_ in love with you, I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way.  I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things we’d choose anyway.  And I’d choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and choose you.”  The words swirled around them, the world could have stopped turning and the couple on the floor probably wouldn’t have noticed.

 

“I love you _so_ much Cas.  That was beautiful.”

 

“Love you too, Dean.” 


	47. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
>    
> Dim the lights, put on the Barry White record cos its about to get hot and steamy!
> 
>    
> "Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,  
> Always remember."
> 
> 'Hands Down' By Dashboard Confessional.

After a quiet word with Bobby and Sam earlier in the day, the house was eerily quiet.  Sam and Bobby had practically forced him to tell him what his last goal was, when he finally explained there was a lot of red faces (especially Bobby’s) and muttered excuses as to why they weren’t around that evening anyway.  Dean had everything planned out.  His pie was just out of the oven and cooling on the side, he was freshly showered and his hair was slightly quaffed in that ‘trying to look like it was no hassle’ look.  Dean felt nervous about what he was away to ask Cas.  He knew _he_ was ready for them to take the next step but just hoped he hadn’t misread any of Cas’ signals over the last week.  If the scent of arousal was anything to go by, Dean guessed he wasn’t misreading anything. 

 

Cas was in the shower, the day was humid and unpleasant Dean remembered the Omega complaining about the heat when they were sitting outside catching some rays that afternoon, Dean’s skin had taken back a lot of its tanned colour, it was gladly accepted, apart from the million freckles he seemed to have grown that day alone.  Cas was complaining that it was too hot, the sweat was beading on his brow as they lay just beyond the porch.  It trickled down Cas’ temple, down towards his ear and neck, as if taunting Dean, showing off the long and leisurely paths it took over the Omega’s skin.  Of course to show that damn bead of sweat who was boss Dean leapt on top of Cas and went for a make out session that would make any hardnosed onlooker blush, Cas half complained it was too hot for such activities.

 

The afternoon had cooled into evening but it was still warm enough to get away with t-shirts.  Dean finished all his tasks and took to pacing around the kitchen.  He could feel the warmth and need growing with every hour.  It was his first rut as a free man since the war and he desperately wanted to share it with his True Mate.  He was going to ask Cas to be Mated with him.  He was full of conviction that this was right and that it was something that they both wanted but there was still the small part of Dean that questioned his worth. 

 

The shower wasn’t doing its job properly.  Castiel was becoming desperate for relief, his heat was coming on stronger and stronger and he wasn’t sure if Dean was ready to enter a three to four day long sex marathon with him. Not to mention they are at Bobby’s who probably doesn’t want them at it all day for the next few days.  Instead Castiel tried to use the fake knot but found it very unsatisfying, as if his body refused it knowing Dean was right there.  He would have to tell Dean what was going on.  Then he could go to a hotel until it passed or maybe get a different fake knot.  They would come up with a solution, they always did.  With those thoughts Castiel dried himself and dressed in a loose fitting t shirt and wished Dean wouldn’t take the mickey out of his cut off jeans he fashioned because god damn it South Dakota was really hot and even though it was turning evening Castiel wanted to wear shorts so he could be cool for the first time in seemingly forever!  He calmed himself with a breath, it was just the heat having a freak out.  No need to put Dean at fault.  He made his way down stairs and sniffed experimentally at the air.  Someone had been baking.

 

“Hey Cas.  Or should I call you ”  Dean threw his head back and laughed out loud at his own joke.  It made Castiel’s mild irritation all but vanish.  He could never stay annoyed at Dean, especially when he laughed. 

 

“Very funny Dean.”  Castiel deadpanned, feigning his previous misgivings.

 

“Ha!  Screw you Cas, I’m hilarious.”

                                                           

“Don’t you forget I found those red shorts!  Those ones that make you look like a weirdo PE teacher!”  Castiel had a laugh in his voice that made Dean feel all warm inside.

 

“Hey!”  Dean started at a loud indignant tone then quietened, “I rocked those shorts.”

 

“Yes you did.”  Castiel moved until he was behind Dean circling his arms around the man’s waist and nuzzling the back of one shoulder.  He felt practically giddy at the rumble elicited from Dean’s chest, vibrating to his cheek.

 

“Pie is ready.  You want ice cream with it?”

 

“YES!  So much ice cream!  Maybe put it in a different bowl I don’t wanna ruining your pie with loadsa ice cream but I need cooled down!”  Castiel meant it innocently enough, then Dean turned in his arms with a glint in his eye.

 

“Oh yeah?  What’s got you all riled up?”

 

“Dean your mind should come out of the gutter once in a while.”  Castiel joked.

 

Damn Cas could so easily distract him, Dean had to pull himself together and get on with serving the dessert before it all descended into innuendos and touching.  The pair sat at the small dining table and talked about everything and nothing, Dean watched in awe of the sight of Cas groaning around a mouthful of pie.  It sparked that pride inside of him that had only recently started to shimmer, now he was able to provide and care for his Omega, now they were on a more equal footing.  That’s why now was the right time to become Mated.  Once the bowls were empty, Dean cleared the dishes and went to Cas’ chair and sank to his knees.  Cas stared at him in an expression of confusion, wonder and worry.  “Cas?”

 

“Dean? What are you-“  Castiel was silenced by a thumb trailing across his lips.  He had seen his True Mate in some awful situations, physically vulnerable and emotionally wrecked but nothing compared to how vulnerable Dean looked now, willingly on his knees beside him.  It was such a sign of trust and strength when an Alpha knelt in front of his Omega like this.  Something panged inside of Castiel, he was never one for traditional rituals or anything traditional, period, but here was Dean in such a traditional pose or courting it made him feel so loved and respected he nearly threw himself into the Alphas arms. 

 

“I’m not good with chick flick moments so please just let me get this out.” Dean took a moment to clear his throat and gather his thoughts.  “Cas you saved me, in every way a man can be saved.  You stayed with me through the crap that should have sent me straight to the nut house.  You helped me find myself again and now we can start being the couple we were destined to be.  Cas, I want to be yours so much.  And, if you’ll allow it, I want you to be mine.  So, um, I’m asking you, Castiel Milton, will you be my Mate?  Will you be _my_ Cas?”  Dean stared deep into the sapphire eyes, gleaming as they looked down at him.  His mouth was dry and he felt like his whole body was shaking.

 

“Yes.”  Castiel spurted out immediately, “Yes, yes, a million times yes.  Oh Dean!   I love you!  That doesn’t even begin to cover it!  I want to spend every moment of every day as your Mate!”  Castiel mashed their lips together in a needy, bruising kiss, he sank to his knees practically on top of Dean.

 

“Jeeze Cas!  Um, maybe we should go upstairs, I don’t think Bobby would be happy about us mating in his Kitchen.”  Dean had to hesitate and he planted kisses up Cas’ cheeks where there was a beautiful rosy tinge of embarrassment.  Dean stood and lifted his Omega off the ground, the pair held hands as they climbed the stairs of the small house, the air was palpable between them.  The air seemed to shimmer, electricity pulsing between the two.  Cas’ scent filled Dean’s nose, the cherry pie sweetness made Dean’s need swell in his pants.  As soon as they got into the bedroom Dean pushed Cas firmly but not harshly up against the wall and explored the Omega’s mouth, he took his time pulling delicious sounds from Cas.  When they came up for air Cas looked positively dishevelled already, hair mussed where Dean couldn’t stop running his fingers through the dark locks. 

 

The slick was gathering unpleasantly in Castiel’s underwear and he couldn’t help but whimper at the sensation, he needed Dean like yesterday.  “Dean!  Need you!  Need you in me!”

 

There was a pleading in Cas voice that made Dean focus on his goal, he couldn’t drag this out now.  They had the rest of their lives for foreplay, right now they both needed this.  “I got you Cas.”  The button on the ridiculous shorts was undone easily enough, they dropped to the floor and the scent of arousal and slick intensified.  Dean worked to control himself, he wanted to rip the clothes still attached to Cas, but whilst he wasn’t drawing this out, he was damned if he was going to revert to stereotypical Alpha behaviour, not with Cas. 

 

Castiel tried to touch everywhere he could on Dean, he felt the muscles rippling with every controlled movement as Dean undressed him.  The muscles were becoming more toned every day.  He in turn was also pulling clothes off Dean as quickly as he could.  He could tell Dean was working hard not to turn into a knot head and the gesture alone was enough to galvanise his decision, it was one he had been thinking about for a while.  Eventually the couple were in the bed, Castiel lying on his back, legs spread in invitation to his Alpha. 

 

“Oh Fuck Cas!”  Dean peppered his journey from Cas’ neck to his navel with light touches and kisses, smiling into the soft skin at each squeal and whimper he pulled from the Omega.  He reached one hand to the slick covered hole and circled it with a finger, he looked up for just a slight nod of confirmation to their earlier promises. the slick was polling between Cas’ legs, he smelled even sweeter than usual, it was inviting and made his dizzy with need.  He didn’t want to disrespect Cas’ speech earlier by asking out loud but had a moment of self-doubt he needed squashed.

 

The look in Dean’s eyes made the Omega’s heart skip a beat, even after all they had been through, Dean still needed to be reassured that this was what Castiel wanted.  He gave his Mate a gentle nod and gasped as the finger teasing at his hole slid inside.  He felt his muscles relax instinctively, he was genetically designed to hold a knot so he was quick to relax around the second and third finger that was slid in after a time, the slick was polling between Cas’ legs, he smelled even sweeter than usual, it was inviting.  Cas was convinced he saw stars when Dean found his prostate, he had no doubt he was going to come very quickly, it took everything he had to maintain control and not to submit fully to his Alpha _just_ yet.  He whimpered when the fingers withdrew, now was his time to give Dean the gift he never thought he would give.  “Dean,  wait a second.”  He panted breathlessly.

 

                “What is it?  Was it not good?  Did I hurt you?”  Dean’s brain went into panic, how could he have messed this up already?

 

                “No, I just-“ Castiel began to turn in the bed, he watched as Dean’s expression changed from worried to confused to angry for a split second then, finally, back to confused.

 

“Cas, you don’t have to do that.  I know you aren’t a fan of traditional-“ 

 

“I want to Dean, I want to give you this,” Castiel leaned up to give Dean a loving, trusting kiss, “Nothing about our relationship has been _traditional,_ and you’re right, before we met, I hated the thought of presenting to an Alpha, only cos I thought it would be under duress, but here with you, the way you make me feel, the way you proposed to me, I feel a bit of tradition wouldn’t go a miss.”  With those words he turned himself on the bed and rested on his elbows and his knees, ass in the air, presenting to his Alpha. 

 

There was no way Dean could say no to his Omega friggin’ _presenting_ to him.  It was a perfect sight and Dean took no time to decide to take what Cas was offering, he lined up his cock and slid inside his Mate, groaning as every inch of him disappeared.  Once they were flush against one another, Dean took a second to collect himself and again to stop himself pounding into his mate like an animal.  He gently gyrated a couple of times to test Cas’ reaction.  Judging by the shameful groans, Cas was enjoying himself.

 

It was impossible to deny the feeling of Dean grinding inside him didn’t feel amazing and perfect but Castiel surprised himself when he demanded, “Harder!  Faster!”  Again, this time last year if anyone had told him he would be bent over in front of an Alpha, he would have laughed and denied all chance of that happening yet here he was, encouraging Dean to pound him into the pillows.  He was grateful that Dean had started slowly and gently, allowing him to relax but, right now, he craved something more animalistic, there was only him and Dean now, NOTHING stood between them.  They needed claimed and they belonged to each other and he wanted to wear Dean’s marks with pride.

 

Dean was powerless but to meet his Omega’s demands, he gradually built up the pace until his fingers dug into Cas’ hip bones to stop him from head butting the headboard.  Dean moved his hips experimentally until he found what he was looking for.  The noise that erupted out of Cas when his prostate was found was unreal, it was one of pure joy, lust, love and ecstasy.  Dean could feel his knot growing with each thrust and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. He reached one hand around Cas’ waist and took the hard length of flesh in his palm and pumped until he felt Cas squeeze around him and shoot a load of come all over his hand and the comforter.  As Cas’ internal muscles constricted against Dean’s own cock he felt his knot expand and tie the pair together.  Dean cried out as his knot expanded, barely having enough energy to keep moving and milking himself inside Cas, he took his weight onto his hands and leaned over the top of Cas,  his mouth ghosting over the junction between neck and shoulder. 

 

“Dean, please, mark me, claim me as yours.  I’m yours, Dean.”  Castiel breathlessly whispered.  The Alpha wasted no time and bit down.  He tasted blood and swallowed and he made his claim on Cas, his perfect, glorious, patient, selfless Cas.

 

The pain of Dean marking him wasn’t as bad as Cas thought it would be, it quickly reduced to a dull ache once the Alpha pulled away.  They collapsed in a heap together, still linked by Dean’s knot, Cas snuggled against Dean’s chest.  The vibrations as Dean talked nearly lulled Cas off to sleep, “Hey, I want marks too, I’m yours as much as you are mine.”

 

“Course Dean.  You’re my Alpha, my big, strong, manly Alpha.”  Castiel felt giddy after mating with Dean he heard himself sound like a goofy love struck idiot, he just couldn’t find it in himself to care.

 

The couple lazily caressed each other until Dean’s knot had subsided enough for him to pull out.  As soon as Cas was free, he used what energy he had left to two twist around pull his Mate up until they were both kneeling on the bed, Cas exposed the mark that Dean had given him and Dean sank his teeth back in to deepen his claim, simultaneously, Cas bit down on Dean in the exact same place as Dean did on him and nibbled until he felt a bead of blood land on his lips.  He bit as hard as he could until he felt the flesh give way and he heard a pained but satisfied sound from Dean, they withdrew from each other and appraised each other’s marks. 

 

“Yours.”  Cas placed a hand over Dean’s heart.  The scars from Dean’s past were still visible but Cas barely noticed them anymore.  Dean was Dean.

 

“Mine.”  Dean rested one hand over the top of Cas’ on his chest.  He returned the gesture and with his other hand he covered the Omega’s heart, “Yours.”

 

“Mine.”  Cas covered Dean’s hand.   If anyone asked Dean, there were NO tears during this chick flick moment.  But in truth both he and Cas had let a few tears escape, neither moving to wipe them away.  They stared into each other eyes for a seemingly endless amount of time, ensconced in the mirror image of each other. 

 

It was the next morning before the couple emerged from their room.  They opened up the small window in the room to try and air out the room, they carried the dirty laundry downstairs, hoping they were late enough that Bobby and Sam were somewhere else, doing something that didn’t involve them having to talk about the night’s activities.  During the night Cas may have grinded against Dean one too many times whilst asleep and before either of them knew what was happening they were going for round two.  It’s not that they didn’t want to share their news that they had mated, it was just that they were convinced Bobby and Sam may have heard the events after they both came home late into the evening.  Dean made a start on some pancakes whilst Cas loaded the laundry into the machine.  “Cas, I think we maybe need to find our own place, like ASAP.  I feel like a horny teenager trying to hide the fact we had sex last night.”

 

“Yeah...  I think that’s a good idea...”  The couple whipped round looking like guilty pups to see Sam standing in the doorway, just coming in from the porch. 

 

“Jeeze Sammy!!  Can you not!”  Dean’s heart was in his mouth at the fright, he could feel the blush spread right up to his ears.  He could have punched his brother, still standing in the door laughing heartily.  Dean couldn’t stay annoyed at Sam for long at all.  It was great to see him laughing so freely.

 

“Hey!  I’m just here to let you two lovebirds know that you have the house to yourselves for oooooh probably the next week.”  Sam was smiling widely as he spoke, giving them a knowing look.  “Charlie and Ash are actually moving to Kansas and they have a place over the other side of Lawrence.  Shouldn’t be able to hear you from there...  Oh and Bobby left a note saying he was staying at Rufus’ till next week.  He asked me to ask you guys to just make sure you leave the Garage accessible so he can at least still work.”

 

“Oh god...  How much did you hear?!  Nope!   Never mind.  Don’t wanna know.”  Dean was still a very pink shade of pink.  It made Castiel get a fit of the giggles, the whole circumstance was just beyond hilarious and awkward.  “Hey! Chuckles!!  Wanna help me out here?!”  Dean was looking at him with a look of mock betrayal.

 

“Um,  yeah,  no, um, sorry Sam.  Thanks!”  Castiel was off again in a laughing fit.  He didn’t even feel a little bit bad for driving the other occupants from their homes.  It was about time they deserved a bit of care free happiness.  This was the first heat Castiel could remember where he wasn’t in constant pain.  He had his Mate now and he could relax and let his Alpha look after him in every way.  Soon even Dean had relaxed enough to laugh at Cas, practically on the floor giggling away. 

 

“Well, if you see Bobby before I do, tell him thanks.  I think me ‘n’ Cas are ready to start looking at places to live.  My leg’s all healed, Immona get my Baby on the road to recovery and Bobby’s been talking about getting me some hours working at the garage again.”

 

“Good.  I’m happy for you guys.  Congratulations!”

 

“Thanks Sam... Wait...  How do you know tha....” Dean’s question was stopped in mid air by Sam giving him a bitch-face look that suggested Dean really didn’t want to know the answer to that question.  Just as Cas was managing to get the giggles under control, the last exchange between the brothers set him off again.

 

Sam headed off to meet Charlie and Ash and Dean continued with breakfast, his control tested to the max as Cas was suddenly unable to keep his hands to himself and was constantly attached in some way.  Not that Dean minded _at all_ he loved having his Omega so close, just practically, it had its setbacks.  He really couldn’t wait until they had eaten and they could get back to business.  The smell of Cas’ slick and the Mating ritual had nudged Dean into a Rut.  He could feel it burning deep within him, demanding it’s presence to be known. 

 

The smell of old leather and whiskey was intense in the air.  Cas couldn’t get himself close enough to his Alpha.  He stood behind Dean and pawed at his torso, running hands under the hem of his shirt and shamelessly scenting his Alpha Mate, running his nose along his collarbone.   Cas could feel his body responding to the presence of his Mate, slick was already starting to wet his underpants.  He wasn’t sure he even wanted breakfast at this point.  He just wanted Dean, forever.  It felt like he would never be able to get enough of Dean.  He was going to verbalise his need to Mate again but Dean cut him off before he could.  “Cas!  No!  You have to eat one pancake!  Then we can go upstairs again.  I’ll take a few up for snacking.”

 

Dean ate his own pancake with very poorly hidden impatience, Cas was even worse, woofing his down in four bites and downing a cup of coffee.  As promised Dean took the remaining plateful of pancakes and took them upstairs, quickly putting them on top of the chest of drawers before turning to his Omega.

 

As soon as their gazes locked, Dean was pushing Cas back towards the wall, the air escaped the Omega’s lungs at the impact, swallowed by Dean’s passionate kiss.  Cas wasted no time in pulling at Dean’s shirt until it fell to the floor.  His fingers restarted their earlier exploration of that torso that was toned to perfection.  Calloused hands framed Cas’ face as Dean slowed the pace of his kiss, as if he was tasting every inch of Cas’ mouth.  The hands artfully undid the button down without faltering and never breaking the kiss.  Cas submitted completely to Dean, making needy little noises trying to will his Alpha to take him.  Dean pulled away from Cas’ mouth only to plant butterfly kisses along his jaw, working up to the shell of his ear and running sharp teeth over the flesh there.  He pulled Cas by the belt loops towards the bed, stopping only to pull the sweatpants he had chosen to wear down so that he was completely naked.  Cas was glad he had foreseen the need to change the sheets there and then rather than waiting for the ones in the machine to be ready.

 

In an act of Alpha strength and dominance and protection, Dean scooped Cas up into his arms, much to the Omega’s surprise, his expression making Dean laughed deeply.  Cas was laid down gently on the edge of the bed, his legs manhandled so they were bent.  Dean knelt on the floor and ran his hands over his Omega’s thighs, caressing the flesh on the inside, making Cas groan with need.  The Alpha decided to take his time, as much as he could.  He lowered his face and ran his lips along the soft, supple flesh his hands had just traced.  He swapped between soft kisses and nipping with his teeth, the different sensations eliciting different noises from above him.

 

There was no other way to put it, Cas was torn.  He loved Dean’s touches, he loved that his Alpha knew instinctively what he liked.  On the other hand he just wanted Dean in his already and was being driven insane with Dean wasting time with foreplay.   He was open to his Alpha and he was producing more slick than he ever had before.  When Dean moved his attentions to Cas’ dick he was sure he was seeing stars, he was high as a kite and he wasn’t sure he was ever coming down.

 

Without warning Dean licked his way from the base to the very tip of the flesh in his hand, soaking it with spit.  He took the length fully into his mouth and sucked, his cheeks hollowing.  He replaced his mouth with a firm hand grasped around Cas’ cock, he licked and kissed his way to the fluttering hole, dripping with slick, the smell of cherry pie was so sweet and welcoming, Dean plunged his tongue into the hole and circled it round, above him Cas was moaning like the filthiest porn star.  After a few minutes, Dean added a finger, then two, working Cas open enough to take his knot without risk of injury.

 

“Dean, please baby, need you in me now!”  Cas couldn’t take it any longer.  He needed to be filled by his Alpha.

 

The Alpha pulled away momentarily, leaving his fingers inside, “Technically, I am inside already.”  Dean went straight back to using his tongue, leaving Cas whimpering above him.  He was struggling to control himself now with Cas’ noises and pleas.  Dean raised himself into the bed, over Cas as the Omega pushed himself into the middle of the bed.  They shared kisses momentarily until Dean aimed his cock at Cas’ entrance, the air escaped his lungs as Cas impatiently pushed himself down fully onto Dean.  “Oh fuck, Cas!!!”

 

“Well you were taking too long!”  Cas’ outburst made Dean laugh, which felt very odd but in a good way when inside his Mate.  Dean wasted no time in setting up a pace that had them both breathless within minutes.  Dean took Cas’ cock in his hand and pumped until Cas cried out and clamped around Dean as he orgasmed, instantly sending Dean over the edge with him.  Dean leaned down and remade his claim on Cas, biting gently down on the already marked area of flesh.  Cas returned the gesture, managing to deepen the bite on Dean, making his claim more clear.  Dean showered everywhere he could get to with kissed as he grinded though his aftershocks, once again bound by his swollen knot. 

 

“Dean?”

 

“Mmmmm?”

 

“I wanna change my name.”

 

“Why?  Castiel’s a good name!”  Dean’s voice was still groggy sounding, Cas smiled.  Dean wasn’t thinking with all his brain at the moment.

 

“No.  My last name. I wane register as an official couple and become a Winchester.  If that’s ok?”

 

That made Dean open his eyes and appraise his Omega.  He landed a loving kiss on Cas’ lips.  “You’re already a Winchester.  But of course, we’ll make it official.  We’ll do it tomorrow.”  They lay entwined in each other’s arm, whispering words of promise and love.  The bond between them deepened, not only by the refreshed bite marks, but also something neither of them had expected.


	48. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> ***Surprise Saturday Update***
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>  
> 
> Welcome to the new readers! I recently retagged and changed the plot summery and got a huge response (thanks to Viplaja for the hints and constructive criticism) 
> 
> I do read every comment and to the nest of my ability respond to them especially if they have any helpful comments I can use to improve my story :)
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> "I learned the things you never showed me,  
> Took the chances you'd have blown."
> 
> 'Dear Father' By Sum 41

The piece of shit car Dean was driving squealed as they parked in the lot.  The Impala was protesting at being restored after so long off the road and Dean’s knee had meant he couldn’t spend all day everyday trying to coax life back into his Baby.  It was frustrating as hell and Dean had thrown one or two car related bitch fits recently.  Today’s bitch fit was worst of all, not that he would admit it to anyone, but it potentially wasn’t just due to the car. The weather perfectly reflected his mood, it was raining heavily with no sign of relenting. They had pulled up to the county jail visitor’s parking lot.  Dean could feel Cas’ worried expression boring into him.  “Don’t ask me if I’m fine.  I’m fine.  Just need to get this done.”

 

Cas could tell Dean was not fine.  It was the angry at the world, teeth baring Dean that he met at the facility sitting next to him right now.  It put Cas on edge, he didn’t like his Alpha being upset.  This afternoon was going to suck and Cas just didn’t know how to help Dean this time, he had a suspicion that confronting his abusive father was something that wouldn’t be easily gotten over.  He just wanted Dean to be happy.  Since their date night, they had talked way more about their lives before the war started.  They had started doing more things away from the house, taking picnics out on the road, one day they took a trip to the lake and sat on the pier and dangled their legs in the cool water.  Everything had been so good since their Mating.  That had been just over a month ago and he and Dean had never been closer.  At least up until Dean heard from his dad, dictating when they would meet.  Instead of risking winding Dean up more, Castiel nodded and got out of the car.  Truth be told he wasn’t feeling great.  The last couple of days he had felt nauseous sore everywhere and was waking up hot and cold all night.  Castiel put it down to some viral thing and pushed on with his life.  Dean needed him now and he was dammed if some illness was going to hold him back.   he wondered if it was his heat starting to sneak up on him, since meeting Dean they had been out of sorts and he was overdue for one now, it had been around five weeks since their mating.

 

They went through the scanners and into the visitors room.  They sat with a space between them.  Cas felt like that distance might as well have been a million miles.  Dean was tapping his foot nervously under the table.  Cas reached across and held the closest of Dean’s hands.  His Alpha jumped, as if forgetting Cas was there.  Dean pulled his hand away slowly, crossing his arms across his chest.  Cas looked down to hide the pain the rejection caused.  Normally a touch or a kiss would settle Dean’s nerves.

 

The wounded look in Cas’ eye’s stabbed at Dean.  He knew he was being a dick, he really did but the last time John had seen him with a boy it was Simon, when he was seventeen, he had ended up with a fat lip and a black eye as a result.  That was six years ago now and the beatings and pain had enforced the lesson that it was too deeply seated.  It wasn’t going to be changed anytime soon.  Of course he was going to introduce Cas as his Mate but he wouldn’t dwell on it.  He would just hope John didn’t either.  As he finished that though the broad shouldered man entered the room and strode over to their table, accompanied by a guard.  “Hey, Dad.”

 

“Dean.”  John nodded.  His eyes went straight onto Cas, a questioning eyebrow raised.  “And...?”

 

“Cas, er Castiel, my Mate.  Cas this is my dad, John Winchester.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Sir.”  Cas kicked himself, he didn’t realise this would be the first time he would officially meet Dean’s only official parent.  Bobby was more of a father to Sam and Dean than the man in front of him ever was.  Now here he was sounding like a complete tool.  Of course it wasn’t a pleasure to meet the man, they were in a prison!

 

“Sure.  Mate huh?  Dean, I thought we discussed that years ago.”  

 

“Well, it’s not like I have a choice in the matter is it, Dad?”  It hadn’t come out the way he meant it and now Cas was looking at him as he had been shot in the heart.  Dean felt like a complete loser, he couldn’t deal with this!  This was a stupid idea. 

 

“Sometimes I really regret what happened to that nice girl Lisa.”  John muttered as he sat.

 

This was definitely in the top three worst moments of Cas’ life.  The way Dean was talking about him like he wasn’t even there.  Like Dean was somehow shackled to him, it hurt so much.  Cas tried to be reasonable about it, Dean was still healing, this was a stressful situation, Dean was facing the man who had abused him.  He reasoned that today wasn’t about him, it was about Dean facing another skeleton in his closet.  However, for some reason he was feeling very _un_ reasonable.  Cas stood and said to Dean quietly, “I’ll wait in the car.”  He strode away, secretly Dean would come after him instantly.

 

“Shit!”  Dean put his head in his hands.  He was torn, the love of his life was hurting and walking away but his dad had literally turned himself in to win back Dean’s freedom.  Everything he had was down to the two men.  His brain just wouldn’t work fast enough.  He still had so much to say to his dad.

 

“Well, quite the little princess you got yourself there.  Might as well have got a nice proper _female_ Omega if that’s what you’re into.” 

 

Something snapped inside of Dean.  He turned and saw Cas just about half way across the large hall when he shouted, “Cas!!  Wait!  You need to hear this.”  Instantly, Dean knew what he needed to do.  It was something he should have done so many years ago.  He stood up to his father. No one was allowed to talk about his Omega that way.  John was nothing but a poisonous man, so much so that even thought of meeting John had turned Dean into a selfish dick.  “You know what Dad?  Cas is my Mate.  I love him more than anything in the world.  No.  I didn’t get a choice but I know for definite that I would have chosen him any day of the week.  I came here to thank you for helping me get out of the facility, but you don’t deserve anything from me.  You were the one who put me in that facility, you get no thanks for getting me out.  You know who should get most thanks of all?  Cas, he co-ordinated everything cos he is super smart and he would do anything for me.  He sees something in me that I could never hope to see before.  All you ever did was beat me up and use me as your own personal bank.  I remember our ‘ _discussion_ ’ after my last _boy_ friend, Simon.  I remember you punching me over and over until I couldn’t see straight.  I remember when you found out Sam had broken his arm when he fell off the garage roof on my watch.  You didn’t even know had a broken arm for two whole weeks!”  Dean’s voice was breaking, tears streaming down his face.  Cas was back as his side and Dean slipped his hand into his Omega’s and held tight.  “I remember you, holding my arm in a vice and snapping it in two.  I remember everything.  And I forgave you every time, cos you _were_ my dad.  But now...  you mean nothing to me.  We are done.”  Dean turned to Cas, “I’m so sorry, Babe.  I know I’ve been an ass.  Let’s go home.”

 

The nausea was overwhelming now, since he had tried to storm out, he was barely able to stand.  It was as if there was something stopping him from leaving Dean alone.  Now that their hands were clasped, the symptoms had eased.  Or maybe it was because he was leaning on Dean slightly now.  “Yes, please.  Let’s go home.”

 

“Cas?  You ok?”  Dean was worried about the pallor of Cas’ face, he was as white as a ghost.

 

“Just... get me home.”  Dean linked an arm around Cas’ waist and supported him as the couple walked out of the hall.  John was shouting something at them, Dean didn’t bother to react.  He was now solely focussed on his Omega.  They got to the car and Dean gently eased Cas into the passenger seat. 

 

By the time they pulled into Bobby’s yard, they had to stop twice on the ride over so Cas could throw up.  The first time Dean cooed quietly, rubbing the smaller man’s back.  The second time Dean was phoning Bobby, asking if they needed to go to a hospital.  He got told to stop being an idjit and get straight home.  Dean aided Cas into the house and gently lay him down on the sofa.  The Alpha felt the Omega’s forehead, “Baby, you’re cold, why didn’t you say?”

 

“I dunno, I don’t feel right.  Feel sick and run down and really just uptight and...”

 

“Emotional?”  Sam piped up, he had been watching the scene unfold.  Whilst Dean had been wrapped up worrying about their father, Sam had noticed Cas becoming more variable in mood, at first he wasn’t sure if it was just because Dean was moping or if it was something else.  There was an ever so subtle change in Cas’ scent, he was surprised Dean hadn’t noticed, he smelled less like himself and a little more like Dean. 

 

“Well, maybe.”  Cas admitted, unsure what Sam was getting at.  Dean was staring at his brother with a confused look.

 

“When did your heat end?”  Sam rolled his eyes, he was really going to have to spell it out for the couple.

 

“Well... it was just like...  wait... has it been that long... it’s been like five weeks.”  Cogs were starting to turn in Cas head.

 

“How regular were your heats before?”

 

“Every four weeks.  Like clockwork.”  Cas looked up to Sam and to Bobby.  “You don’t think I’m...  no... it’s not possible.”

 

“Woah!  Can someone explain to _me_ what’s going on?”  Dean was completely lost.  He knew it had been a while since their last rut / heat but he didn’t think it was that long.  Surely if it was five weeks Dean would have rutted.

 

“Sam thinks I’m pregnant.”

 

“What?!  No!”

 

“Hey look, I’m just guessing, there’s a lot we need to figure out.  Let’s just say it’s a possibility.  I’ll go and get you guys a test and we’ll know for sure.”

 

Current events were a definite test of Dean’s mental strength.  He was already very close to done after the fiasco at the prison, this was something he just couldn’t comprehend right now.  It wasn’t that he wouldn’t be ecstatic if Cas had his pups, it was more the implications of Dean actually being able to impregnate an Omega.  He hadn’t dared to think how many Omegas were walking around that were pregnant because of him.  How many children was he biologically linked to?  It was something he never wanted to think about, it was on the list of things he hadn’t managed to talk to Sam about, neither of them had mentioned it.  Dean reached over to Cas and clasped his hand, maybe a little bit too tightly.  “Cas, I love you, but right now, I can’t...  the others...  the Omegas... Fuck!”  The mention of Cas and Dean having pups had been tossed about, between the two of them but that seemed years ahead in the future.  Mention of pups now just made Dean think of how many Omegas had used him and how many times he was about to become a father.  How would he even begin to even know where to look for answers? If he wasn’t clinging to Cas, he would have made a swift exit.  As it was Cas was squeezing his hand back, with enough force it seemed to anchor Dean to the spot, keeping him here, in the room, anxious but not panicking. 

 

“Hey, it’s ok.  Dean look at me, we don’t know what’s going on.  We need more facts.  I think we need Charlie and Ash to do some digging.”   The more Cas thought about what Sam was saying, the more the maths worked out and the more Cas was convinced he might be pregnant.  He was nowhere near ready to have a pup now.  There was still so much he needed to find out, like if the breeding programme worked, if Dean was fathering many pups and not just his, he needed to know how Dean felt about it all.  He thought he would have time to find the answers to these questions.  Apparently the timescale for his search has reduced significantly and he needed backup.  He would not push Dean into a panic attack by not preparing him for such life changing news.

 

“Ok.”  Was all Dean could force out. 

 

“I think we should go rest a while, recharge, this has been one hell of a day.”  Cas stood and pulled Dean gently with him.  He could see Dean struggle with the weight of the day, some days you should just not get out of bed, today was one of those days.  The couple undressed to their boxers and climbed into bed.  Dean held Cas close, scenting along his neck almost desperately.  Cas traced patterns along Dean’s spine until they both nodded off into sleep, facing each other, the little pup in Cas’ belly ensconced between them.

 

Dean woke from his peaceful snooze, his arms were full of Omega and for just a few seconds, there was nothing to worry about apart from him and Cas and the small bed that forced their close proximity.  Long lashed fluttered and Cas came round from his own sleep, shining blue eyes soon found his.  “Hey.”  Dean ran his finger through the mess of dark hair, trying to smooth it into some order.

 

“Hi Dean.”  Cas leaned into Dean’s touch, “You feeling any better?”

 

“Mmmm a bit.”

 

“Can we talk about this, about today?”

 

“A lot happened huh?”

 

“Yeah.  At the prison...”  Truth be told, Cas was still sore about some of the things Dean said.  He knew Dean didn’t mean it the way it came out but he wasn’t going to let it go. 

 

“I know.  I’m sorry that I said I didn’t have a choice.  I shouldn’t have said it.  With my dad, he just messes me up, I have never have been good enough for him and the way he was looking at me...”  Dean’s voice trailed off, he couldn’t finish that thought.  “It’s not an excuse though, I’m sorry for what I said. And for the record, I _very_ much meant what I said about choosing you any day of the week.”

 

“Thanks for the apology.” Cas leaned up and gave him a long, soft kiss on his lips.

 

“Any time, Cas.  So do you think you’re...?”

 

“I’m not sure.  I want Ash and Charlie here and do some digging into government files.  I think before we focus on me, we need to focus on you.  I know it’s terrifying but I think we need to find out if the programme worked.  I just want you to know, I will always love you, no matter what happens.  There is no outcome here where you lose me.”

 

“What if I don’t want to know how many _offspring_ I have?”

 

“Do you _want_ to not know?”

 

Dean sighed.  “No.  I wanna know. I wish my life wasn’t so fucked up.  I just want you.  I want babies with you, no one else.  I know we can’t forget what’s all happened, but, I just wish that I could get to pretend that we were a normal couple.  I hate that you have been through so much because of me.

 

Cas had no words for Dean’s wish so instead he kissed Dean again, slowly exploring his Alpha’s mouth.  The couple lazily made out for a while like a couple of love sick teenagers until Cas eventually pulled away, complaining of the overwhelming nausea again.


	49. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> "All of our regret will wash away somehow,  
> but I cannot forget,  
> the way I feel right now.
> 
> In these small hours,   
> these little wonders,  
> these twist and turns of fate."
> 
> 'Little Wonders' By the Hit Crew (tribute to Matchbox 20) from Movie Meet the Robinsons

To say that today was a big day was _not_ a small understatement.  Ash and Charlie had been drafted in to hack the most up to date and the most secure files the Alpha Sec had.  Today was the day the consequences for the boys kidnap, rape and the murder of their girlfriends was going to be known.  Today was the day Sam and Dean were going to learn if they were going to be parents.  The mood in Bobby’s house was tense.  The house was full to capacity which, as well as Dean had been doing, made him irritable and on edge, he felt more contained the more people around him.  He noticed Cas looking very pale and withdrawn today.  He couldn’t tell if it was because Cas was nervous about how many puppies Dean would be fathering, or whether it was because he was sick or whether it was... the other thing.  There was too much happening and Dean hadn’t been able to really _talk_ to Cas as much as he wanted.  He hasn’t been able to hold his Omega, to scent him, to kiss those full plump lips.  The last time they were intimate was at the tail end of their heat and rut, he missed the closeness and the bond that that created between them, he was convinced that just after they had Mated, Dean could almost instinctively just _know_ what Cas needed.  He missed that in depth connection.  Right now though, it had to go on the to do list, right under finding out if he was father to dozens of puppies.

 

Cas was suffering as quietly as he could, he didn’t want to make Dean’s day any worse by exposing him to the horror that was feeling less like a bug or a bad burrito and more and more like morning sickness.  Every hour, Cas was finding another imaginary job to do and sleeking away to the nearest toilet.  Cas could sense the unease in his Alpha, it didn’t occur to him that his nausea could be linked to Dean’s irritability.  No one had expected anything to do with pregnancy so soon so no one had been reading up the lore.  All Cas knew was that he felt awful, his Alpha was hurting and there was no one who could help him.

 

The prospect of the breeding programme being successful was a thought Sam had forced to the back of his mind.  There was only one person he wanted to have kids with and she was no longer alive.  Sam knew _if_ he was to be father to anyone born of the programme he couldn’t have anything to do with them.  It would hurt too much and it would bring back too many painful memories of Jess and her scent and how it was used against him.  Today was going to be tough but there was a part of him that was slowly glowing with hope.  Not hope for himself, that ship had sailed, but hope for Cas and Dean,  the more he watched Cas slip out of the room when he thought no one was watching, the more he was convinced that he was carrying Dean’s pup.  The pregnancy test Sam had purchased on the couple’s behalf was tucked away in his sock drawer until this current matter was dealt with.

 

“Ok, so I have been up _literally_ all night trying to crack into the Alpha Sec’s mainframe, which, by the way, is like strolling into Mordor holding the ring with a sign saying ‘hey! Look! I’ve got the ring!’ anyhoo, I managed to cover my tracks using many layers of encryption software.”

 

“Is she speaking English?”  Bobby leaned over to Ash and whispered.

 

“She’s getting there,” Ash drawled lazily, running a hand through his mullet hair.  He was exhausted, having stayed up all night with Charlie cracking this.  “Charlie, get on with it.”

 

“Right, computer babble, not required.  So basically, there was a whole load of reports from that professor guy who did the initial experiments with Sam and other Alphas,”

 

“Chuck Shurley?  He also did the video to help get Dean out.”  Cas defended the professor.

 

“Well, he said from the start the project wasn’t going to work.   There was a whole load of stuff about how the fertility levels of Omegas and Alphas are maximised when they are with their True Mates during a heat and rut cycle.  The less of those factors you have, the less likely impregnation will happen.  I guess, none of them were with their True mates during a natural Heat/Rut cycle, so the chances of it working were low.  Chuck also had some files he had encrypted, it has documents and emails where he explains to the project leader, some colonel Azazel that added that stress factors are likely to reduce the change of success.”  Charlie kept up her work for another few minutes, eyes furiously scanning the screen.  “This Email is the bosses suggesting the use of True Mate’s DNA to overcome some of the barriers.”

 

“Charlie?!”  Dean almost shouted, “How many Omegas are pregnant cos of us?!”

 

“Dean, Sam,  as far as I can tell...  None!  They have taken blood samples from the Omegas every week since they, you know, and not one of them has become pregnant.”  Charlie surveyed the screen again, just to be sure.  It was all there, the results had been clear, the whole project deemed an embarrassing failure and suggestions on damage control and how to bury the whole thing.  Charlie made a mental note to go back and pour a wikileak _all_ over that.

 

“Are you sure?”  Sam stood tall, his face questioning but still hopeful, the outcome was almost too good to be true.

 

“I’m sure.”  Charlie turned the screen for Sam to look at.  He couldn’t make sense of most of it but he read the bit saying there were no recorded cases of Omega pregnancy caused by the programme.

 

There was no celebration, there were no pats on the back, no thanks to any deity.  Everyone just nodded and got on with their day.  Cas and Dean were the only two people who reacted.  They shared a private moment together, a quick kiss and a look between them that exchanged a thousand words.  Already, Dean felt like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his earlier angst and feelings of dread had lifted.  He registered Cas’ fatigued look and caressed his Omega’s face, smoothing the worry lines with his finger.  “Cas, I think we need to get you to a doctor, or at least we need to get a pregnancy test?”

 

“Yeah,  can we go upstairs and talk first?”

 

“Sure.”  Dean was unsure what there was to talk about, surely they needed to find out what was going on before making any decisions.  He followed his Mate upstairs, Cas went to the bed and sat on the edge, subconsciously stroking his stomach.  The Alpha knelt on the floor between Cas’ legs and reached up to give him a slow, loving kiss.  “What’s up?”

 

“I just wanted to know, you know, before we find out one way or the other.  How’d you feel about having kids?  You know, with me?  I know it’s been mentioned but, really, what do you think?”

 

“Honestly?”  Dean had given this some thought over the last couple of days. 

 

“Of course.”

 

“If we found out you were pregnant today, it would be the happiest day of my life.  I want to build a life with you.  If you weren’t pregnant, well, then it would just give us more time to get things ready.  Either way, as long as I still can, I would love to put a bun in your oven.”  Dean gave Cas his best lopsided smirk, a wolfy grin that was infectious.  “What about you Cas?  Are _you_ ok with being pregnant?  From what I hear it’s no picnic.”  Dean was quickly becoming worried at the prospect of putting his Mate through something as tough as pregnancy.

 

“I was put on this planet to bear offspring.  According to many people, I am good for nothing else other than getting pregnant and popping out pups.  I spent most of my life fighting that destiny.  It’s something I never thought I would want, like, at all.  Being with you has changed everything.  I want _your_ pups, I just can’t think of anything more important.

 

“What about your job, being a reporter? A writer?  Changing the world?”  Dean was surprised, Dean knew how important Cas’ work was to him.  It was another thing Cas had been made to give up because of Dean, he was fired because of him.  Dean was hoping he could get back to writing, somehow.

 

“I don’t have a job now, I don’t want to go back to my old newspaper. You’re right, I was a reporter because I wanted to save the world.  I wanted to make a difference, I wasn’t doing that.  I was being put onto the rubbish stories no one else wanted.  I hated my job, I was miserable.  Your story was my first proper investigation, now thinking back, maybe it was fate pushing us together.  Then we met, _you_ became my world.  I saved you.  I made a difference.  Now I just want you and everything that a life with you brings.”  Cas smiled down at his Alpha, Dean’s hand covering his own on his belly. 

 

“You boys are breaking my heart!  Can you just get on with it and find out if I’m going to be a grandpappy?!”  Bobby shouted through the door.  The couple laughed as they stood.

 

“I think we need to get a test before Bobby explodes.”  Dean joked

 

“It’s ok!  I have one in my sock drawer!”  Sam’s voice yelled. 

 

“Ok, seriously, pregnant or not we are going to get our own place!  Can’t get any PRIVACY round here.”  Dean stroked Cas’ cheek where they stood and kissed along his jaw and down his neck scenting as he went, renewing his claim on his Mate, making sure everyone could smell him on his Mate.

 

“Let’s do it.”  Cas had to work hard not to get distracted by Dean’s ministrations.

 

“Move out or get a pregnancy test?”

 

“Both.”

 

After Sam had dropped the box containing a pregnancy test into a very confused looking Dean’s lap, the couple closed themselves away to find out their fate.  Three minutes later and the wait was killing Dean.  “Cas?  Hasn’t it showed up yet?”

 

“No!  You have to pee on it first.”

 

“Wait, What?  Why haven’t you pee’d yet!?”

 

“Because you’re standing there watching me and I get stage fright and this is kinda an important pee so excuse me if it’s taking it’s time!!!”  Cas snapped, only semi jokingly.  He, of course, has done his business in front of Dean, but this was different to the usual early morning bathroom rush.

 

Ten agonising minutes later the pair were huddled over the used stick and waited with baited breath.  As the two clear stripes showed up, Dean checked, double checked and triple checked the box to confirm the result.  “Holy shit Cas!  You’re pregnant!”  He stood there dumbly, staring at Cas’ face, then his still flat stomach, then back to his face.

 

“But how?”

 

“Just what Charlie said, we are True Mates, we were in a natural Rut/Heat.  Perfect pup pregnancy recipe.  You’re pregnant.”  Dean repeated, almost dumbstruck.

 

“ _We_ are pregnant.  _We_  are doing this.  Together.”

 

“You bet.”  Dean pulled Cas in for a hug, kissing and scenting the top of Cas’ head.  “My pregnant Omega, so perfect.  I love you so much”

 

They weren’t surprised when they went downstairs to find Bobby, Sam, Ash, Charlie and even Rufus sitting around the lounge looking at them expectantly.  The couple held hands, they considered torturing them with a long drawn out announcement, make them regret the invasion of privacy earlier.  Dean’s mind was still spinning at the news.  In the end, Dean grinned widely and said, “We are pregnant!”

 

_That_ was when the celebrations started.  Sam pulled Dean close for a crushing hug.  As Sam pulled away he had a tear that escaped, “I’m so happy for you Dean!”

 

“Thanks man, and you’re going to be an uncle!  Uncle Sammy!”  Dean gave his brother a hard pat on the shoulder and only managed to get one step away when he was hauled into another hug with Bobby.  The pair were passed around the room like a pair of dolls, receiving words of congratulations and well wishes.  It was a rare happy occasion, the smiles were wide and genuine, the laughter loud.

 

Cas hugged Charlie last, he looked into her eyes with a very serious expression, “Charlie, I just wanted to thank you.  Without you and Ash, none of this would be possible, or at the very best it would have taken much longer.  If there is anything I can ever do, just say.”

 

“Did we just become best friends?”  Charlie asked gleefully.  The group spent the rest of the day celebrating, Rufus and Bobby enjoyed a bottle of Johnny Walker blue label, apparently the older men had had a between them about whether Cas was pregnant.  Rufus handed over the bottle to Bobby with chagrin, it had a label attached to it, ‘Fine, you ass. You win for once. Enjoy, R.’  Sam, Ash and Charlie had a couple of beers each and were talking about geek stuff no one else in the room could understand.  

 

Dean passed on the beer, he sat on the floor, propped against the sofa where Bobby and Rufus sat, with Cas in his arms.  Dean wrapped his arms around and traced shapes on Cas’ still flat and toned stomach with his fingers.  Cas rested his head against Dean’s shoulder, he hummed with pleasure as Dean explored his torso.  For the first time that day, he wasn’t plagued with nausea, he and his Mate were back in tune with each other and everything seemed to actually be ok.  The couple quietly sat in their own little bubble and revelled in their news, surrounded by the only family any of them had ever wanted.  

_  
_


	50. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read ) Kudos :)
> 
> "Today is the greatest  
> Day I've ever known  
> Can't wait for tomorrow,  
> I might not have that long"
> 
> Willamette Stone - 'Today'
> 
>  
> 
> Big shout out in this chapter to Destieljunkie. She is a fab writer and beta reader.

“Cas!  You should not be using a damn ladder in your condition!”  Dean cried incredulously, Castiel was seemed determined to injure himself and Dean was running himself ragged trying to protect his Omega.

 

“Dean.  I’m two months pregnant, not an invalid.”  Cas loved that Dean was fulfilling his role as Alpha, he was.  It was just becoming a touch on the overbearing side and it was starting to ruffle Cas’ feathers a bit.  He was still completely fit and well, apart from when Dean was being ridiculous.

 

“But still, if there’s anything that needs doing, I can do it.  My knee’s fine now.  Jodie said I can get back to normal!” 

 

There was a small part of Cas that knew he was bubbling towards unreasonable, he had been irritated by Dean before sure, no couple were perfect, but this was big, this felt like a volcano about to erupt and Cas was powerless to stop it.  “IT’S A FRIGGIN’ LIGHT BULB, DEAN!  I CAN HANDLE IT!”

 

Living in close quarters with Bobby and Sam as well as an increasingly erratic Cas was testing Dean’s patience.  They had been looking for houses nearby but nothing was coming up with in their price range.  Dean needed to start bringing in money for the new place, Bobby had been great but his business had suffered because of Dean, he needed to get back out and get customers in.  Dean’s knee was getting much better but was still twinging and would buckle on occasion if he was pushing himself too hard in the garage.  He had progressed with the Impala and she was almost back up and running.  All three of these projects stretched him thin and he was _trying_ to look after Cas but the Omega was being stubborn.  “CAS!  I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!”  It came out louder than he had been wanting but his hackles were raised now, he was trying to do his best.

 

“I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP, DEAN!”  There was a part of Castiel that knew he was being hormonal and unfairly aggressive but there was the Cas from before he met Dean that had a firm grip of the wheel and determined to steer towards a horrific argument. 

 

“FINE!”  Those words hurt Dean, they felt like a slap across the face. 

 

“FINE!”  Cas stood defiantly still at the top of the ladder and watched as Dean stormed out, presumably out to the garage to work on his ridiculous car, Cas thought.  Not two minutes after their quarrel, Cas was overcome with nausea, the room span and Cas cursed his placement at the top of said ladder, he gingerly clambered down and raced to the small WC at the back of Bobby’s kitchen.  He just managed to get the toilet in time to see his breakfast in reverse.  There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the morning sickness.  It came on at any time of day when he was awake.  It was infuriating and impossible to predict.  It always made him feel exhausted and wanting to just crawl into Dean’s arms.  Cas hadn’t noticed that it was only ever when Cas and Dean had bickered that the nausea came on, today’s violent symptoms mirroring Cas’ outburst earlier. 

 

“Cas?  You ok?”  Cas raised his head from the toilet bowl to see the younger Winchester brother.

 

“Just a bit of morning sickness, it’ll pass.” 

 

“I heard you and Dean fighting...”  Sam had been hitting the Lore books hard, he was genuinely intrigued about male Omega pregnancies.  At first it was driven by a morbid curiosity, now he was trying to research the things neither Cas or Dean seemed interested in knowing, they seemed blissfully ignorant with their standard ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ books.  They were missing out on a host of weird symptoms, Sam had tried to get the pair of them to sit and read a lore book but nothing stuck.    “Have you noticed it’s only when you bicker that you feel sick?”

 

“Huh?”  Castiel was more focussed on trying to make the room stay still.

 

“And that as soon as you tell Dean you were sick you end up cuddling for like seven hours and you’re not bothered by sickness until the next time you bicker?”  Sam had been keeping a close eye on Castiel, again more out of curiosity rather than any thought that Dean wasn’t doing a good job.

 

“That makes no sense.” 

 

“Maybe if you and Dean read more on the lore it would.”  Sam helped Cas back up to his feet and gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.  “Stay close to that toilet, I’m gonna show you something...  Sorry in advance.”  Sam sauntered out of the kitchen towards the workshops.  He found Dean laying just inside the back seat of the Impala, feet on the floor and a sheen of sweat covering his face, his brother looked pale.  “Hey Dean.  Not looking too great there.” 

 

Dean raised his head, he hated the look of Sam’s face.  It was filled with sass and smugness  It was one he saw a lot of when they were growing up.  Sam knew something Dean didn’t and he was about to be educated.  Dean was not in the mood to be taught anything.  For some reason he felt just not right, it was vague and impossible to describe, he’d had it a couple times recently but nothing that overly concerned him. He had too many other things to worry about.  “Sam, not now man.” 

 

“Cas needs you.”  Sam stamped on Dean’s toes with a bit more force than he meant to, but that was the only way he could get the couple to understand in plain terms what was happening.

 

“OWW!  THE FUCK SAM!”  Dean sat bolt upright again, narrowly missing banging his head in the low roof of the car.

 

“Just go and see Cas you jerk!”

 

“Bitch!”  Dean grumbled about how he was going to kick Sam’s ass from here till next Tuesday after that little show, he headed back to the house to what Cas wanted.  He quickened the pace when he heard retching coming from the toilet.  “Hey, hey, hey, I got you.”  Dean knelt instantly and gathered his Omega into his arms, Cas felt clammy and shaky.  Cas had been having odd morning sickness at all hours of the day, it seemed to get better whenever Dean was around.

 

The feel of his Alpha’s arms around him instantly relaxed Cas, any anger forgotten.  He was just confused at what Sam was saying before he left and another wave of nausea hit him like a ton of bricks.  The sat entwined in the small W/C for a few minutes until Cas felt human enough to stand again.  Dean helped Cas into the chair in the kitchen, Sam stood looking mildly concerned but also quite smug.  “Sorry Cas, didn’t mean to make you _that_ sick,”

 

“What do you mean you made him sick?  What did you do to him?”  Dean looked aghast at his brother.  It was so unlike Sam to do anything like this, he wouldn’t hurt a fly usually.  Cas sat looking confused, still with a sheen of perspiration across his forehead but looking brighter.

 

“I hurt you.  It made Cas sick.”

 

“What?!”  The Alpha and the Omega questioned simultaneously.

 

Sam sighed heavily.  He grabbed the lore book from the living room and plopped it in front of the couple.  “There.  The connection between a male Omega and his Alpha runs to deep, when you add in pregnancy hormones, the Omega becomes attuned to the Alpha’s mood.  Kinda becomes a feedback loop, if the Alpha is angry or upset, the Omega gets nauseous, chucks up, the Alpha sees their Omega vulnerable, protective Alpha mode kicks in, Omega gets comforted by a now _not_ angry or upset Alpha.  The lore suggests it’s an inbuilt way of making sure the Omega and Alpha stay together, especially during pregnancy. The worst either the physical or emotional pain is, the more violent the Omega’s reaction.”

 

“ok so why doesn’t it work the other way round?  Surely if Cas was in trouble, I should know about it?”  Dean struggled to wrap his head around the information.  He didn’t notice he was stroking a hand through the dark mop of hair, standing just behind where Cas was sitting, resting his head against Dean’s hip bone. 

 

“I guess you’re not plagued by a flood of hormones like Cas is.”  Sam concluded his lecture for the day, “You guys should really read about this stuff, it has important information about, you know, the birth.”  Dean hadn’t thought that far ahead at all, he was so focussed on other things, getting a house, getting money, he should have been looking after his Omega properly, reading about something he thought he would never have to worry about.  He had never expected to actually meet his True Mate.  The familiar wave of self-doubt, frustration and loathing washed over him. 

 

“Dean,  I feel sick again.  What’s wrong?”

 

“What?!”  Dean was pulled from his slippery slope of thoughts as the pallor returned to Cas’ skin.  Sam’s lesson sunk in, he knelt on the floor between Cas’ knees, “Oh, Cas.  I’m sorry.  Just, should have been reading about this stuff sooner.”

 

“I should have been reading too, not climbing up ladders.  I’m sorry too.”

 

“So we should just not argue for the rest of the pregnancy huh?”  Dean gave his one sided smirk, the soft lines in the corners of his eyes crinkling upwards.

 

Cas’ face smoothed and softened the queasiness was passing again.  “Nope.” 

 

“Ok, you should go brush your teeth and then we’ll take the rest of the day to swat up about his stuff.”  Dean pecked Cas on the cheek and raised off the floor.  As Cas was in the bathroom, Dean got a blanket and some cushions from the living room and set up a space outside so they could enjoy the warm fall afternoon, there was a breeze in the air to keep the temperature comfortable.  he picked a spot close to the house, still drenched in sun, Dean propped himself against one of the only trees and closed his eyes and raised his face to the sun, enjoying the warmth against his skin, he could practically feel more freckles appearing as the seconds ticked by.  He felt a presence above him, he squinted one eye open and saw the silhouette or his Omega looking down on him, the branches casting their own patterns, almost like wings.  “You know, from here you look like an angel.”

 

As he knelt down to join his Alpha on the rug, Cas chuckled, “Don’t be silly Dean.  I’m no angel.”

 

“You’re _my_ angel, you saved me.”  The lore book was promptly forgotten as Dean leaned over and planted a loving, slow, smooth kiss on Cas’ lips, he could taste the mint from the toothpaste still. 

 

After a rotten morning, the warm afternoon, sitting outside, kissing Dean was just bliss.  Dean seemed to be taking his sweet time with the kiss, Cas deepened the kiss and chuckled at Dean’s groan in response.  Within seconds Dean was astride Cas’ hips, low enough not to put any pressure on his stomach and the little pup inside.  Cas couldn’t help but run his hands up the inside of Dean’s t-shirt to feel the increasingly toned torso.  The manual work that came with fixing up the Impala had only added to Dean’s already almost unnatural allure.  The shirt was becoming damp with the heat, Cas quickly slipped it over Dean’s head.  In the bright sun, Dean’s scars from Alistair were glinting where the skin hadn’t fully healed, the scrawled name was there for all to see.  Cas ran a hand over the damaged skin, the same way he always did when Dean was topless, to show he wasn’t scared, he wasn’t intimidated, that he was unaffected by the scars. 

 

Dean watched the hand exploring his chest with interest.  Cas always managed to make the scars seem ok, like they were no big deal, Cas did this little display of acceptance every time they were close.  Dean was almost able to look at himself in a mirror without a shirt on and not feel dirty or used.  “Was thinking about getting a tat to cover it.”  Dean lifted Cas’ hand from his chest and lifted it to his face, he kissed each knuckle gently, and a smile on his lips.

 

“What were you thinking?” 

 

“Well, he ruined my first tattoo that me n Sam both got after the war, so I want to get that redone, but maybe in the middle , then a pair of wings, for you.  Cos you _are_ my angel.  I love you Cas.”  Dean swooped down and passionately kissed Cas, pulling him upright and removing the Omega’s shirt so they were both bare chested.  Dean could start to feel the swelling at the base of his cock start to swell with anticipation, the smell of Omega pheromones was thick in the air.

 

“HEY!  YOU TWO!  NO RUTTING IN MY GODDAM GARDEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAM DAY!”  Bobby shouted from across at the workshop.  The reprimand had both men leaping away from each other like guilty, horny teens.  All arousal instantly dried up and chased away.  The couple laughed, Dean used one of the pillows to rest his back against the tree, Cas wiggled in between his legs and rested his bare back against the Alpha’s still shirtless chest.  Together they read a few chapters on male Omega pregnancies, all about the enhanced Alpha/Omega bond during pregnancy and how to avoid the nausea.  They read about the birth itself and how it would work for a Male Omega.  It made for uncomfortable reading but it outlined the obvious, that male’s didn’t have the same ‘birthing equipment’ as females did and that it was essentially a caesarean section that was required to get the pup out safely.  Natural births had been attempted when male Omega pregnancies were more common but they sometimes resulted in the pup going into distress, the Omega having severe postpartum bleeding and peroneal tearing.  The couple made a number of plans, first of all was to find a male Omega specialist who could confirm what the lore was saying.  They also agreed that they _really_ needed a place of their own, they agreed that Cas could take over house viewing duties whilst Dean focused on getting more work for the garage.

 

Within two weeks, things were starting to gather momentum, Cas and Dean had had an appointment with Dr Gibb, the only Omega male specialist in Kansas.  She had told them that they were doing everything right and that, on the whole, the lore books were right and were a good guide to follow as opposed to the general pregnancy books for females.  She was pleased with Cas’ health and congratulated Dean on being such a good Alpha.  Dean loved the doctor, he walked out the hospital bristling with pride.

 

As well as that, Dean had finished fixing up the Impala and had driven around town, showing prospective clients his work.  It was working well and bookings for the workshop were building with each day.  Dean was kept busy most days in the workshop, working like a squirrel in winter, trying to scrape enough money for a house.  Cas would come out with lunch every day and make sure Dean stopped to rest and take a break for an hour.  They had got an old loveseat from the local flea market and set it up in Dean’s workspace so Cas didn’t have to sit on the hard floor.  When Dean went back to work for the afternoon, Cas sometimes stayed and watched in wonder as Dean brought life back to old rust buckets that should surely be condemned in his opinion.  One day Cas was just about to go back to the house when he heard commotion from the makeshift office that was usually a cupboard.  “BALLS!”

 

“Everything ok, Bobby?”  Cas popped his head round the door.

 

“Can’t make a lick of sense of Rufus’ filing system, I needed to take care of the few customers actually coming in when Dean was, recovering, Rufus was on office duty and he’s screwed it up real good.”  There was very little difference in the state of the office compared to Bobby;’s living room, paper and books everywhere and no real order to anything.  The phrase pot, kettle, black, sprang to mind.  “And thanks to Dean there’s work enough here for three mechanics but I’m stuck in here with this mess.

 

“I can do it.”

 

“What?  Fix cars?”

 

“No.  The office bit.  I’m sure I can fix it all up.  You can get back to mending cars.”  Since then Castiel had kept himself occupied with sorting and filing and invoicing.  It felt good to contribute, he had been feeling a bit lazy with Dean working and him at home doing nothing.  It kept a nice equilibrium.  Bobby insisted on paying him for his work which went along side Dean’s wages in  the house fund. 

 

The increased wages had meant when a small, but perfectly functioning three bed-roomed house came up for sale just two miles from Bobby’s, the couple were able to put down enough of a deposit and a loan from the bank had helped with the rest.  It needed the walls painting and the hardwood floors varnished but it was all minor work and Cas had fallen in love with it instantly.  It was still just outside Lawrence, the next field over backed into houses on the outskirts of the town.  The house had its own track up to the house and a pond just on the edge of their boundary.  When they went to explore their small plot, Dean grumbled about the bugs, worrying of they would be a problem.  Cas had to educated him about Dragonflies and how they normally were found around areas of water.  The couple walked the circumference of the pond, they found a small, hand carved sign, must have been made out of left over planks.  It had weathered but still readable writing,

 

‘Dragonfly pond'

 

“Wonder if some kids used to play here?”  Cas pondered, he envisioned young boys, racing down here to meet, as if by secret.

 

“Maybe, C’mon let's go home.”  Dean squeezed Cas hand and they walked hand in hand towards the house. Maybe if the boys weren’t so distracted they might have noticed a grey car passing them twice as they walked home.  The couple might have noticed the driver slowing down as he passed the pair, as if trying to decided if he could actually believe his .


	51. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (If you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
>  
> 
> My goodness It's Wednesday already! Doesn't time fly!!!
> 
> Get the vold showers at the readyyyyy!

Over the next few weeks, Sam had been with Charlie and Ash, fighting the good fight.  Together, they had taken down the Alpha Sec completely, rendering it obsolete by pointing out that the Alpha Sec’s own experiments and last ditch attempts couldn’t save the Alphas and that Alphas _were_ going extinct after their generation had passed on.  Once the Alpha Sec had been disbanded, Sam took it upon himself to investigate the rest of the Government’s activities to make sure nothing like what had happened to him could ever happen again.  He was still also helping Alphas who were left scarred emotionally and physically from their ordeals.  The ‘campaign was a huge success and raised awareness not only for the mental health of the Alphas but raised awareness for mental health in general.

 

There was a flurry of activity in Lawrence too, Dean had agreed with Bobby that he could take afternoons off every second day to work on the house to get it fixed up and ready to move into.  Dean had had to fix most of the electrics and some of the old plumbing needed replaced.  Cas had taken to decorating with aplomb and had grand plans for colour schemes that made Dean’s head spin.  Fortunately, after painting one single wall, Cas had thought better of his elaborate plans and went for a more simplistic approach.   Dean had called Sam and asked for help with the heavy work, and to help Cas with the decorating.  Dean shared a brotherly moment with Sam when he showed Sam ‘his room’ offered to let his younger brother pick out the colour for the walls.  

 

When the house was eventually finished, Cas was over three months pregnant, a small bump was beginning to show through the jumpers he wore.  The bickering between Dean and Cas was very sporadic now and was usually worked out long before it got to the stage of Cas feeling nauseous.  Instead it was replaced by a lot more kissing, fondling and general kanoodling.  Dean and Cas hadn’t rutted or been in heat since Cas had fallen pregnant, there was no need to with the pup already successfully growing inside Castiel’s expanding belly.

 

Regardless, Cas seemed to be insatiable when it came to everything in the bedroom.  They hadn’t knotted since Cas had fallen pregnant, Dean had been too worried about scaring the poor pup before it was even born.  Cas had been dropping no so subtle hints for Dean but so far he had no luck. 

 

One night Sam had gone back to Bobby’s to give the couple some space, they sat on the sofa watching TV.  Dean was propped against arm and the back of the sofa and Cas nestled between his legs.  Dean held a hand protectively over Cas small bump, it was ever so subtle but Dean could feel the slight changes.  Cas started to smell different, sweeter.  Dean hadn’t felt the need to knot or rut, but with Cas’ changing scent, his innuendos and his shameless flirting, Dean was feeling powerless to fight his growing attraction.  He still held his worries about his pup growing inside Cas and how it might feel about an intruder.  He knew sometimes the Alpha instincts could take over and Dean didn’t want hurt Cas, or his pup.  Dean was miles away in his thoughts when Cas spoke.

 

“DEAN!”

 

“Huh, sorry...”

 

“I said, I think we should have sex tonight.”  Cas kept his gaze forward.  He missed the closeness that came with a knot.  Being tied together with something like that

 

“Cas!  Don’t beat around the bush, say what you really mean!  Jeeze.!”

 

“I miss you, Dean.”  Cas turned in Dean’s arms so he was kneeling, nuzzling his face into his mate’s shoulder.

 

“I’m right here, Cas.  I haven’t gone anywhere.”  Dean could feel his resistance sliding.  When Cas became needy and nuzzled like that, Dean would have done anything for the man.  He would have brought him the moon to make him happy.

 

“I miss _you._   I miss you wanting me _that_ way.  I know you don’t _need_ to rut or knot but...  maybe we could just try?  Please?”  Cas pawed at Dean’s shirt, scrunching it in his hands to pull Dean flush against him and into a desperate, searching kiss.

 

“Shit, Cas.  I’m sorry!  I didn’t...”  Dean felt a pang of guilt he didn’t realise he was making Cas feel like this.  The Omega was still the most beautiful thing Dean had ever laid eyes on, that would never change.  He was so wrapped up with how he felt about having sex with a pregnant person he didn’t stop to think that Cas might be feeling rejected, unloved, unattractive.

 

“No!  Dean I don’t want your apologises!  I just want you!”  Cas interrupted before Dean could blame himself for something else. 

 

“I want you too.  My God!  Do I want you.  I’m just nervous, don’t wanna hurt you.”  Dean whispered against Cas’ lips.

 

“I have an idea.”  Cas stood, held out his hand in invitation and gave Dean such a dirty, seductive grin that Dean could already feel his cock fill.  “Come with me.”

 

Dean took Cas’ hand and followed the Omega to their bedroom.  As soon as they were in the bedroom Cas pushing their mouths together again.  Within minutes the sweet scent of Cas’ arousal filled Dean’s senses, he took over the control of the kiss.  It turned more passionate, more bruising.  He planted heavy kisses across his partner’s jaw line and down his neck to the bite mark that had long since healed into a mark of mutual belonging, he worried at the mark, sucking at it until it was red and shining with spit.  The whimpering keening noises from Cas only fuelled Dean’s need, he was fully hard in his jeans now, needing release.  He teased the shirt over Cas’ head, running a hand over the slight bump, he couldn’t help but smile into the skin he was kissing. 

 

The way Dean could hold his instincts and control his actions amazed Cas, he wasn’t the traditional Alpha Cas was terrified of being bound to, no.  Dean was taking it slow, letting Cas set the pace but still took control, they were a partnership, they were equals.  Cas’ hands explored anywhere they could reach, he lifted the shirt covering lean, toned muscles and ran a finger around the top of Dean’s jeans, causing a guttural groan of need to slip from his Mate.  He then practically clawed the shirt open and stripped the Alpha of his plaid and the t-shirt underneath.

 

The Alpha guided the Omega to the bed, never breaking his ministrations until Cas’ knees hit the bed, he sank down and pushed himself into the middle.  Dean climbed in lithely and crawled towards his mate, muscles contracting under the skin , now shining with sweat.  Dean leant over the Omega and ground there erections together, both still trapped within their denim prisons.  Cas moaned at the friction, clenching his fingers through the sheets.  Dean worked the button on the jeans and within seconds the Omega was completely naked under his Alpha.

 

Dean didn’t need told twice, he gently bent his Omega’s legs up to get good access to the fluttering hole, already leaking slick that he was just aching to taste.  He lapped around the tight hole, causing a shameful groan from above.  Dean pushed his tongue into the whole and worked it open, dipping in and out, circling it inside until he felt he could add in a finger.  The noises Cas made caused a delightful conflict, Dean wanted to draw this out, make the whimpering, moaning soundtrack last longer, on the other hand his dick was still confined and was starting to ache now.  Dean settled for replacing his tongue with another finger and scissored his fingers, stretching Cas enough to accommodate his girth.  Minutes passed, Cas was breathless, his eyes shining and lust-blown, Dean was about to take his own jeans off when Cas grabbed at his shoulder.  “Wait!”

 

“What?  What is it Cas?  Did I-?”  Dean didn’t get a chance to finish the question, Cas used all of his power to push up and knock an arm propping Dean up away so that the alpha was on his back.  Cas climbed so that he was on top of Dean, gently pinning his legs in place.

 

“Dean, is this ok?  I thought, in this position, you can go as hard as you like, little pup can’t get squished, but if it’s not good for you...”

 

The flashing memory of Omega after Omega flashed in front of Dean’s eyes.  It threatened to ruin the moment all together and wither away his arousal.  Soft, plump lips against his pulled him from his traitorous thoughts.  Dean took a long look at _his_ Omega, beautiful sapphire eyes, lean, strong muscles and a pup, _his_ pup growing inside.  It all pushed any other memories or images far away.  “Cas, anything you do is good for me!”  Cas smiled wickedly and set about freeing Dean’s erection. 

 

Dean watched with wide eyes as Cas reached between his own legs and coated his hand in his own slick, with the same hand he grasped Dean’s throbbing flesh, moving up and down along the length twisting at the top, making the Alpha thrown his head back into the pillow with a delicious, moan.  Cas moved forwards until he was right above Dean’s cock, he brought the head up to his entrance and slowly lowered himself down, using small gyrations to ease himself down, he still felt tight, but in a good way.  Once he was fully seated on Dean , he swirled his hips, Dean was already coming apart below him, gasping Cas’ name and a string of profanities, wordless noises of pleasure and declarations of love. 

 

The feeling of Cas riding him was something Dean never could have imagined.  It was just too good, Dean was almost convinced it wasn’t real.   He pushed his hands up Cas’ thighs pushing his fingers into the flesh, just to prove to himself that this was real, Cas was real.  His hands moved higher up to Cas’ hip bones, grasping tightly, he looked up into heavily lidded blue eyes for consent, with a small nod, Dean thrust up with what movement he had, both the men practically came then and there at the sensation.  Dean could feel Cas’ prostate and aimed every thrust against it.  He set up a fast pace, knowing neither of them could hold on for very long.  Dean felt the knot start to tighten and swell.   Within seconds he was shooting his come into Cas, his knot tying them together. 

 

As soon as Cas felt Dean pop his knot, Cas came untouched all over Dean’s stomach.  His mouth a prefect O shape and he moved to pull the aftershocks from Dean, drawing out the Alpha’s orgasm for as long as he possibly could.  They collapsed together, both exhausted but fully sated, linked together.  “Well, that was new.”  Was all Dean could muster.

 

Cas had to laugh at the goofy, post climax, tired grin spread across Dean’s face.  “Well, when I’m all gross and huge and you have to give me sympathy love that might be the only position we can manage!”

 

“You could _never_ be gross.  You’re too cute.” 

 

“You’re just saying that!”

 

“I’m not.  You’re my beautiful, perfect Omega.  I love you.” 

 

“I love you, too.”  Cas traced the line of Dean’s jaw, letting the rough stubble tickle his finger tip.  Cas took the time to gaze lovingly into the deep, sparkling, jade eyes. 

 

“You know, I get it, why you’re the one.” Dean mumbled, already half asleep.

 

 Cas smiled at the tender words and planted one soft kiss against his Alpha’s lips, “How’s that?” 

 

“You _are_ perfect.  You make me whole, you take all the broken bits and stick ‘em back together.  Even now, just like that, you made it good.”  Cas smiled as Dean’s breathing evened out and started gently snoring.  He made himself comfortable in the strong arms surrounding him and chased Dean into the world of dreams.


	52. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> "Maybe I should let him go....   
> Not until he loves me."
> 
> Killpop by Slipknot
> 
>  
> 
> ***Surprise Saturday Update****

It was a cooler Fall evening, Dean had a beer in hand after a hard day’s work, things were crazy busy at the garage.  It was great for both Dean and Bobby, business had never been better, but it made for exhausting work and Dean was struggling to keep his eyes open.   He was reclining on the sofa watching Dr Sexy M.D.  It was both his and Cas’ favourite show, but Cas had a habit of guessing plot lines or asking too many questions so Dean would sneakily watch it first in peace and watch it again with Cas the next day.  His Mate was out grocery shopping for the week, Dean couldn’t wait for Cas to come home.  They hadn’t seen each other since morning, it was unusual for the couple to be separated for such a long time.  Cas had been kept busy in the office all day and was going straight from work to the store, Dean had had to do a visit to someone’s house with the truck to get their car, turned out to be a quick fix and had just taken the truck home.  It was a big milestone when Dean allowed Cas to drive the Impala, he had had to pass a Dean-level driving test before he was allowed in the car unsupervised. 

Dean allowed himself to become lost in his reminiscing, as a person, he had come so far since the terrified, abused, no good Alpha he was this time last year.  He had come leaps and bounds since his abduction and the facility.  He was strong now, Cas gave him the strength and the purpose to be everything he could be.  Without he wouldn’t have anything that he could see as he looked around his living room.  With Dean lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear a car that definitely _not_ the Impala pull up outside the door.  He didn’t hear the door being quietly pried open, he didn’t hear the footsteps approaching until they were too close to miss.  Dean turned to see his intruder just in time to feel the impact to the side of his head.  It felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks, he was knocked from the sofa, Dean grabbed the side of his head, there was ringing in his ears and a thudding that felt his brain was trying to explode.  Dean tried his best to scramble to his feet, the room wouldn’t stop spinning and his legs just wouldn’t work, darkness was starting to fade into his peripheral vision.  With what consciousness he had left, Dean grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and typed ‘Al’ and pressed send to the first contact on his list before the device was ripped from his hand and smashed in front of his face.  The blurred vision took over and Dean slipped into unconsciousness.

 

A slap to the face brought Dean back into the room, he tried to sooth his red cheek but found his hands bound behind his back with cable ties.  The restrictions made the Alpha instincts kick in and immediately the world sharpened into focus, a scan down his body and Dean found his ankles were tied together in a similar fashion.  He was leaning against the sofa, there was someone standing in the kitchen, the liquor cupboard was open, a bottle of whiskey on the counter.  Dean instantly recognised the back and shoulders of his captor.  “Alistair.”

 

The man turned around slowly.  He held a tumbler of whiskey, rolling the liquid inside the glass.  Alistair’s expression betrayed the calm movements, his eyes were wild and wide.   His grin was even more sickening than in the facility.  As the man moved closer to Dean, he would see the man had aged impossibly for only a few months, there were much more lines and the beard was thinner, more grey than Dean remembered.  “Dean, Dean, Dean.  I’ve waited a long time for this.”  Alistair bent down to the younger man’s level and traced a finger down the side of Dean’s face, the side he had clubbed.  Dean could feel partially congealed blood smear down his face, he pulled away with what force he could, disgusted by the gesture.  The bloody hand gripped him by the chin and forced eye contact with Alistair.  “You know how long I waited to get you alone.  Your Omega bitch is clingy.”

 

“How did you find me?”  Dean was bristling with rage, he was in full Alpha mode.  His wrist strained at the ties with little luck, only getting the circulation cut off to his hands every time he pulled.

 

“Well, after the _incident_ at the facility, I was forced to go into hiding.  Your bitch and your overgrown brother _will_ pay for that by the way.  I spent _months_ concealed, you hid well too though didn’t you.  Couldn’t find any record of you, didn’t know if you would run as far as you could or whether you would hide in plain sight.”  Alistair stood and lazily paced the floor in front of Dean, lost in his monologue.  “So I started in the place it all started, Lawrence, Kansas.  It took a few weeks, I was just about to give up, then I saw you and your little bitch walking up a path to your hole of a house.  Then it was just a waiting game.”

 

Unease grew with in Dean, “What are you waiting for?”

 

“Well, the bitch will be back soon I imagine...”

 

“Stop.  Calling.  Him.  That.”   Dean growled, the man before him sparked no fear, there was no cowering, there was no shivering, it was just pure, guttural anger and protective instincts at work.

 

“The BITCH will be here soon, I have a present for him.”  Alistair reached to his belt and pulled out the hand gun and checked the magazine.  “Then I’m sure Sam will be round tomorrow morning after neither of you turn up to work, then ‘bang’ goes your brother” Alistair mock fired the gun.  The loss of rational thought was clear to see.  “You broke so beautifully when you _thought_ everyone you loved was dead, just think how you’ll be when you actually _watch_ everyone you love die.  Then, only then, will you be mine forever.” 

 

Between Alistair’s coveting gazes, Dean frantically scratched his ties against one of the nails sticking out of the sofa legs.  Castiel had worried about someone catching their leg, the sofa was second hand but Dean had cleaned it up and had forgotten about the nail.  He was so thankful he hadn’t remembered to remove it.  Dean worked away at his bonds until he felt the ties _almost_ give.  He’d be able to pull his hands free at the opportune time.  He had a plan and this time, his plan _would_  work, because his pup and his mate’s life depended on it and that was enough to chase the fear away and replaced it with determination.  Dean used what limited acting skills he had, however, to portray the opposite, “Ok, ok!  Alistair you win!  Please, just take me, leave Cas and Sam, I’ll come quietly.”  Dean wasn’t sure if he would be winning any Oscars but for the moment, Alistair seemed pleased.

 

“You really do break easy, Dean. Just like I remember.  So good!  Hmm, I’ll take you somewhere no one will ever be able to find you.”  Alistair’s smile was deranged.  “Mine.  Forever.”  He went to the kitchen briefly and came back yielding a knife, it made Dean on edge and sit up straighter, he would put his best effort into fighting with his legs bound if he had to.  “Oh!  I nearly forgot, do you have my mark still on you?  Let’s have a look.”  Alistair knelt in front of Dean and used the knife to pop open the buttons on the Henley shirt he was wearing the knife then tore down his torso, just missing the skin.  The sharp metal edge was used to push back the fabric.  “You covered up my mark?”

 

“I’m sorry!”  Dean mock pleaded, making his voice sound as desperate as he could.  Dean had managed to find someone willing to tattoo over such substantial scarring and the effect was unbelievable, on his chest was an anti-demon sigil engulfed on both sides by a pair of wings across his chest.  it had taken a number of hours but the pain at the time was drop in the ocean compared to what was there before.  Now, however the knife edge was pressed against the tips of the wings, not quite cutting but a small movement by either Dean of Alistair would change that quickly.  

 

“I’ll carve my own masterpiece don’t worry!” 

 

 

Cas stood in the aisle and rolled his eyes, of course they had no pie.  That was just his luck today.  He hadn’t seen Dean all day and he wanted to surprise his Alpha with pie when he came home.  He paced through the shop and gathered the other things the couple needed.  Cas found himself in the baby supplies section, he didn’t tell Dean but he often took a detour just to look at all the stuff that in a few short months they would be surrounded by.  Cas cradled his small bump with one hand, he was lost in thought, marvelling how perfect his life turned out to be, despite the rocky circumstances he met his Alpha in.  All of a sudden, it was as if Castiel had been punched in the stomach, he was floored by the intensity of the feeling, a wave of nausea crashed over him.  He clawed his way to his feet, abandoned the trolley and made for the rest rooms.  He just made the toilet bowl before throwing up in spectacular fashion.  Cas hadn’t felt like this in a long time, he almost forgot what it meant, his brain wasn’t able to think straight in his panic.  It felt like he was retching forever, eventually he managed to get his breathing under control.  There was still a nausea sitting deep in his stomach that wasn’t shifting.  Cas remembered the day they found out that Dean’s distress triggered Cas’ sickness.  He pulled out his phone to call Dean to check he was ok.  That’s when he saw the unopened text message, two letters ‘Al’ on the screen.  Cas could practically feel the blood drain from his face, he pressed the buttons to call Dean, hoping that it was all just one big misunderstanding.  When the call went straight to Dean’s voicemail, Cas knew there was something very wrong.  Castiel dialled Sam’s number as he raced out of the store, shopping forgotten.  Sam answered on the third ring. 

 

“Hey Cas, what’s up?”

 

“Sam.  Dean is in trouble!”  Cas was already getting breathless as he hit the parking lot and headed for the Impala. 

 

“What’s he done now?”  Sam’s voice was cautious but still held a joking tone.

“No you don’t understand!  It’s Alistair!  He’s got Dean!”  Saying it out loud somehow made it more real, Cas was struggling to hold himself together, his brain unhelpfully supplying every worst case scenario possible.

 

“Ok.   Cas.  Slow down.  What do you mean Alistair has Dean?  How do you know?”  On the other end of the phone, Sam was already grabbing his jacket.  This wasn’t allowed to happen, not to Dean, not after he had got his happy ever after. 

 

Castiel hauled the Impala door open and slumped inside.  “I’m at the store, I just suddenly felt sick.  Dean sent me a text with the letter ‘Al’ and now he’s not answering his cell.  Sam, there’s something very wrong.  I can _feel it._ ”  Cas was close to tears.  There was a crushing sense of foreboding.  His True Mate was in danger and Cas was at the other side of town!

 

“Hey, hey, hey!”  Sam could hear Cas falling apart over the phone, “Dean needs you now!  Look it’s probably nothing, I’ll head over now, I’m sure Bobby’s got a working car somewhere.  I’ll call you when I get there.  Just hang tight.”  Sam hung up the phone and searched for some keys.  Bobby was out of town on an errand for the shop and Sam knew all the cars in the workshop were in various states of disrepair and unusable.  Sam found one set and flew outside to the rust bucket they belonged to.  The engine startled, coughed and spluttered but never fully started up.  Despite Sam’s pleading and cursing, the car stubbornly sat unmoving.  Sam leapt out of the car and started the two mile run to his brother’s house.

 

Sam was right, Cas needed to get a grip, he saved Dean once, he could do it again.  He _needed_ to do it again, for the pup.  Cas couldn’t raise the little one alone, he needed his Alpha.  That though alone was enough of a push for Cas to throw the car into gear and drive home frantically.  He passed the entrance to Bobby’s house, minutes later he had to squint to confirm the shape running in jeans and boots was in fact, Sam.  “SAM!  What’s going on?!”

 

“There were no cars at Bobby’s.”   Sam breathlessly let out, he jumped into the car, “Drive.” 

 

It was the moment Dean had waited for, Alistair cut the ties binding his ankles, the ties fell away and Dean used every last bit of his Alpha strength to pull the ties around his wrists, they came away with little effort thanks to weakening them with the nail.  Dean kicked out at the knife wielding hand and sent the blade to the other side of the room.  He stood quickly, Alistair had recovered from the hit and was standing crouched, ready to pounce like a predator, fixated on his prey.  Alistair lunged forward and threw a punch at Dean’s jaw.  Dean sidestepped enough that it was more of a graze than a full blow.  The men exchanged punches, Dean was fuelled by protective instinct as well as all the buried rage that Dean had pent up towards the man in front of him.  His hits were hard and sure.  Alistair managed a few glancing shots, giving Dean a fat lip and a cut to his eyebrow but nothing more.  Dean used his attacker being off balanced to give him a push toward the wall.  Dean heard a solid thud as the other man’s head connected with the solid wall.  Alistair slip down the wall looking dazed.  Dean was breathing heavily, Alistair looked beaten, Dean needed to get to a phone so he could call the cops, he needed to get some duct tape or something if he was going to wait for the authorities.  To make sure Alistair didn’t escape again.  Dean heard a clicking behind him, Dean slowly turned to see the barrel of the hand gun Alistair brandished earlier pointing straight at him.  It was inches away from his abdomen, if he was shot it would be a slow, painful death.  Alistair’s eyes were bright, wild, almost unseeing.  He spit out a mouthful of blood and sneered in a sickening way that only he could, “Dean, Dean, Dean, how disappointing, and after you showed such promise.  If I can’t have you, no one can.”

 

“Why me?  What did I do?  Why do you want to hurt me so much?”

 

Alistair laughed manically, but without humour.  “That first day back at basic training you disrespected me.  That put you on my radar. Since then, I’ve been addicted to you, to your suffering.  You’re such a martyr, you make yourself so easy to hurt.  You are my supplier and I just can’t get enough.”  Dean pulled his arm back for a punch, then everything went black.

 

The Impala squealed in protest as Cas hurled into their drive, there was a grey car parked in the driveway, it was the most unremarkable car possible but it twigged in Cas’ brain.  “I’ve seen that car before.  It’s passed us a few times, when we first moved in.  That’s how he found us!”

 

“I’m calling the cops.”  Sam muttered, already dialling 911.  He calmly recited the address, the details surrounding Alistair. He was just about to hung up when a gun shot rang out across the fields.  “Shit!!!  There’s been a gunshot!  Send an Ambulance!!”

 

“DEAN!!”  Cas screamed and closed the distance between the car and the house, he threw the door open and surveyed the room in front of him.  Dean was laying on his side, facing away from the front door, away from Castiel.  A very bloodied Alistair was propped against the wall, his head was hanging forward, the man was either dead or very unconscious, blood dripping from his mouth that was hanging open.  There was blood on the wall behind his head too.  Cas went straight to Dean and knelt beside him, “Dean?”  Cas touched Dean to try and shake him awake, just above his hip, Cas nearly threw up when he felt and saw the blood coating his fingers.  “Oh god Dean!  Please, don’t be dead, don’t die, I need you!  We all need you!  Please!”  Cas’ voice broke into sobs of pleading.

 

The pain was actually not that bad, the sharp searing pain felt ok, it meant he was alive.  The nanosecond the gun went off Dean thought it was the end.  He thought he would never see his love again and that was almost too much to bare.  He heard fractured pleas and whimpered words of love.  It was the gravelly, beautiful voice Dean had bound himself to in every way.  The blackness of the shock wore off, the pain became worse but Dean clung to it, as if it was his path back to his mate.  “Cas?”

 

“Yes, I’m here!  Dean!  Oh god I thought you were...  just stay with me.”   Cas sniffed, relief washing over him.  “You got shot, where does it hurt?”

 

“I think it’s just my side.  Ahh!  Sonovabitch!”  Dean winced as he lifted the side of his shirt to see the damage, as he thought, the bullet sliced through the muscle and skin just above his left hip bone, but nothing more serious.  “Cas you gotta put pressure on it, stop the bleeding.”  Dean had to gently pull Cas’ chin to make his mate turn away from the bloody mess of his torso.  He wordlessly raised up and went in search of something to put on top of it.

 

“Dean.  You’re alive!”  Sam scrambled through the door and made his way over. 

 

“Yeah.  Creep can’t shoot for shit.  Keep an eye on him.  Get some duct tape or something to hold him down.

 

“You mean he’s not...”

 

“No, he’s not dead.  That would be too merciful.  He deserves to spend the rest of his life thinking about what he did and how he failed on every level.”  Sirens were getting louder in the background.  Cas returned with a towel, kneeling down and gently placing the towel over the wound.  He put firm pressure over the cut as instructed.  “Thanks, Cas.”


	53. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gosh Wednesday again?!?!
> 
> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> Quick chapter today lads.

The hospital lights were hurting Dean’s eyes.  It was very early morning,  he was exhausted but was definitely not getting any sleep here. Dean was told he was to stay in overnight for observations, much to his disgust.  He had been patched up in the ER and ready to go home with his mate.  Dean sat on the edge of his bed, still in the bloody clothes he arrived in, a huge section cut off where the surgeon stitched him up.  After his last admission to hospital, he was dammed if he was going to behave like an actual _patient_.  Sam had gone an hour ago to go home, have a sleep, get fresh clothes and some non-hospital food.  He wouldn’t be back for another hour or so.  Cas was curled up in the chair, looking very uncomfortable but had somehow managed to fall asleep.  Dean gingerly stood and leaned over his Mate.  “Cas?”  Dean smiled as Cas looked up at him through heavy eye lashes.

 

“Dean?”  Cas asked groggily, his neck hurt from the position.  “Are you ok?”

 

“I want to go home.” 

 

Cas looked up at the clock, it was three in the morning.  “You can’t.  Three AM doesn’t count as overnight.  Please don’t make a fuss, they just want to make sure you are healthy.  I want to make sure you’re healthy too.”

 

“I’m not making a fuss, you’re making a fuss.”  Dean grumbled.  “You should use the bed, you’ll get stiff sitting like that.  You might squish our pup.”  Dean smiled to show he was teasing.  But couldn’t fully stifle his yawn.

 

“Dean, haven’t you slept?  You need to rest.”   Dean simply shook his head.  It might have seemed irrational but every time went to sleep when he was in hospital, he was never one hundred percent sure he had the strength to wake up again, so broken he was.  He didn’t want to go back to that, despite how different things were now compared to then.

 

A heavy sigh escaped Cas’ chest, he could see the painful memories etched on his Mate’s face.  “I know how you feel about hospitals, but staying awake isn’t going to make Sam re-appear any sooner.  Please.  Lie down.”

 

A smiled pulled at the corner of Dean’s mouth, “Only if you lie down with me.”

 

“Dean, I’m not allowed in the bed.”  Cas tried but he was very tired, and any opportunity to lie next to Dean was almost impossible to resist.

 

“Those are my terms.”  Dean could tell he had won the battle, Cas rolled his eyes but a smile spread across his face as he stood.  Dean pulled Cas by his belt loops and pushed their mouths together. 

 

“You look like you’ve just stepped out of a horror movie.  Let’s take this off.”  Cas very carefully pulled the shirt off.  Dean lay down first on his right side, Cas climbed onto the bed he curled up so that his back was flush against Dean’s now bare chest.  Dean wrapped his arms around his Omega, one hand caressing the small bump.  The Alpha nuzzled against Cas’ neck, scenting every inch he could reach.

 

“Cas?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I just want you to know.  This time, with Alistair, it was different.  I knew that I had to do everything I could to get back to you.  Dying wasn’t an option for me.  Saying that, I didn’t think he would actually use the gun.  I thought he wanted me alive too much.  I was stupid.  I’m sorry that you had to go through this again.”

 

“You got shot, and you’re apologising for it?”  Cas marvelled Dean’s ability for blaming himself for everything which literally knew no bounds.

 

“I guess I am.” 

 

“Dean, just, get some sleep.  I’ll be here when you wake up.  Sam will be here and we can go home.”  Cas moved his hand to cover Dean’s, still gently tracing shapes on his bump.

 

At some point Dean must have fallen asleep, the noise of the hospital woke him first, then it was the feeling of fingers stroking his arm, still draped across his Mate’s stomach.  He came to and saw Sam sitting in the visitors chair, a bag on his lap and a container that looked like it held something that looked suspiciously like pie.  “What’s that in the box?  Is it pie?”  Dean couldn’t help it, after last night’s drama, he was starving.

 

“Well, I take that as you are back to normal if your first though the day after you got shot it about pie.”  Sam smiled.  Dean felt Cas’ chest rumble in front of him as he chuckled.

 

“Morning, Beautiful.”  Dean kissed the wayward hair on top of Cas’ head. 

 

“Good morning Dean.”  Cas turned in Dean’s arms and pressed their lips together before climbing off the bed, smiling at Dean’s questioning pout as he did so, “the doctors said they’d be round soon and that if I didn’t want to be kicked out by the nurses, I should get up, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

 

“Alright.  Gimme a shirt, sooner I can get out of here, the better.”  Dean gently pushed up to a sitting position, the pain was nothing he couldn’t handle, although he suspected that was due to some strong painkillers judging by the slight cloudy feeling in his brain.

 

The doctors came soon after, inspecting Dean’s vital signs and the stitches.  They declared his fit and healthy and safe to go home with a prescription for painkillers.  Dean politely declined.  He could deal with the pain, but didn’t like the drugs in his system, it reminded him too much of when his body wasn’t his own, both in the facility and when he was initially in hospital. 

 

When they got home there was a police man in his car sitting outside the house, he got out as the Impala pulled up the drive, the three men climbed out of the car and nodded in greeting to the officer.  “Morning, boys.  I’m sorry to have to do this now but I’m going to have to take statements from all of you, separately. 

 

“Aww, Cmon!  Officer, can’t we wait and do it another day?”  Dean was bone tired, his body working overtime to heal, the painkillers were wearing off and he just wanted to crawl into bed for the next few days.

 

“’fraid not, son.”  Dean sighed and walked into the house.  He was surprised to find Bobby there, covered in white paint . 

 

“Bobby?  What the...?”

 

“Sam called.  Told me what happened, came around to see the damage, thought I could get it sorted before you got home.  I got the Ok from the police department, don’t worry!”  Dean looked at the wall where Alistair had been pushed against; there was hardly any evidence of the previous night. There was a strategically placed rug where Dean remembered laying; he figured they’d need to replace the carpet.

 

The officer was professional and efficient in his questioning, gathering all three statements as quickly as he could.  It was clear he wasn’t used to this type of crime and was well without his depth.  He gave the group an update, Alistair was so wanted by the government he hadn’t been taken to hospital, but a Supermax security prison with a hospital wing.  He had a concussion but had been charged with a list of offences stretching back years.  There were fraud charges, conspiracy charges, sabotage charges, then there were the numerous abductions, the offences specifically against Dean, both in the facility and last night.  It looked like Alistair was going to be jailed for the rest of his life with no hope of release.  The officer was sure that it wouldn’t even go to trial, it would be a military hearing as most of the crimes were committed when he was an officer.  The government were looking for a quick, clean trial with as few civilian’s involvements possible.  Dean was glad it was over.  He wanted to put last night firmly behind him.  He stood in the kitchen and waited for the coffee machine to come to life, Cas was leaning against his good side, head cradled on his shoulder.  “So, Bobby?  Quite the interior designer are we?  Where’d you get the rug?”  Dean teased. 

 

“Shuddup ya idgit, just trying to do something nice.”  Bobby scolded.

 

“Thanks Bobby, I appreciate it.”  Dean smiled.  Cas yawned beside him.  “Ok, you know what, we’ve all had a long ass night, screw coffee, I’m going to bed, I’m taking my Omega with me.”  Dean gestured to the other two men, “you two can stay if you like but I can’t promise there won’t be happy noises at some point.”

 

“Eww, gross, Dean, too much information.  C’mon Bobby.”

 

Bobby strode over to Dean, Cas moved out the way with a questioning look. “Dean.”  The older Alpha held emotion in his face that Dean wasn’t sure he had ever seen before.

 

“Bobby?  You ok?”  Dean had the air pushed out of his as he was pulled into a tight embrace.  “My stitches.”  Was all Dean managed to squeeze out as his side started protesting at the pressure.

 

“Sorry.  I’m glad you’re ok.  You really showed the bastard!  I’m proud of you.”  Dean smiled at the older man with unshed tears in his eyes.  Bobby was more of a father to him than John Winchester ever was and the words meant the world to him.  It was hard not to feel emotional after the last eighteen hours.

 

Sam and Bobby left soon after.  The couple sleepily climbed the stairs and into bed, not even bothering to undress.  They cuddled together and both fell asleep almost instantly.


	54. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
> 
> Having a bit of a time with everything at the moment but couldn't leave you hanging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely nothing to do with the fic but i guess related in a small way.
> 
> I struggle with anxiety on a day to day basis, sometimes its the constant self doubt, sometimes its the genuine nausea that you've done something wrong or something terrible will happen. Or it's feeling like there's always something more you can do to fix the situation even when there's not, or feeling responsible for something you have no control over..... the list goes on.
> 
> today is a particular bad day for me where I felt like I was missing something all day. I have a horse who needs extra care and I was blaming myself for her not being 'fixed' already even though there's no way she could mend that quick. again... the list goes on.
> 
> What I did today is something that I have very rarely done before. I spoke to someone about how I'm feeling. It was someone I didn't know well which made it easier but it's a start. I told them why I was anxious and they listened and I felt better. Its probably one of the hardest things I have ever done but I did it. 
> 
> Sorry for the ramblings but I found when other writers on here posted about their mental health and how they helped themselves it really inspired me to do the same and if I can return the favor and one person speak out as a result of this then I will be blown away.
> 
>  
> 
> Remember  
> Always keep fighting  
> You are not alone  
> Love yourself first  
> You are enough

The rest of Castiel’s pregnancy flew by with blissful normalcy.  The knowledge that Alistair was locked away forever with no hope of release meant that the group could get back to their lives.  Dean had a few weeks off work to let his stitches heal, but went back to fixing cars soon after, he had been plagued with a few flashbacks and nightmares but the calming effect of Castiel’s soothing words chased them away and Dean soon was trouble free.  Sam spent half of his time out campaigning and lobbying the government, ensuring new safeguards so that similar events to the kidnappings could never happen again.  He championed other Alphas and supported them in getting compensation, counselling, anything they needed.  Bobby and Rufus went back to their comical bickering.  A sign things were truly back to normal.  Castiel had grown bigger and bigger but took everything in his stride, he glowed with the pregnancy, with only a few hormonal rages and epic breakdowns.  Thanksgiving and Christmas had been a joyous time, Sam came home for the holidays and, whilst there was a sadness that never really left his eyes, Sam seemed content with his life.

 

One cold winter’s morning, Dean woke to find the other half of the bed empty.  Dean checked the time and groaned, it was seven AM on a Saturday morning, Dean could never figure out why anyone would get up before double digits at the weekend.  The temptation to roll over and go back to sleep only _just_ got defeated by the instinctive urge to make sure Cas was ok.  Dean sat at the side of the bed and ran his hands through his hair, ruffling it into an array of dirty blonde.  He made his way down stairs and into the living room.  There, Castiel was lounging on the sofa, wearing one of Dean’s shirts that was now stretched over his round bump, and a pair of Dean’s sweatpants.  Dean raised one eyebrow as he appraised his Mate, in one hand Cas was holding a sandwich and in the other he was holding a whole jar of peanut butter.  It brought a smile to Dean’s lips, it should have made Dean disgusted, the stains down his beloved shirt that were likely never going to come out and the mess all around Cas’ face.

 

“You alright there Cas?”

 

“I miss peanut and jam sandwiches.”

 

“Huh?  I thought you loved them, that was your craving for the past like four months.”   Dean knelt on the floor propping his chin on his hands of the sofa seat.

 

“Tastes like... molecules.”  Cas mumbled grumpily, “Now I need peanut butter with grape jelly, not jam. Jam I find unsettling.”

 

“Riiiight.”  Dean smiled.

 

“And marshmellows.”

 

“Peanut butter, _grape jelly_ and marshmallow sandwiches?”

 

Cas nodded, he watched as Dean stood gracefully, has lean muscles contracting under the skin.  The Omega missed being toned and lithe.  Whist he loved being pregnant with Dean’s pup there times in the last few months he just felt fat and gross.  “Do you really have to parade round here showing off?”

 

“Huh?  Dean turned, he was about to head to kitchen to fix some coffee.  Dean guessed Cas was having a hormonal moment, he knew exactly how to make his Omega happy, they’d been through this before a few times now.  He turned the coffee machine on and gripped a cloth for Cas’ sticky face.

 

“YOU!  You’re all handsome and cute and muscley and strong.  I miss being not fat.”  Cas curled in on himself as much as he could.

 

Dean returned to the sofa, he caringly wiped away the peanut butter smear on Cas cheek before pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and manoeuvring both him and Cas until the Omega was in between his legs and Dean was propped up against the arm of the sofa.  Dean covered them both with the blanket, nuzzling Cas shoulder and whispering into Cas ear.  “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant and you look beautiful, all the time.”  Dean nibbled Cas’ earlobe, earning him a moan of pleasure.  Dean felt Cas relax in his arms.  “Besides, you love it when I walk about with just boxers on.”

 

“Yeah, I do.”  Cas admitted.  The Omega leaned back so his head rested on Dean’s chest, he inhaled the warm, leathery scent and let it calm him.  Something felt different today, the pup had been kicking and somersaulting all night and Cas had been awake most of the night, hence the frosty feelings this morning.  That, coupled with the fact he was strictly on decaf coffee for the last few months.

 

A sharp, cramping, crippling pain had Cas sitting bolt upright in seconds.  It lasted for ten agonising seconds before settling, “Dean!”  Cas panted.

 

“It’s ok Cas, you’re ok!  I’m here,” Dean managed to contain his absolute panic.  This had _not_ happened before.  Dean racked his brains through the last few doctors and midwives appointments, no one ever mentioned anything like this.  Cas was going to have a planned caesarean section a couple of days before his due date, as was standard for Male Omegas.  The consultant had safely delivered pups from a male Omega and seemed happy with the pregnancy as a whole announcing that they were unlikely to have any setbacks.  Dean definitely counted this as a setback, whatever it was.

 

“I dunno what happened Dean.  The baby...”  A curling shriek escaped from Cas as another stab of pain ripped through his body.  This time Cas felt his sweatpants become drenched in fluid.  He looked down to see the puddle amassing on the floor and the sofa underneath him darken with the fluid. 

 

“Cas,  breathe.  I think your water just broke.  We are going to get you to the hospital.  You will be fine.”

 

“The baby!!  Dean!  It’s not time!!”

 

“The pup will be fine, Cas.  But you gotta be strong, ok!  Dean propped Cas into a leaning position, propping him with cushions before racing through to the bedroom and hurriedly getting dressed, he grabbed the closest clothes to hand and shoved them into a duffel bag.  He sent a quick text to Sam saying they were going to hospital. He returned to find Cas panting, his face twisted with pain.  “Ok, C’mon!”   Dean reached down and lifted Cas into his arms.  Cas grasped his arms around Dean’s neck and clung on as hard as he could, he whimpered into Dean’s jumper with every painful step.

 

When the couple reached the car Dean gently placed Cas on his feet and helped him ease into the car, Dean bolted to the driver’s seat and threw the Impala into gear and raced off as smoothly as he could.  “It’s ok baby, you’re ok.  Just breathe.”

 

The drive seemed to last hours, but it could only have been twenty minutes with Dean’s determined, skilled driving.  When they got to the hospital Dean parked across three spaces at the very front of the maternity unit, not caring how many people he pissed off today.  He leapt to the passenger door and lifted Cas out of the car.  He carried the Omega through the hospital doors and made for the reception.

 

“HEY!  It’s Castiel Winchester, his waters have broken.  The pup is coming!”

 

“Sir, you’re going to have to go to the ER if it’s an emergency, Dr Kadinsky is the only one on and he’s very particular about these things.”  The receptionist barely raised her eyes from the computer she was typing on.  Dean wildly looked around and saw a clear path down the corridor to the unit, still clutching  Cas to his chest he strode down to the unit and to the nurses station where a shocked nurse stood in front of a short man in a white coat, stethoscope around his neck.

 

Dean glared at the man, the nurse tried to catch his attention.  “Okay, sir? You can't just barge in here without an appointment!”

  
“They said, "Talk to Kadinsky." You Kadinsky?”  there was no break in eye contact.

  
The nurse tried again.  “You need to be scheduled!”

 

“Well, then, schedule me!”  Dean yelled at the young nurse, making her flinch and reel back.  Dean fixed on the doctor again.  “My Omega is having a pup!  His waters have broken, he’s two weeks early!”

 

The doctor looked at the miffed looking nurse, “It’s fine, really.  Bring the Omega this way.”  Dr Kadinsky whirled through the unit to a free room, Dean gently placed Cas down on the bed.

 

“His name is Castiel.”  Dean stated, his hackles raising at the doctor’s dismissive manner.

 

“Where’s Dr Gibb?”  Cas whispered, barely audibly through the pain he was in.

 

“She’s not here.  But let me reassure you I have read about Omega births and I’m happy doing the necessary.”  Dean’s heart sank right down to his feet, it didn’t inspire any confidence.  Dean was helpless, this doctor was better than nothing but that was about as far as that praise went.  Dean couldn’t face the thought of losing Cas or his unborn pup just because the doctor had only _read_ about male Omegas giving birth.

 

“Can’t we call her?!  She knows Cas!”  Dean asked, barely holding his panic, frustration and growing anger.

 

“No.  She’s not available.  We will prep the Omega for surgery.”  The doctor ordered the group of interns now gathering in Cas’ room.  “Once he is prepped we will begin the extraction.”  The doctor turned on his heel and strode out of the room, Dean was hot on heels, his anger boiling over but not wanting to scare Cas with his temper. 

 

“Look, _Doctor,_ We’ve had what you might say is a rough day already!  I don’t like the way you speak about my Mate.  His name is Castiel.  He is giving birth to my child. Ok!”

 

“I don’t like your tone, boy!  I am a doctor!”  The shorter man said pompously, maybe you should have done your job as an Alpha and prepared better!”

 

Dean snapped at that comment, only because it rang true in Dean’s head, but he wasn’t going to let the doctor with the stick shoved up his ass know how much that hurt.  “I’m doing my job!  You do yours!”  Dean punched just an inch to the side of the doctor’s head, smacking the wall behind him.  The alpha turned and stalked back into Cas’ room.

 

“What’s happening?”  Cas had wide eyes, his face still contorted with pain, tears streaming down his cheeks.  The sight of his Omega in pain had a profound affect on Dean

 

“It’s ok!  The nice doctors are just away to get you into surgery so you can give birth, just like we planned, a couple weeks early that’s all.”  Dean cooed.

 

“Are you going to be there?”  Cas was searching his face, as if he could read what Dean was thinking.  The Omega was so fixed on Dean he didn’t see the security guards standing outside the door, threatening to enter.

 

“I’ll try.  But I dunno because the pup’s coming a bit sooner there might need to be more doctors, I dunno if there will be enough room for me.”  Dean smiled, trying to comfort Cas as much as he could, trying to bury his own terrifying thoughts as much as he could.  He clocked the men dressed in black, presumably waiting for _him._   Dean cursed his stupid Alpha temper all over again.  “I need to go, don’t worry about me, the doctors will look after you.”  Dean took Cas’ hand and kissed each knuckle.  “Trust me.”

 

“I trust you Dean.”  An increasing wave of pain crashed through Cas.  The junior doctors pushed through the door and started fussing over the Omega.  Dean stepped back and let them take over.  He turned and left the room, meeting the appraising look of the hospital security guards.

 

“You gotta come with us until the police arrive.”  One of the guards stated, holding a pair of handcuffs, ready for action. 

 

Dean hung his head in shame, he had done all he could, anymore kicking up a fuss would only keep him from his Omega for longer.  He held his arms out and let the guard attach the cuffs.  He needed to let this happen so he could get back to Cas, he would grovel, he would do whatever it took to get back to Cas again.  Dean was marched through the reception area, the receptionist taking a second glance as he passed.  The doors opened and Sam was jogging into the waiting area.  He stopped when he spotted his brother, Sam’s eyebrows frowned as he took in Dean’s situation.

 

“Sam!  Make sure Cas is ok!  Please!”  He was led to a small security office, with one chair in the corner where he was put to sit, the cuffs looped though the arm of the chair ensuring Dean kept in one place.  He was left alone in the room to contemplate what a monumental failure he was.  His Omega needed him the most and he was too busy losing his head. 

 

The sight that met Sam was like something out of Dr Sexy M.D.  That ridiculous show Dean and Cas liked to watch so much.  Dean was locked away somewhere, presumably for making the hole in the wall just outside Cas’ room.  Cas himself was in hysterics, screaming in pain and crying out for Dean.  Sam pushed past a doctor and took Cas’ hand and squeezed it reassuringly.  “Cas, it’s Sam, you’re Ok.” 

 

“Where’s Dean?!  I want Dean!  Hurts sooo much!”  the pain, almost impossibly, had got worse since Dean had been taken away.  Even Cas pain muddled brain managed to figure that the pup was protesting to Dean not being there.  Dean was the only one who could fix this.  The doctors were giving him drugs he didn’t need.  He just needed Dean. 

 

The phone was in Sam’s hand and he was dialling Charlie’s number as fast as he could.  “Charlie?  Yeah it’s me.  Listen, I need you to hack something.  Yeah, personal files.  Dr Gibb, contact numbers.”  Sam grabbed a pen and wrote on the back of his hand.  “Thanks Charlie.”  Sam hung up the phone and made a new call.  As soon as the doctor answered Sam spoke quickly and calmly, telling as much of the story as he knew.  He passed the phone to Cas.

 

“Castiel.  Is Dean not with you?”  Dr Gibb questioned.

 

“Noo!  They took him away, they won’t let me see him!”  Cas wept down the phone.

 

“Is there any staff there?”  When Cas made a sound in conformation, Dr Gibb’s voice dropped and sounded deadly angry, “Pass them the phone.”

 

The small room was becoming increasingly claustrophobic the more Dean was confined to the room, he wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there but he was ready to plead to get back to Cas when the door opened.  The security guard knelt and uncuffed Dean’s wrists.  “You free to go.  The hospital wants to apologise for what happened.  There was a bit of a mix up.”

 

Dean didn’t hear the half-assed apology as he sprinted back through to Cas room, he surveyed the room, Sam was sitting holding Cas’ hand.  Cas looked like he had been crying but as soon as Dean entered the room, the change in the Omega was visible, he relaxed and smiled.  Finally, Dr Gibb was checking the machines surrounding Cas.  Sam moved out of the way and Dean was at his Omega’s side in an instant.  “Cas I’m sorry I’m here now!  I’m so sorry!” 

 

“No Dean.  _I_ need to apologise to _you_.  But let’s have that chat later.  Cas is going to surgery now!  We were just waiting on Dad to show up.”  Dr Gibb stated.  Porters entered and got Cas’ bed ready for moving.

 

“I can stay with Cas through the birth?”

 

“You must!  In cases like Castiel’s, the birth is much more smoother when the Alpha father is present.  The pup is very particular about who they want at the birth.  I need to go get scrubbed up.  Dean, you stay with Castiel.  The scrub nurse will keep you right.”  Dr Gibb smiled reassuringly as she turned and headed for the stairs to theatres.

 

The operating theatre was a strange room, everything was so quiet, Dean was sat of a chair next to Cas’ face.  The screen protected them from seeing what was actually happening during the surgery, Cas was looking thoughtful, despite the rocky start, Cas was still able to just get an epidural and be conscious during the birth.  “Dean?”

 

“Yes, Sweetheart?” 

 

“I don’t want to be called Mommy.”

 

“Ok, what do you want to be called?”  Dean welcomed the distraction, although he couldn’t see what was happening, there were noises Dean was ok _not_ hearing.

 

“I dunno.  Just not Mommy.”

 

“Well, he can both be Daddy.  It’s cool with me.”  The smile Cas gave him, filled him with warmth. 

 

“Ok, Daddy, both of you, here comes baby.”   There was a weird sloshing noise followed by a piercing cry.  The doctor straightened up.  “Congratulations, it’s a girl!” 

 

Dean found himself hovering over the doctor, mouth open and gawping, mesmerised by the small writhing, screaming bundle in Dr. Gibb’s hands, swaddled in a towel from one of the nurses.  As soon as Dean accepted the pup, the crying almost completely stopped.  He stared into bright green eyes which were staring right back at him.  “Oh, Cas!  She’s... she’s...”  Dean was stuck on words, nothing would describe the joy, the wonder, the complete fulfilment he felt.  He brought her up to Cas’ head, he stroked her chin and smiled, tears streaking down his cheeks. 

 

“She’s perfect.”  Cas stated.  The candy green eyes searching the room for him were just the icing on the cake.  Cas never told Dean but he wished the pup would have green eyes, he always knew if he told Dean this he would say something self-deprecating and say the pup would be better with blue eyes. 

 

“Have you guys got a name for her yet?”  Dr Gibb was already working away to stitch Cas back together. 

 

“Samantha Winchester.”  Cas said quickly, before Dean could get a word out. 

 

Those words were possibly the only words that could have made Dean look away from the little pup in his arms.  He wanted to have Sam’s name somewhere, maybe a middle name but hadn’t gotten around to talking about it with Cas. “You sure?”

 

“Absolutely.”


	55. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over 5000 hits and 150 Kudos :) chuffed :)
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The hospital room Dr Gibb had put Cas in was much brighter than the they had been stuck in before, or maybe the mere prescience of Samantha was enough to brighten any room for Dean, he wasn’t quite sure.  He was sitting on the bed arms protectively wrapped around both Cas and the precious new arrival.  There was nothing in this moment that could have made it better.  The pup was snuffling in her sleep, for the couple it was entrancing, they must have already been watching their daughter for half an hour already. 

 

“She’s so tiny.”  Cas whispered.

 

“Ah, don’t let her fool you.  She’ll grow up to be strong like her Dad that gave birth to her.”  Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head.

 

The Omega lifted his head and smiled, letting Dean plant a few chaste kisses on his lips.  There was a gentle knock at the door, Dr Gibb was standing in the doorway.  “Dean, I might have been able to help out Cas with the birth a lot but I can’t guarantee the nurses won’t kick you out if they catch you in the bed!”

 

“Sorry Doc.”  Dean slipped off the bed and sat in the chair.

 

“Samantha’s vital signs are all good, she’s healthy and happy, I see she’s sleeping well which is good.  There’s just one or two things we need to discuss.”  The polite smile on the doctor’s face faltered slightly.

 

“What?!”  Cas looked alarmed.

 

“there were some complications after Samantha was born with you, Castiel.  Because of the distress you were in before the birth, some of the blood vessels around your womb were damaged, I had to repair what damage I could but, I’m afraid it’s unlikely you will be able to have more pups.  I want to apologise with how you were both treated when you arrived here.  It caused undue stress and there’s nothing I can do to fix what’s happened.  I want you both to know that Doctor Kadinsky has been removed from our staff and he is being put in front of a tribunal.  He should have got in contact with me.  It’s stated in your notes and he didn’t even look at them before deciding his treatment.  Again, there’s not good explanation for what’s happened.  Personally, I cannot apologise enough.  I’m sorry!  If it starts towards a small token, I would like to offer free health care for Samantha from myself for whenever she needs it.  Castiel, I can refer you to any fertility specialist!  There may be a way of...”

 

“Doctor Gibb!”  Castiel had to intercept, the poor woman was turning herself inside out.  “I can categorically say, I am ok with not having any more pups.  Dean?”

 

 

Dean looked surprised to have a say in the matter.  “Er, yeah!  One’s probably enough!”

 

“Oh.  Well if you change your mind the offer is there.”  The doctor’s smile reappeared when she looked into the blanket currently wrapping Samantha up, “She’s beautiful, I’m happy for you both.  I’ll leave you guys to it, there’s a small crowd of people out there dying to meet the new arrival.

 

“Thanks Doc.”

 

Pretty much as soon as the doctor walked out, said small crowd practically fought their way into the room, Sam, Bobby and Charlie were all pushing each other out the way to get to Cas and Samantha first.  Dean, stood in front of his Omega, “Hey, hey, hey, you animals!  I don’t want you all crowding over Cas, he needs rest.  Our pup is fast asleep too and I’m guessing that won’t happen on a regular basis for the next while so I would appreciate it if you were all nice and quiet.”

 

The three visitors stood stunned in silence, eyebrows raised.  None had seen Dean so paternal before now.  They all respectfully sat down in visitor’s chairs.  Cas smiled at everyone and rolled his eyes at Dean.  “Dean, they are just excited to meet our new arrival.”  He passed Samantha to Dean who accepted her with movements that were confident and secure, as if he was built for specifically this. 

 

“Ok, sorry guys.  I would all like you to meet Samantha Winchester.”  Sam’s eyes snapped from the pup to Dean’s waiting gaze.  Tears instantly gathered at the corners of his eyes.

 

“Dean...?” 

 

“Well, if it wasn’t for you, none of us would be here.”  Dean shrugged, handing the small bundle over to his brother.  The visitors cooed over Samantha for a long time until she started worrying, small whimpers making everyone’s heart melt there and then.  Dean collected the pup and put her back in Cas’ arms.  He carefully placed her head at the crook of his neck and shoulder.  She snuffled for a few minutes before settling again.  Doctor Gibb explained the importance of allowing the pup to scent both parents whenever they stirred to strengthen the bond.  There were a few things that male Omegas weren’t able to do, such as produce milk, therefore other ways of bonding were even more important.

 

After a couple of days to make sure Samantha and Cas were healthy, the new family were allowed to go home.  Castiel was ordered to rest for the next eight weeks so anything other than general baby duties and very light housework were off the cards.  The day they were released from hospital was potentially the most nerve wracking day of Dean’s life.  He had managed to fit the car seat (with some minor adaptations which meant the Impala was slightly less bad ass and more child friendly) and Samantha was strapped in securely.  Next, Dean very carefully helped Cas into the back seat so he could look after the pup on her maiden voyage in the car.  Sam couldn’t help but laugh at Dean’s new found paternal instincts and how protective it made him.  He volunteered to help with the move home with any heavy lifting being thrown his way.  The car journey lasted a lot longer than the drive _to_ the hospital, Dean religiously stuck to ten miles an hour below the speed limit and felt the need to apologise after every speed bump and steep corner.

 

“Dean!”

 

“Sorry, Cas am I going to fast?  I’ll slow down.”

 

“No!  Dean!  I want to actually get home sometime _today!_  Please hurry up!”  Castiel just wanted to get home and have a proper shower in his own bathroom have food that wasn’t hospital food and get Samantha in a blanket that wasn’t one provided by the hospital.

 

“Ok, ok.”  Dean watched the speedometer creep up until he was just under the speed limit, “That’s fast enough.”  Sam and Cas both rolled their eyes but said no more.

 

The car crawled slowly up the bumpy drive up to the house, Dean cursing the fact he hadn’t had it tarred before now.  He raced out the car and was collecting the all in one car seat / carry chair out of the back seat.  Cas gingerly got out of the car and followed.  “Ok Sammy, this is your home.  I hope you like it, Munchkin.”

 

“I was wondering how long it would take.”  Sam chuckled as he grabbed the holdall from the trunk.

 

“What?”

 

“Sammy?  Does that mean you’ll stop calling me Sammy? Sammy is a chubby twelve year old.   It’ll be confusing having two Sammys.”

 

“Ha!  You wish.  Uncle Sammy and Little Sammy.  Easy!”  Dean laughed at Sam’s bitch face thrown his way.

 

 Dean took three weeks off from the garage and barely let Cas lift a finger.  Samantha was the perfect pup.  She woke a couple of times through the night but settled quickly after being fed or changed or getting to scent one of her parents.  Dean was convinced she was more aware than what the books said pups were.  Once in a while, always when Dean was alone he would wonder how he was lucky enough to get everything he ever wanted when there were others who had suffered just like him and were left with nothing.  When he was lost in his thoughts and Samantha was in his arms she was wave her chubby little arms at him until he was pulled back to the room, then she would fix him with a look that suggested she just knew _something,_ she’d then do something gross, like a loud fart or blow a snot bubble which would make Dean throw his head back with laughter.

 

One particular night, Castiel had been up with the pup most of the night, Dean had been working hard with at the garage and was out for the count, not even stirring when Samantha screamed for attention.  Cas wanted to handle it all himself, but she had been fed, changed, she had scented both Cas and one of Dean’s t-shirts but still she wouldn’t settle.  He noticed she was running a little warm.  Through the night she was getting hotter and hotter.  Cas was now worried sick and was convinced he had to take Samantha to the hospital.  He woke Dean in alarm.  “Dean!  DEAN!”

 

“huh?!  What time is it?” 

 

“It’s two AM, Dean I think Samantha is sick, she needs to go the hospital!”  Dean was out of bed and holding his arms out for Samantha instantly. 

 

“Ok, calm down.  Have you tried...”

 

“Dean!!  I’ve fed her, changed her, she’s scented both of us!  This isn’t like her!”  Dean tried shushing and soothing the crying, screaming pup in his arms, there was nothing that was settling her, Cas was right, she felt warm but Dean remembered back to when he had to look after Sam when he was sick.

 

“Ok, let’s try acetaminophen.  There should be some in the medicine cabinet.”

 

“You want to give my baby _drugs!”_

 

“Just half a teaspoon, it’ll reduce the fever.”  Sam had got sick when he was younger and the medicine worked and their father never knew about the episode.  Cas reluctantly went to the cabinet in the bathroom and poured a small spoonful and poured it in her mouth.  Dean kept a hold of her and walked around her nursery whilst Cas collapsed exhausted in the padded rocking chair.  Mercifully, ten minutes later the screaming and crying subsided to whimpering, another ten minutes and the whimpers evened out to quite snuffling and even breaths.  Dean leant over the crib and gently lay the now sleeping pup on her back, “If I put you down, are you going to be a lady about it?”  He quietly joked.  Samantha stayed asleep as Dean pulled away.  He looked over to where Cas was fast asleep in the chair.  He bent down and picked him up and carried him through to the bedroom and lay him down.  Wordlessly pulling him into his arms and falling asleep, none of the three of them woke for the rest of the night.

 

 

At twelve months old, Samantha had everyone she met wrapped around her finger.  Cas would stay at home in the mornings but take a picnic and walk with the stroller over to the garage, Cas would eat lunch with Dean and Samantha before doing a couple of hours of paperwork.  Any female customers was just entranced with the pup and cooed endlessly.  She got even more attention than Dean did these days.  One lunchtime, Dean was spooning small amounts of what he described as ‘goop’ into Sammy’s mouth.

 

“That baby food looks gross Cas.”

 

“It’s pureed carrot and sweet potato mash.  It’s very good for eyes and muscles.”

 

“Suuure.  Sammy, I think Daddy’s gone gaga.”  They lightly bickered for a moment, joking between themselves.  “uh, oh.”

 

“What?”

 

“Isn’t that her poop face?”  Dean started recoiling, Cas was always better diapers than he was. 

 

“Noo, that’s her thinking about stuff face.  I think.”  The way Samantha would look at the world as she was analysing it became more focused, she seemed to understand her world in a way that was far beyond her age.  She looked at Dean, then whipped her head round and looked at Cas, appraising each of them.

 

Samantha held eye contact with Cas, “Dada.”  She turned to Dean and placed her little hand on his cheek, “Papa.”

 

The couple were speechless for a minute.  Dean blinked and remembered he should probably respond.  “There’s my clever girl!”  He looked over at his Mate whose eyes were filling with happy tears.  “That fixes that problem of who gets called what.”  It had only cropped up once since Sammy had been born, neither had noticed how much she had been paying to that particular conversation. 

 

Castiel held his arms out for Samantha, Dean handed her over.  “You are so clever!  My little Einstein pup!”  Castiel peppered her with little kisses, making her squeal with laughter.  She continued to grow and develop exactly as she should.  She started nursery aged four and made friends with nearly all the other kids within a few day.  The small family was perfectly happy, eventually the nightmare of how the couple met faded into the background.  They made up a story about how they met that they told so many times that, eventually, it just became the story and the horrific few months of the facility was nothing but one bad memory.  Because Cas couldn’t conceive any more children, he never had another full blown heat but still responded to Dean’s touch like a horny teenager, similarly, Dean never needed to suffer a rut again but as soon as Cas made any slight hint towards sex Dean could feel his knot swell with interest. 

 

Uncle Sam was a very active part of the family.  He spent most of his time in Lawrence and only went away on business when he had to.  He bought his own place a few miles away from Dean and Cas, he visited wither the garage or the couple’s house most days.  He was also fully utilised as free childcare when Dean and Castiel decided to take back date night, or went away for a romantic weekend together.  Sam was content with his life now.  He couldn’t deny he still ached for the life he would never have.  He would still mourn Jess, and the children they never had from time to time but he satisfied himself with being the best Uncle in the world.  Even Bobby took to grandparenthood with aplomb and was also completely besotted with Samantha.  The whole clan watched Samantha grow to be an independent, caring, beautiful young woman and were thankful that _nothing_ and no one would ever hurt her, not with a whole pack of Alphas and a fiercely protective Omega watching over her.


	56. Timestamp 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so that's the story over!! all done! Nothing more to see!!!
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> I know!! I know!! Oh please stop crying your just making it more difficult! 
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> Ok how about a couple of time stamps?!

“Papa.....  Papa!  PAPA!!!”  Dean cracked one eye open to glimpse at the bedside clock it was just after six AM. 

 

“Sammy, Honey, please go back to bed. It’s not time to get up yet.”  Dean kept still, hoping if he pretended to still be asleep Samantha would go back to bed for a few more hours.  At age four and a half, Samantha was at that awkward phase where she would search out Dean or Cas if no one came to her immediate aid.  Dean and Cas were doting parents but agreed at times Samantha would need to learn how to deal with things herself, like sleeping on her own in her room.  It was comman for her to come through these days bu Cas and Dean shared the agreement that unless it was a nightmare, Sammy should go back to her own bed.  Today felt different however, something tugged at his brain, he wasn’t working but there was something else that was important that he was missing in his brains morning fog. 

 

“PAPA!!  GET UP!”  chubby hands gripped his shoulder and jiggled him side to side.

 

“Cas, your daughter wants you!”  Dean groaned turning onto his side to wake up his Mate, he found that side of the bed empty, that made Dean open his eyes and sit up int the bed, Samantha took that as invitation to climb onto the bed and on top of the confused Alpha.

 

“ _I’m_ already up, and how come she’s only my daughter before eight AM?”  Cas laughed as he pushed off the doorjamb where he had watched the scene unfold and entered the room, he knew Dean would be like this.   He set the cup of fresh coffee he was holding on the bedside table and leaned in and kissed his Alpha, who was still looking confused.  “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

 

Everything clicked in Dean’s brian quickly after the helpful reference from Cas.  Mornings were still not his strong point, especially this early.  “Crap!  I mean....  Merry Christmas, Cas, and to you, you little monster!” He gathered Sammy in his arms and tickled her until she could barely breathe for laughing.  Cas perched on the edge of the bed and laughed along with the other two. 

 

“Dere’s... Dere’s pancakes for beakfast!  And Pwesents!!!”  Samantha declared when she finally managed to squirm out of Dean’s arms, jumping with joy on the bed. 

 

“Shame you gotta wait for me to get up then, cos I’m being attacked by the blankets monster!  Can’t escape!!”  Dean slid under the covers, laughing as Sammy pulled at the blankets,

 

“NOOOO!!!!  NO MONSTER BAD MONSTER!!!”   She stamped her feet on the mattress and jumped up and down on the blankets.  

 

Dean popped his head out.  “Phew thanks Sammy!  Let’s go get some breakfast!  Then...”  Dean wasn’t allowed to finish his sentence.

 

“PWESEEEENTS!!!!”  Samantha launched herself off the bed and raced out of the room and down the stairs, leaving the two adults smiling at each other.  They shared a quick kiss before Dean got up and pulled on a pair of jeans and a Henley shirt.  Hand in hand, the couple walked down stairs to find the pile of presents sorted into three sections with Little Sammy standing proudly infront of the biggest section, her most probably.  Dean subtly took over pancake duty from Cas, the batter looked a bit lumpy and was ran a bit too thin.

 

There was no use in tryin to teach Cas how to cook.  Dean accepted that he was the chef of the family but was ok with it.  “Cas, Babe.  I love that you tried but......”

 

“Yeah that batter sucks...  I don’t know what happened.”  Cas shrugged his shoulders.  Dean was itching to start over on breakfast and , to be honest, Cas knew he was crap at cooking, he always was.  Even when he was himself, if it wasn’t instant noodles it was some form of take out.  Within the hour they small family sat and ate delicious blueberry pancakes before sitting in the living room to open presents.  Cas pushed similar looking parcels to Sammy and to Dean.  “These ones first.”  He said simply.  The little girl ripped into the paper with enthusiasm and pulled the fabric inside up to her shoulders.  Cas watched her admire the sweater with a questioning look on her face, he looked across to see the exact same expression on Dean’s face as he was appraising his Christmas jumper.   The Omega couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the growing horror on the two other faces.  They both held red Christmas Jumpers with a knitted reindeer across the front.  He reached behind him and pulled out his own matching jumper.   “C’mon!!  I thought they were cute!”

 

“Cas, you’re killing me.”

 

“Daddy, the jumper’s ugly!”  Sammy piped up.

 

“Samantha that’s rude!”  Dean chided.  Inside he was laughing his head off but he needed to set an example, at least some of the time.

 

Castiel laughed, “It’s ok, they are _supposed_ to be ugly, all Christmas jumpers are.  I just wanted to see Papa in an ugly sweater!  That reaction was priceless!”

 

“Hey!  _I_ didn’t say I didn’t like it!”  Dean defended himself, he could have schooled his reaction better but the jumpers were horrendous but Dean could see a way of having fun with Cas.

 

“Well then you won’t mind wearing it today then?”  Cas challenged.

 

“I’d love to wear it.  So long as you wear yours!  We can wear them mat dinner too!  Let Sam and Bobby and Rufus enjoy them too!”

 

The thought of a house full of their closest friends and family poking fun at him in his jumper suddenly had Cas wishing he never bought the damn things in the first place.  “Oh great...”

 

Dean laughed, “You look so cute when you blush.  I’m _definitely_ getting you to wear it.”  Dean leaned in so only Cas could hear, “I’ll get Sam or Bobby to take Sammy after dinner then I can see what’s hiding under it!” 

 

“Hey you two!  Stop kanoodling with poor child in the house.  She’ll be traumatised!”   The old gruff voice of Rufus shouted through the letter box.

 

“Do I smell pancakes?”  The couple heard Sam question in the background.

 

Dean sighed and chuckled, “Guess we can’t pretend we arn’t in huh?”

 

“No ya Idgits, might have been born at night but it wasn’t last night!  Now open the door!”

 

“It’s Gramps, Uncle Sammy and Rufus!”  Samantha declared.  pulling on her jumper and racing to open the door.  Cas and Dean pulled theirs on too, and went to join their child.  The looks on the visitors faces when they appraised the jumpers was something out of a comedy sketch.  A mix of polite surprise from Sam, a questioning look from Bobby and a look of unmasked disgust from Rufus.

 

“I ain’t coming in if I have to wear one of those.”  Rufus stated.  everyone laughed and entered the house.  From that second on the house was filled with cheer and laughter.  Samantha kept everyone enthralled with her stories, she favoured her Uncle Sammy and spent most of the time with him but often asked Rufus or Bobby questions about random stuff.  Cas and Dean watched from the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. 

 

There was a deep warmth within Dean’s heart, he was bursting full of love and happiness.  Everyone he cared about was there in the room.  Despite the pain, the heartache and the sacrifices he had had to suffer, he had made it out the other side, sure he was battered and bruised but he had mended.  He even managed to help make someone as perfect as Little Sammy.  If someone had told him ten years ago where he would end up, he never would have even believed that he deserved such a life let alone manage to actually get it.  Yet here he was, his True Mate in his arms, his pup running around his family.   Dean had made it and there was nothing that would ever put his family in danger ever again.

 

Dean had spent much of the day before prepping Christmas dinner so all he had to do was put the turkey in the oven and add various things at various times, his phone had alarms set, it was all organised with precision timing so Dean could spend all day with his family.  The dinner was perfect and everyone had had their fill and was now sitting in the living room, Cas was asleep, propped up against Dean, Rufus and Bobby were snoring in their chairs, Little Sammy had nestled in Cas’ arms and was fast asleep too, leaving the two Alpha brothers.

 

Sam walked through from the kitchen, “Here, uh ... try the eggnog.” He handed his brother a cup full, brandishing a bottle of whiskey in the other hand.  “Let me know if it needs some more kick.”

 

Dean sipped it and coughed, looking surprised at the taste. The sharp whiskey burned as Dean took a larger swig than he intended, “No, we’re good.”

 

“Yeah?”  Sam had clearly already had one or two judging by the rosy cheeks

 

The older brother smiled, “Yeah.”  Sam looked away to pick something up, Dean flinched away from the drink, as it tasted toxic.

.

“Good. Well, uh, have a seat. Let’s do… Christmas stuff, or whatever.”  Sam handed a small plainly wrapped package over.

 

“We never really did Christmas before did we?”   Dean remembered sadly. 

 

“Well, there was that time you stole me some girl’s Christmas presents, what was it?  A Barbie and a twirling baton?”  Sam remembered, it was a sad memory but he tried to smile through it.  “But hey, now look at us!  No use looking back, keep moving forwards.  Merry Christmas Dean.”  Sam nodded for Dean to open the parcel. 

 

Under the wrapping, engine oil and an energy bar fell out.  “Food for me and food for my Baby, thanks Sam I love it.”  It dawned on him slowly, “Oh crap man I didn’t get you anything...”  Dean wasn’t allowed to finish his sentence, The garage was still going well but winter wasn’t as busy so money had been slightly tight after buying food for everyone and Sammy’s presents, which were mostly things she needed anyway.

 

“It’s cool man, that dinner was awesome, couldn’t have asked for a better gift.”

 

“How about the gift of my daughter for the night?  And getting those two drunks out of my house so me and Cas can....”  again he was interrupted.

 

“I get where this is going, no more details required.  I’ll have everyone out and home!”  Sam blushed and hurriedly woke Bobby and Rufus up and guided them to the car, both grumbling grumpily about being woken.  Dean managed somehow to get out from under Cas without waking him up and pulled Samantha from his arms and handed the snoozing girl over to her Uncle.  It had happened many times before and was a well practised routine.  Once the house fell silent as Sam’s car rumbled away Dean knelt on the floor, face to face with his napping Omega.

 

“Cas?  Babe?”

 

“Hmm?  Sammy?  Where is she... she was sleeping in my arms?”

 

“She’s gone with Sam.  Rufus and Bobby are away too.”  Dean kissed the exposed hand and pecked his way up the Omega’s arm.

 

“But I didn’t say goodbye.”  Cas said sleepily, his eyes still closed.  Not fully awake.

 

Dean spoke with a little more meaning, “Castiel, we have the house to ourselves.  Everyone’s gone...”  He said, as it stating the obvious, he smiles when sapphire blue eyes snapped open with understanding.

 

“Ooohhhh”  Cas instantly knew where this was heading, they had precious little time being alone together these day so anytime they were alone, they were inseparable, literally.  Cas pulled Dean so he was on top of him on the sofa, lips crushed together.  Dean slid his hand under Cas’ shirt and felt the toned muscles underneath.  He felt the Omega’s slightly cooler hands mirror his movements, the slightest touch feeling like electricity shimmering through him.  He breathed in deeply as the scent of cherry pie filled his nostrils, Cas becoming slick and ready for his knot.

 

“Damn it Cas!  After all this time you still smell so good.  Need you!”

 

Castiel could feel his boxers dampen already and was in no mood to draw this out, he gently pushed Dean up to standing and grabbed his wrist and practically dragged the Alpha upstairs to their room.  Dean got the hint and took control, he pushed Cas up against the door and plunged into a bruising kiss, using his hands to work the belt and buttons at the top of Cas’ jeans.  He pulled the jeans down and off, quickly followed by the t-shirt.  Cas wasn’t long in being alone in nakedness, he tugged at Dean’s waist band and quickly they were naked together, grinding against each other enjoying the friction. 

 

Dean guided them both to the bed and gently pushed Cas down into his back, he ran his fingers along the inside of his thigh, savouring the needy whimpers he elicited from Cas.  He licked at the golden fluid gathering between the Omegas legs, enjoying the sweet taste, he licked at the puckered hole before sliding his tongue in, moving it in all directions and seeing which would make Cas groan the longest of the loudest, it was Dean’s favourite game.  After a while he added one finger, then two and found his prostate and aimed his fingers that way.

 

“God!  Dean!!  Need you!  Want you to knot me!  Please!”   Castiel was driven my instinctual desire now.  Their love making ranged from gentle and slow to animalistic and rough.  No one way was better it just depended on the mood.  At this particular moment Cas needed rough.  He wanted the claim made stronger, he wanted to present to his Alpha. 

 

“Ok Cas I got you-“  Dean was stopped mid sentence, as soon as he pulled away Cas was rolling on to his front and presented in the very traditional pose.  His ass was on show, propped up on his elbows.  Dean learned quickly that Cas was not a one trick pony in the sack, as it were.  They enjoyed various styles of sex, today it seemed was a rough and ready kinda day.  “Ok, you want rough?”

 

“YES!  Dean, please!”  Dean didn’t need told twice, he lubed up his cock with Cas’ slick and entered the prepared hole.  He went straight into a hard and fast rhythm, revelling in the sinful noises coming from under him.  Dean manoeuvred himself so he was on all fours over the top of Cas and bit down on his shoulder, the original bite mark linking them and made it stronger he nibbled until the red mark started bruising.    Neither of them lasted particularly long and were soon tied together by Dean’s knot.  The rest of that night was spent in various positions, they made love all through the night, as if they were rutting or in heat but neither of them suffered the unpleasantries or the desperation that went along with it.  They only stopped love making when the sun started to ride once more on the day after Christmas, exhausted they collapsed one final time, both smiling and breathing heavily. 

 

“I love you so much Cas.”  Dean said, for the umpteenth time that night.

 

“Love you too.”

 

“Can I tell you something dumb?”  Dean asked, suddenly nervous.

 

“I’m sure it’s not dumb but you can tell me anything, Dean.”  Cas reached over and caressed Dean’s cheek, the Alpha leaning into the contact.

 

“Sometimes, like just now, when things are just so perfect...  I sometimes think it’s just a dream.  That I’ve made everything up and I’m gonna wake up at my dad’s house.  Sometimes I get so scared that I’ll wake up to my dad kicking the shit outta me.  It’s stupid I know but...  sorry.  I’m ruining the moment.”

 

“Heeeeeey!”  Cas pulled Dean in for a long slow kiss.  Dean had healed from his trauma of the facility and Alistair but there was still some deep seated issues with John that Cas knew would never go away but Dean was better as talking about things that made him anxious.  “I’m here.  I’m real.”  He took Dean’s hand and put it over his heart.  In turn Cas put his own hand over Dean’s heart.  “We are together and nothing will change that.  Not until we both die.  Even then, I’ll see you in the afterlife, we’ll share forever together.”  Cas smiled into Dean’s apple green eyes.  He saw the words seep in, his shoulders relaxing, a smile tugging at his lips.

 

Cas’ words were always enough to pull Dean from whatever funk he was in.  He still had the odd bad day where the memory of his father, of his life before Cas would bring him down, even then, his worst day now rivalled any good day back then.  Dean was happy now, he had everything he ever wanted and no one or nothing would ever change that.


	57. Time Stamp 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment of (if you like what you read) Kudos :)
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>  
> 
> This time stamp is a bit more sombre! You have been warned.
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>  
> 
> Thank you once more to Destieljunkie for beta reading and gently coaxing this story out of me! She is awesome and definitely check out her works!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has given me kudos, commented or even merely glanced at my work :)

Age is a cruel beast that no one had been able to tame.  Sam died aged sixty-five of a heart attack, he went quietly in his sleep.  Dean was distraught but ultimately, he knew Sam would welcome Death with open arms, it would be his ticket to seeing Jess again.  Sam sometimes talked about Death as if he was a misunderstood entity, merely looking to reunite the lost with their loved ones.  

 

 

                The news had stated a few months back that Dean Winchester was the last Alpha in existence.  Of the seventy that had been abducted all those years ago, fourteen died whilst in captivity, after too much drugs were pumped into them, ten committed suicide soon after they were released.  Twenty ended up in institutions, unable to cope with reality after being in captivity for so long.  Dean heard around half of those left were infertile, having been forced to knot so many times, pushed into ruts that sent their body’s chemistry down the drain.  The rest either never had kids or, like Cas and Dean were blessed with a girl, who would always present as Omega.  Dean was glad he was the last Alpha left.  After what the previous Alpha generation did to try and protect the lineage, Dean could only be glad that it didn’t work at all.

 

 

They were both now in their late seventies and neither were particularly spring chickens however, Cas was in the hospital with a severe chest infection.  He was very unwell, he had been for a long time, breathlessness and frailty had plagued him for the last few years.  Dean didn’t let on that he wasn’t doing much better, he was Cas’ rock, so he didn’t mention the balance problems he suddenly had, the headaches, the nosebleeds or the full body pain that lets you know _something is seriously wrong_.  Instead, he looked after Castiel as best he could, making sure he took all his medicines, his inhalers and exercised as much as he could to keep his lungs strong. 

 

 

The doctors kept telling Dean ‘Cas will recover again, one more cycle of steroids and he’ll be back home in a few days’, they said.  One look at Cas’ resigned face told Dean he won’t bounce back this time.  Last night Castiel had sat Dean down and told him so, the look on Cas’ face was not one of sadness but more one of need.  “Dean?”  Cas croaked, his voice dry and parched.

 

 

“Yeah Cas?”  Dean was already reaching for the juice on the table, aiming the straw for the pale, slightly bluing lips.

 

 

Cas needed Dean to understand, he needed Dean to let him go.  He could feel his body giving up.  Something deep within Cas told him Dean’s time was nearly up too, Dean was losing weight, it was very subtle but Cas could tell, Dean’s laughter lines were deeper, his skin paler, more translucent.  The bones in Dean’s face were more pronounced, his movements were a lot less sure.  His slacks were hanging off him now.  “It’s time.”  Was all he could manage, the effort too much for his failing body.

 

 

“I know, I know.  Me too.”  Dean took Cas’ hand and kissed his knuckles.  Cas smiled in response but was too weak for any more.

 

 

Samantha was there at the end too.  She cried for a few minutes when she entered and noted the mood of the room.  Once she had shed her tears, she spoke about how she was going to be filling her time soon.  She was going to opening yet another Walk In Centre for abuse victims, old and young, Beta and Omega.  She was also going to be meeting with the town hall and school committees about the new youth clubs.  Samantha had gotten a degree in social care and was working tirelessly to improve the lives of younger people in Lawrence, both her fathers had had rough childhoods and now she would try and make sure everyone had the same opportunities she was given when she was a pup.  Her visions for the future fill Castiel and Dean’s heats with joy.  She has a good Beta husband to looks after her, she would miss them, but her life is filled with happiness.    She kissed her dad lying in the bed, “Good night” she said, with more weight and more understanding than a normal good night deserves.  She turned to her other papa, one tear streaking down her cheek.  She kisses him good night too, giving him an approving nod, as if she knows what Dean’s already been thinking.  Samantha leaves without another word, the two men gazing into each other’s eyes.

 

 

Dean got onto the bed next to his Omega, carefully encircling the now frail Omega in his arms.  They shared one last kiss before Cas fell asleep.  Dean held him close until he felt Cas’ breaths shallow, his heart slowly getting weaker and slower.  Dean doesn’t cry, he smiles and plants a kiss on Cas’ forehead.  He doesn’t cry because he knows this is going to be his last night too.  He followed Cas to the ends of the earth, through the adventure of life and now he was going to follow Cas over the edge of the earth.  After some time he felt the last of Cas’ heart beats ebb away.  “That’s it Cas, I’ll see you on the other side.”  Dean whispers as he too closed his eyes, letting his mind drift away. 

 

 

Dean fell into a wonderful dream.  He found himself at Niagara Falls, they visited it on an anniversary road trip that they had been on.  He looked around and sees his husband, Cas standing at the edge.  Cas turns around, it’s not the Cas Dean was just cuddling in a hospital bed, it was a young Cas who looked exactly the same as he did back when they were at the falls for real.  The Omega smiled and held his hand out for Dean to come and join him.  Dean looked down at his hands and sees his youthful hands, missing the brown spots, creases and veins that plagued his old hands.  He strode over to his love.  They stood on the precipice of the falls, there was no thundering water crashing around them, it was near silent, the falls merely making a gentle trickling noise.  The men look into each other eyes, taking in the vision before them, both had a few tears sliding down their cheeks. 

 

"I told you.  We'd share forever together."  Dean lifted a hand up to Cas’ cheek and stroked the moisture away, he moved forwards and kissed his Omega, gentle but with all the emotion and the passion he could.  When he pulled away Cas smiled and simply said, in his deep, throaty voice, “Are you ready?”  Dean nods and turns to face the falls, he clasps Cas’ hand and inter locks their fingers.  The men lift their free arms out into the air and jumped forwards at the same time, leaping forwards into the unknown, together.

 

 

 

THE END


End file.
